Rockstar
by WAZAM
Summary: Clare gets the chance of a lifetime to meet her mysterious penpal and see her celebrity crush rock out in the concert of the year. Eli, teen heartthrob rockstar, has a secret that can change both of their lives. What happens when their worlds collide? AU
1. Prologue

Hello, WAZAM here. So I realize that not a lot of people have really gone outside of the actual Degrassi plot...but I'm gonna be brave and do that! I'm thinking of making this a story, but I would like some feedback to see what you guys think of the plot. I love everyone's reviews so much, especially in my last story. Wow, you guys are so awesome! So please read and tell me what you think!

**Disclaimer: **I own an overly active imagination, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Prologue._

The final bell rang, and I could not have been more ready to start my weekend!

I opened my locker and stuffed my books inside, not wanting to see them for at least three days. I really just wanted to go home because my mind had been completely focused on him all day.

Who is him?

Well, a few years ago, my best friend Alli Bhandari forced me to register on this social website because she thought I needed the distraction. Me? A distraction? No, not at all. It wasn't like one of my closest friends stole my boyfriend and made me completely miserable for months…Needless to say, Alli's intentions of distracting me were met the minute I got a friend request from a person with the username of _morty-golds49_.

Honestly, I don't know why I added him. He was a total stranger, and after the incident with my older sister Darcy a few years ago, I should have steered clear from adding strangers online. That didn't stop me, though, because I was lonely.

I was sad, tired, and his name sounded interesting.

At first, his sarcastic comments and snide responses annoyed me, but I found them refreshing and amusing. He became very interesting to talk to, even if he wouldn't tell me his real name and he knew mine. I asked him several times, but he would always say something along the lines of: "My name is simply too amazing and it has to remain a secret until I think you're ready."

That was already sketchy enough to make me run for the hills, but I didn't. He wasn't judgmental and labeled me as "the smart one" like everyone else did. He thought I was funny and kind, something no one in high school would ever bother paying attention to. One day he could be making me laugh and smile, but then the next he could be making me angry and surprised. There was always a weird combination with him, but I strangely liked it.

Lately our talks have been more frequent and surprisingly much more flirtatious. It's a little silly that I find myself always getting butterflies in my stomach when he compliments me or suggests that we actually meet. I know he's kidding when he says things like that because he's very discreet. Or was he…? Well, it didn't matter anyway, because I probably was never going to meet him…

Anyway, as of today, we've been good friends for two whole years!

I checked my hair in the small mirror in my locker and fixed my bangs carefully. Once I was satisfied, my eyes flickered to the poster that hung on top of my mirror. I sighed dreamily as I stared at the poster of my celebrity crush and _the _hottest teen rock star of the century! It wasn't just me who thought so, but every girl who has ever laid eyes on Elijah Goldsworthy.

Not only was he absolutely gorgeous, but his music was really god too. He was the lead singer of Proxemics, an alternative band with a hint of hard rock with the most amazing melodies and lyrics I had ever heard. It was funny that even though Proxemics was kind of…eccentric, practically the whole student body had a poster of Elijah in their locker, as did I.

Although his complexion was pale, he was dark and mysterious. I hated to say it, but he was just too sexy for his own good sometimes. I think that's what made him so attractive to a lot of girls, myself included. He was just so…wow. His black, disheveled hair fell over his eyes and framed his sharply angled face. His thick eyelashes shadowed his jade eyes mysteriously as they lit with mischief; his nose was straight and perfect, and his Cupid's bow lips were etched in a drop-dead sexy smirk that made my knees weak. In this poster in particular, he was wearing an open black blazer and a gray under shirt that showed off what looked like toned muscles, a silver pendant hung on his neck, and a thick wrist band with studs adorned his wrist. His thumbs were inside the pockets of dark skinny jeans that only he could pull off, and his long fingers sprawled over his pants to show off his many signature silver rings.

In one word, the boy was amazing! I bit my lip gently as I stared into his eyes in the picture. I would die if I could go see him live, and see him giving me his crooked smile, only for me. My mind immediately wandered to fantasies of having back stage passes and actually meeting him. I blushed when my thoughts turned away from innocent, which involved him, me, and his dressing room...

_BANG! _

I gasped and saw that Alli had closed my locker and stared at me, her eyes wide with excitement.

"Oh my GOD, Clare Edwards! Guess who's having a concert in Canada?" Alli exclaimed, earning us weird looks from the people around us.

I laughed nervously and smiled apologetically at the passing students. "Okay, I'll go with it. Who's coming?"

"Proxemics! ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY! AHHH!" she squealed and flailed her arms like a mad woman.

My stomach flipped and my heart sped up. "OH my gosh, no way, Alli!" I couldn't help but squeal back.

A group of girls approached us then.

"WHOA! Did I just hear that _the _Elijah Goldsworthy is having a concert here?" one of them asked.

"When is he coming? Oh my god, I would die to get front row seats!"

"Excuse me! Please ogle Elijah Goldsworthy away from this conversation," Alli scoffed, crossing her arms.

The girls groaned and walked away from us. I laughed and walked with Alli out of the school and started our way home. She started filling me in on the details of the concert; Proxemics would be giving one concert in one week in Toronto, which was about six hours from where we were in Ontario. Alli had already checked online and most of the tickets were already gone. The only ones left were at the very top of the arena or lawn seats, which was clearly not our first choice. We wanted to be able to see him, however far away he was.

"Do you think your mom would let you go?" Alli asked.

"Well, she's heard me mention them before. She'd probably let me if I went with a group, you know?" I responded, thinking of the possibilities.

"Same here! We could ask Peter and my brother Sav, I know they love Proxemics. And I'm pretty sure Bianca likes them, maybe even Anya. We could totally go in a group!" she started ranting on and on.

I smiled knowingly and took out my iPod. I gave her one of the headphone and turned on one of their songs and swooned at his voice. "I hate that there's only back seats, but what I would do to get that boy to sing this to me," Alli sighed.

"Hey, back off, sister!" I teased playfully. "I'm not sure if we should do this if there are only bad seats..."

We reached Alli's house and we sighed sadly. "Well, I'm gonna talk to my parents about it and see what's up. Then we can decide, yes?"

I nodded and waved good-bye.

**ooooooo**

I flopped onto my bed and opened up my laptop. While I waited for my slow computer to sign me into FaceRange, I decided to open up the Internet to check out when Proxemics was coming. Maybe I would be able to convince my parents...

_BLING!_

_ONE NEW MESSAGE_

**morty-golds49: **hey, blue eyes

I smiled and bit my lip softly.

**clare-e23: **hey :) so guess what?

**morty-golds49: **chicken butt?

**clare-e23: **...what?

**morty-golds49: **you know, it rhymes...? never mind. what's up?

**clare-e23: **haha wow :P so yeah, two years ago today we became friends!

**morty-golds49: **oh, you're keeping track I see. do I have to get you a 2-year anniversary present, _honey_?

I blushed.

**clare-e23: **weeeeell…...nahh I'm just kidding :) haha. hey, so have you heard of Proxemics?

**morty-golds49: **I guess you can say I'm familiar with their work. why?

**clare-e23: **I love their music! and my friend Alli told me that they were coming to Toronto, Canada, and I'm so upset that there aren't any tickets left! And plus it's like 6 hours away :(

**morty-golds49: **do you want one?

I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion.

**clare-e23: **want one what?

**morty-golds49: **a ticket, obviously

**clare-e23: **...you have an extra ticket? :O

**morty-golds49: **why, yes I do. backstage passes, actually

My mouth was gaping open.

**morty-golds49: **as a matter of fact, it could be your excuse to come and meet me- face to face

**clare-e23: **whoa...didn't you say you were in California last week? and how did you get backstage passes?

**morty-golds49: **lets just say I'm really close to the guys who work for them, I was able to snag some. and I told you I traveled a lot. that just shows how much you care, thanks

**clare-e23: **I do too care! I just didn't think you moved so fast...

**morty-golds49: **so...backstage pass to Proxemics?

**clare-e23: **and you'd come with me?

**morty-golds49: **I'd take care of everything, trust me. so what do you say, blue eyes? stay or go?

I blinked and I completely forgot about my parents, about Alli, and about the risk I would be taking going to meet this guy I didn't even really know. But just the thought of meeting this amazing stranger at last, and seeing Elijah Goldsworthy singing in front of my eyes and the possibility of talking to him after...

**clare-e23: **when can I leave?

**morty-golds49: **I'll go ahead and arrange plane tickets for next week. I'll fill you in on the details tomorrow. can't wait to finally meet you, blue eyes

_MORTY-GOLDS49 has signed off._

I stared at the monitor and squealed in disbelief. I'd figure out the details later, and who cares? I'M GOING TO SEE ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY LIVE!

**ooooooo**

**Somewhere in Toronto...**

_MORTY-GOLDS49 has signed off._

A smirk tugged at my lips as I thought about the conversation with Clare. It was just my luck when she brought up her wish to go to the Proxemics concert, because I had really wanted this all along. I had wanted to find some way to meet her again, but I didn't want it to be so official or weird.

Meet her again...

I bet she doesn't even remember me. I was nobody back then. Three years ago, I went to Degrassi High School. And that was when I first saw her. Her bouncy, honey curls, her beautiful blue eyes, her soft lips, her slender curves. My heart almost stopped when I saw her, walking with her friend. I had always admired her, always seen her, always wanted her.

I had a class with her at one point, but I was exceptionally good at blending into the background. No one remembers me. She doesn't remember me, but I remember her. She was so smart and amazing at everything she did. Her innocence and purity drew me to her and I wished that she could feel the same magnetic pull I felt whenever I was near her. I never got the chance to approach her, though, because it was then that my dad's business friend heard me and the band playing in my garage. He offered us a deal with a big recording company, and we hit the market like crazy. We had two albums so far, and they were in the top ten for about a year. Now we were on our first tour, nothing too big: United States and Canada. If it was a success, we would go world-wide.

Now, everyone knew who I was. I am Elijah Goldsworthy, lead singer of Proxemics, heartthrob. None of the people I met were real anymore; they just wanted to befriend me for my money and fame. I only trusted my band-mates and a few close friends. All the girls would throw themselves at me shamelessly, but I would brush them off. I never wanted anything to do with them.

I wanted Clare.

Even after I became famous one year later, I still kept her in my mind and my heart. If I saw her again, would she like me for me or my fame? I remember the day I had found her IM on the Internet. My heart started to race and my palms grew sweaty. I got the courage to add her, knowing that if we started to talk, she would get to know the real me. That would be enough. Then later (I dared to hope there would be a later) I would show her who I truly was and meet her again. As soon as we started talking, I became hooked. She understood me and never pushed me about who I was or what I did. She was the complete opposite of me, but we were always in tune with our likes and dislikes.

She was perfect. And she had said yes.

"Gabe!" I called out.

My body guard, Gabe, came into my hotel room immediately. "Yes, Eli?"

"Call my manager. Tell him I'm gonna need a backstage pass made and some flights arranged," I responded, not removing my eyes from the screen.

"Sir?"

"A special friend of mine is coming to visit," I said, a wicked grin itching.

She will be mine.

* * *

So what do you think? Prologues are short, but I promise to make them longer if you do like it. I love your feedback! Thank you!

**WAZAM**


	2. Can I have it?

Ahh, I loved all of your reviews! I was reading them during school and I was smiling like a fool all day, so thank you for bringing me happiness, my beautiful readers! Thanks to your motivation, I have decided to continue the story. WOOT! And I realize that the story line is somewhat similar to some other stories, but I promise that I'm one of a kind! I hope that I can keep you guys interested and hot and bothered...eventually. SPOILER ALERT! Only because I'm a closet pervert. Well...it's not really in the closet anymore, but still!

**Disclaimer: **I own three keys attached two fluffy keychains, not Degrassi

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 2._

So I think that Morty is some kind of magical being of some sort because never- and I mean _NEVER- _did I expect for this in the morning:

"Clare, honey, how would you feel if your father and I left you the house for two week?"

_OMGWTFBBQ2!$USDVFNS*(^&#YESSSSSS!___

"What do you mean, mom?"

"Well...your aunt suggested that your father and I go to this camp for grown-ups that um...helps them communicate and it'll make it much better and-"

"I get it; you want to go to a couples retreat."

"Oh well...yes. I forget that I can tell you these things now, I'm sorry sweetie."

"It's fine, you know I'll be here for you, mom. I know you and dad have been having problems so if you think this will help, that's great. I don't mind being by myself, when is it?"

_PLEASE SAY THIS WEEK PLEASE SAY THIS WEEK PLEASE SAY-_

"This week..."

_SQUEE!…_

"Huh...that's fast."

"We just found out about it and I couldn't get any of your aunts or uncles to come over and take care of you. I normally wouldn't allow you to be all alone, but I think you understand that this is for the family...I really want to make an effort."

"I know, mom. I'm proud of you, I'm sure dad will make the effort too."

"I hope so, honey. So we'll be leaving on Monday, the day after tomorrow and we'll come back in exactly two weeks. And I'm going to leave food and numbers and anything that you could need! I feel just awful about leaving you like this...I could always ask Darcy to-"

"NO! I mean...I promise it's fine mom. I'll have all the emergency numbers and plus I can always sleep over at Alli's so that I won't be by myself all the time. I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Bhandari won't mind."

"Good idea! You can just keep in touch with Alli if you need anything. So I'll leave you to do your homework, okay honey?"

"Alright mom."

She leaned down and kissed my forehead, walking to the door. I couldn't help the grin that started to twitch itself into place on my lips. This was a sign telling me that I just HAD to go to the concert! My parents never left me alone, this was so weird! Oh my gosh...what if I could convince Morty to get me another pass? For Alli! With my parents gone, we could make plans to go together! I didn't care that I was completely defying my parents by not telling them, but I know they'd say no. I needed to live dangerously every once in a while, I was still a kid. I needed to take advantage of these absolutely perfect moments.

_Oh my gosh! I'm so excited! I HAVE TO TELL AL-_

"Oh! And I overheard on the radio this morning that Proxemics was coming to Toronto next Friday. Isn't that the band you like? With that boy everyone loves? You know, the one that wears a lot of eyeliner?" she asked by the doorway.

_IT'S NOT EYELINER! It's his perfectly thick eyelashes and hooded jade eyes! It's not his fault he was born a drop-dead sexy demy-god! Yeah, that's right. I said DEMY-GOD!_

"Oh yeah...Alli talked about it at school. Eh..." I feigned indifference.

My mother smiled proudly and walked out. Of course she was hoping I would say no. If I said yes, she would probably reconsider leaving me alone. After all, he was the complete polar opposite of the type boy she would want me to bring home. Not that I would be bringing him home or anything…

I sighed and smiled. I'm actually going to meet Elijah Goldsworthy in a week! I don't care if I'm getting my hopes up; I fantasized about actually getting to hang out with him after the concert. Wow, what if he actually fell for me...? _OKAY! Le'ts not get too excited, Clare-bear..._

I got onto my IM and smiled gleefully when I saw that he was online.

**clare-e23: **morty :)

**morty-golds49: **hey clare

**clare-e23: **so...were you really serious about the concert tickets?

**morty-golds49: **if I wasn't, I wouldn't have your front row seat ticket and backstage pass in my hands, now would I? unless miss goody-two-shoes was lying to me yesterday...

**clare-e23: **of course not! I was actually gonna tell you that it's perfect because my parents are gonna be out of town that week!

**morty-golds49: **oh really? so now you can stay with me for the weekend? perhaps the whole week...?

**clare-e23: **weekend, yes. week, it'll depend on how you decide to entertain me. :P hey so um...I know I'm being pushy, but would you happen to have another ticket and backstage pass? I promise I'd pay you back any amount!

**morty-golds49: **well you see, I had no plans of sharing you this weekend so I have to ask who you think is privileged enough to take your attention from me. and I plan to keep you _very _entertained, miss clare.

Oh my gosh, my heart skipped a beat at what he was implying.

**clare-e23: **my best friend Alli, remember I talked about her? see, if I go for a weekend, she's not gonna let me go without interrogating me so I might as well just take her with me IF you have an extra, it's okay if you don't.

He didn't respond as quickly, and I bit my lip nervously. I purposely didn't answer his response; I didn't want to say something overly flirty or just too nerdy. I couldn't ruin his one chance of getting to meet Proxemics. And seeing it with my best friend and pen pal...well, that would just be the cherry on top.

**morty-golds49: **done. concert tickets and backstage passes to Proxemics on Friday November 17 at 7:30 PM. your flight is going to be on Friday November 17 at 4:15 PM and I'll pick you and your friend up to take you to the Four Seasons so you can get ready and we can all go to the concert.

My eyes widened.

**clare-e23: **whoa whoa! slow down, goldsy! how did you book all that without any of my information? don't you need our passports? and the Four Seasons? that's like, one of the most expensive hotel chains! I can't afford that!

**morty-golds49: **I don't need any of your information for the flight, it's all taken care of. trust me, okay? and you'll be staying at the Four Seasons because that's where I'm staying and it would be rude to have you sleeping in some crappy motel around the block. plus it's close to the arena. it's all my treat, blue eyes. don't even bother paying me anything.

**clare-e23: **this seems too perfect. it's surreal! I can't just not pay you anything!

**morty-golds49: **I promise that this weekend I'll be able to tell you everything about me. I'm sorry for always being so discreet; I don't want you to think I'm some kind of rapist. I'm not, trust me. when you see me this weekend, you'll understand why I'm as hidden as I am. and to answer your question: no, it's not because I'm an ugly 50 year old man. and I'm sure you can find some way of paying me back, blue eyes

**clare-e23: **okay, I'm looking forward to it :)

**morty-golds49: **me too, more than you know. and clare?

**clare-e23: **yeah?

**morty-golds49: **thank you...for allowing me these two years of friendship. I've taken more than I should have, and for that I thank you. I promise to make your dreams come true this weekend. I owe you that much.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

It's 4:30 PM and I am at Alli's house doing homework. It's not even _my_ homework! Really? I was helping her make a poster where she had to do a collage of things that represented her. Alli was cutting out the pictures from magazines while I glued and arranged them. I only agreed to help her because I know that I needed to tell her about the concert.

"So Clare, you haven't mentioned Mr. Morty in a while. Are you finally gonna meet this guy or what?" she asked, concentrating on cutting the edges of a picture.

I smiled and sat up. "Well, actually..."

Alli stopped what she was doing and looked up at me with shock written all over her expression. "You're going to meet him?"

"Um...well that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about," I started, playing with the hem of my skirt.

She instantly dropped everything and eyed me curiously. "What's going on, Clare bear?"

I sighed and met her eyes. "See, I was talking to him the other day and I mentioned that I really wanted to go to Proxemics concert in Toronto. So then he tells me 'do you want a ticket? I happen to have a backstage pass you can use', and I thought he was kidding, but then later he actually sent me a picture of the ticket and backstage pass. They had my name on them! He told me that he was living in Toronto right now and it was the perfect excuse for me to go meet with him. And I was talking to my mom and she said she was going to be out that week so I could time it perfectly and be back before they know it! So...what do you think?" I asked, desperate for a reaction from her.

She stared at me for a couple of seconds and then she smirked smugly. "So, Miss Clare actually _does _have a naughty side. I'm so proud of you Clare!"

I smiled.

"But!"

I frowned.

"I don't think you should go...without _ME_!" she exclaimed, running over to my side and sitting next to me. "I can't just let you go by yourself to meet your super secret crushy Morty without someone who can back you up in case he's...well..."

"I know, I know. So that's why I asked him if he could get me another pair of tickets," I replied.

_3_

_2_

_1_

"AHHHH! OH MY GOD, AND SO HE HAS A TICKET FOR ME TOO?" she squealed, all but jumping and yelling like a banshee.

"Yes, Alli, now sit! Before your mom comes in here!" I shushed and sat her back down.

She was still bouncing with happiness and she was smiling like an idiot. Wow, I can't imagine what I looked like at home...

"So would you consider going with me?" I asked.

"Uh, of course! We get to meet Elijah, Adam, Fitz, and _Drew_. Oh! He's so beautiful," she sighed. "But how would we get there? Where would we stay?"

I resumed my gluing duties and giggled at her excitement. "Morty said he would take care of everything. He'd pay for our flight without our information, I don't know how. And he said he reserved us a room together in the Four Seasons hotel, which is right around the corner to the arena."

"Whoa...this guy must be freaking rich or something! Clare, you really scored a good one, I'm so jealous," she smirked and continued to cut.

I blushed and smiled, not wanting to say anything.

"So, what's the plan? I go for Drew, of course, but will you use your Miss Innocent Flirt Clare moves on Elijah, or Morty?" she asked.

Hm…that's true. I couldn't exactly scream my love for Elijah and get to know him during the concert because Morty would be there, who I've wanted to meet for a really long time.

"I'm not sure…I guess I'll just see what my heart tells me to do at the moment," I replied.

Alli rolled her eyes. "Clare, you're such a dork," she laughed, and I joined her.

We were silent for a few minutes, actually taking it in. Then we started planning it out correctly. Everything with me was taken care of because no one was going to be home for two weeks so it would be easy to go out for the weekend. Plus, I would tell my parents that Alli and I were together sleeping over at each other's houses so in case my mom got paranoid and decided to pass by my house, it'll be taken care of. However, there was the whole issue with Alli's parents. We wanted to ask Sav is he wanted to take us and get in to the concert, but Alli said that Sav was going to be gone for the weekend for a mandatory field trip out of town for one of his college classes. Apparently he needed community hours so he was going to serve as a chaperone on the field trip. We couldn't do the whole "Clare is sleeping at Alli's for the weekend, and Alli is sleeping at Clare's for the weekend" because Alli's parents would most probably want to call my parents. So then we came up with a brilliantly evil plan: we were going to steal Sav's blank permission slip, make a copy of it, tell Alli's parents that Alli was invited to go as well and have them sign it, bribe Sav to agree by offering him concert souvenirs, go to the concert, make Elijah and Drew fall in love with us, get married, buy a big house where all of us will live together, and live happily ever after.

Epic fail.

Well, not really. Just the last part. Everything else worked: Alli's parents agreed and told her to stay with Sav, Sav was a bit skeptical about going with "some cyber guy", but later agreed after we bribed and gave us numbers of some of his friends who were living in Toronto that we could contact in case of emergencies, and we're all ready to go!

So now that everything was taken care of, we went to school on Monday without telling anyone just yet. The week just slipped by so fast! All I was thinking about was getting to meet Morty and spending the whole weekend with him. I fantasized that he would be handsome and just as dramatic as our conversations, and I hoped I wasn't getting my hopes up. Then on Friday night when I would actually get to meet Elijah…oh, he just makes me feel so hot and tingly inside.

It was so funny, the way my heart fluttered and my breath picked up when I saw him on TV. Especially when they show clips of him singing…his hair sticking to his forehead as the sweat runs down his face, his eyes wide and excited as he grips the microphone stand tightly in his large hands, his voice carrying out through my house and into my heart…I ache to touch him.

And then I'd think, "_Would it be so perfect if Elijah could have Morty's personality? Or if Morty could sing and compose as beautifully as Elijah_?" Okay, so I'm making myself seem vain; it doesn't matter if Morty isn't handsome because his personality is what attracts me to him, but hey, a girl can dream! I didn't know what day it was until Alli sat down with me during lunch.

"So Clare, what are you gonna wear tomorrow?" Alli asked, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Tomorrow? What's tomorrow?" I asked, genuinely confused.

She stared at me like I was crazy, and I tilted my head in confusion. "Friday, Clare? Friday night? PROXEMICS?"

My eyes widened and my heart sped up as I thought of what was to come. "Oh my god! It's tomorrow already!"

Alli sighed dramatically. "Clare, really? The single most important moment of our lives and you're actually paying attention in class? Ugh! I bet you don't even know what you're going to wear, do you?"

I blushed. "Well, uh…I have this cute little purple dress…?"

"No, Clare."

"Um, well what about that flower dress I wore for your birthday last year?"

"I don't think so."

I scoffed. "What am I supposed to wear, then? I don't really have much, I haven't gone shopping in forever!"

She grinned wickedly, and my eyes widened at the realization. "Alli, no. No, no, NO, no-"

**Two hours later…**

"ALLI I AM NOT GOING TO WEAR THIS FLIMSY…THING!"

I was currently in a dressing room wearing the skimpiest little red dress I have ever seen in my life. Alli practically had to drag me over here and she had picked out so many dresses, I got tired by just looking at the number.

"Oh come on, let me see it!"

"No, I'll just try this other one, okay?" I sighed, picking out another dress.

When I was finished, I opened the dressing room door, and Alli's eyes lit up. "Oh. My. Gosh. You have to buy this dress, Clare! It looks absolutely stunning!"

She stood up and moved me to the big mirror on the side and I gasped when I actually saw the dress. The dress was a turquoise blue that was covered in beads that formed different circular designs and fell down to my mid-thighs. The collar was wide, so the sleeves fell off my shoulders, and the dress hugged my curves perfectly and made my eyes stand out.

"You don't think it's too much for a concert?" I asked, twirling around.

"It's perfect for what you're gonna do. I'm wearing a sparkle dress, too, so don't worry. And girl, this dress is absolutely banging! It's conservative enough for your tastes, but it'll still make Elijah go crazy for you," she stated, admiring the dress.

I blushed and looked down. "Oh come on, I bet I wouldn't even get a guy's attention if I wanted to. Why would Elijah like it?"

Alli lifted her eyebrow challengingly and grabbed my hand. She started to pull me out of the dressing room and people started to turn at the commotion.

"Alli, what are you doing?" I screeched, trying to hold my ground.

Then all of a sudden, she pushed me and I bumped into a hard body. I gasped and looked up to a group of five guys staring down at me. I blushed and stammered, "Oh, I-I'm sorry about th-that, heh."

The guys smiled and laughed with me. One of them, the tallest, took a look at my outfit and lifted his eyebrows.

"Is that the dress over by the dressing rooms? Oh damn, that's freaking beautiful. I'm gonna go tell my girl to go try it on," he said and walked away towards his girlfriend who was browsing with her friends.

"Are you gonna buy that dress? You should," a brunette commented.

I felt my face heat up even more and I was at a loss. Thankfully, Alli came in and saved my life.

"Yes, she is going to buy this dress," she smiled and led me back to the dressing room.

She stared at me, waiting. I sighed and smiled apologetically. "You were right, Alli. I'm sorry to have doubted your amazing fashion style," I groaned.

She sighed in satisfaction and ushered me into the dressing room. "Okay, so after this we're going to buy you some pumps and accessories, so hurry up!"

I groaned.

**oooooooooooooooooo**

With bags and boxes beside my bed, I plopped onto my bed and sighed. I was really excited about tomorrow, I couldn't even think! I already packed and just needed to put in the last finishing touches tomorrow in the morning. Alli and I were going to take our bags with us and ask a teacher to hold them for us (I had the hook-up). Then right after school we would ride to the airport and leave!

I didn't notice that my computer had been binging for the past ten minutes until I actually registered the noise in my head. I immediately ran to the computer and realized my IM was still on.

_5 NEW MESSAGES_

**morty-golds49: **so I already arranged someone to meet you and Alli at the airport tomorrow, because I won't be able to make it to greet you personally at that time.

**morty-golds49: **blue eyes?

**morty-golds49: **fine, I get it. you're thinking of standing me up. but I promise I don't bite...much

**morty-golds49: **Clare! I need to talk to you so if you're ignoring me, now would be a good time to tell me.

**morty-golds49: **okay, now I'm just impatient. answer now or I'll cancel the flight

**clare-e23: **MORTY! don't cancel the flight! I was just packing and stuff. why are you acting like such a child? geez

**morty-golds49: **finally! see, this is why I think I should have your phone number. then you have no way of ignoring me, blue eyes

I blushed and giggled a little.

**clare-e23: **well I can't be giving my number to a hooligan. are you a hooligan?

**morty-golds49: **maybe, maybe not. why don't you find out?

I stared at the screen and looked at my phone that was right next to me on my desk. I knew I was taking a risk by giving him my number. My heart was divided into two, and I didn't know what to do.

On one hand, Morty has been my best friend for two years and he's the only person who has ever actually taken interest in me. I don't have to listen with him, he likes to listen to me. It's a wonderful change from having to listen to everyone pouring their hearts out like any typical teenager (_coughALLIcough) _to actually talking about my life, what I like, and what bothers me. He takes genuine interest and knows what to say to make me feel better or to simply make my day. He never told me anything about himself until a year later, where I picked up small details about him. Now, he opens up to me and he has been letting me into his life little by little. I have learned to love him...maybe not LOVE love, but I know that he's special.

On the other hand, I could have another Darcy situation and all those horror stories that I hear on the news about serial killers posing as teenage boys kidnapping a girl who he seduced online. This could all be a trap. Maybe he's some fifty year old horn-dog that wants to kidnap me for himself. Or maybe he's some really really intellectual twelve year old who's bedtime is still 9:00. If I gave him my phone number, I was one step closer to being kidnapped or chained to some ugly guy...or _girl! _

But you know what? I didn't care.

**clare-e23: **xxx-xxxx [1]

**morty-golds49: **mm, if I call will I end up having to order pizza?

**clare-e23: **why don't you call and find out? ;)

Oh my god, I can't believe I put that. I was fidgeting and I hugged a big pillow to my chest as I stared at my phone, wondering if he would call. Wondering what his voice would sound like. Would it be sexy and smooth? Would it be suave and charming? Would it be high and girly? Would it be sleezy and-

_RIIIIIIIING...RIIIIIIIIIIIING...RIIIIIIIIIIIIIING_

My fingers trembled as I held up the phone and saw the foreign numbers on my screen. I took a deep breath and clicked the green button. I held the phone up to my ear and I could feel my heart pounding in my ears.

"Hello?"

"Hey, blue eyes."

My eyes widened and I gasped. His voice...

_So deep and mysterious. So sexy and heart-pounding. So amused and cocky. So familiar..._

* * *

CLIFFHANGER! Ohhh, I'm so mean! But it's okay, cause I know you guys love me and you'll forgive me! I even made it extra long, just for you. Tell me your thoughts? :)

[1] I didn't want to put an actual number…I don't know, I felt weird doing it heh. So I just decided to keep it a mystery to you guys ;)

**WAZAM**


	3. Blue and Green Collide

You guys have no idea how much you inspire me! Your reviews are absolutely amazing and I cannot thank you enough for taking the time to sending me reviews, they mean a lot. I mean, it's not about the amount that I get, it's really just the fact that someone besides my imagination likes my stories. So thank you, again!

So, to something important...WHO SAW SEASON 10 PREMIER? It was insanely intense! And have you SEEN the promos for the next episode? OH MY GOD, ELI AND CLARE! I was so disappointed when I couldn't see their relationship progression in the premiere, but I was so excited when I saw a whole lot of them in the next one! Ahh! Who's excited? (COUGHCOUGH)

Anyway...back to Chapter 3! By the way, I really wanted to put some songs, but I kind of don't want to get into any legal issues. Fanfiction has been deleting stories because of songs that aren't original, and I definitely don't want that. So for the meantime, you'll have to deal with no real songs. Sorry!

**Disclaimer: **I own a George Foreman grill, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 3._

"What's wrong, blue eyes? Speechless?" the voice at the other line chuckled, sending shivers down my spine.

Was this realy Morty? Of course, idiot. Gah! And I'm just here breathing on the phone! TALK!

"N-No, I just didn't expect your voice to be so..."

"Dark and sexy? Mm, I get that a lot from all of the other girls I meet on the Internet. Oh, whoops," he chuckled again, obviously sarcastic.

"Ha, ha. Very funny, Morty," I replied.

"You know, my name isn't...nevermind."

My eyes widened and my heart pounded. "Then what is your real name? Come on, please? It feels weird calling you Morty when I know it isn't you," I encouraged.

"Well, I have my...reasons," he murmured mysteriously.

"Is your name embarassing? I don't really like my name either, but you know what it is!" I argued.

"Why yes I do, Clare Diane Edwards," he said. My name coming from his lips made my stomach erupt with butterflies.

"And no, it's not as embarrassing as yours. At least mine doesn't sound like it's from a Pride and Prejudice novel," I could practically hear his grin.

I scoffed and retorted, "Hey, it's better than having my nickname sound like it could be a new character on Sesame Street, okay?"

He gasped with heavy exaggeration, "Ouch, lady! You know I don't like being compared to big birds and trash can monsters!"

I was intoxicated as Morty and I talked, two hours passing by like melting butter. It felt so surreal talking to him like this, actually being able to hear his corny jokes and smug comments. We were flirting mercilessly, of course. I couldn't help it! He was just so alluring, and I haven't even seen him yet! It felt so natural talking to him like this, aimlessly tossing around ideas and stupid comments. It was already 12:30 AM, and I wasn't even tired yet. I was lying on my bed, staring up at my ceiling as we talked about what Superhero was better. Then all of sudden, I heard a bunch of guys on Morty's side of the phone.

"Uh, do you need to go?" I asked, trying to make out what the guys were saying in the back.

He was obviously distracted, "No, wait...hold on. Guys, will you shut up?"

"_Aw come on E...around the block...am won't stop asking...hungry!...go play frisbe...who's that on the phone?"_

I laughed at the random things I could pick up from the phone, what were they even talking about?

I heard Morty groan in annoyance and some shuffling. It was silent. _BANG! _A door was shut.

"Okay, sorry about that, Clare," he sighed.

I giggled, "It's fine. Who was that? If you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh well...you'll meet them tomorrow too, if you want. They're my best friends. You know, my BFFs, BFFLs? Yeah, them," he said playfully.

I pouted, "Fine, I'll meet them tomorrow. So if you're not gonna pick Alli and I up from the airport, who is?"

"I'm going to have my driver escort you, he'll have a sign up for you guys so don't worry about getting stranded."

"But then, when will I meet you? Will you be sitting next to me at the concert?" I asked.

He paused and laughed nervously. "Well...not exactly. But I'll be around the front so you'll be able to see me pretty well."

"Wait, I'm confused...you're always so cryptic! Will you at least tell me what you're gonna wear so I can look out for you?" I asked, really really confused. I didn't want to push him, though.

"Uh...yeah I'm pretty sure I already know what I'm gonna wear. Look for a dark green button down, black open vest, tie, black skinny jeans, and grey boots. What are _you_ gonna wear, Miss Clare?" he asked suggestively.

I blushed, "You'll just have to find out! I'll make sure to look for you tomorrow."

He whimpered, "Aw come on, please?"

I laughed, "No! Now I have to sleep because I need my energy for tomorrow. I'm so excited about meeting Proxemics tomorrow!"

"I'm excited to meet _you_ tomorrow," he said smoothly.

My heart skipped a beat and I needed to regain my posture. "Yeah, me too."

"I bet you're as sweet and pretty as your voice is," he commented, his voice sending chills down my spine. "Oh, hold on. Lemme just get something," he said before I could say anything.

I started to sing one of my favorite songs from Proxemics while I waited, and stopped when I noticed that he came back. "Oh, geez, I'm sorry. Forget you heard that! How embarassing."

"What? No, wait. Sing again, that was amazing, Clare!" he asked, all seriousness coming into his voice.

"Really? I've never really sung to anyone before..." I said shyly.

"Clare, are you for real? Man, I think you should go up there on the stage tomorrow and sing with the group! You sing way better than half of the people I've heard," he exclaimed.

I laughed at his enthusiasm. "Thanks, Morty! Maybe I'll just have to go outstage Elijah tomorrow."

"I bet you will...wait...Elijah? Ew _no. _Please do not, Clare," he groaned.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I hate-...I mean, he hates being called Elijah. It's Eli," he corrected, stuttering a bit.

I scrunched my eyebrows together. "How would you know that? Everyone knows him as Elijah," I explained.

"Well yeah, but I'm pretty sure anyone with that name would like to be called Eli, just saying," he said, acting indifferent.

Okay...this is getting a little odd. I was about to speak when he interrupted:

"Anyway, the guys kinda want to play frisbee right now so is it okay if I let you go now? Don't ask," he laughed.

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you tomorrow then?" I asked, hope lacing in my voice.

"I guess you will," he said cooly.

We said goodnight and hung up. I smiled and got under the covers with a light heart. I was going to sleep well tonight.

**oooooooooo**

Okay, so that was a lie. I couldn't sleep at all last night! I was just so excited about everything that was going to happen in one concert. The last bell of the day rang and I ran out of my class to stuff everything in my locker. I looked up at my Elijah Goldsworthy poster and squealed, knowing I would get to meet him in less than four hours. Alli came with her bag and mine as well and handed it to me. We both looked at each other and squealed, not really caring if other people saw. We were going to the concert of a life-time!

Everything was taken care of now. Alli's parents thought that Alli and Sav were already on a bus on their way to a field trip, I had locked and closed every door of the house and forwarded all home calls to my cell phone (yeah, they do that now), and now we were on the bus on our way to the airport.

"Do you have the tickets?" Alli asked, fixing her hair.

I took out the two plane tickets from my backpack. "Yeah, Morty sent them to me yesterday and they are now printed and ready to go," I said.

She took them from me and gasped. "And to top everything off, it says we're going first class. This guy is unbelievable, he must really like you," she grinned.

I blushed and looked down. "Well he did tell me he couldn't wait to see me when we talked last night," I murmured.

"He asked for your phone number? OH my god, details, Clare! What happened?" she asked, shaking my shoulders in excitment.

I laughed, "It's none of your business, Alli! But yes, we finally talked last night...for like three hours..."

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows raised in surprise as her teeth gleamed. "Clare! I don't even recognize you anymore! How did his voice sound, though? Come on, at least tell me that," she pleaded.

I blushed as I remembered when he said my name with his deep voice..."It was...amazing," I whispered.

The bus stopped in front of the airport and Alli and I walked out of the bus. We checked in at the front desk and documented our big bags to be taken to the airplane. We went through security, which was pretty annoying. We had to take off our shoes and they even opened our bags. What do we look like? Ugh. After all of the process was finished, we still had an hour to kill so we got some subs at the food court and talked about everything that was going to happen today. I was actually really glad that Alli and I had different crushes, hers was Drew Torres and mine was Elijah, of course. Of course, being the dreamer that she was, she told me about her plans to make him fall for her. She was crazy, but I secretly hoped that fantasies did come true, for both of our sakes. It was already 4:00 so we decided to find our gate. The tickets surprisingly had no gate, which I never noticed before. So we looked up at the flight boards, trying to look for our flight to Toronto. For some reason, it wasn't on there.

"Uh, Clare? Is it me, or is our flight not on the list?" Alli asked, a bit skeptical.

We looked at each other and shook our heads. This was weird. "Maybe we should just ask someone. I mean, if it didn't exist then the scanner would have rejected our tickets," I reasoned.

While we walked around the airport trying to find an employee, we noticed a really tall security dressed in all black with a large sign with our names written in red marker. He was completely out of place, he wasn't even at a gate. He was just...there, looking around. He was in front of a hazy glass door that was situated at the very end of the airport. I nudged Alli and her eyes widened. We wordlessly approached the security guard and pointed at the poster suspiciously.

He looked down at us, his sunglasses gleaming. "Clare Edwards and Alli Bhandari?"

"Yeah...what's going on?" Alli asked.

He moved from the door and opened it for us. "This way, please," he said, his voice warm and intimidating.

We looked at each other, shrugged, and walked in. It was an elevator, apparently. The guard came in and pressed some numbers around before finally pressing the bottom floor. When the doors opened, we were surprised by the loud noises of the airplanes. We were face-to-face with about 20 airplanes standing in front of gates where people were boarding. We quickly followed the guard to the outside, my heart pounding.

"Uh, he's not gonna take us to kill us, is he?" Alli joked, and I smacked her playfully.

We stopped in front of what looked like a small airplane, almost like a jet. The guard spoke into a walkie-talkie quickly, and the doors opened and dropped down the stairs. Alli and I looked back and found that there were no passengers either, so we were really confused now. The guard was waiting for us to get on, smiling in amusement.

"Yes, this is your flight, ladies," he smiled.

Alli looked at me playfully and went up the stairs first. We got in, and we were in complete shock. It was going to be our own private plane! There were six seats on one side and couches on the other, two plasma televisions, a snack bar at the end, magazines sprawled neatly on tables, rugs and posters of different colors and patterns, and three more doors in the back that led to bathrooms? I wasn't sure, but it was absolutely amazing! Alli and I looked at each other star-struck.

"Is your Morty giving us a private plane ride? What the hell, Clare? Where did you find this guy?" she asked, laughing as she plopped on one of the couches.

A man came in from the front and smiled at us. "Hello, and welcome to our flight. I have a phone call for you, Miss Clare," he smiled, handing me a cellphone.

I thanked him and got the phone. "Hello?"

"Is your transportation to your liking?" I heard Morty's voice ask.

I laughed in disbelief. "Uh, are you kidding? Why didn't you tell me that you had your own private plane? Who are you, Morty? Some kind of movie star?" I asked playfully.

"Close, but no," he laughed but then winced right after.

"What's wrong?"

"Well um...what would you do if I told you Proxemics might not be able to give the concert today?" he asked quietly.

"WHAT? Why?" I asked, my heart breaking. I was so looking forward to seeing them!

"Well uh...Elijah might have had a freak accident last night and hurt his back," he said apologetically, wincing again.

Alli stood up and tried to get answers from me, but I shushed her. "Is it bad? How do you know? Is it on the news?"

"No, but like I said before, I have connections. It's like a really bad bruise, and he might not be able to give the show of his life," he explained.

I sighed. "I don't care! His voice will make up for it, you should tell your "connections" to tell him to get off his butt and sing," I pouted.

There was a pause.

"Okay, don't worry about it. He'll show up. So to take up less of your time, your flight is gonna be an hour and you can help yourself to anything on the plane, okay? I left the flight attendants with instructions. I hope to see you soon, Clare," he said softly.

"Me too. Thank you again, Morty. I don't know how to make it up to you!" I smiled.

"I'll find a way," he chuckled, "Now sit back and relax, babycakes, and I'll talk to you later."

We hung up and the pilot instructed us to get buckled up. I explained to Alli everything Morty had said as we took off, teasing and everything. Basically, I was blushing the entire time on the trip. Once we landed in Toronto, we picked up our bags and looked for a sign with our names. We found it in the hands of a really sweet looking old man in his black drivers outfit. He was so cute, he even helped us with our bags. He led us to a black Lincoln and gave us complimentary waters. As we drove to the Four Seasons, Alli and I were jamming out to music on my iPod, but making sure not to play any Proxemics at all. It's a ritual we have for any concert, we jam pack the week before with music from the bands and then the day of the concert play completely different. We have come to realize that it actually makes the experience much more enjoyable rather than being annoyed of the same songs when you get there.

When we arrived, our driver, Gerard, helped us checking in. He told us that he would be picking us up at 7:00 for the concert.

"Here's my card so you can call me for anything that you need," Gerard said, giving us both a card with his cell phone number.

"Thanks so much," Alli and I said in unison.

He gasped and reached into his coat pocket. Our eyes widened when we saw what he was holding. "And here are the backstage passes and tickets. E...ehm..._Morty _requests that you show your passes to the guards at the front row and they will show you to your VIP seats and then go backstage in the end so that you can meet the band personally. I don't know how you girls planned to watch it," he explained.

"Yeah, that's basically what we were going to do. Thank you so much, Gerard. See you in two hours!" I said as we took the passes to Proxemics and went up to our room.

**oooooooooo**

At 7:00 sharp, we were all dolled up and ready for the concert. We were in the back seat of the black Lincoln adding the last touches to our make-up. Alli had done my make-up absolutely beautifully: it was simple with a thick brown swipe of liquid liner on my top eye lashes with a winged finish, pink shimmer, and brown mascara to make my eyes pop, and red lip stick to finish. My make-up, with my hair curled, my twinkling dress, and my black heels were, and I quote, "Elijah Goldsworthy temptress worthy," according to Alli. Alli's dress was really pretty, too. Her dress was a hot pink that hugged her like a baby-doll and fell to to her mid-thighs. Her hair was straightened and picked up in a half-pony tail, and her make-up was always perfect.

"We're here," Gerard said as he stopped the car.

We opened the doors and the large open arena filled our eyes with all the lights and music coming from inside. There was a huge line of overly-excited fans outside to get into the arena and a lot of people with blankets setting up on the field outside. I don't think I've ever seen so many people, it was insane! There were a lot of girls that were actually more dressed up than we were, with their long dresses and overly-volumized hairs. I was about to go to the line, when Alli pulled me and stopped me. She took out her camera from her purse and smiled at me.

"We have to take a picture, Clare! Right here, in front of the Proxemics sign," she said, pointing at the large banner at the entrance of the arena.

I rolled my eyes playfully and posed with her as she took our picture with the camera. We laughed, completely excited, as we made our way to the front of the line. We showed the VIP backstage passes to the guard and she let us through.

Super-cute dress: $35

Black kiss-me shoes: $20

Watching girls stare with envy as we passed the entire line with VIP tickets: priceless

The opening band was still playing in the background, so we went ahead and got in line to buy our very own Proxemics t-shirts. Alli had to buy Sav one, too, if not we would be absolutely fried. When the opening band finally finished, we went ahead and walked to our seats in the front. Of course, there were two seats in the very front just waiting for us. I was disappointed when I noticed that the front row seats were still very far from the stage. It definitely wasn't what I expected. Alli pulled me to the wrong direction and led us to a group of security at a gated area. We showed them our VIP passes, and led us to a row of seats at the VERY front! We sat down and squealed. I turned back and noticed that practically the entire arena was filled up, it was insane.

"Oh my gosh, we're so close! We're practically gonna see their sweat rolling down their foreheads, AH!" Alli exclaimed as we smiled.

I looked around, remembering that Morty told me what he was going to wear. Dark green button down, black open vest, tie, black skinny jeans, and grey boots: nowhere to be found. I pouted as I checked my phone to see if I had any calls from my parents. None, so there was nothing to worry about. I texted Morty, just in case.

_Hey! Where are you? :)  
Clare_

"Do you see him, Clare?" Alli asked, helping me look for him. I had described him to her so that she could help me.

"No, I don't see him anywhere," I sighed. My phone vibrated then.

_Are you already in your seat?  
Morty_

I pinned my eyebrows in confusion. He didn't even answer my question!

_Yeah, just here waiting. It's already 7:40, when are they going to come on? I wouldn't push your luck, you should get here fast before they start!  
Clare_

Not five minutes later, everything went black.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Adrenaline ran through my veins as I stood up with the crowd and cheered for them to come out. Oh my god, oh my god, I wondered what song they were going to play first. A rythmic beat started to pound on the drums, and a single spotlight shone to reveal Drew, wearing a black low-cut button down and jeans, on his drum sets, pounding away. I heard Alli scream even louder and I laughed at her. Then the base started to come in, a deep melody starting to come out. Another spotlight shone to reveal Adam, wearing a deep blue button down and black jeans, on the left hand side, moving his head to the beat of the drums and moving his fingers to the music. A guitar came in, and the melody started to come together, creating a sound that made my skin prickle with goose-bumps. The third spotlight shone and revealed Fitz, wearing a crimson button down and gray jeans, on the right side, moving his large hands according to the music.

My heart was pounding along with the drums as I waited to hear his voice, wanting to see his face so close! And then, everyone stopped playing, and the stage went black.

Black.

Silence.

And then...

A guitar solo started playing, rapidly and perfectly. It was loud and crazy, making the crowd roar and scream in anticipation. And that's when the flashing lights turned on again, and the whole band joined in as Elijah Goldsworthy stood front and center, moving his long fingers along his red Fender and singing into the microphone.

**"BAM! THE LIGHTS GO ON, CAN YOU FEEL IT?"**

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The crowd went wild and I screamed for him, singing along with the words as one his voice sang to one of my favorites! His voice was pure and beautiful, sounding exactly like all my CD's. I was mesmerized as he moved his fingers rapidly along the guitar and sang passionately onto the microphone, his hips thrusting sharply to emphasize drum beats, and I wanted to touch him so badly. When the song was finished, Elijah laughed and moved his guitar to the side as he lifted his arms to the crowd challengingly.

That's when I noticed what he was wearing. My eyes widened and my heart nearly stopped.

_Dark green button down_

_Black open vest with a tie_

_Black skinny jeans_

_Grey boots_

"What's up, Toronto?" he exclaimed, receiving a large roar of the crowd. He brought his guitar back to his front and started to strum.

I could only stare at him, my heart pounding, hoping, wondering. _Is it him? _Alli seemed to notice, and she covered her mouth with her hands. "Clare...he's wearing-" "I know..."

I looked down at what I was wearing and I could NOT believe this was happening. "Clare! Oh my god, it's you! It has to be you!" Alli exclaimed, shaking my arm. I was speechless.

_Strum, strum. _"...You're the only girl that has ever made me nervous...and I am yours, blue eyes." _Struuuuummmmmmmm..._

Our eyes locked, blue with green. My heart skipped a beat as we held our gazes, his emerald orbs piercing into my own and I knew he wasn't just looking at a girl in the crowd. He was looking at me.

Morty-golds49 is Elijah Goldsworthy.

Oh my god...

* * *

Ahh! So what do you think? :) I will update next Monday, hopefully. Send me love!

And trust me, this story is rated M for a reason -hint hint-. Sometime in the future (perhaps in 2-3 chapters), things will get steamy, oh yes. I think everyone can conclude from my other story that I am a closet perfect, sort of. So get ready for some of that, you naughty little readers hehe.

**WAZAM**


	4. Flashing Lights

Guess what? You've got AN EARLY UPDATE! Ding ding ding! I know all of you are probably on your way to seeing the new episode of Degrassi later today, but I just thought it would be a nice treat since someone told me it was their birthday today! Ah! Oh my gosh, I can't wait to see the amazing kiss they had in the promos. It BETTER not be a fail, because I will get so upset if something happens to Eli and Clare's relationship, grrrrr. So I don't want to keep you any longer, so please read and review if you have the time. Thank you so much for your love!

**Wait For The Rain**, this is for you girl. ;) Happy birthday! My gift to you: an extra long chapter filled with fluff and soon-to-be heat!

**Disclaimer:** I own a television set, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 4._

The loud hum of screams and chants surrounded me and the sharp pounding of my heart followed the intense beating of the drums as I stared up at Elijah, _Morty_, on the stage. Red and green lights flashed across the stage as Elijah and Fitz went into a guitar duet, strumming wildly and encouraging the crowd. I was completely enchanted as I watched him on the stage, the face of my unknown best friend; his lips were moving along with imaginary lyrics as he bobbed his messy head in concentration, his legs bending and tapping rhythmically, his body rolling and moving fluidly as he stared down in concentration at his fingers.

He was absolutely _beautiful._ The large screens focused on him as he finished his solo and returned back to the microphone. He wrapped his hands around the microphone stand and leaned it closer to his body, letting the guitar hang around his shoulders, as he pressed his lips hotly to the microphone and sang the last few heart-stopping lyrics. I was suddenly very jealous of a microphone, wanting to feel his arms and lips around me so intimately. Who knew that watching him sing would make my mind do despicable things? I couldn't even think straight.

**"LET IT GOOOOOO-AHHHEEE!" **

The stage went black again. I jumped up and down as I screamed along with the crowd, wanting to see his face again. The lights went on and Elijah put his guitar on the stand next to him, a stage crew bringing it in to switch it with another guitar. The crowd went even more insane when they brought out his signature guitar: a black Gibson with white patterns. He laughed as he approached the microphone and threw his head back in amusement. Oh my god, he was just so gorgeous when he was all worked up on the stage. I was surprised that he hadn't taken a break even though he had been up there for like two hours. I was also a bit skeptical about the conversation I had with Morty this afternoon...

_"Well uh...Elijah might have had a freak accident last night and hurt his back."_

He seemed fine to me! I mean, his other concerts were different than this one. I was actually looking forward to his crazy dance moves in the middle of solos and intense back bending that made him look so wild and sexy, but I wasn't sure if he wasn't doing them because of the lack of enthusiasm or his back injury that he hadn't mentioned. My attention came back to the stage when I noticed that he was leaning his head against the microphone, chuckling a bit.

"Wow, you guys are an amazing crowd!" he said, his eyes lighting with excitement. "Give it up for the band! Adam Torres on the bass, Drew Torres on the drums, and Fitz Gerald on the guitar!"

"AHHHHHHWELOVEYOUEHHHHHHHH!"

He went over to the band and gave them all a fist pound, it was so adorable!

"Man, I'm just...I have to admit that I was actually in a pretty un-manly accident yesterday. But I think Toronto deserves a little justification for the lack of dance moves from me," he laughed. "The guys and I were playing Frisbee last night. Yeah, I know, not what you were expecting," he started.

I pressed my hand to my heart and I gasped as more hints that he was Morty came to pieces. He had told me yesterday that he was going to play Frisbee, too. I still couldn't process that this amazing rock star could ever be Morty, my Morty. I had always wanted to meet Elijah, but no one ever really pictures them to be as amiable as a regular person. His fame would, and will always define him. I understood now why he did not want to tell me his real name or who he was; I wouldn't have treated him differently or taken advantage, but it wouldn't have been the proper time to drop the bomb on me then. Well, this SURE was the perfect time, I guess. I can't believe that I was talking to HIM this whole time!

"...and I was running backwards to catch the Frisbee and I did the most epic jump of all time to catch it, but I rammed my back into the corner of a black truck and got a seriously offending bruise on my lower back. And as much as I want to say that it doesn't hurt, it hurts like a mother!" he cried with exaggeration and put his hand on his lower back, wincing.

_What a drama king_, I giggled as the girls behind me cried for his pain.

"I was really considering not coming to the show 'cause I couldn't do any of the stunts I had planned for this show." And the crowd groaned. "But a really good friend of mine told me to get off my butt and give you guys a damn good show anyway," he smiled, shooting his eyes to mine, and I blushed as the electricity within me crackled.

He nodded to himself and let go of the microphone. "You know what? I think I just need a little bit more of motivation," he reached into his back pocket and took out an Icy Hot cream.

He held it out to the crowd and smirked suggestively, "So, who wants to rub some Icy Hot on my back?"

All the girls screamed so loud, I didn't hear anything for a couple of seconds. Offended, I turned around and saw that every girl in the audience was waving their hands around like complete idiots. I couldn't help but laugh until I heard Alli yell into my ear loudly. I turned to tell her to stop yelling in my ear, until I noticed that she was lifting up my hand to volunteer. I flushed crimson and tried to pull it down. I started to panic because I knew that if he saw me with my hand raised he would want to call on me. I struggled to get out of her grasp, hoping he wouldn't call-

"Blue eyes," he slurred huskily. Damn him! He knew I would hate the attention!

I looked up and, indeed, he was pointing at me with the sexiest smirk I had ever seen; it was almost like a crooked smile. I could see myself and Alli in the screen behind him, waiting for my reaction. I really did want to move, but I was just so stunned I couldn't even feel my face. I flushed as Alli pushed me up the small stairs and walked up to the stage. Before I knew it, I was standing face-to-face with the muse of every teenage girl's fantasies, Elijah Goldsworthy.

The crowd's cheers faded and I could only focus on him, finally. He was easily a head taller than me, and I couldn't stop staring at his face. I had been staring into his poster in my room for nearly a year and now he was here at arm's length. His hair was all over the place and sticking to his forehead, his pale complexion contrasted amazingly against his dark hair and clothes, his Cupid's bow lips were parted and moist, adorable dimples were defined on each side of his lips, his defined jaw framed his face and gave him the essence of true masculinity.

My stomach flipped when I finally let my eyes draw up to his and noticed that he was scanning my face too, trying to remember every detail. My heart fluttered when his eyes shot to mine again, twinkling with whim and excitement. He tilted his head to the side and smirked knowingly; I felt his hot hand grab mine and almost gasped at the hot adrenaline that rushed between us. He seemed to have felt it too, his eyes darkening a fraction. My breath became shallow as we stared into each other's eyes, an unknown tension and desire rising. Images of lips pressed tightly together and hands moving frantically over hot skin flashed through my mind, dreams and illusions of him and I came from nowhere, and I could not get them out of my mind. I saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and scanned my eyes for answers of what, I didn't know. But I was ready to give him anything he wanted.

But we remembered where we were, and reality snapped back. What felt like minutes of staring happened in a span of five seconds.

I felt a cold object being placed into my hand, and Elijah turned his back towards me and slowly started to raise his shirt. My face started to heat up when the girls screamed for him as the glistening skin of his back was slowly revealed to me. He stopped about halfway up his back, his muscles contracting beneath his skin as the large, pink gash was revealed in the small of his back. I shakily opened the Icy Hot bottle and squirted some on my hand. I wanted to die in happiness and embarrassment when I placed my open hand on his back and heard him groan quietly.

"WOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!"

I rubbed my hand in small circles, loving the feel of his hard muscles relaxing under my hands. I laughed nervously when I felt my hand touch the rim of his plaid blue boxers sticking out slightly from his tight black jeans. I turned to look at his face and gasped when I noticed that his eyes were shut closed and his jaw was locked together tightly, almost like he was restraining himself. I instantly retracted my hand, worried I had hurt him. He straightened his back and lowered his shirt, sighing softly. I handed him the tube of Icy Hot and blushed more, if that was possible, when he took it from my hand, his fingers lingering, as he watched me with dark green eyes. That is when I realized that he was not in pain when I put the Icy Hot on him. Not even close. I shivered under the spotlight, a wave of pleasure and power running through me.

"Much better. What's your name?" he asked, taking the microphone from the stand and tilted it towards me.

I raised my eyebrow, my confidence making its presence. "Clare," I smiled.

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and turned back to the crowd, microphone in hand. "You can thank Clare for healing my sore back with Icy Hot. Now let's get back to ROCK! Who's ready for more?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I laughed and instantly felt out of place, wanting to go back to my seat with Alli. I turned around to see Adam and Drew laughing in disbelief at me or Eli, I wasn't sure. They smiled warmly and Drew rooted for me silently, and I giggled.

"I'm going to sing for you guys a little song that you might recognize. This song means a lot to me because it started it all...," he started, taking his black guitar and started to strum a fast, happy tune. The rest of the band started to join in, playing the first song that they had ever composed: Little Lion Man, my favorite song of all time! And the song I had sung for Mor-...Elijah yesterday on the phone. I started dancing, forgetting where I was, but instantly stopped when I heard the crowd cheering for their song. I looked at Elijah, blushing, and waiting for him to tell me to get down. I was really, really, really embarrassed and I just wanted to get down. I didn't want to look like an idiot just walking out but I didn't want to be some crazy fan girl wanting to take the opportunity to molest him on stage (well, I kind of was...). Did he forget about me?

He looked back at Fitz and he took over Elijah's part, giving him time to run (well, more like limp) and bring back another microphone stand. My eyes widened. _Oh hell no..._

He placed the stand in front of me and grinned, pulling me next to him. The fast exciting melody kept playing as Elijah placed his guitar on the stand and took the microphone out of its stand. "But for this song, I'm gonna need some help because this _is_ a duet. And I _know _that anyone with a VIP ticket knows this song, hmm?" he asked me, motioning to the microphone.

I blushed and stammered, grabbing the microphone and praying that I wouldn't just faint on the stage. I looked down at the crowd and saw Alli taking pictures of me and screaming, her eyes wide with surprise and excitement. I looked back at Elijah and the warmth in his eyes gave me the confidence I needed.

Why would he put me in this position?

"Just look at me, forget everything else," he mouthed, smiling crookedly.

I gulped and smiled back, bringing the microphone to my lips. He grinned and started to move his body with the music, signaling the band to follow his lead. I giggled and mimicked his movements, looking only at him. I forgot about the millions of people that were probably staring at me right now and the millions of pictures I'm going to be in on people's Facerange, and focused only on him. He started to sing by himself, his voice projecting throughout the entire arena. It sounded completely different from up here, where the drums pounded against my feet and the instruments surrounded me rather than the sound of screaming girls. He held his note and the vibrations gave me goose bumps; he was such an amazing singer, I can't believe he would make me come up here to sing with him!

I knew it was time for me to sing, too. He looked at me and I sang with as much passion and clarity as I could muster. We started to harmonize and I was surprised by how well our voices played together, the sweetness with the huskiness. I didn't even care if the song had bad words or that there was a chance my mother would see me on TV, I let the music take over and I sang my heart out. As I continued to sing with him, I started to sway my hips and sing along, watching as he followed my lead and moved slowly because of his injury. He was moving his head forward and back like an Egyptian with his lips puckered and his eyes closed, and it was extremely adorable. He was having so much fun, and it was contagious. We sang together and the sounds of the crowd cheering fueled our song. When we sang the last note, I dropped the microphone from my lips and laughed breathlessly, not leaving his eyes for a second.

I was surprised by the reaction of the crowd as they "ooh-ed" and "aah-ed" and yelled loudly with their satisfaction. Elijah laughed and surprised me by pulling me into a tight hug. I blinked and gasped as his scent intoxicated me, like pine and mint. I hugged him back and relished the feel of his body pressed to mine, fitting perfectly. He brought his lips to my ear and panted, sending shivers down my spine.

"I told you that you would out stage me, blue eyes," he breathed deeply, and I melted.

He let go of me slowly and faced the crowd, grabbing my hand and bowing. I bowed with him and laughed, both of us turning towards the band so that they could give them the props. I looked down at Alli and nudged my head towards her to Elijah, asking to get down. He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"I'll see you after the show, Elijah," I yelled above the crowd so that he could hear me.

"Not Elijah, Clare!" he groaned, pouting.

I laughed and started for the stairs. "I'll see you in a while, _Eli_," I called back, walking back to my seat.

I turned back to him and he was smirking in satisfaction, turning back to the crowd and pumping them up for the next song. Alli turned me to her and she was exclaiming something that I didn't really understand because I was too focused on what had just happened. She was shaking me and jumping up and down, showing me all the pictures she took of us.

"You guys looked like you were long lost lovers from those romance novels, Clare! Oh my god, I'm so jealous!" she exclaimed.

As I gazed at them, I smiled softly at how surprisingly good we looked together. I was looking at his face in the pictures and I could not read his eyes, but the emotion in them made me shudder. I looked back at him as he sang a bad boy rock song, his hips thrusting to the microphone stand and his hands moving around wildly. He looked like a born bad-ass, a rock star, a crazy child. But his eyes were on mine, and I knew he was still the literate, serene boy I had grown to love to for the past two years.

How was this even real?

**oooooooooo**

After three hours of pure rock music, Alli and I picked up our things and made our way to the door that led to the backstage. We had our arms linked as we found our way to the bathroom and locked ourselves in it. We fixed each other's hair and make-up and made sure that not a single hair was out of place.

"Well, Clare, now that you and _Elijah _are all cozy-cozy, you can easily get him to introduce me to Drew!" Alli smirked.

"It's Eli," I blushed.

She smacked me playfully and blinked in shock. "I can't believe you were actually talking to _him_ this whole time. You do realize that this never happens, right Clare? You're like a one in a million girl! You're my good-luck charm, Clare. I'm so lucky I have a rock star's future wife as a best friend so that she can hook me up with all the cute boys," she teased.

I laughed at her as we left the bathroom and walked through the long hallway with pictures of famous singers who have come by the arena and performed. We made our way to the end of the hallway, where two security guards were planted. We showed them our backstage passes and they called someone from the inside. They nodded and opened the doors for us to enter. As we went in, my heart quickened when I saw the four teen stars packing up their instruments and bags. Alli held my hand tightly as we walked towards them. They were all sweaty and out of breath, lying around the couches with towels around them. Adam was the first to notice us and he grinned widely.

"Hey, it's Eli's little mystery singer and her friend," he smirked.

Eli instantly lifted his head from his guitar case and glared at Adam, while he merely shrugged and laughed. Ahh, he had taken off his button down and was left in a white wife beater. Oh dear Lord, his arms…The guys turned to us and waved at us to come over. Eli was the first to greet me, standing in front of Alli and me and smiling. "Hello, ladies. How did you like the concert?"

Alli squealed and smiled. "You guys were absolutely amazing, better than any CD," she said, looking at Drew shyly.

I rolled my eyes at her. Eli clapped his hands together and led us to the other guys, introducing us. Drew and Alli hit it off pretty quickly, with Alli's amazing flirting skills and all (some of which I lacked). Drew was smiling charmingly as he showed her his drum sets and she twirled and giggled at his stories. Adam, Eli, Fitz, and I started talking about what happened last night with the Frisbee game and the "unmanly" accident. I laughed as the three boys interacted like brothers, acting goofy and stupid and not trying to impress me at all. I'm so glad they're not like those stuck-up famous boys that act all cool and suave.

The whole time, I kept feeling Fitz's gaze directed at me, and it was making me a little uncomfortable. I mean, don't get me wrong, he was just as hot as the other boys, but he was pretty scary. Especially now, when he looked at me with a menacing expression on his face. I didn't know what I did to make him feel this way towards me, but it was borderline hostile.

"So Clare, how do you feel now that you know that your little Morty is actually Eli?" Adam asked.

I blushed and played with the bottom of my dress. "Well I was definitely surprised, but I'm just glad he wasn't some 70 year old pervert," I laughed.

"Ouch!" Eli groaned. The guys laughed as Eli feigned a look of hurt. I giggled at him and he stared at me, a shy smile forming on his lips.

Adam looked between us and rolled his eyes. "Come on, Fitz. Let's leave these two to catch up," he groaned, grabbing Fitz by the arm and moving him away.

I blushed and looked at Eli through my eyelashes. He smirked and shoved his hands in his pockets coolly. "So, do you want a tour of the backstage?" he asked.

I smiled and nodded, following his lead through another door. I looked back at Alli to make sure she was okay with us leaving, and she winked. I smirked and followed Eli through the black doors. He showed me through the whole procedure of setting up and preparing and he even showed me some singing techniques he used before every show, making me laugh. He showed me the arcade the backstage had and the break room, which was actually kind of cheesy.

After the first couple of doors, we weren't even talking about the backstage anymore. We were just teasing and flirting with each other. It felt surreal being here with him, sharing "accidental" hand brushes and compliments. Finally, we ended up back in the hallway where we first came in through, the black door where everyone else was situated a few steps away. I didn't want to leave just yet, and I guess he had the same idea because he suddenly pushed me back onto a couch and plopped down next to me. I laughed at his childish antics and relaxed

"Are you for real?" I asked, immediately blushing at my sudden outburst.

He raised his eyebrow and chuckled. "Last time I checked," he grinned.

I laughed and played with my bracelets. "I mean, why aren't you all big-headed and completely arrogant with fame?"

He leaned into me and smiled, making my butterflies return. "You've kept me grounded, blue eyes. If it wasn't for your mundane stories of high school for two years, I'd pretty much be some son of a gun who would probably take advantage of you right now," Eli said.

I blushed and absentmindedly leaned closer as well. "So, I'm not imagining this? You're really the boy behind the IM talks; my Morty?"

Eli smiled sadly and joined my fingers that were tracing my bracelets. "When you look at me, I hope that you _do _see the boy behind the screen and not Seventeen's Hottest Boy of the Year," he started, looking at our fingers that lay on my bracelet, almost touching.

"I'm not usually this...open with people. I've kept myself distant, but it seems that you have become my only exception. I've wanted to tell you who I was for the longest time, but I was scared. I was scared that you would forget about who I was and treat me like an untouchable celebrity. Ever since I got this fame, my band is the only group people I can truly talk to because everyone else only befriends me for my supplements. I think I wouldn't be able to handle it if you turned out to be one of those girls that have pictures of me in their lockers and bedrooms," he started, his fingers moving slowly to touch mine.

I cleared my throat and blushed, knowing that I had pictures of him in my locker and my room...and my computer screen...and my binders...

By the time I looked up, he was staring at me expectantly amused, trying to hold in a laugh. I tried to keep a straight face, but a small sheepish smile started to creep. Damn it! He laughed so freely that I was surprised. I had never heard such a beautiful laugh in my life, it was contagious.

"Allllright, the ultimate test. Lemme see your phone," Eli asked, laughter still in his voice as he held out his hand with a suggestive look on his face.

I stammered and panic set in. Of _course _he wanted to see it, I just so happened to have a picture of him jump-posing with his guitar during a concert that I got from the internet; _swoon..._ I shook my head quickly, wishing he would forget about his request. Why do these things always happen to me?

Eli shook his head and "tsk'ed", a wicked grin on his lips. "Clare, I don't think you wanna go down this road. I happen to be exceptionally good at persuasion," he whispered, his face tilting closer to mine, making my skin burn and my heart accelerate.

"N-No..." I squeaked back, trying to gain control of the situation. I looked down at my phone that was sitting next to me, and shot my eyes back to his. He raised his eyebrows suggestively, making me weak inside. He lunged to grab it but I grabbed it faster, tightening it in my hand. His eyes widened before narrowing dangerously.

"Oh, you're getting it now," he said lowly before attacking my sides with his fingers, tickling me.

I squealed and tried to get away from him, but he pinned my body down with his own and continued to tickle me. "STOP! E-Eli!" I giggled, squirming under him.

"Give me the phone then!" he laughed back, his fingers moving furiously against my sides. Damn those long guitar fingers!

"Okay okay!" I let out, relaxing when he finally stopped. We were laughing softly from the aftermath as he grabbed my wrists to get a hold of my phone, but when we both looked up at each other, the laughter died. I finally realized that the position we were in was actually very compromising and intimate; he was straddling my thighs on top of me and his whole body was ghosting over my own as his hands held my wrists. I looked back into his eyes, a darker shade of green, and the thick tension from the stage returned. We breathed against each other's lips, waiting.

My heart pounding and I dropped the phone onto the couch, but Eli didn't seem to care. I blinked up at him as he scanned my face, his hands loosening on my wrists but only to softly caress them with his fingers. The electricity flowed between us softly, buzzing. I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted him to press his body to mine, I wanted to forget about everything around me and let him possess me. The feeling of all-consuming lust raced through me as I squirmed underneath him, an almost inaudible growl rumbling from his chest. He was breathing slowly, heavily, and I knew at that moment that I wanted this man so badly. I had never wanted anything more in my whole life.

"I was wrong," he whispered, a slight smirk on his face.

"About what?" I asked, a little light-headed.

His eyes kept shifting from my lips to my blue orbs. "You aren't as pretty and sweet as your voice was on the phone. You're much more. You're absolutely stunning, Clare," he breathed, his sweet breath hitting my lips.

My stomach flipped and I couldn't help but tilt my head closer to his lips, his own shifting closer. His eyes were half-lidded and clouded, making him look absolutely shady and sexy.

"You're not so bad yourself, pretty boy," I whispered back, giggling softly.

Eli chuckled and experimentally dropped more of his body weight onto my body and I gasped. I bit my lip as he panted against me, his body heat overwhelming me.

"Don't bite your lip, Clare," he said softly, his voice an octave lower now. "It's making me crazy," he breathed.

I let my lower lip slip from between my teeth in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak when suddenly we heard an older man from the first room: "Where's Elijah? We need to get going! And you guys have an after-party to get to; he was the one that asked for the complete VIP package for these girls."

I looked back at him as he groaned in annoyance and dropped his head to my shoulder. I wanted to whimper when he retreated his body from mine, distancing us; the moment was gone.

"Right, I got a little side-tracked. The backstage passes include going to an after-party with us and I was going to ask if you wanted to come," Eli grinned sheepishly as he stood up and offered me his hand. "It's not really my scene, but I think you deserve the whole package; the life of fame for the night. What do you say?"

I'm glad it wasn't his scene, either. I hope he wasn't a drug addicted alcoholic violent rehab patient, but hey I like to dance! Who would pass up the opportunity to dance with the four hottest guys in the world? Especially at a party scene, with the lights, music, and heavy tension. I smiled at him through my lashes and took his hand, lifting me up. I leaned up to kiss his cheek, lingering, before walking towards the door. I made sure to sway my hips as smoothly as I could before turning on the balls of my feet and raised my eyebrow, challengingly.

"Well, you comin'?" I asked.

He blinked in surprise, shrugged, and grinned as he caught up with me to join the others. Everything was already packaged and the crew was taking everything to the outside. An older man in slacks, Adam, Fitz, Drew, and Alli were all turned our way, obviously expecting us. I blushed and walked behind Eli as he went to talk to the older man. The man handed them a different set of shirts for an unknown reason, but reasons didn't matter when all four of them took off any offending clothing from their torsos up. I seriously just wanted to take out my camera and save this godly moment, but I didn't want to get kicked out...Ahh! I wanted a photographic memory now...

Before I knew it, new shirts were placed on their backs that looked strikingly similar to their concert attire. Alli and I stood next to each other and silently screamed at our luck! She said that Drew was absolutely amazing, much more real and friendly than she had expected. They connected fairly well and she was confident that a move was going to be made at the party. I blushed when she mentioned Eli and I. I told her nothing happened backstage and that there probably wasn't going to be anything to report tonight! I mean, we were just friends, you know? It's not like we're attracted to each other, right? Just friends...?

"So you must be the lucky ladies," a deep voice interrupted. We looked to the source and saw that the man in slacks was smiling at us, extending his hand to us.

"I'm JJ, manager of Proxemics. Very nice to meet you," he greeted. "So, I trust you're enjoying everything so far?"

"Yeah, it's been a pretty amazing night," I smiled, glancing towards Eli who was currently lying back on a brown chair with a bottle of water in his hand. I smiled when I noticed Eli decided to keep the open vest and the tie, but spiced it up with a black top hat.

JJ's face became blank until he pointed at me bluntly. "You're the girl Eli asked to sing, aren't you?"

I flipped my bangs back and nodded shyly.

"You've got a set of lungs on you there, you should definitely consider going into the business. Have you been trained by anyone?" he asked, all of the attention on me again.

I blushed and struggled to answer, feeling a bit nervous. Eli suddenly walked behind JJ and put his arm around him, who pursed his lips at the contact. "JJ, stop boring these two lovely ladies with your talk. We have a party to get to! Our limo is here, are you ready?" he asked, smiling widely.

Alli nodded enthusiastically as Drew came over and took her under his arm to lead her out to the exit, where Adam and Fitz were punching each other. Pssh, boys... Suddenly, I felt the weight of my phone in my dress-pocket disappear. I looked down and saw that Eli had snuck his hand in quickly. Before I could register anything, he was looking at my phone, grinning like a madman. I squealed in embarrassment and snatched it from him, feeling my face heat up. I pushed on his chest in frustration and turned to walk to the door, hoping I wouldn't forget about my anger when I looked at his gorgeous face. I heard his boot-clad feet run after me and I gasped when I felt his arms circle around my waist and pick me up effortlessly. I laughed loudly when he started to spin me, my back pressed to his torso tightly as I held onto his forearms around my stomach. It was effortless to be with him like this, almost like I had known him my whole life.

He placed me down and slowly unwound his arms from me, dragging his hands to my sides fluidly, making my knees tremble from the contact. He came to my side and offered his arm to me, his lips turned into my favorite crooked smile. "Shall we, crazy fan girl?" he teased.

I giggled and linked my arm with his as we walked towards the exit. He suddenly stopped me a step before the door; he cleared his throat and tightened his hold on my arm. I raised my eyebrow curiously.

"Are you easily dazed by a long series of lights?" he asked suddenly, his lips twitching.

"Not that I know of," I responded, distracted by his random question.

"Good," he said, his eyes dilating and his teeth gleaming while a grin spread on his lips.

He lifted his right leg and kicked the door open loudly, the bang of the metal door making me jump slightly. After the shock, I was able to register three things:

1. There was a rather large crowd around the limousine that was parked with its door opened as Alli and Drew slid in.

2. The loud bang of the door caused all of the people to turn towards Eli and I.

3. Eli removed his arm from mine and wrapped it around my waist tightly, as if preparing me.

As suddenly as I drew in a long gulp of air, the flashes of one hundred cameras dazed and blinded me.

I looked up at Eli, his face stoic and smug at the same time; my heart pounded as I recognized the same bad-boy smirk he plastered in all of his pictures. Everything seemed to puzzle together as I remembered that I was actually in the presence of a genius, a prodigy. He was the face of alternative and rock music and is known for his cocky, sarcastic mannerisms. It was amazing to see how he quickly put up the mask, hiding away the true man and bringing out the glam. I remembered that being here with Eli, _Elijah, _would be much more difficult than hanging out with my friends back home. I remembered that Eli was one, and Elijah was another. Eli held onto my waist as he took me closer to the flashing lights and towards the limousine, and I suddenly realized:

I almost kissed a rock star.

* * *

Fear not my lovely readers, the EClare flirtation needs to escalate more before they go off with a big bang! I promise it'll be worth the wait. Trust me. :) So funny story, the thing with the Icy Heat is actually completely out of my experience! Well, it certainly wasn't me that was chosen to go up, but yeah...it'd be cool if it was...just saying.

[1] I kind of thought I should add a whimsical song as their "starting off" song, it makes me laugh whenever I hear this song. Now if you decide to hear it (which you should, it's awesome!), I got inspired because of the intense guitar and the voice. I imagine it a little, er..."rock-ier?" and with a duet, of course.

See you next week!

**WAZAM**


	5. The Vampire

HOLY JESUS, premiere episode? Freaking amazing. Last week's episode? I'm wanted to cry! Is it just me, or do the kisses between Eli and Clare get hotter and hotter each time? I mean, I don't think I've ever seen any Degrassi character kiss with so much passion, ever. I absolutely adore them! Ahh but now Clare's going through a rough spot and Eli's pushing her away! NO ELI, DON'T PUSH HER AWAY! She's just angry with her parents. I'm praying they don't end it off on a sad note. Next week looks like it's going to be very interested, so lucky for you I'm going to be taking out my frustrations on writing lovely Eclare fanfiction!

So besides what's going on in the Degrassi world, now back to Degrassi Rockstar world. So I have decided to change my regular updates on Friday, I like it this way rather than Monday. Hooray! I'm very sorry for the late update, I just wanted to make sure I gave quality, not quantity. I needed to make sure this chapter was as balanced as I wanted it to be. Thank you again, to all of my lovely reviewers who motivate me to keep writing. I never expected this story to be so popular in the first few chapters! I mean, 5,661 hits just with these last two chapters I posted? Oh my gosh, I cannot begin to explain how happy I am that there are crazy people out there like me who can picture Eli as this super hot rock star bombshell. Now, enough of me, ON TO THE CHAPTER!

**Disclaimer:** I own a waffle maker, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 5._

I blinked rapidly as the blinding lights of the large cameras flashed rapidly as Eli towed me into the masses. Eli's arm around my waist tightened and pulled me to his side so that I was somewhat covered and protected from the raging crowd.

_"Elijah! Elijah-"_

_"How does it feel to-"_

_"OVER HERE, CAN I TAKE A PIC-"_

_"Who is that girl-"_

_"Elijah! E-"_

_"OH MY GOD, MARRY M-"_

_"Is that the girl from the concer-"_

_"Have you met befo-"_

"I'M NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!"

I scoffed at the absolutely desperate comment from a girl in the crowd while I heard Eli merely grunt in amusement, the corners of his lips twitching into a slight smirk as he waved to the crowd with his free hand. When we finally reached the open limousine, he helped me in and then followed me inside. I found Alli by herself on one side as she motioned for me to sit with her. I quickly crouched my way to her side and sat next to her. Eli plopped onto the seat and sighed loudly, stretching his legs and resting his arms on the top of the seats. Drew, Adam, and Fitz were sitting on the side opposite to Alli and I, while Eli sat parallel to us.

"Alli, what if our parents see the pictures?" I asked quietly, anxious.

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't think our parents are going to open a magazine in _Teen Vogue _and find the picture. Calm down, okay?" she hushed.

"Oh that's right, you guys are sneaking out! How'd that work out?" Drew asked slyly, taking a sip of his water bottle.

The loud screaming of people started to fade as the limousine drove away and I felt relieved; I forgot that this behavior was very common in the life of a very famous band.

"Well, I really have no idea how it worked out, but it did. My parents are out of town for the next two weeks, and Alli's parents think Alli is at a school retreat with her brother," I said.

Fitz scoffed lightly, amused. "Why? The princesses aren't allowed to come to a scary rock concert?"

I frowned at his rude comment and watched as he stared menacingly at me, obviously challenging me to speak otherwise. I wanted to snarl back, but...he was Mark Fitzgerald, Fitz! It's not like I could just get on his bad side (even more than I am now). So I had to bite my tongue and look away, an angry flush on my cheeks. There was an awkward silence; everyone was probably in the same situation I was. No one wanted to confront him... Eli threw a wet rag at Fitz' head, a loud _SMACK! _sounding around the limo.

"What the hell?" Fitz groaned, removing the wet rag from his now equally wet head.

"You kind of deserve that, you prick. Clare actually took the risk of eternal punishment to come see you, and you're acting like an anti-social baba," Adam laughed, poking Fitz on the side.

Eli nodded his head in approval, and winked at me smoothly. I blushed when Alli started to elbow my sides suggestively. After that, the ride was comfortable enough. We joined in on a conversation with the band, even though Fitz was still in a bad mood. I figured that I wasn't going to care about him; I wasn't going to let him ruin my night. Drew and Adam were currently watching a video of Eli's "Icy Hot" incident that was just uploaded on the internet on Drew's phone, laughing at the absolute stupidity of it.

"Hey, it really does hurt!" Eli stated, lifting his hands in surrender.

Fitz snorted, "Yeah whatever, Goldilocks. You know you wanted to seduce your little pen-pal with your supposed injury."

"Yeah, you're such a man-whore, dude," Drew added, teasing as well.

I blushed as Eli moved around in his seat uncomfortably. "Hey you guys wanna shut up? I think I deserve a little bit of respect; I bet if Fitzy-boy ever tried to get a girl to rub Icy Hot on his back, they'd explode because of his ugliness. And who are you calling a man-whore, man-whore?" Eli retorted, obviously trying to change the subject.

As the guys began to go into their little rant, Alli took out her camera and started to show me pictures of Drew and her, knowing that the conversation was over. She showed me all of her pictures and I could practically feel a new phase of only hearing "OH MY GOD, Drew said-" and "That's kind of like when Drew and I-". I am going to be _so _miserable for the next few months! I'm happy for her, though; I can tell that he really likes her too.

"So I'm assuming we're not going to a normal party, right?" Alli started, breaking up the argument the boys were having.

Fitz crossed his arms and leaned back on his seat. "Nah, of course not. We're going to After Life," he said.

"Yeah, it's one of our favorite clubs; that's one of the reasons we like coming to Toronto," Adam added, smiling widely.

Alli pursed her lips. "After Life? Isn't that, like, Halloween? Did we have to dress up?" she asked hesitantly.

"No, not at all. Trust us, it's mind-blowing in there. It's pretty exclusive so we don't have to worry about crazy fan girls when we go," Drew explained, winking at Alli.

She giggled and I instantly became the third wheel. I rolled my eyes playfully and crossed my arms, feeling like an awkward turtle. Luckily, the limousine stopped in front of a really long, dark alleyway in a deserted part of town. Eli opened the door and we all followed out, the cool night air making me shiver. I looked over at Alli, but she seemed pretty content being with Drew. Going into a dark alleyway with complete strangers? Not very comfortable... Eli linked his arm with mine suddenly, grinning with mischief.

"I'm on to you, Goldsworthy," I glared playfully as he led me down the alleyway with the others.

"Oh no, you're catching on to my master plan! I have to knock you out and take you to my lair," he said sarcastically, a playful smirk on his lips.

We reached a broken down door, and I raised my eyebrow in confusion. Eli let me go and pushed the door open, leading to a shady room with two large guys sitting in a table. Fitz went in front with Eli as Adam and Drew pushed Alli and I in with them; I could tell Alli was also a bit confused with the situation.

"The jazz records are on the table," Eli stated coolly, contrasting hilariously with the ridiculous statement he just said.

The two men looked at us up and down, before getting up to one of the walls. My eyes widened in surprise when he pushed his body weight into the wall and opened a completely conspicuous door, faint music echoing across the room. I followed the boys as we stepped through the door and walked through a long tunnel that flashed strings of light on the clear roof above, illuminating the way. When we reached the end of the hallway, my jaw fell open at the amount of people that were in here! The club was really big; it was three stories tall! The first floor had a long bar, a dance floor in the middle, and a lounge area filled with a bunch of drunken people making out. If you looked up, you could see through the square in the center of the roof and see the other floors of the club. I imagine that the higher you were, the more exclusive it was. The music was absolutely awesome, the lighting was perfect, and I was going to dance with Eli all night long.

My theory was right; Eli led us to the top floor of the club. The DJ was on this floor with his own platform and speakers, with a lit up dance floor and complimentary drinks and food. I rolled my eyes when Alli immediately went for the free drinks. Eli came up to me and handed me a glass filled with pink, bubbling liquid. I scowled and Eli laughed.

"Come on, just try it! At least one, it's like a requirement. You're already here, may as well," Eli urged, handing me the drink.

"Isn't it illegal to serve alcohol to minors?" I asked.

Eli shrugged and grinned. "Come on, live dangerously," he whispered.

I took it hesitantly and took a sip. BLECH! I scowled and sucked in my cheeks at its foul flavor. He laughed as I set the glass down on a table and shook my head, watching him take a sip of it as well and scowl.

"Hmm, I never knew Morty was a drinker," I teased.

Adam came up to us and popped a chicken wing ball in his mouth. "Oh he's not; I'm sorry to disappoint you, but he's actually a real party-pooper," Adam laughed.

Eli raised his eyebrow challengingly, grabbed my forgotten glass, and chugged it all in one gulp. I laughed when he coughed and blinked rapidly, making Adam punch him on the arm.

"I am a man!" Eli exclaimed, grinning like an idiot.

_Mmm, a very sexy man._

I blushed at the sudden thoughts that flashed through my mind and I looked down at my black heels. When I looked back up, Eli and Adam were staring at me in amusement. Eli coughed, trying to hide his laugh as I felt my cheeks flush. I pursed my lips and smacked his arm playfully.

"Hey, shut up, Goldsworthy!" I teased, watching his face light up with mischief.

"I wasn't saying anything, Edwards!" he mocked, smacking my arm lightly.

I poked his chest, and he pushed my shoulder. Soon we were just pushing and shoving just for the sake of touching the other, not even remembering what we were talking about. Adam coughed and broke our trance completely. I coughed in embarrassment and sneaked a glance at Eli, who had his hands in his pockets and his head bowed. He looked at me through his eyelashes sheepishly, a content smirk playing on his lips.

"That's cute," Adam said, almost sarcastic.

We both looked at him, watching as he raised his hands in defense.

"Okay well, I'm gonna go get some punch," I started, but Eli stood in front of me to stop me.

"Don't worry, I got this one," he smirked, his eyes lingering before he turned to the bar where Alli and Drew were.

I sighed and smiled as the warmth spread. Adam laughed at me and tilted his head towards some couches, where we went to sit down.

"So Clare...you and Eli?" he started.

I blushed. "Uh, yeah. I don't know."

Adam laughed and placed his elbows on his legs to lean closer to me. "He never really mentioned, to any of us, that you guys had been friends for two years online? How does that feel?"

"It's definitely...a shocker that the guy I knew as Morty is actually the guy I've been ogling for three years," I confessed, running my fingers through my curly hair.

He smiled sweetly, "He really likes you, you know."

"He does?" I asked, hope lacing in my voice. I mean, I knew there was something between us, but hearing it coming from his best friend was even more exciting.

"Can't you tell?" he teased, raising his eyebrow.

I blushed and bit my lip gently.

"I don't want to go all 'best friend protective' over here, but I do want to talk to you about some stuff, "Adam started, looking back and making sure Eli was preoccupied.

I looked back and frowned when I saw Eli and Fitz arguing about something serious, probably about what happened in the limo. Fitz was crossing his arms and glaring at him, while Eli was arguing seriously, animatedly.

"Eli, I've known him for about five years now and he's always had a wall in front of him, even with me. I know this might seem hard to believe, seeing how he's acting with you, but Eli is a pretty cold guy," Adam said, looking at his interlaced hands. " I mean, we've been best friends since I met him, but he hasn't let me in until just this past year; it took four years to actually get him to tell me where his songs come from, his inspiration. It took him two years to tell me that he actually _felt _something for a girl he has been talking to secretly. I mean, that's just the way he is; and he's my best friend."

I nodded, trying to take in all of this information in. It was completely new to me, this side of Eli. He was never this way with me, and I was taken aback that the conversation would have come to this.

"Now, we come to the subject of where you come in," Adam said, looking at me now. "After we became famous, you can imagine that an infinite amount of girls started to throw themselves at us, especially Eli. I don't want to get into the topic of this too much because he should tell you himself, but he absolutely _hates _unnecessary physical contact. He's not a touchy-touchy person, it's kind of hilarious. We always tease him like that, poking him until he gets all mad and walks away in a fit," he laughs.

But then...

As if reading my mind, he confirmed, "What just happened right now before he left? That guy that was flirting like a puppy-dog? I have no idea who that is. I have never seen his walls so down and open, it's like he's two people at once! It's pretty insane," he exclaimed. "Many girls have tried to be in the position you're in, trying to get his walls to come down and be the one exception to his rule, but have failed. Of the millions of girls out there that we've met on tour, you are the one girl Eli has not pushed away, let alone enjoy being so closely intimate like that."

My heart was pounding and my arms were shaking as realization started to dawn on me.

Adam shook his head, laughing in disbelief. "Now, Eli hasn't really mentioned the magnitude of his feelings, and I don't know yours either, but just know that you're in a really powerful situation here. I just don't want to see him hurt, nor you. I've really come to like you, Miss Clare," he smiled.

I smiled back, wanting to cry with emotion, but repressed it. "I had no idea he was actually like that. I mean, he was always very discreet over IM so I understand where you're coming from, but from the way he's been acting with me...I actually thought of myself as some kind of...floozy! He just seems so cocky and open with me that I assumed that he was like that with every girl," I confessed to him, my heart heavy.

"Trust me, all this sexual tension is starting to freak me out," Adam groaned, making me laugh.

Then, Alli plopped onto the seat next to me, Drew right besides her.

"So, what'd we miss?" Alli asked, looking at me with excitement.

I turned to Adam and smiled. "Nothing new."

"Well let me tell you, Fiona Coyne is here, Adam," Drew winked.

I gasped. "Fiona Coyne? As in, keyboard player of GCJ?"

Alli nodded and squealed. "Yeah! I just met her Clare, and she's just as pretty as she is in her pictures!"

I smiled and looked back at Adam slyly. "So, Fiona Coyne?"

Adam blushed and ruffled his short hair. Drew laughed and leaned back in his seat, his arm on Alli's shoulder. "Yeah, Fiona Coyne. Adam's been crushing on her since we met them on tour a few months back," Drew laughed.

"Where is she?" Adam asked, looking around the club.

Drew closed one eye and pointed to a tall table on the other side of the floor. Adam turned and stared at her with a small smile on his lips, and I couldn't help but smile with him.

"Ask her to dance, Adam," I said.

He looked at me dumbly, before clearing his throat and standing up. He shook his head and smirked, "Wish me luck!" He disappeared into the crowd and I crossed my fingers for him. Then I felt the seat next to me sink, pulling me towards a hard body. I turned and blushed when I saw Eli, two drinks in his hand, smiling at me.

"Sorry for the delay, I had to take care of some stuff. Punch?" he smirked, and I took the cup from his hands.

I thanked him and drank the punch, not even realizing how thirsty I really was. The four of us fell into a light-hearted conversation, simply enjoying each other's company. My eyes widened a fraction when I felt his arm slowly lower so that it was around my shoulders lightly. I looked up at him to see if he was going to explain his actions, but he was already talking and laughing at something that Drew said. I smiled and blushed, my heart soaring at the thought that a small action like that was already becoming a comfortable habit. The surround-sound speakers boomed out a rhythmic beat that was so erotic, it made me want to dance. Alli had the same thoughts I did; she was already pulling Drew towards the dance floor. I took a deep breath and made my decision; I moved to get up, but a hand wrapped around my wrist and held me down. I looked back and giggled when I saw Eli stare at me with a large, innocent eyes and a pout on his gorgeous face.

"Where are you going?" he asked softly.

I remembered my conversation with Adam, and a smile spread on my lips, "I'm gonna go dance."

He lifted his eye brow, almost as if asking, _'By yourself?' _His hand tugged at my wrist a little more, bringing me further into the seat.

"Well, I do expect Mr. Elijah Goldsworthy to show me the proper way to party like a rock star," I said, hoping it sounded sexy.

Eli smirked in satisfaction, standing from the couch and moving his fingers on the skin of my wrist sensually. He was giving me that look again- the panty-dropping crooked smile was etched on his lips and his eyes pierced into mine as a deep green replaced the jade in his eyes. It was like he was hiding a dirty little secret that involved me. Then I realized that he was not merely staring anymore.

Elijah Goldsworthy was _smoldering_.

The dominance and passion in his eyes was so deep, that my heart started to pound with the erratic rhythm of the music. Boldly, I slid my hand from his grip to intertwine my small fingers with his long ones. I smirked confidently and turned to the dance floor, pulling him with me. I knew that Alli was somewhere in the middle of the mob of people dancing, so I made my way in. The body heat was absolutely insane as people started to bump into me, too consumed in the music to actually care. As I pushed my way into the crowd, I felt him stop and pull me by my hand; it caught me off guard, so the strength in his pull brought me to press my back into his front. My breath caught in my throat when I felt Eli's warm hands firmly grasp my hip and pull me close to his body; it was like every fiber in my body started to hum with pleasure.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt him sway his hips from side to side, coaxing my own to move. A burst of confidence ran through me and I let the pounding music guide my movements. Eli's grip on my hips loosened as I found my own rhythm, rotating my hips fluidly with his. Our dancing started off as innocent and small, our body movements very limited with nervousness and anxiousness; but soon, the heavy atmosphere and the heat of the crowd swaying seductively around us started to consume us. I closed my eyes and dragged my hands up my sides, passing over Eli's hands, until they were above my head, moving my hips a little less innocently against him as I pressed my back further into him. Eli's hands moved from their comfortable position on my hips and his fingers open and sliding to my stomach, the tips of his fingers touching the underside of my breasts and my lower stomach. I couldn't help but moan softly when he put pressure on his hands and pushed himself closer to me, manipulating my body into his heatedly. The more I danced with Eli, the more I felt at ease with my movements. One of my hands in the air reached back to clutch the back of his hair while the other came down to rest on his larger one near my chest.

He bent his head low to my ear when he suddenly gave a sharp thrust of his hips to my backside. I gasped and couldn't help but thrust back with him, causing his grip to tighten and his breath to quicken. Before my mind caught up with my actions, I found myself grinding into him, following Eli's lead. I was pressed up so tightly against him that I could feel every hard plane indent of his body. My breath went out of control as our rhythm was completely lost and we were dancing and grinding to an erratic beat of our own. His hands twisted and turned me around until I was face-to-face with Eli's heaving chest; I linked my hands behind his neck loosely and experimented by pushing my hips with his.

Eli shut his eyes tightly and groaned deeply, his hips coaxing mine to move again and his hands pressing deliciously over my lower back tightly. I bit my lip to hold back a moan as our hips grinded together desperately, pleasure shooting up my body and collecting in my lower abdomen. I dared myself to sneak a glance at his face and stared into his eyes; a shudder ran through my spine and caused me to tug on his hair a little roughly. I thought I had hurt him, but his hiss of pleasure and sharp thrust of his hips told me otherwise. I whimpered and bit down on my lip harder, feeling the metallic taste of blood on my tongue, knowing that I, normal Clare Edwards, was the cause for the delicious noises coming from the nineteen-year-old, famously untouchable, undeniably badass Elijah Goldsworthy.

We stopped all of our so-called dancing when Eli's dark eyes were staring at my bottom lip between my teeth hungrily, ignoring the screams and beats of the crazy crowd around us. He brought his right hand up to my face and tilted my chin up while pressing his thumb lightly over my bloody bottom lip. He examined my lip carefully and removed his thumb from my lips only to bring it closer to his face. There was a little bit of blood on his thumb and I was unsure of what he was going to do; he was unreadable. I nearly moaned out loud when he slowly, sexily, brought his thumb into his perfect lips, sucking lightly and closed his eyes in pleasure. When he opened his eyes, I gasped at his nearly black eyes staring at me dangerously.

"I told you to stop biting your lip, Clare," he groaned, his thumb brushing my bottom lip again.

"Why?" I asked shakily, wanting to know if he was as turned on as I was.

"Because I want to do that," he breathed out desperately before crashing his lips onto mine, sucking my bottom lip in between his teeth possessively.

* * *

Who's ready for some hot steamy chapters? I know I am! It's gonna get better from here, I promise. Not my longest chapter, but I'll make up for it next time.

If you're wondering about Fitz...you'll just have to wait and see, now won't you? Oh, and guess what? That was my first party scene ever! Hazahh! I have no experience with grinding on rock stars or party scenes. I'm kind of a freak. No pun intended. So hopefully I wrote it well enough, excuse any inaccuracy!

Until next Friday!

**WAZAM**


	6. The Red Room

I can't even...

This last episode of Degrassi left my heart deflated. I have no comments other than the obvious, but it doesn't stop my poor little heart from cracking a little bit. When Clare gets rejected, I feel rejected! So forgive me for the tardiness of the chapter, for I was trying to recooperate from the tragedy of these past few episodes. I need a happy episode now!

So guess what? I'm giving you a good chapter today! I don't know, I kind of like it and I hope you guys like the idea of this. Lemme know your thoughts! I love you, my devoted readers. You inflate my heart with your ever-inspiring reviews! I even made this chapter a little steamier, just to make up for my tardiness!

By the way, Happy Halloween everyone!

**Disclaimer:** I own a facebook account, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 6._

You know that feeling you get when you're free-falling on a roller-coaster for the first time? That surprising drop of your stomach that sends shudders up your spine and adrenaline takes over you?

Well, that's not what kissing Elijah Goldsworthy was like.

Having Eli suck on my lower lip slowly in synch with his thrusting hips did not come close to feeling like that. I didn't feel the adrenaline rush that I expected when he ran his fingers through my hair sensually as he grunted desperately, trying to relax me into submission. No, it was not as good as that feeling.

It was better.

In the same second his amazing taste penetrated my consciousness; I shot my hands up into his silky dark hair and tugged so that our lips were crashing together. Eli groaned in appreciation and tilted his head to get infinitely closer to my lips. I pulled myself into him as he licked my lips hotly. I gasped and he instantly pierced his tongue past my pink lips, angling my face so that he could lick and explore every inch of my mouth. He was panting and grunting as he moved his tongue gracefully with mine, making me whimper and moan in response.

Forget dancing, this was better.

Eli rubbed his cool palm up and down my back, liquid heat pooling in my lower belly as I moved to get closer to him. One of my legs slowly wrapped around his leg and we broke the kiss as we groaned in unison, the pleasure of our hips aligning to create a delicious friction only added to the heat in my belly. Eli threw his head back, his lips opened in a perfect 'o' and his eyes clenched, as he gripped my hips firmly and rubbed them against his. I flushed when I felt something hard throbbing against me, making me feel light-headed at the thought that _I _was the reason he was so turned on. It felt amazing to have his jean-clad arousal move against mine, the hem of my dress already scrunched up in his hands so that he could thrust against my underwear.

Usually, it would have revolted me that a man just wanted to take pleasure from the woman, only searching for their own release and not the other way around. But with Eli? As I watched his strong forearms twitch with effort as he rotated my hips sharply with his and his swollen lips and glazed eyes as he looked down at our hips, I understood why Alli always said I was wrong. Technically, I wasn't wrong; Eli was lost in his own pleasure, the beat of the music and the bodies around him beyond his train of thought. But when it came to Eli, I didn't care if he was selfish. He could take all the pleasure from me that he wanted if it meant watching him so wild like this, losing all rational thought because of _me_. Just the thought of him, the guy that girls would kill for, wanting me more than anyone else gave me all the pleasure I needed.

I heard him grunt, bringing my attention back to him. I pulled my chest up towards him and buried my face in his neck as my fingers raked themselves in his hair. He was panting wildly in my ear and I shuddered in pleasure. He was mumbling something incoherent and I couldn't understand, but I knew that he was coming to a boil. So I decided to get bold again; I moved my lips to his ear and brushed the shell lightly, making him shudder.

"Just let go, Eli. Lose control," I whispered, lightly licking his earlobe.

"Jesus _Christ, _Clare," he groaned lowly, his hips thrusting erratically now, faster.

I moaned softly as he hit a particular spot and the heat started to bubble and boil, threatening to burst when suddenly Eli cried out in pain, completely letting go of me. Alarmed, I unwound my leg from his and dropped down on my heels, searching his face. He had his hands on his back and he was hissing in pain; I assumed someone had hit his wound really badly because he was in so much pain, I wished that I could help him. Eli calmed down and turned around to face his offender. Fitz was smirking darkly behind him, a freakishly drunk looking girl tucked into his side sluggishly.

"Oh sorry about that man, did I interrupt?" Fitz mocked.

I heard Eli growl and his fists clench. "What the _fuck_ was that for?"

I gasped. I've never heard him curse outside of his songs, and it felt strangely...attractive.

"Just wanted to let you know I'm gonna be getting back late. So don't wait up, goldilocks," Fitz said smugly, looking at me suddenly.

"I don't care what the hell you do," Eli replied darkly. He followed Fitz's eyes and turned back to me, his eyes almost completely black. Eli looked back at Fitz and locked their gazes, having a silent and tense conversation that I could not understand.

"Babyyyy, let's go already," the girl slurred, tugging on Fitz's arm.

Fitz grunted and left the dance floor, giving me a lingering look that made me shudder. Eli turned back to me and I could see that our moment was over. He sighed and placed his hand on his back again. I looked at him in worry and didn't know if I should approach the situation or not.

"That dude's a menace," Eli ground out, his eyes wild and dark.

I frowned sympathetically and touched his shoulder gently. "Come on, I'll inspect the bruise," I said, making my way out of the crowd of frenzied dancers.

Then, he grabbed my hand and spun me back. He wrapped his arms around me and looked down at me hazily. "Forget the bruise," he smirked tiredly, leaning down to kiss me again. I giggled and smiled at his lightness and closed my eyes, waiting for his sweet lips to connect with mine when-

"Clare, let's go already! My feet are tired," Alli whined, pushing me out of Eli's hold.

Dammit Alli!

Drew came up behind Eli and smacked his shoulders lightly, smiling sympathetically at him. "Tried to stop her, man," he said, laughing when Eli pouted towards me.

"Yeah okay, Alli. Can you take us back to the hotel now?" I asked Eli.

Eli nodded and looked back at Drew. "Let's go find Adam and get out of here."

**oooooooooo**

It was 3:23 AM and all of the overwhelming situations that happened today were finally crashing down on me. The private jet, the Four Seasons, the concert, Morty, Eli backstage almost kissing me, the paparazzi, the party, Adam's information, Eli's hot little vampire kiss...I couldn't help but cross my legs as I remembered how hot he made me feel. So now, Eli, Adam, Drew, Alli, and I were in the limousine on our way back to the hotel, all of us tired from all the dancing and concert.

"Hey guys, where's Fitz?" Drew asked, looking around the limo.

Eli grit his teeth and crossed his arms, glaring at the window. "I don't care, he can do whatever the hell he wants. It doesn't concern me," he growled.

Adam sighed and ruffled his hair. "Eli, you know we have to get along if we want to keep this band together. Would you stop pushing his buttons?"

I bit my lip and looked at Eli curiously. What was going on?

"Yeah, yeah. Maybe he'll cool off tomorrow," he replied gruffly, rubbing his lower back softly.

Drew looked at Adam again, still wanting an answer. Adam sighed exasperatedly. "Fitz went off with some girl, Drew! God, do I have to spell out everything?"

Drew dropped his jaw and then punched him on the arm. "Hey! You gave me no information to go on there, bro," Drew laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Alli had her arm linked with mine as she rested her head on mine sluggishly, obviously tired. Just then, she picked up her head in alert. "Whoa wait...where are we going?"

"Uh, back to the hotel?" I replied, confused by her weird question.

"No we're not," Eli said, looking as calm as ever.

I scrunched my eyebrows together and tilted my head in confusion. "Then, where are we going?"

"Our summer house," Adam grinned, excited that the secret was finally out.

"Summer house? Oh my god, you guys have a summer guys here in Toronto?" Alli exclaimed, jumping in her seat.

"For sure, we can't just stay at hotels here anymore. We've gotten some pretty bad experiences, heh," Drew chuckled, leaning back in his seat.

I looked out the window and noticed that the city lights were gone and we were following a dirt trail with nothing to look at but trees.

"And our things...?"

"They're already back at the house," Eli smirked, obviously enjoying my lost expression.

I glared playfully. "You paid a night at the Four Seasons hotel just for your cover-up? Smooth."

Eli shrugged and pursed his lips, flashing me a cheeky grin. Then, the limo stopped and we got out of the limousine. When I looked up at the illuminated house, my jaw dropped. A stone path led to a wide, two-story house made up of dark brick and smooth glass that lit up the dark sky. The house's architecture was sharp and modern, and everything looked warm and homey despite its modern feel. I don't think I have ever seen such a big house in my entire life.

"Oh my god, this is just your _summer _house? Drew, give me a tour!" Alli squealed, taking Drew's hand and running to the front door, her earlier sleepiness instantly melting away.

"God, is she always like that?" Adam asked, scowling playfully.

I nudged him with my elbow and glared. "Hey, that's my best friend we're talking about...and yes, yes she is," I laughed.

The two boys and I walked towards the front door as several men walked ahead with our bags. When I walked inside, the glamour absolutely stunned me. The house was incredible! It had spiral stairs, fireplaces, beautiful dark furniture, large fish tanks throughout, spotlights illuminating the artwork from the floor, an indoor pool, two kitchens, five large screen televisions on the first floor alone, a recording room, practice rooms, arcade rooms, fifteen bedrooms, seventeen bathrooms, two garages, and a bunch of other rooms that I couldn't wait to open!

Adam walked in and dropped his bag on the living room couch, dropping on it and laying down. "Man, what a day," Adam sighed, closing his eyes.

"Tell me about it," I replied, sneaking a glance at Eli, who was currently in the kitchen grabbing some waters.

Alli came down and tugged my hand. "Come on, let's go pick a room! Drew said we could choose whichever room we wanted," she said, pulling me up the stairs.

The rooms were colorful, modern, and completely unique. Each room had a theme, like Drew's room was brown and had a lot of leather and fur in it and Adam's was green and had the feel of a cabin. We tried out every single bed in the house until we came to a turquoise colored room that had fish tanks and a really big window overseeing the city. We started to unpack our things and went ahead and changed into our pajamas. I really didn't know that we were gonna be in a house full of rock stars so I didn't think I would have to dress up for sleeping...I just brought some blue pajama shorts with cartoon giraffes and a big t-shirt that KC had given me once. I don't like to remember KC after what he did to me, but this shirt was pretty comfortable so I wore it anyway. Alli brought some pink short shorts and a spaghetti strap pajama shirt. I pouted jealously. Really? Is she trying to make me look bad?

"So Clare, I noticed that you and Eli were getting pretty cozy at the party," Alli said slyly.

I blushed and hid my face from her. "Shut up, Alli!"

"Clare, you have to tell me everything! I didn't get to see anything, but I know something happened! He hasn't stopped looking at you since we left the party," she said, sitting down on the bed.

I walked around to connect my phone to its charger and smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah really!" Alli exclaimed, laughing at my oblivious-ness.

Then we heard a knock, and Eli came up and leaned on the door frame, his arms crossed.

"Everything to your liking?" he asked, a small grin on his face.

"Yes, thank you so much for letting us stay here with you," I smiled, turning to face him.

He was still in his clothes, but he was wearing some blue slippers, which I thought was incredibly adorable.

"No problem at all. Are you guys hungry or anything? I can get you something if you are," he suggested.

"I think we're good. Thanks," Alli smiled curtly, just wanting to get to me and my details. Great.

Eli gave a nod, the blue light of the fish tanks illuminating his jaw line and giving it much more depth. I realized that I had a new love for staring at his perfect jaw line... "Alright then. We'll be here if you need anything and I'll see you in the morning. Good night, ladies," he smirked, his eyes lingering on me.

I blushed and bit my lip, watching as his eyes darkened a fraction.

"'Night."

**ooooooooooo**

It was 4:14 AM and I still couldn't go to sleep. I turned around in the large bed and saw that Alli was still sleeping peacefully on her side. I sighed and looked back up at the ceiling, playing with my hair. I guess it was just the thought that Eli was a few rooms away that kept me up. It's just...my goodness, we were sleeping in the same house as the biggest rock stars of the century! How could I sleep at all with that fact in my head? There was this urge that told me that I should go knock on his door the entire time, not wanting to be separated from him. It was a really weird feeling, but I couldn't get it off! I didn't like feeling this anxious to see him. I wondered if Eli felt the same way...

I gave up and got out of the bed, making sure not to wake Alli as I slipped on my purple pluff slippers and snuck out of the door. The house was quiet out in the hallway and the moonlight illuminated the empty house as I walked soundlessly. I couldn't help but pause when I got in front of Eli's room. I faced the door and put my hand on it lightly, trying to hear anything. I had always wanted to see what Eli looked like when he slept, he probably looked absolutely adorable. I stilled my breathing and tried to hear if there was anything coming from inside, but I heard nothing. He's still asleep, probably. I sighed and went down to the kitchen to get some water. I froze when I saw a small light in the kitchen and heard the padding of bare feet.

I didn't know who it was, but I immediately wanted to turn back. Just as I turned on my heels, I heard a voice.

"Anyone there?" it was Eli.

I blushed and hesitantly stepped into the dimly lit kitchen, looking down at my feet as I stood behind the tall counter.

"Blue eyes? Why are you still up?" Eli asked softly, hearing his feet move closer to me.

I looked up at him by the time he was already behind the counter and my breath got caught in my throat when I got a good look at him. He was wearing dark blue pj pants that were a bit long and he was shirtless. He was _freaking _shirtless! I practically drooled when I trailed my eyes up his toned upper torso, not completely built but he was still fit enough to make me go into frenzy. His hair was slightly tousled and he looked so casual, I wanted to faint! Was it weird that I practically moaned at the fact that he was still wearing his silver rings and thick wristbands even if he was half naked? God, I had issues...

I shifted my weight to my right foot when I noticed that he was doing the same thing that I was. I watched as his eyes trailed up my body, not even trying to hide it. I saw him gulp inaudibly, his Adam's apple bobbing, when he finally reached my face. I wished that I could have borrowed some of Alli's much more attractive pajamas, but by his expression, I wasn't completely hideous. The air crackled with the same tension that filled the room like when I went up on the stage with him in the concert.

"I couldn't sleep," I whispered, holding onto the tall chair next to me for support.

He nodded in understanding and smiled slightly. "Do you want a glass of milk or something? It usually helps me go to sleep," he asked.

I nodded and smiled, following him to the other side of the kitchen where the refrigerator was. I noticed that there was a plate with a half eaten apple cheesecake on the counter with a Batman cup filled with milk. I giggled, which caused him to turn around.

"What?" he asked as he handed me a glass of milk.

"So, a Batman cup, hmm?" I teased, holding back a laugh.

He looked at the cup and smirked. "Batman's the best! Don't go mocking his awesomeness," he defended, taking the Batman cup and drinking some of his milk.

I laughed and got his fork, cut a piece of the cheesecake, and popped it in my mouth playfully. He gasped and took the fork from my grasp, holding on to it lovingly.

"Is that why you came down here? To make fun of my Batman cup and steal my cheesecake? How dare you, blue eyes! After all we've been through," he accused, taking a bite of the cheesecake challengingly.

I giggled and took the glass of milk in my hands and sipped it. "So why are you up anyway? Couldn't sleep either?"

"Ehh, sort of. I usually don't sleep very well, but today was a little worse. Stupid Fitz really hurt my back and I couldn't really get comfortable so I came down and thought cheesecake and Batman would ease my mind a bit," Eli said, forking a piece of cheesecake and bringing it to my lips.

I blushed and opened my lips, allowing him to feed me. I closed my eyes and hummed as I chewed, the flavor was absolutely delicious. I opened my eyes and noticed that he was smiling sheepishly, looking down at his cheesecake.

"Lemme see your back, maybe I can help," I suggested.

"You're not going to harass me, are you?" he teased.

I raised my eyebrow and giggled as he turned around and hunched over lightly so that I could inspect his lower back. I came closer to him and touched the red skin slightly, frowning. "It's a little darker than it was at the concert. What the heck did Fitz do?"

"I don't know, but it really hurts," Eli groaned.

"Do you want me to give you a back massage? I always used to give my older sister massages," I suggested, really just wanting an excuse to touch his beautiful skin.

He turned around and raised his eyebrows. He looked up at the clock. "A back massage at 4 AM? Don't worry about it, blue eyes. I'm sure it'll go down," he responded.

"I promise I don't mind, I'm not even tired. You can give me some of that Icy Hot as oil and it'll help you sleep," I urged, lifting an eyebrow curiously.

He tapped his index finger on his chin and thought about it, before smirking slyly. "A free massage from the cheesecake stealer? How can I say no? You'll just steal more of my cheesecake."

I giggled as he led me upstairs. I couldn't help but stare as I walked behind him, his back muscles moving and twitching as he walked. My heart started to pound when we stopped in front of his room. He opened his door and stepped aside so I could go forward, but I merely stared. We were going to be in Eli's room, with no interruptions this time, and no turning back.

My mother would kill me.

"Scared to go into the dragon's lair, blue eyes?" he challenged.

I smirked, lifted my chin and walked in confidently, hearing him chuckle as I entered. When he closed the door, everything was dark except for the moonlight, until he turned on his lamp light. As I looked around, I smiled because the room was completely Eli's. His walls were a maroon red that were covered with records and awards he had received, along with several dark posters. He had a large bed in the center that was framed by a dark wood and covered in satin sheets. He had a large wooden desk with a flat-screen computer and a huge stereo system that connected to the walls. The room was a little messy with sheet music on the floor and three guitars lazily placed on the ground along with several picks and socks, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I smiled to myself, thinking that I really just wanted to grab something, anything so that I could keep it and hold onto it forever. God, I was such a stalker...

He went into his bathroom momentarily and then came back with the same cream that he had handed to me at the concert. I took it from his hands and smiled.

"So, how do we do this, my little masseuse?" Eli smiled, the dim light framing his face sharply.

I looked at the bed. "Go lie down on the bed on your stomach," I ordered.

"Oh, kinky, Miss Edwards," he teased, moving to go lie down on the bed.

I blushed at his comment and watched as he crawled to the center of the bed, grabbed one of his red pillows and lied down, his body long and gorgeous. His legs were a little separated and his arms were placed on his sides. I wanted to lick him all over...I shook the thought and moved to the bed, crawling next to him. He looked at me from his lying position and watched as I squeezed some of the cream onto my hands and rubbed them together.

"Just relax, and tell me if I hurt you, okay?" I told him.

He nodded and closed his eyes, waiting for my hands to begin. I took a deep breath and slid my hands up and down his back, spreading the cream around his back. I heard him hum in pleasure as I slid my hands smoothly and rhythmically up his back to his neck, his shoulders, and back down the line of his spine fluidly. I stopped the cycle to put more cream on his lower back and heard him whimper slightly at the loss. Smooth, I rubbed my hands over his neck, my hands working cohesively as I rubbed the sides up and down, using pressure to knead the knots at the base of his neck. Then I moved to his shoulders, smoothly pressing and pulling his tense muscles until they loosened under my touch.

"Oh my god, Clare, your hands are like magic," Eli rasped, burying his face in the pillow.

I smiled smugly as my thumbs kneaded his back muscles smoothly, knowing exactly where to touch to relax and pleasure. It felt amazing to have so much freedom over him like this. It felt like I had known him forever, I was so comfortable with him. I moved my fingers down as I rubbed in circles down, loving how his muscles twitched under my touch. When I reached his bruise, I got more cream and softly pressed my hands on it, making sure to rub extra softly. I heard him moan and I instantly removed my hands.

"I'm sorry, did that hurt?" I asked in panic.

"Don't stop, Clare," Eli commanded softly, moving his face to the side.

I felt a shudder run up my spine at his dominant voice and continued to work on his lower back. Then I realized that it was a little hard to massage his back when angling to one side. So I moved to straddle his waist, settling my weight onto him. He opened his eyes and looked up at me cockily.

"Wow, I didn't know you were so kinky, Miss Edwards," Eli teased, but the huskiness in his voice gave away what he was really feeling.

I raised my eyebrow seductively. "Is that a problem for you?"

Eli wiggled his eyebrows at me, "Not at all. Please proceed."

I smiled as he rested his head on the pillow again and I continued my ministrations. I rolled my hands and skillfully used my fingers as I moved around his back fluidly. I loved the small sounds of pleasure that would come from his lips when I touched a certain spot or moved a certain way, it was erotic. The friction of my hands on his back was making his skin hot and smooth, relaxing his muscles just like I had intended.

After about thirty minutes of kneading and rubbing, my fingers got a little tired. I slowly stopped my fingers and gave one last touch on his shoulders and removed them. When he didn't move, I blushed as I leaned my torso down and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his left shoulder. Even with the cream, he still tasted really good.

I was about to move back, a little embarrassed that I couldn't stop myself from doing that, when all of a sudden Eli maneuvered himself to twist and throw me down on the bed. I gasped when his hands firmly gripped my wrists above my head and straddled my hips. Before I could respond, his lips crashed into mine and started to kiss me wildly, passionately. The quick movement sent jolts down my spine as I responded back with fervor. I moaned into the kiss and moved my lips with just as much passion, wanting so badly to touch him. I moved my hands to touch him but his grip on my wrists only tightened as he lowered his body onto mine almost fully. My body buzzed with pleasure as his heat touched mine. I moaned into the kiss when I felt his erection for the second time that night, pressing hard and urgently against my thigh. He took the opportunity to move his tongue sensually into mine, fighting my tongue for dominance. The heat pooling in my lower abdomen was becoming unbearable, and I could only rub my legs together to try and stop the ache, to no avail.

Eli broke the kiss, both of us panting wildly. He didn't remove his lips from me for a second, however; his lips kissed my jaw line hotly, following up to my ear. He gave a long lick to my ear and panted, making me moan and arch my back to get closer to him.

"You have no idea how much that turned me on," Eli growled in my ear, nipping my earlobe gently.

I could only mewl in response, loving the unbearable pleasure that followed when he ran his lips down the length of my neck, sucking and licking occasionally. The feel of his body on mine, his hands binding mine, and his lips biting and kissing urgently only made me all the more desperate to feel his skin against mine. He moved his lips back up my neck until they returned back to my lips, not wasting any time and piercing his tongue into my lips. I moaned and thrust my hips up, smiling when I heard him groan at the friction. He thrust his hips in return, making me moan; he smirked in the kiss, obviously satisfied that he got me back for the teasing and continued to kiss me. That's when Eli's tongue started to thrust in and out of my mouth slowly, his hips following the same rhythm. I grunted and grinded my hips up, the thrusts of his tongue and hips picking up its pace.

_Holy hell, Elijah Goldsworthy was _fucking_ my mouth._

I was finally able to break away from his grip and I immediately moved my hands to his hair, smashing our lips further together. Then, Eli's kisses became less intense, making me whimper at the loss of heat. His tongue slowly, torturously, snaked out of my mouth, and his lips broke away from mine with the sound of suction being broken. We were panting harshly, our lips brushing as we struggled to regain our breathing. His hips stopped their thrusting and moved out my reach, making me whine softly. I opened my eyes slowly, the dim light of his lamp creating shadows on his pained face. He placed his hands on each side of my head as he pressed his forehead to mine, hearing him groan softly. My heart accelerated as anxiety started to kick in; I hated this lack of proximity, I wanted to run my hands in his hair and feel his strong hands all over me again.

"Sorry..." he panted, clenching his eyes shut.

I shook my head and placed my hands on his bare chest. "Eli?"

He opened his eyes and searched mine thoughtfully, his eyes barely controlled. "You make me do bad things, Edwards," he chuckled, dropping down next to me and stared up at the ceiling.

"Oh, so you're normally the perfect gentleman? I have yet to see that, Mr. Goldsworthy," I teased, still out of breath.

He scoffed and smirked, turning to lean on his side towards me. He reached for my right hand, toying with my _true love waits _ring. My heart dropped and I instantly regret bringing it. I had told Morty of my beliefs and my never-changing abstinence until marriage. I didn't want him to stop our make-out session just because of that...!

What has gotten over me? I had always believed in this ring until the very second his sinful lips touched my un-kissed lips. No, no! I do believe in it, true love does wait! I just got a little distracted, and I won't let it happen again. But then again, I wouldn't mind him doing it again...

"With you? I have to be. I'm doing everything backwards with you, but then again none of my life is ever done the normal way," he chuckled, his fingers caressing mine making my heart skip a beat.

"Just because I made a commitment to myself doesn't mean I can't find loopholes, you know..." I replied, and I instantly blushed. I can't believe I said that! He's going to think I'm just another one of his crazy fan girls! Well, I was...

He raised an eyebrow and smirked, his messy hair covering his eyes as he read the inscription on my ring.

"True love waits, huh?" he questioned. "Well, blue eyes, I guess there's only one loop hole to this, isn't there?"

I blinked in surprise at what he was implying and I pouted slightly as he looked up from his thick eyelashes and smirked devilishly.

"I'm going to make you fall in love with me."

_I already am_, a voice in my head said.

But it was a challenge. He's implying that I won't be able to resist and throw myself at him. Who is gonna crack first? It wasn't going to me! I accept.

"Not unless I make you fall in love with me first"

It's on, Elijah Goldsworthy.

* * *

Well? How was that? It's not any longer than my other chapters, but I definitely crammed in as much flirt and steam as I could. Ohhh trust me, these next few chapters will certainly please my lovely little readers. Forgive me for being late? Send me your love!

Umbrella part 2 better make up for this sad chapter! So I will start working now on the next chapter to avoid late updates. See you next Friday!

**WAZAM**


	7. Ghosts

**EARLY UPDATE!** Woot! Now as I said before, this week's episode BETTER make up for last week's tragic episode! Like, for reals man. I hated that he was being so dismissive of Clare and that he's kind of stuck with Julia a little bit. I know that in this episode, he's gonna go insane like in the promos. I just hope for all that is good in this world they MAKE UP! We've had like three rocky road episodes, where are the good times? I mean, in the Boiling Point there was like, what, three really fluffy eclare episodes? Then this season, only ONE good episode. The rest have been absolutely heartbreaking! COME ON ELI! BE A MAN! Ahem...I love them and I don't want them to break up so please put me out of my misery, teennick!

It has come to my attention that I haven't put their ages exactly. Well, here you go:

Eli: 19  
Adam: 18  
Drew: 19  
Fitz: 20

Clare: 18  
Alli: 18  
Fiona: 18

Yes, I will be putting in FADAM! Your responses and reviews have absolutely driven me crazy! Wow, I'm just 12 reviews shy of having 300 reviews! Never in my life have I ever thought I would reach 300, let alone 100! So I really want to take the time to tell each one of you that I read every review and take it into account, you really do spur me on. Thank you for the love! Oh and I just have to mention one of my most loyal reviewers, **verbal acuity. **She writes the most amazing reviews for every single chapter I've ever written and she's just so awesome! She has written so many amazing fanfictions and I totally admire her for her super hot and fluffy one-shots, and I love that she still finds the time to leave me a long little review. For reals, Kiri, you make me smile. :) I dedicate this chapter to you.

**Disclaimer:** I own Proxemics and gorgeous rock star Eli, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 7._

A loud beeping noise was interrupting my sleep.

I groaned and tried to block out the noise by snuggling closer to the oh-so-comfortable pillow I was resting on. My eyes immediately opened when I felt my pillow vibrate with a groan and move around. I opened my eyes and looked around groggily; well, this certainly wasn't the room Alli and I had chosen. I didn't see the turquoise blue walls or our bags thrown on the corner of the room. Then, did my eyes really adjust. The walls were dark red and were filled with vintage posters and autographed pictures and CD's. I gasped.

I was in Eli's room.

I looked down and noticed I had all of my clothes on. PHEW! With my new uncontrollable lust, I couldn't really trust my actions anymore. I bit my lip as I stared at the alarm clock that read 9:30, blinking and beeping. I unconsciously twisted and turned it off, finally relieved that the annoying sound was gone. Did Eli put the alarm last night? Wait...so did that mean that...? I slowly turned to the other side and felt shivers run up my spine when I saw Elijah Goldsworthy laying on his side, the covers falling weightlessly over his lower hips, leaning his messy head on his hand as he stared at me in amusement. Oh my god, he made me believe that there was more than one God out there. He looked like he could be the poster boy for...pretty much anything, because the boy was downright sexy. I blushed and groaned, burying my head in the pillow. This was so embarrassing! Had he been staring this entire time?

"Well, good morning to you too, blue eyes," Eli chuckled sarcastically, his voice deep from sleep.

I blushed even more when I heard his voice; it was so raw and beautiful. Only in my dreams did I ever imagine Elijah wishing me good morning in a raspy voice. I peeked at him from the pillow and smiled sheepishly as a grin spread on his lips, his eyes twinkling with amusement. I huffed and threw him my pillow, squealing and sitting up so that I could escape before he threw it back at me. I swung my legs over the bed, going to make a run for it, when Eli's strong arms quickly wrapped themselves around my waist and pulled me back sharply. I squealed and giggled as I was pulled under him, his arms and legs pinning me down to the mattress.

"Let me go!" I laughed, squirming around to loosen his grasp.

Eli laughed darkly and pressed his warm body over mine to completely pin me down and stop my squirming. As our laughter subsided, I couldn't help but look up into his pale face with awe. His bone structure was so perfect and I realized that I loved it when his hair was all over the place like this. He looked down at me and smirked cheekily, his eyes gazing down at my lips. I shivered under his gaze and parted my lips slightly, watching in awe as his face grew serious and his body heat rose slightly.

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

"Hey Eli, is Clare in there with you? Alli has been asking for her," Adam's muffled voice exclaimed, his voice curious.

Eli groaned in annoyance. "She's busy!" he replied, focusing his attention back to me, leaning down closer when-

"Elijah Goldsworthy, stop taking advantage of Clare and get your butt out here! We have a photo shoot and interview at 12:30, remember?" Adam yelled.

I laughed silently when Eli hung his head in defeat. "Way to kill my mojo, Adam!"

"What? I got your mojo back? Yeah, you're welcome! I know you keep me around for something!" Adam laughed, his footsteps fading away.

He picked up his head and smiled apologetically. "So...are you in love with me yet?" he asked, showing no intention of moving.

"I don't think so, pal," I scoffed playfully, pushing on his chest until he fell to his side next to me.

I swung my legs over the bed and successfully walked without having my legs turning into jelly. When I opened the door to his room, I looked back and wished I had my camera because Elijah Goldsworthy was full-on pouting. He was sitting upright, his shoulders a little hunched, and he was pouting and beckoning me back with his mesmerizing green eyes. I put my hands on my hips and shook my head.

"You may be a big rock star, but I still have integrity," I argued proudly.

"Really? This coming from the girl who has a picture of me on her cell phone and most probably all over her room?" Eli teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

I blushed and stomped my foot. "That's different!"

"No it's not. So pleeeeease? Just one kiss?"

I was tempted, really I was. He just looked so edible right now...

"Are you in love with me yet?"

"I won't give in, Edwards!"

"Are we in a relationship?"

"...Do you want to be?"

"Ehm...d-don't change the subject."

"No, we're not in a relationship..."

"Then no! You cannot have a kiss," I stated, smiling sweetly and turned on my heels to leave when I accidently stepped on something crumbly.

I looked down and jumped when I realized that I had stepped on one of Eli's scribbled sheet music. I gasped and bent down to retrieve it, trying to straighten it back out. I heard the sheets shuffle and knew he was coming over to me. I panicked when I accidently stepped on another one, picking it up and fixing it also. I heard Eli chuckle as he came in front of me, grabbing the papers from my hands.

I just couldn't stop being awkward for one minute, could I?

"Don't worry about it, they were just rough sketches," he said, showing me the harsh eraser marks and light handwritten lyrics on the sheet music.

I laughed and got one from him, reading his neatly written poems. The words were beautiful, expressing the enormity of the emotions of someone picking up the pieces of a lost lover. I looked up at him in awe, watching as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly. I looked back at the lyrics and my heart swelled as the song grew from nostalgia to peace and a hint of love again.

"This is beautiful, Eli. When did you write this?" I asked.

"Last night, right before I went for some cheesecake and had the best massage of all time," he smiled, grabbing the sheet music from me and reading it over. "I don't know, I've been wanting to write something like that for a while."

I smiled at his sincerity and wondered how he could possibly be labeled as cold. Then, I remembered what Adam told me. He said something about Eli opening up to his inspiration...

"What's your inspiration?" I asked quietly.

The room was silent.

"I dunno, it's just in my head I guess," Eli replied grimly.

I knew he was hiding something, but I didn't want to push him. I was already getting enough trust as it is. I felt guilty for bringing it up. Then, he looked up at me with wide eyes and a gleaming smile.

"Would you like to hear it? Later, I mean," he asked, excitement in his voice.

"I'd love to," I smiled, my heart melting at the trust he had for me.

"But see the thing is, I kind of meant for this to be a duet..." he started, avoiding my eyes. "And well, I already had a voice in mind for this..."

_Oh. My. God. He is not implying that he wants me to sing with him!_

"Who?" I asked.

"Jay-Z."

**_EPIC FAIL! _**I yelled miserably in my head.

"Oh."

Eli erupted in a fit of laughter, throwing his head back. "I'm just kidding, Clare! I wanted a duet with a girl, someone whose name starts with a C and ends with LARE," Eli chuckled, looking at me meaningfully.

My heart skipped a beat and I wanted to hyperventilate.

"Are you messing with me, Elijah Goldsworthy?" I teased, the excitement giving away the coolness I tried to project.

"Ohh, I like it when you use my full name. It's sexy," he winked. "And I'm being totally serious. I actually talked to my manager about it, you know, JJ? He brought up the idea saying that the two of us could probably make a hit, and how could I say no to such a fantastic idea?"

I bit my lip and played with the hem of my loose t-shirt. "Eli, this is too much."

"No it's not, you really do deserve it. Your voice is so beautiful. It's practically a crime to have it hidden from the world," he said softly, making me blush.

"Well..." I blushed, trying to think of the pros and cons of this.

"Just say yes. Please?" he pouted, giving me the most irresistible puppy dog face I have ever seen in my life.

I smiled wide and looked down at my feet, embarrassed. "Yes."

Just as I took a few steps to the door, I heard his voice: "You'll come with us to the photo shoot, right, Clare?"

I looked back, watching as Eli walked over to his black and white signature Gibson and picked it up, looking at me expectantly.

"Perhaps," I replied smugly.

A warm smirk rose on his lips and he looked down shyly, playing with the strings of his guitar. "Alright then," he said softly, looking up at me through his thick lashes.

I smiled back and left the room before my primal mind decided to stay and let him ravage me. I heard some noises downstairs, but decided to get dressed first. As I walked back to my room, I couldn't believe that he had actually asked me to record a song for Proxemics with him. This never happens! Everything was going too smoothly, I almost felt like it was too smooth. I let the thought go and skipped down the hall, walking on Cloud Nine. I really started to think about what happened last night, too. I remember giving Eli the massage and then being attacked by his lips, and starting the challenge, but I don't remember anything else. I guess I was just so tired that my mind fogged and I couldn't remember. I really hope I didn't say anything stupid, or compromising. I blushed as I remembered how dominant he was, towering over me like he had longed for me all of his life.

However, like he said last night, nothing with him could ever be normal. I sighed as I watched my feet move one in front of the other. I know I was getting myself in way too deep with him, scared with the rapid escalating feelings I was developing for him. I have never felt such a strong connection with anybody, not even my only other boyfriend KC. It was almost overwhelming, the need that set inside of me whenever we were apart. Even now as I make my way towards my room, I can't help but want to go back. I know I can't, though. For my sake, I need to make this as normal as possible. I know that last night was a stupid mistake, what with the party and the massage. I was probably leading him on, giving him the signals that I was easy or that we could kiss even if we weren't together. That's not really what bothers me! Not at all, I mean I actually think it's kind of attractive, in a really weird way. It's just that...I know that he probably already had a bunch of famous girlfriends who are used to the very forward and modern relationship where they're already in each other's rooms the first two weeks. I wasn't like that.

I am slowly coming out of my religious shell, but I still want a traditional relationship. It doesn't matter, I could bend the rules for him because I knew that what I felt was not normal; but I at least want to see some sort of relationship progression before I let him kiss me. I want to know what his intentions are. I know for a fact that he does not just want me for my physique because we spent more than two years deprived of that and still managed to develop feelings. I also know that if we were ever to be involved in a relationship, he would not be the stuck up Elijah Goldsworthy, he would be Eli: the sarcastic, funny, sweet, observant male who would protect me from anything. I just...needed to make sure that there was some sort of intention in him to move on. I wanted to make sure he did indeed want this, me. Then I could kiss him until I had no more breath in my lungs! And maybe something else...

I opened the door to my room and was instantly pulled in and shoved towards the bed. I gasped and brought my hands to my hands in shock, but then sighed when I found Alli, already dressed and ready, with her hands on her hips.

"Where have you been all night, missy?" she interrogated, tapping her foot.

_Mother Alli, _I thought in irony.

"I was with Eli last night...?" I replied, scared of her reaction.

She gasped violently and took my right hand in hers, inspecting it. I pulled it back and pet it lightly.

"You still have your purity ring, thank God!"

"Since when does my purity ring matter? You're always trying to convince me that I shouldn't wear it!"

"Yeah, you shouldn't."

"What? That makes no sense!"

"I would have been upset if you took off your purity ring before I taught you the proper methods of foreplay."

"Eww, Alli, that's gross."

"Foreplay with Eli is gross?"

"...No."

"Exactly."

_Gosh darn it, Alli! I hate you for being right!_

"Fine, I see your point," I huffed.

Alli smirked smugly and pulled me from the bed and to the bathroom vanity.

"Okay, so we're gonna go sit in on the Proxemics interview and photo session. Ah! I can't believe how lucky we are, Clare!" she squealed. "Will you please let me put together an outfit for you? Pleeeeease?"

I sighed and complied, knowing that she wouldn't stop until she got her way. I grabbed a pink towel and took a quick shower, then proceeded to style my curled hair. Alli came in and started to help me out. As she "dolled" me up, she told me all the fluffy details with Drew that had gone on, and I was really happy for her. She didn't really get to tell me much because she wanted to interrogate me further; I started to tell her everything that happened last night with as little detail as I could. Alli was ecstatic, of course, and sniffled when she said that I was growing up so fast. I rolled my eyes. I also told her about the song, and she was just as excited as I was. To my embarrassment, she had then proceeded to tell me a little bit about the male anatomy. Oh god, it was much worse than the sex talk I had with my mother a few years ago. Even though I was extremely embarrassed, I made sure to store all of the information so that I could use it later. She had also helped me to come up with a full-proof plan to make sure that I didn't fall for him first. Or at least, not show him that I did.

In the end, the two of us looked totally doable. Alli was wearing one of her high waist colorful skirts and a black tank top with light cardigan and some heels. I thanked every deity that I had decided to pack an extra change of nice clothes rather than the t-shirt I planned to wear back home; I wore an emerald green summer dress that flowed and fall to my thighs with some flats. Alli wanted me to wear heels, but I knew that when heels and I paired along for so long, disaster ensued. Once we were ready, we got all our purses and checked our phones for any missed calls and had none. So we walked out of the room nice and shiny at about 10:15 AM, ready to eat some breakfast and go with the boys to their photo shoot and interview.

When we walked downstairs, the three boys whistled and hollered at our appearance. Ugh, boys. The chief of the house made us all some chocolate chip pancakes with some bacon and toast, which filled me up completely.

"So I don't want to bring this up but uh...Fitz?" Drew asked cautiously.

"I called him up, he's already on his way to the scene," Eli replied coldly, not looking up from his pancakes.

"Okay, I guess that's cool. Oh and Clare, was Eli taking advantage of you this morning?" Adam asked teasingly, taking a bite of his toast.

Eli choked on his juice and I bit my lip softly.

"Adam, really? Really?" Eli coughed, glaring daggers at him.

"What, it was just a question!" Adam defended, making the whole table laugh.

**oooooooooo**

"Check the lighting!"

"Can we stand by for Proxemics?"

"Where's the magazine editor?"

"Clear the scene!"

We were in a large room with half of the room taken up by a white backdrop and really tall, weirdly shaped chairs. The rest of the room was filled with bustling crew members, directors, people on the phone, snack tables, papers, coffee, and Alli and I. We sat on a small couch near the scene watching as make-up artists played Dress Up Rockstar with the band in the mirror section. Fitz was here too, and I could tell there was tension between the band, but they managed to work it out a little. I was guessing that the theme of the photo shoot was going to be based on their new album, like Adam had told me in the limo ride, that was going to be called _Odd Room_.

The boys were all synchronized with modern black military jackets and pants; each jacket had its own metallic silver design, but Eli's was the only one in gold. It was simple, but powerful. The make-up done was subtle, but the way the make-up artists shaded dark shadows around their eyes made them seem dangerous, dark, almost like a vampire. _Especially _Eli. Oh dear Lord, it's like he knew I had a vampire fetish. I suddenly had raging dreams of our bodies pressed together, my back arched dramatically and my neck extended as he dipped his head down to touch his cold lips to my slender neck...

Not in public, Clare.

I shook my head and looked back at the boys who were just about ready to take pictures for their new album. The album hasn't been released to the public yet because the songs were still being put together for it, but Recording Buzz was going to include an article that released their new album information. Recording Buzz was the biggest rock magazine in the world, and they were going to end the rumors and write about the band and the new album release date. Speaking of which, the editor of the magazine came up to the band.

"Hey guys, I'm Rick Paul, editor of Recording Buzz magazine. It is an honor to meet you guys," he announced, shaking each of their hands firmly. "My best journalist is gonna be here to interview you as a group, Jackie McKey. I'm sure you're familiar with her, she has interviewed you before."

"Oh yeah, Jackie. She's cool," Drew nodded.

Then, the photographer came up to them.

"Okay, guys. We're gonna start the shoot now. Then right after you're gonna have the interview. So let's get started," he smiled, leading them to the white dropped area.

The speakers buzzed and boomed as a stealthy beat started to play, making Alli and I jump up from our seats at the sudden burst. A solo electric guitar joined into the beat and instantly gave me chills. The two of us squealed and moved our heads with the beat, enjoying the new sound. The boys of the band passed us and chuckled, amused by our reaction to the song.

"What song is this? It's awesome," Alli said, moving her head to the beat.

"It's one of our new songs that's gonna be in our album. It's called Continuum," Drew replied, winking at her.

Suddenly, I saw a flash and heard a click in front of my eyes. I stopped and looked around, only to find Eli holding his phone in front of him, smirking and chuckling as he moved some buttons on his phone. I flushed in embarrassment and went to take it from him, but he was too tall!

"It's only fair that I have a picture of you dancing since you have one of mine dancing," Eli teased, showing me his new wallpaper.

He stuffed it in his pocket, smirked in victory, and went with the others to the set. I scowled and sat back down, watching as the photographer started to set them up on the chairs. They sat in the tall chairs, with Eli in the center and the boys on each side of him. I couldn't help but stare at Eli as he listened attentively to the photographer's instructions. He was just so hot...

"Okay, Adam and Fitz, can you turn your heads a little bit. Yeah, like that. Hold it," the photographer said, angling his pictures as the boys went from loud, bubbly boys to dangerous, insanely sexy men.

I side glanced at Alli as she took out her phone and started to take pictures, giggling silently. I whispered for her to give them to me later, to which she nodded in excitement.

"Elijah, scoot forward now. lean on your legs and hold your hands. That's it," he instructed, taking the camera to the tripod as he took pictures.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him throughout the entire shoot. I had finally gotten my wish; ogle and stare at Elijah during a photo shoot with no interruptions or embarrassments. He would change his pose subtly, professionally, going from casual to twisted. His eyes held a fire and determination that made his eyes stand out and pierce through the camera. Twice, our eyes met. I'm pretty sure I almost died.

"Now could we do standing, please?" the photographer yelled over the loud music.

The boys stood up and posed, hands in their pockets and crooked smirks displaying. My stomach dropped when Eli dragged his eyes to mine, that smirk being the reason I was attracted to him in the first place. I sighed softly, taking out my phone when I heard it vibrate. My eyes widened when I saw 'Mom' on the screen.

"Alli!" I called, showing her my phone.

Alli's eyes widened and she looked around quickly for an exit but found none. "You're gonna have to answer!"

"With this music?" I screeched softly. I stood up and ran to the nearest door, which ended up being the door to an empty hallway. The music instantly dimmed and I was grateful. I pressed the green button and felt my heart pound as I held the phone to my ear.

"Hey mom," I said casually, trying to calm my breathing.

"Hi honey, how are you? Is everything fine at home?" my mother's voice asked.

"Yeah everything is fine over here, how are you?" I asked.

I heard her sigh, voices in the background. "Progressing. I just wanted to check in before I went in to an appointment with your father. Are you okay by yourself?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Alli has been keeping me company," I replied, slightly bummed about my mother's situation.

"Okay, baby. Call me if anything comes up. I love you," she sighed.

"I love you too, mom. Bye," I hung up and put it in my pocket.

As I turned to go back in, a cryptic body pushed me and pinned me to the wall. I gasped in panic, knowing that this was certainly not Eli. He did have the intoxicating smell of pine and mint, rather a sickening scent; and his movements were not sweet at all, almost threatening. I looked up at the invaders face and gasped when I saw Fitz's shady face.

"What do you think you're doing?" Fitz growled, lowering his face to mine.

I squirmed to get out of his grasp. "What the hell is your problem? Get off of me!" I yelled but the pounding music in the other room muted my voice.

"You're my problem. If you keep getting in too deep with emo boy, you're going to regret it," he hissed, pushing me harshly against the wall again.

"What are you talking about?" I screeched angrily.

"Emo boy has a lot of dark little secrets that I'm sure will compromise everything. So if you don't start backing off, I'm going to have to reveal them. And trust me, it won't be pretty," Fitz grinned, darkly as his grip on my wrists tightened painfully.

"Why would you do that? I haven't even done anything to you!" I panted, desperate to get out of his grasp.

"I have my reasons," Fitz replied casually.

I scowled and stomped on his foot. "Well I don't believe you, so get off of me!"

Surprisingly, he backed off, his gaze lingering. "Fine, just wait and see. You think he's all perfect and open with you, but you'll see that his ghosts are going to come back to haunt you," he said mysteriously. "And if you tell anyone about this, you won't like the consequences, little princess," he threatened before barging back into the loud room.

I gasped and rubbed my wrists soothingly. What does that mean? Should I really believe him? Should I actually feel threatened by this? I didn't know what he was capable of, nor did I really want to find out; but then I thought of Eli and the spark we had and knew that I wouldn't give it up without a fight. If there was something to be concerned about, he would have told me. Right? I shook my head and took a deep breath, composing myself as I walked back into the room cautiously. Fitz was back with the band, sitting down in their chairs on the set as the journalist set up a recorder and some papers for the interview. I walked back to Alli quickly, not wanting to face them right now.

"Well?" Alli urged as I sat next to her.

"Nothing to report," I merely replied, my eyes focused on the band.

I felt Alli staring at me, wondering whether to ask or not. She knew me better by now, and did not ask. When I heard the entire room silence, Alli looked at the band as well and left the questions for later. The interview was starting, and I tried to focus on Eli.

"**So we are here with the Proxemics group, Elijah Goldsworthy, Mark "Fitz" Fitzgerald, Adam Torres, and Drew Torres. First, you're about to end your first tour, how is that going?**" the journalist asked.

"Thank you, we've had a lot of fun going on tour. We started off in the United States and are about to end our tour with one last concert in north Canada, and I think I can speak for everyone when I say that this has definitely been a high-light of our career: performing to such encouraging crowds and meeting our fans. We really do love it," Eli started, speaking fluently and confidently. It was kind of a turn-on...

"I have to agree, it's an amazing feeling when you're up on the stage and people are singing the lyrics, _our _lyrics. It's surreal, we never thought we would get this far, but our fans have really kept us going," Adam said, nodding with the band.

"**Well congratulations on the tour and on your upcoming album! Tell us a little bit out this new album.**"

"Well it's going to be called the _Odd Room, _and it's going to be a little different than our last two albums. This one is slightly wilder, but still a little softer than our last two so we think it's going to be a good balance. We already have most of the songs done, but we are still in the process of putting everything together," Eli explained.

"**So what's the inspiration to this new album?**"

"The rhythm and guitar have always been presently inspirational to the songs, so we wanted to incorporate that a little more in this album," Drew started.

"Our inspiration has always been about the crazy and erratic moments of our pasts, but we're also going to bring in the present and what's going on now," Adam added.

"**Your fame is increasing extremely fast, do you think this is putting on a bit of pressure to your music?**"

"Not at all, we've always found a way to keep ourselves grounded," Fitz joined. I had to bite my tongue from saying anything, wanting to punch him in the face.

"I think that because all four of us had a regular childhood, we are able to see our success for what it is rather than by luck or money. We have made it a point to build our fame and reputation using soul and music rather than empty music so that we could have fun doing it and not get stuck on the pressures," Eli said, leaning back on his chair while the others nodded in response.

"**Adam and Drew, you two are brothers, correct?**"

"Yes ma'am," they replied in unison.

"**How does it feel to be in a band together?**"

"Well, we've done everything together, you know? We're only one year apart so it was almost like we were best friends our entire lives," Adam commented, smiling at his brother.

"Yeah, and who better to trust in your band than your own brother?" Drew teased playfully, smiling back.

"**Speaking of trust, with fame there's the price of rumors. Have rumors ever come between the band?**"

"Why don't you ask Elijah that," Fitz said, crossing his arms and smirking darkly.

The tension grew thick as Eli turned and stared at him wide-eyed, in disbelief.

"**I see, the leader of the band has to be the center of the rumors. Would you share one of these rumors with us?**"

"Yeah, like that rumor about your little fan on the stage last night," Fitz added, obviously hitting him where it hurt.

I watched as Eli tried to keep his control in check, obviously taking note of how the situation was starting to spiral down. I bit my lip as I watched as the other two boys watched the scene in disbelief.

"What about her?" Eli snapped at Fitz, glaring slightly.

"Why don't you tell our fans about the duet you want to do with her for our new album?" he asked calmly, his lips twisting up knowingly.

My eyes widened, as did his.

"**There are plans of a duet with the girl you sang with last night? Who was that?**"

"No one, she was just a girl I chose randomly. She and her friend had backstage passes so I thought it would be a good choice if I asked her to come up," Eli grit, his breathing picking up slightly.

"**How did you know she was a good singer then?**"

I watched in disgust as Fitz grinned widely, taking amusement in Eli's uncomfortable position.

"Good guess," Eli merely stated. My heart clenched at the indifference in his voice. I knew he was protecting me, but it still hurt.

"**Oh, so are you going to be asking her to sing a duet with you for the album?**"

"It was just a suggestion, the band and I haven't decided yet," Eli said sharply.

"She's just a fan after all, right Eli? I bet she doesn't even want to fit the job qualifications," Fitz mocked, his eyes staring into mine.

"**This situation sounds a lot like one that happened a year ago with another girl that was a really big fan. There were a lot of rumors that you had recorded a song with her. Whatever happened to that story?**"

I felt my stomach drop and my face drain color. There was...someone else like me?

"Those were just rumors," Adam said quickly, trying to break the grim tension.

"No they weren't," Fitz quirked.

Eli's control was slipping in front of the curious reporter, I could see it. He was glaring murderously at Fitz, a glare that would send anyone cowering to a corner.

"There's not much to say about this, it's an old story that didn't happen. End of story," Eli said, his voice an octave lower, making the reporter even more interested.

I searched for Alli's hand and gripped it, feeling my eyes water and my heart clench painfully. Fitz was right; I wasn't going to like the truth. In those two years, Morty did not tell me much of his real life. When I met Eli, I forgot that I didn't know all that much about him. We clicked so well that I just forgot that I was really talking with a total stranger, kissing a total stranger! If Fitz was right about this, then...what were Eli's ghosts? Apparently they involved another girl. I choked back a dry sob. It would have been fine if there was another girl in the past, but not with the same situation as me.

_Did he meet her on IM, too? _

"No, I remember you two wrote a song together, didn't you? What was her name again?" Fitz asked, tapping his chin as if in thought.

_Am I just prey to a sick, twisted game of his? _

"It's not important...!" Eli grit out, his knuckles turning the color of the backdrop.

_Am I only girl number two of more girls he wanted to seduce?_

"Oh that's right I remember now! Her name was-" Fitz exclaimed.

_Did all of these feelings mean nothing to him?_

Eli snapped his head in my direction, his frantic eyes searching my pale ones. The final nail to the coffin.

_Did I...mean nothing to him?_

"-Julia."

* * *

Oh snap! Now we're getting somewhere! Sorry I had to end it this way, I think it's time angst came into the scene. I needed to balance the excessive fluff I've had, even though I know you love it. I also apologize if the chapter was a bit slow, this serves as a transition chapter. I put on a lot of information for you guys. I have so many great ideas for this, you have no idea! No one has yet to take my theory, and I hope I can beat everyone to it if you're thinking it!

So, because you got an early update, unfortunatley my next update will not be this Friday, but next Friday. I promise it will be long and filled with lots and lots of drama, so don't you worry! Send me love!

**WAZAM**


	8. Foot in the Door

So I was going to wait to post this on Friday, but I just couldn't help it! This last episode of Degrassi really gave my fingers super strength and let me finish this monster chapter in three days! Umbrella Part 2 is the BEST episode of this entire SEASON! I literally squealed and jumped when Eli and Clare made up! AHH! It was the most beautiful speech I have ever heard, I'm so glad that she stuck with him even through all of that. Honestly, they need each other now more than ever. And Drew and Adam? Brotherly love was epic. Dave? Is a douche. Wesley is THE best friend anyone could ever have and he's an idiot if he doesn't recognize it. I loved this episode, it made my entire year. And now I can totally filter my happiness into my writing!

Too bad I left the last chapter with a few dilemas, neh? Forgive me, it will get better! Oh my, it's going to get a little crazy! Trust me, I know you'll love my twists and turns. Now, to address some concerns from my amazing reviewers:

1. What's going on with Fitz? What's his deal?  
I got a lot of reactions with Fitz and the absent hints of what will happen with him. I know that right now it probably makes no sense, but I will start to put in subtle hints here and there to the underlying problem.

2. You said steamy was coming, I don't see it!  
I know, I know! I did say there was going to be steamy, but you have to be patient, my fellow smut lovers! As the story progresses, so will the sexual tension, hint hint. Trust me, I'm too much of a smut lover to not put in as much sexual innuendos and teasing as I can. BUT! Later ;) Sooner than later, I promise!

3. Is there any possibility you can update twice a week instead of once a week?  
I am considering it, I really am. I'm not sure if I will be able to, but I can always try it out. As of right now, my surrounding environment has been very favorable and I have no big projects or studies until probably the end of January. However, I am not sure that I will be able to update twice a week because I tend to keep my chapters at around 5,000-6,000 words, and anyone who has ever written can probably understand how much time that takes. I am a fast writer, but it still takes me some time. The length is not what is at risk, though, it's the quality. When I put up a new chapter, it is because I am perfectly satisfied that all of my creativity and ideas have been written in the best way possible so that I can transmit emotions. If I update twice a week, it will be very hard to give the same thought. So I am still considering it.

4. Your regular updates are Fridays, the same day as the new episodes! Can't it be in the middle so that I can read this while waiting?  
Yes, that does make perfect sense. I think I'm going to make my regular updates Wednesdays, but I'll let you guys know. That way you can read about rock star Eli while you wait for beautiful disaster Eli on Degrassi!

**D****i****sclaimer:** I own a happily inflated heart, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 8._

As the oblivious journalist stood to leave the scene with her juicy record of the interview, the thick, malicious tension grew stronger. The pain I waited to come was swallowed momentarily by the murderous glare Eli held as he watched me start to break apart and was replaced by stinging shock. I choked back a sob as my body became paralyzed with the intensity of the hatred in Eli's eyes that I never even fathomed to be possible. Alli wrapped her arms around me and attempted to shield me from Eli as all eyes focused on him, the entire room silent. Why was he looking at me like that? His eyes were wide with uncontrollable panic, his breathing was heavy and erratic, the muscles in his neck and face were twitching tightly, and his entire body was so tense he looked like he would break apart. He was...terrifying. My God, why was he looking at me like he wanted to _kill_ me?

The reporter was long gone, and so was most of the crew. Now, there was nothing to hold him back.

"YOU _FUCKING_ PIECE OF CRAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Eli roared ferociously, standing up with inhuman speed and launching his body to Fitz.

Drew and Adam both jumped quickly and pulled on Eli's arms and back harshly, but not before Eli landed a solid punch on Fitz's jaw with an audible _CRACK! _The room filled with Fitz's maniacal laugh as he rolled to his side on the ground and clutched his dislocated jaw. I saw JJ come into the room, obviously having heard Eli's ear-shattering scream, and called some men to help him hold him back. Even with several men holding him back, Eli was still putting up a fight and trying to attack Fitz, grunting angrily.

"WE SAID WE WOULD BURY THIS! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? JULIA IS NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS!" Eli snarled in an animalistic manner, spitting out his words with venom as Fitz continued laughing crazily.

A spike of pain, the beat of my heart in my throat, and I could not take it anymore. I couldn't look at him fall apart because of someone else, someone that obviously meant more than I ever will. My arms shook as I held on to Alli's.

"Take me away. Please, Alli," I whispered, my voice cracking under the pressure.

Alli looked around frantically, helping me up, before walking me slowly to the hallway where I called my mother. When the commotion was gone, I broke down. I crashed into the wall next to me and sobbed, tears running down my cheeks freely. Alli quickly came to me and hugged me, rubbing my arms and whispering words of comfort to me.

I couldn't take it, this sickening feeling of jealousy and betrayal.

Jealousy, because of what could have been. I'm jealous of Julia, whoever she was, for being the first girl to be with Eli like I was; after all, I can only assume that when they said that she was in the same situation as I, I was only girl number two. I'm jealous that the warmth and sincerity I felt were empty shells of what she must have felt. Eli's voice was only the echo of whatever did happen with Julia, and I fell for it. Betrayal, on Eli's part and on mine. I felt betrayed that I actually considered pushing aside my vow and giving myself to him, in every sense of the word. My eighteen years of faithful worship was going to be thrown out for someone who I thought was real, when in reality I was going to throw it away for a stranger, a sick _monster _that played girls. I felt betrayed that someone as sweet as Eli, as _Morty_, would only want to play with my emotions.

What hurt the most was the thought that Eli was probably only trying to replace her with me, but any sort of relationship would not have worked. I felt betrayed that I had let myself seem vulnerable by playing the game, saying that I wasn't in love yet when he had no plans of actually falling in love with me himself.

"I don't want to see him, Alli. I can't," I cried, burying my face into her shoulder.

"I won't let that piece of shit ever get near you, Clare. I promise," Alli said strongly, rubbing my back calmly.

I lifted my head with a sharp breath, looking at my best friend's compassionate eyes. "D-Did you see the way he was l-looking at me? After everything! I-I thought that two years would have b-been enough to say I knew him, but I don't!" I cried desperately, hiccupping slightly. "I let myself fall for him, like the idiot I am. If I was thinking straight, I would have never let it get too far. What was I thinking? He feels nothing for me. He's just an act, like every part of his life."

Alli narrowed her eyes and held onto my shoulders. "Even after what happened, I can't let you say that he felt nothing for you because you and I both know that it's a lie," she told me sharply.

My eyes widened as more tears ran down my cheeks. "Then why would he do this to me? That Julia girl...I'm just her replacement," I said softly, not even wanting to hear myself say it.

"I don't know who Julia is or what happened before, but what you two have is not an act. I've never seen you so open and happy, not even with KC," Alli started.

"So what, you're taking his side now?" I asked frantically, wanting to crawl to a corner.

"I would never take his side!" Alli replied angrily. "Even though the connection between the two of you was so strong, he is too messed up to even realize it. He is sick, twisted! You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened because you've been nothing but honest with him. It's enough that for two years he never said a word of his true identity, but he dares himself to get involved with you when he knows his past won't let him? That's where he's wrong, Clare."

I took a shaky breath, trying to calm myself. She was right, though. Even though I was partly at fault for letting myself fall without interrogating him further, it was his fault for risking my and his feelings when he knew he was incapable. I sighed, wiping my tears with the back of my hands. Incapable. Incapable of loving me.

Both of our heads shot up when one of the double doors opened. I prayed that it wasn't Eli, I couldn't face him right now. I sighed audibly when Drew's concerned, blue eyes came into view as he approached us. He was rigid, but took a deep breath as he stood in front of us.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Fitz went out of control," Drew laughed nervously, trying to ease the hard conversation.

"Fitz went out of control? Eli is a psycho maniac! What's wrong with him?" Alli demanded, turning towards Drew with her hands on her hips.

Drew scratched his head, obviously uncomfortable with the interrogation. "It's really none of my business getting into this, but he had ever reason to punch Fitz. Not only did he risk our reputation in front of a journalist, he also went against his word with Eli and the band to never speak of it again," he said.

"It? You mean Julia?" Alli asked confidently, daring him to question her. I was silent, not wanting to speak for fear of breaking down again.

"Yeah..." Drew mumbled as he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Well, whoever the hell Julia is, Eli crossed the line when he lied to Clare! Just because he's all rich and famous doesn't mean he can lead her on like that!" Alli exclaimed furiously.

Drew looked at me then, shocked. "Wait...he hasn't told you about Julia?"

I shook my head, my heart clenching at Drew's disbelief.

"But I thought Adam said he was different with you...Haven't you guys known each other for more than two years now?" Drew asked, incredulous.

"He failed to mention that small detail," I mumbled miserably, crossing my arms protectively.

Drew opened and closed his mouth a few times, at a loss for words. I looked away, embarrassed that I looked so vulnerable in front of him.

"Listen, Clare. Julia is nothing. She means nothing to Eli. When he calms down, he'll come and tell you-"

"No!" I exclaimed quickly. Drew's lips clamped down in surprise, while Alli turned to stare at me, waiting for my reaction.

"...No?" Drew asked in confusion.

"No. I don't want to see him," I replied, removing myself from the wall and standing up straight.

"He wants to talk to you, though. Adam's calming him down in there, but he has wanted to see you," Drew insisted.

Just then, Fitz and a lot of men surrounding him came through the double doors. I gasped when I saw Fitz, his jaw angling unnaturally as he held it carefully. My eyes were locked on his as he passed me, gasping when I read the 'I told you so' in his eyes. I bit my lip as they opened the doors on the other side, saying something about taking him to the hospital.

"I don't want to see him," I repeated. "I just wanna go home."

Alli held my hand. "Home? As in, home home?"

I nodded. "You can stay for the weekend like we planned, Alli. You don't have to leave for my sake. I'm not stopping you, but I just...I can't stay here," I whispered shakily.

She looked back at Drew, knowing she was going to have to choose.

"I am really sorry to ask this, but is there any way I can go grab my things and take a plane back home as soon as possible?" I asked, wanting to hurry because I knew Eli was sure to come in any minute now.

"Eli will probably want to send me to the hospital too if I let you go back home," Drew replied nervously.

"Drew," I puffed in slight frustration, the hallway growing eerily silent. "Please understand the situation that I'm in. I've been in love with a man I thought I knew for as long as I can remember. I just met him for the first time yesterday, and he was even better than I ever dreamed, he was more than I deserve. Then, just as I thought that he was falling in love with me too, I found out in the most unconventional way that his heart already belongs to someone else. Do you know how much that hurts? Knowing that the person you would do anything for is only using you to fill the void left by someone who is the best other half for them? Well it hurts. A lot. So much, that I can't bear to look him in the eyes because I'll lose the only sanity I have left. So please, let me leave with the little control and integrity that I have and leave this all behind," I said desperately, panting softly at the intensity of my emotions.

The couple stared at me blankly, Alli with watery eyes and Drew with sympathy. Drew cleared his throat and nodded curtly, looking down at his feet. "I'll call Gerard to take you back and arrange a flight back to your home," Drew said quietly, grabbing his phone and making the call.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "I'll wait outside," I murmured, turning on my heels to walk outside.

I didn't notice the way Alli held onto Drew's hand as she watched me walk away. I didn't notice how Drew's large hand gripped hers tightly, happy that he and Alli were fine. I didn't notice the way Drew and Alli gazed sadly at each other as Gerard confirmed that he was outside. But what I really didn't notice was the remaining two band members standing in front of the double doors that came into the hallway a few minutes before.

I definitely didn't notice the way the dark-haired, green-eyed rock star dropped down to his knees with disbelief and guilt, having heard my entire speech.

**oooooooooo**

All of my belongings were in my blue duffle bag and in my hand. I left the turquoise room and closed the door, making my way down the hallway. I unconsciously stopped in front of Eli's room, my heart aching. I softly opened the door and turned on the lights of the red room. Everything looked just as he had left it this morning, the black satin sheets tangled and messy, his guitar on his chair, picks and papers on the floor, shoes and shirts everywhere. He was seriously a messy guy, but strangely that didn't turn me off as much as I thought. I checked to see where Alli was; she was downstairs with her bag in hand talking to her brother.

I couldn't help myself, I went inside his room and dropped my bag on the floor. I went to the bed and lay down in the center, staring up at the ceiling that was painted with black designs. I sighed and rolled over, burying my face in the pillow he used last night. I breathed in his scent, my whole body becoming weak with intoxication. He smelled so good; I was going to miss it. A single tear rolled down my cheeks as I hugged it to me softly before letting go and jumping off the bed. I went back and grabbed my duffle bag, looking back one last time. I looked down and found a silver pick behind the desk, lonely. I reached down to grab it and inspected it. It was shiny and had Eli's graphic signature written in red sharpie. I smiled sadly and put it in my pocket, hoping he wouldn't miss it. It was just for a memory of what could never be. I sighed and closed the door, walking down the stairs to join Alli.

As I walked towards her, she snapped her phone shut and huffed angrily.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Alli looked at me and sighed in annoyance. "My brother is just being stupid because I told him I was coming back a day early. He said I couldn't just go back home without him because I'm supposed to be home from the "field trip" tomorrow morning. Can I stay over with you?" she asked.

"Of course you can Alli," I smiled, before biting my lip softly. "You really don't have to come back with me, Alli."

Alli linked her arm with mine and smiled slyly. "It's okay, it's all part of my plan to get Drew. He's just going to miss me all the more and want to know me more so he'll just have to come back and visit me, now won't he?"

I laughed softly, my heavy heart lifting lightly at my best friend's words. I was so happy she came with me and helped me, through everything. She didn't judge me at all and she was completely understanding, and that's what I loved about Alli. We had a give and take relationship, even if we were completely different. She was my rock when I needed it.

She sighed and looked around the house. "Well, say good-bye to the life of fame, Miss Clare," she said. "Oh! I almost forgot!" Alli took out an envelope from her bag and placed it neatly on the kitchen counter.

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

"It's just a letter addressing everyone thanking them for everything and that we won't tell anyone about what happened between them. And that we love them very much," she said softly as we walked through the front door.

The ride to the airport was quiet, both of us looking out the window to the city. I felt a buzzing on my lap suddenly. I picked up my phone and frowned when I saw Eli's name pop up on my screen calling me. I ignored it and put it back in my lap, sighing softly. It buzzed again. I checked and huffed as his name appeared again. I pressed the red button hard, hoping it would make him go away. It buzzed again, but with a text message this time.

_Don't leave, Clare.  
Eli_

I stared at the screen sadly, wanting so badly to stay with him forever. I didn't answer though, instead looking at the picture on my phone's background. I changed it yesterday from Eli's air pose to a picture of Eli and I at the party last night. I looked like a hot mess, with my hair slightly poofed up and goofy grin, but I didn't put it because of me. I didn't put it because of me, I put it because he had the most amazing smile in this picture. I have seen him smirk, grin, frown, and pout, but I had never seen him smile as genuinely as he was in this picture. He was holding my waist from behind and had his chin on my shoulder, smiling as I stretched my arm out to take the picture. I smiled at the memory, keeping it in my heart forever. The phone buzzed.

_So you're just going to take off without saying good-bye? Without an explanation?  
Eli_

I closed it quickly, tempted to just give in. I wouldn't though. I was stronger than this. Instead, I went through the pictures that I took of us together at the party. My heart thumped slowly as I looked at Eli's silly faces, rock star faces, smug faces in my pictures. He was so beautiful, and treated me so wonderful. What went wrong? Again, my phone buzzed.

_Answer your phone, Clare. Please. You can't hide from me forever.  
Eli_

I put my phone on silent and stuffed it in my pocket, tears threatening to fall. The limousine stopped in front of the airport, Gerard opening the door. I was the first to get out, and was suddenly swarmed by a mob of paparazzi. I squinted as the lights blinded me, hiding behind Gerard as he moved to the trunk to retrieve our bags.

"MISS! MISS! What's your name?"

"Are you meeting El-"

"Can you tell us what happened at the co-"

"Miss, over here!"

I ignored them, feeling a blush form on my cheeks at all of the attention from the other people at the airport. "Thank you, Gerard, you have been nothing but helpful," I smiled softly.

"Of course, Miss Clare. It was a real pleasure to have you stay with us," he winked handing me my bags. "Derek is going to take you to the plane," he said, smiling sweetly.

Alli came to the back with me and grabbed her own bag, smiling at me encouragingly. A large, intimidating man came up to us and smiled before turning to face the paparazzi.

"Hey! Go bother someone else, okay?" he exclaimed, pushing past them and tugging us along with him.

Thank goodness Derek was able to brush them off, but everyone kept looking at me with curious faces. I guess they were trying to figure out who I was, but I was nobody! So it shouldn't matter. We did the mundane airport routine with turning in our bags, passing through the checkpoint, and going through metal detectors. I hated not having someone to talk to because then I was left alone with my thoughts and they would always drift back to him. Once we were in the large hallway where the gates were, Derek told us to sit while he went to check on the jet. Alli and I sat with a sigh, laughing lightly.

"I can't believe all of this happened in two days," Alli said, answering a text message.

"Yeah, I don't think people are going to believe us if we told them," I agreed, smiling softly as I watched my best friend text Drew.

Derek came back, receiving some looks from the small children sitting next to us. "We're just waiting for the right time slot, which is in about fifteen minutes. You can walk around, just make sure to get here at 3:45," he said.

I looked at Alli. "Come with me to buy a Twix bar? I'm really craving some chocolate," I pleaded.

"Why? Do you need a moment? Chew it up with Twix?" she snickered, and I groaned at her horrible way of cheering me up.

Nevertheless, we stood up with purses on our shoulders and walked around to find the nearest candy store. I found one at the corner and was about to turn in when Alli grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

"What?" I asked.

She was silent, listening. "Do you hear that?"

I scrunched my eyebrows down and tried to focus on anything besides the murmur of the people. And then, I heard it. Very faintly and in a distance, but I heard it:

"Oh my god, is that Elijah Goldsworhty?"

"It has to be! I wonder wh-"

"Hey, look it's-"

"He's so _hot!"_

"What is he doing _here?_"

"What luck!"

My eyes widened and my heart started to thud loudly in my ears. Oh no. Alli looked around with me, trying to find the source of the screaming, but with no luck.

"What is he doing here? He has no right to come after you!" Alli grit out, stomping her foot.

Suddenly, I heard rapid, faint footsteps and screams behind me. I froze, hearing them come closer. I took a deep breath and turned around slowly, hoping he really wouldn't be there. I was wrong, he wasn't a few feet away. He was standing right in front of me as his dark eyes piercing into mine deeply, a glint in them that I couldn't define. People weren't at hearing distance, but they were all staring at us, at him. I didn't listen to them, though. I felt vulnerable and open as Eli stared at me and searched my eyes for something, anything. His eyes were hard, but sad at the same time. It was too much for me to take.

My eyes widened as he stepped closer to me, the specks of brown in his green eyes mesmerizing me. The swarm of people grew as we stayed staring at each other, waiting. I was the one to break the eye contact, biting my lip and staring at my hands.

"What are you doing here?" I asked softly.

"I'm taking you back home," he replied simply, his face serious.

I looked up at him, frustration evident. "No. No, Eli. Just let me go home by myself! You've already caused me enough pain," I said sharply.

He winced slightly, but shook his head. "I'm taking you back home, with me."

The crowd murmured loudly, annoying me further. I huffed and turned my head. "I can't do this Eli," I whispered, feeling the hurt crawling up again.

"Can't do what?" he asked anxiously.

"This!" I exclaimed, pointing to the two of us. "Whatever happened these past few days, and these past few years, was a complete mistake. So just let me go and forget this ever happened," I lied. I could never forget this ever happened, but I hoped he would buy it. No, I really don't want him to.

"Don't do this, Clare," Eli ordered darkly, stepping close to me and gripping my hand in his large one firmly. "You can't tell me to forget about this, about you, because I don't want to and I know you don't either. And don't lie to me and say you feel nothing," he rasped.

I ripped my hand from his, wanting to cry with what I was about to do. "If you feel anything for me at all, you'll leave me alone. Please, just do this one thing for me," I pleaded sadly.

He ran his hand through his thick hair and stared at the floor. "Why?"

"Because I don't know you," I said, a tear rolling down my cheek. "I don't know anything about you, apparently. I'm not just some paper doll you can manipulate, and I won't let myself submit to your stupid charms like that girl before me."

Eli's eyes widened and then narrowed dangerously. "You _know _who I am! Nobody knows me better than you do. I've opened up to you and told you everything," he seethed.

"Are you serious?" I asked, laughing shortly in disbelief. "So who is Julia, then? Just one of your fan girls, like you've told me before? Can you tell me who she is?"

He gulped and closed his eyes, shaking his head softly. "No...I can't," he whispered.

Just like that, he shot all of my hope. I bit my lip and tried to control my ragged breathing, clenching my hands in an attempt to relieve the almost unbearable pain.

"Did this really mean nothing to you?" I asked hesitantly, my voice cracking as the sorrow threatened to consume me.

He didn't answer. He merely put his hands in his pockets and clenched his jaw together, looking down at the ground.

"Good-bye, Elijah Goldsworthy," I whispered shakily.

As Alli put her arm around me and pulled me back to Derek and the jet, I gauged his reaction. He never looked at me, he never even glanced back at my direction. He was just standing there, glaring at the floor blankly with his hands in his pockets. As Derek took us into the elevator, I looked back at him, hoping he would be running to me and begging me to come back. My breath caught in my throat when I saw that he was already at the exit at the far end of the airport, pushing the door and walking out with his head held high like nothing happened.

And I cried. And cried. And cried.

He was gone, forever.

**oooooooooo**

It was Friday now, a week since I had met my favorite pen pal. Well, ex-pen pal. We don't talk anymore, as expected. I actually got online at some points during the week, but he wasn't online anymore. Morty-golds49 had completely vanished from my life and I wished that I didn't miss him. I couldn't really seem to remove any of my pictures or information from my life because I just couldn't handle the pain just yet. I couldn't get myself to change my computer's wallpaper, my fingers wouldn't let me bring down the poster of him in my locker, and my aching heart wouldn't let me press the delete button on his phone number. This whole week seemed to drag on, my mind not even really present in any of my conversations anymore. I was an auto-pilot all of the time now, not being able to focus on anything in particular. All I could think about was the dull beat of my heart and how it was slowly, ever so slowly, coming back to life.

Alli stayed with me Saturday night in my parent-less house while we waited for Sav to get back on Sunday morning. I cried so much on the way back that by the time I was home, I had no more tears left. So she helped me try to lift my mood by painting my nails while we watched comedies on TV, ordered in pizza, read some magazines, and just about anything we could think of. At nine in the morning, I walked Alli to school where the bus arrived on time and was reunited with her brother Sav. The Bhandari's gave me a ride home and I basically stayed in the entire day, miserable.

I tried not to think of him when I started on my English essay, but I couldn't help but see his cocky smirk in my mind every time I wrote about the main character of the novel, Elliot. I tried not to think of him when my mom called and reminded me that we had some left-over cheesecake in the refrigerator, but all I was thinking about was Eli and his Batman cup. I really, really tried not to think of him when "Little Lion Man" started to play on my iPod, but I couldn't get myself to change the song as I pictured the two of singing on that stage. God really hated me right now, I was sure. There was nothing about Sunday that didn't remind me of stupid, amazing, arrogant, gorgeous Elijah Goldsworthy.

On Monday, school was almost like a living hell. I had a mini heart attack when Alli came to me in the morning and showed me the cover of Teen Dream magazine, which to my horror had a large picture of me tucked neatly to Eli's side as he smirked to the camera.

"When was this taken?" I exclaimed loudly, taking the magazine from her and flipping to find the article.

"When we were leaving backstage to go to the party. I came out too, on the page of the article! I'm so glad my parents don't even pay attention to the magazine racks, but Sav was the one that showed it to me," Alli explained.

I finally found the two-page article that had several pictures of Eli and I at the concert singing and on our way to the limo, Alli and Drew in each other's arms laughing, and even a snapshot of Adam and Fiona smiling and laughing at a park.

_ROMANCE FOR THE PROXEMICS? Word on the street is that two fans have taken the rock star's interest-_

"Oh my god!" I screeched in horror and handed it back to her harshly. "I'm just happy my parents are at their retreat or they would have seen it for sure."

Alli nodded in agreement and left me to go to her class. I swear, does everyone in Degrassi High read that stupid magazine? I had at least five people in every class come up to me and ask me if that was me. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die, because I would have jumped at agreeing if Eli hadn't rejected me this weekend, but now I just don't want to say anything. They had to keep bringing it up, it was so annoying! Even Ms. Dawes mentioned it in class, making me the center of attention. Really? _Really? _Even Jenna asked me to sit with her and her friends during our fourth period. Jenna? The girl that stole my boyfriend and hates my guts forever asked me to sit with her? What is wrong with the world?

"Clare-bear, you little sneak! Elijah Goldsworthy was hugging you! Hugging _you_! How did that happen?" she exclaimed with fake interest.

_Twitch._

"Like, I know you had backstage passes and everything but how the heck did you actually get him to take you to a party? A celebrity party! Did you see anyone there? Maybe you should tell him to hook me up," Jenna giggled, all her friends completely engaged.

_Twitch. Twitch._

"OH MY GOD! Does that mean you have his number?" she asked, her eyes bugging out.

_Sigh. _

_Thank _goodness the teacher came in and assigned us individual assignment and she finally shut up before I could tell her off. By the time I was home, I was just happy I had complete silence again.

It pretty hard to change my routine, too. I usually always got online at 8:00 PM so that I could talk to Morty and say goodnight, but now I had a few hours to kill without that to look forward to. I hated not having someone who could listen to my thoughts, or someone to actually have a stimulating conversation with. I mean, don't get me wrong; I loved Alli and she was one of the funniest people I've ever met, but she never challenged me to argue and debate and set a fire in me like Morty did. At night, I couldn't sleep either. I would stare out at the window and try to sleep, but it never came. It feels absolutely stupid to admit this, but I don't think I can sleep without him. When I woke up on Saturday morning in Eli's arms, the warmth and comfort that surrounded me was like no other feeling. I tried to deny it, but I knew that it was going to be very hard to sleep without his warmth. It's like when you're a kid going into a teenager and you get your first phone. Then, you're grounded and your phone is taken away. Then you think, how could you ever live without it? Now whenever you don't have your phone, you feel like a part of you is missing. I hated to admit it, but it was too late. Elijah Goldsworthy was like a first cell phone, my first cell phone. I slept next to him once, and now I don't think I'll be able to get used to it. I eventually fall asleep at nights, but with a lot of effort.

Tuesday was also pretty tough. Alli wasn't complaining about the attention, which was completely expected. She would actually show off her flirty text messages with Drew to a bunch of random girls and flaunt in front of boys, and I just stood there in the background trying to get her to stop being so embarrassing. The only pretty intense thing that happened that day, besides all of the repetitive comments and questions by the unoriginal students, was that KC actually came up to me after a year of not talking to me.

"So, is it true? What everyone is saying about you and Alli? You guys actually stayed with Proxemics for the weekend?" he asked, coming to sit in front of me during study hall.

"Yes, yes it's true," I sighed, really just wanting him to get away.

"Oh that's pretty cool. So are you and Elijah actually...dating? God that sounds so weird," he laughed nervously.

I looked up at him skeptically, his face completely oblivious to my annoyance.

"KC, we haven't talked in over a year and this is the first thing you decide to ask?" I asked, lifting my eyebrow.

He blinked and stuttered, "I, uh...was just curious is all. S-So...how have you been, Clare? I've been meaning to apologize..."

I scoffed and closed my book, standing up. "Just great, thanks. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving now. If you really do want to apologize, you can do it when you don't have false intentions," I replied, walking away without a single glance.

By Wednesday, I was already better. After my confrontation with KC, I felt much more confident and bold. I had envisioned how my encounter with KC ever since we broke up, and I never thought I would have the guts to actually come off as indifferent. I told Alli and she only added fuel to my confidence when she squealed and congratulated me. The Elijah questions were starting to fade as all of the commotion dimmed, and I had successfully gone through about half of the day without thinking of him. At night, I still couldn't sleep as easily as I wanted to but I found that playing soft music in the background helped.

On Thursday, I got back to my usual rhythm. I was doing excellent in school, Alli and I made a few friends with some girls in our class and it was pretty fun to have other girls in the group, I picked up drawing again, I went to my Catholic youth group and participated in speaking, and everything was going pretty smoothly. I still couldn't bring myself to take down any of my pictures of Elijah, but I was able to change my cell phone wallpaper to a picture of Alli and I from when we went for lunch yesterday at the Dot. Baby steps, I told myself.

Now, it's Friday. The day went by pretty slowly, as always, but Alli said that she was going to have a movie night at her house and I was invited. So I was looking forward to that, in a way. It was 5:19 in the afternoon, and I was supposed to be at Alli's house at 5:30. I was already showered and dressed in some jeans and a nice, green flowy shirt and had my hair in their usual curls with a small amount of make-up. My parents called earlier and said they would be coming home on Monday afternoon, so everything was arranged. Then, my phone buzzed.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Clare!" Alli's excited voice exclaimed.

"Hey, what's up? I'm almost on my way to your house," I replied, walking out of my room.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but could you possibly bring those really good lemon chips you had at your house on Saturday? I'm running low on chips," she said.

I smiled and went to the kitchen. "Yeah, I have a new bag and everything," I replied.

"Okay, thanks Clare! See you in a bit!" she said before hanging up.

I grabbed the bag of chips and jumped a little when I heard the door bell ring. I cocked my head to the side in confusion. I wasn't supposed to have any visitors any time soon. I slowly walked to the door, chips in hand, and unlocked it. When I opened the door, my eyes clashed with deep green ones and gasped. I dropped the bag of chips and stared at the one man I had been trying to forget this entire week. He was right here, on my door step, with his hands on his sides and his eyes on mine.

"Bright colors make me look unnatural," he blurted, his voice a little deeper than usual. My skin erupted in goose bumps as the voice I tried to repress filled my ears.

"Um...excuse me?" I asked, confused.

"You asked me once why I like wearing dark colors, and it's because bright colors contrast with my hair and skin and make me look unnatural," he clarified, gauging my reaction.

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. Why was he here? How did he find my house? Why was he telling me this?"

He cleared his throat and shifted his weight softly, looking down at the floor.

"I'll answer anything you want to ask me, even if it's a stupid question like what my favorite type of pancake is," he said passionately, glancing up at me. "I'll do anything; just...give me time, Clare. It's not easy for me, trusting someone. I know you probably already had an idea just how much it takes for me to open up to someone and I'm sorry that you had to find out about my past in such a brutal way, but I want to let you in. I just need time, but not time away from you. I can't bear it anymore," he whispered.

My heart pounded as I took all of this in, clutching the door knob tightly in my hand.

"Don't lock me out, Clare. Please. Will you give me time?" he asked softly, his eyes piercing my soul. "Will you let me in?"

My heart floated and my breath hitched. He looked so lost, miserable. Just like I did. That's when I realized I couldn't leave him out of my life anymore. So without another word, I stepped aside and let him in. He bent down and picked up my forgotten chips, holding them in his large hands as the corner of his lips twitched up in a sheepish, sad smile.

Our eyes locked, and I knew we were going to be okay.

* * *

7,734 words! Holy mother, that's a beast! I was actually going to stop it when Eli left at the airport and be mean, but because I said I was going to make this chapter extra long and because I'm so happy with the last episode, I decided to make it longer and end it on a happy note. Will Eli be able to successfully open up and fix his relationship with Clare? Hmm, well I guess you'll have to wait and see, neh?

I'm feeling very productive, so please feel free to expect another chapter this Friday. Thank you for your wonderful reviews, you have no idea how much they mean to me!

**WAZAM**


	9. Ready

I am back, with a heartfelt chapter and happiness! I'm just SO happy that Eli and Clare are finally on steady ground, and I hope they stay that way when the season ends. Because I think we all know how Degrassi is known for their horrible cliffhangers at the end of the seasons. GAH! Anyways, I was completely taken aback by the feedback I got in the last chapter. Did I really make people cry? Well, I've never done that so that's one thing to add to my checklist! I am glad that I'm able to transmit the emotions Clare is feeling well, because that's what I'm going for! I promise this chapter will make up for the intensity of the last chapter. Again, I want to thank everyone who actually took the time to review. I want you to know that I read each of them and take them into account to try and improve my writing.

**BY THE WAY!** I have gotten a lot of messages and reviews asking _"What about Eli's point of view?"_ Well, I am here to reveal a little secret. Once "Rockstar" is finished, I am going to make the alternative version that will be all Eli's point of view. The only reason I'm considering doing it another story entirely is because, as you can see, there are a lot of parts that are unclear because Clare is not with Eli all the time nor does she always know what he's thinking. I think it'll be a good idea, tell me what you think. I don't want to put Eli's point of view in the story because I find that it will somehow degrade the quality of the chapters; it's just a gut feeling. It's too early to say, but I am debating on making a sequel or not. After all, this story is going to be a range of 20-25 chapters, but not any longer. I mean, I don't want to make this story so freakishly long that people will get tired of reading, you know? If anything, I'll make the sequel. I'm not sure though, it's too early to tell.

This chapter will have a lot of information and a lot of dialogue, I tried to make it the most enjoyable as I could. All of this was needed to make their relationship work, so bear with me?

**D****i****sclaimer:** I own a pair of fast-typing hands, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 9._

It was kind of hilarious, even in the serious situation, to think that Elijah Goldsworthy was sitting on my peach couch casually, like he wasn't the nation's top artist.

I was sitting on the small wooden table in front of the couch, facing him. He was playing with his fingers and breathing softly, captivating me all the more. We hadn't said a word since I let him in the house; he just came in and sat down on the couch and took in the interior of my house. I took a deep breath and crossed my legs, wanting to understand why the object of my supposed ex-affection was here in my house.

"Are you here by yourself, or...?" I asked, my voice a little louder in the silence.

He shook his head softly. "No, I'm not. Drew and Adam are here, too. Fitz is back in Toronto with JJ having a very serious conversation before we head out to our last concert of the tour, but the guys and I just decided to take a break from all of his crap. Excuse my language," he said, his jaw clenching at the mention of Fitz.

I didn't like when he cursed, it made me frown because I know that he only curses when he's really upset. I didn't exactly want to get into such a deep topic so early, so I changed the route.

"And so, how did you find my house?" I asked.

He smirked a little, finally lifting his head and resting his elbows on his knees. We were so close that our knees were touching, and the sensation was intoxicating

"My parents told me the address," he replied confidently.

Whoa, what? "Your parents?" I giggled, not sure if to believe him.

He nodded and intertwined his fingers together. "Even though it seem like I just fell from heaven..." he teased and wiggled his eyebrows, making me giggle."I was actually born into a regular family. Well, not really. If by regular you mean two hard-core rocker fan groupie, high-school sweethearts who got married and had their kid in the back of a hippie van, then yes. Yes we are a regular family."

I smiled, genuinely. Not like the fake smiles I had plastered throughout the entire week. This was the Eli I knew, the one who doesn't take "crap" from anyone and is cocky and sarcastic to the death. He was opening up to me, and I can't imagine the strength it was taking him to actually talk to me even if the conversation was light.

"So, here's the funny part. This little small town that you live in, Miss Edwards?" he started, "This is where I was born and raised."

My jaw dropped then. "Are you serious?" I asked in disbelief.

He chuckled and nodded. "I know, the falling from heaven story is much more believable. Oh well, you just have to face the fact that I lived here for the first sixteen years of my life, as well as the rest of Proxemics. I took my first guitar lessons with that crazy guy on the corner of Kirk Street, rode my first bike in the Clear Water park, wrote my first song during Mr. Rodell's class in middle school, got my first car from the dealership nearby. I mean let's face it, I went through a lot of first's here," he exclaimed, talking animatedly.

"There is NO way that you lived here for sixteen years! Where do you live?" I asked suspiciously.

He gasped in exaggeration. "I won't be able to sleep in peace at night!" We laughed in unison.

"I live in a small town-house nearby, on Liam Street? Familiar?" he asked, his eyes wide with humor.

I nodded dimly, the thought that this amazing boy lived a few streets from me this entire time. WOW! He smirked, amused, and started to play with his fingers.

"So anyway, back to how my parents have your address. I went to Degrassi for the first few years, which is where you still are, right?" he asked.

My eyes widened and I stood up in shock. "Okay, now you're just playing with me. I think I would have noticed if you were there at Degrassi!" I argued.

He chuckled and smirked slyly. "Are you saying I'm too attractive not to notice?"

"Shut up, you know what I mean," I blushed.

He paused momentarily, trying to find the right words, it seemed.

"I even had a class with you at some point in your sophomore year. Do you remember World History with Mr. Johnson?" he asked.

I blinked and tried desperately to remember his face. "Yeah, but I don't remember you," I replied, still finding it hard to believe that he used to go to school with me, let alone the same classroom.

"You probably didn't recognize me for three reasons. One, because I had a fohawk at the time. Two, I went by my middle name," he counted.

I couldn't help but giggle, "A fohawk, Eli?"

His eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Hey! I can actually pull of a fohawk. JJ was the one that suggested I change my hair style when we went global, so voile! Bangs," he exclaimed, running his fingers through his bangs. I tried to picture Eli in a fohawk, and it was actually kind of believable.

"And your middle name?" I asked hesitantly.

"It's Jay," he stated, hiding his face sheepishly.

"J-A-Y?" I asked.

"It's not a nickname for Jacob or Jason or anything, it's just Jay," he smiled.

"Elijah Jay Goldsworthy? Hmm...I still think it sounds like a Sesame Street character," I giggled.

He frowned and scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. I gasped, remembering that I wasn't just talking to Alli, who told everyone everything. This was Eli, the boy who just offered to open up his world for the first time. I sat down on the desk again and reached for his intertwined hands in apology. He flinched visibly, shooting his hands away from mine. My eyes widened and placed my hands on my lap stiffly, rejection slapping me in the face. Then I remembered how Adam told me that Eli hates unnecessary physical contact. I felt like such a jerk, an ignorant hypocrite taking advantage of his vulnerability. I really did not mean for him to take it that way, it's just that it's so easy for me to get lost in a conversation with him, always. He's so easy to talk to, even with his trust issues. I wanted our relationship to be at a teasing level like it was this past weekend, but I knew that he needed time. I would gladly give him all the time he needed, and I felt bad for letting myself lose control of my words. I heard him sigh, shaking his head softly.

"I'm sorry...it's still new to me," he slowly brought his hands from his chest and reached for mine, nudging their way in between mine.

"No, I'm sorry, Eli. I swear I didn't mean to come off like a bully, I really do love your name," I apologized softly.

He exhaled shakily and closed his eyes when I caressed his knuckles with my thumbs, his lips quirking up slightly. "You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm just a bit too sensitive sometimes, but...I want to change," he said softly, intimately.

My heart melted and I smiled softly. "That's good, Eli. That's really, really good. I'll be here if you need anything, okay?"

He looked up sympathetically, smiling a sad smile.

"Okay, so you told me two reasons why I wouldn't notice you. What's the third one?" I started.

"Three, because..." he took a deep breath and exhaled, "...I made it a point to keep myself invisible to you."

"Wait...so you knew who I was, even before we met online?" I asked, my heart beating faster.

He chuckled and removed his hands from mine gently, quickly taking mine in between his to assure me that he wasn't going to remove them. It felt good to feel his cool, larger hands around my warm ones. It felt so...right.

"Did I know who you were? It was hard not to. I think you're the first person to ever make me quiver and shake when walking near me, like I mentioned at the concert," he grinned sheepishly.

"Me? Make _you _quiver and shake? You should see me every time you look at me," I said unconsciously, instantly blushing and shutting my mouth in embarrassment that my mind didn't filter my thoughts.

I peeked up through my eyelashes and felt my cheeks burn when I saw his eyes smolder and his lips etched in my favorite crooked smile. He chuckled softly and traced imaginary circles on the skin of my hands, a shiver ran down my spine at its gentleness. The corners of his lips twitched higher, forming a wicked grin. He knows what he's doing to me! He's teasing me on purpose.

My whole body heated up and I cleared my throat, trying to gain control again.

"S-So back to how your parents know my address?" I breathed out, his skin touching mine sending my nerves into over-drive.

"Do you remember in my junior year, your sophomore year, when Principal Simpson sent out a booklet to all of the parents containing all of the numbers and addresses of people in the PTA things? Well, I remember my mom mentioned your mom's name one night and said that she gave a really good speech at the meeting and wanted to call her for some questions using the little book, and I got so nervous. Just the thought of my mom talking to yours was enough to make me go crazy with hope that I would meet you one day. I was never able to, though, because my dad's friend discovered the band and I playing in my garage two months into the semester and I was too intimidated by Saint Clare to talk to her that early in the semester," he shrugged. "It wasn't meant to be."

_Yes it was! _I thought, pleaded in my head.

"So when you found me online, did you know who I was? Because Morty didn't add me until the end of my sophomore year," I asked.

He nodded, his fingers still caressing my skin and distracting me momentarily. "I did know who you were. I mean, I was surprised when I found your name online but I remembered your name and got the guts to add you. I hesitated a bit, but I added you anyway," he said honestly.

"Why did you hesitate?" I asked, almost sadly.

He clicked his tongue. "Well, with everything that went on in my early career, I didn't want you to be blinded by my fame like everyone else. I actually...liked you, and I didn't want to find out that you were just another fan girl. Then I decided I would hide my identity from you, hoping you would still want to talk to me. Luckily, you took a leap of faith and you did. Then two years later, you told me about Proxemics and I couldn't help but jump at the opportunity to actually see you again. So now, here we are," he smiled.

"So...you like me then?" I asked quietly, biting my lip softly.

When he looked up, I felt the now familiar electricity run through us. My hands shook when he moved his long fingers fluidly until they were opening mine and sliding them in between, interlacing our fingers softly. I gasped softly when our knees touched again and his darkening eyes gazed down to my parted lips, my stomach flipping nervously. I saw the hesitance in his eyes when he flicked his eyes back to mine, afraid of my rejection. So I slowly leaned in, giving him the signal. His breath hitched and his eyes went back to my lips as he licked his lips and leaned down slowly. My heart pounded in my chest as I fluttered my eyes closed, just wanting to feel his soft lips against mine again.

_BRRRRRRRRRR! BRRRRRRRRRRRR!_

Eli and I tore apart just as our lips were about to meet, taken aback from the loud vibration coming from the desk next to me. We looked down and noticed my phone was lighting up. My eyes widened in realization and I gasped.

"Oh my god, Alli! I was supposed to meet her like thirty minutes ago!" I exclaimed, quickly grabbing my phone and answering.

"Hello?"

"Clare Diane Edwards, we _need _some chips and your wonderful presence! Where are you?" Alli exclaimed loudly.

"I'm sorry, but something just came up-" a glance at Eli, "-and I can't go to your house."

"Why? What happened?" she asked.

Eli snatched the phone from me quickly and put it to his ear. "Hey Alli. I'm really sorry, but I'm going to be kidnapping Clare from you for a little bit," he said calmly.

"...ELI? You're with Clare?...What?...from..." she said so loudly that even I could hear her.

"I know you probably want to come and slap me, but don't do that please. Look, I even brought Drew along so that he could see you," Eli argued, a smug smirk on his face.

"You think that...distract...anything to hur...," a few more mumbled words. She sounded pretty threatening.

Eli's calm expression tightened a bit, frowning. "If you want an explanation, you can ask Clare because you're just going to yell at me some more," he pouted, and I laughed.

"Fine...phone to her..."

"You can ask Clare after I'm done talking to her," he clarified.

"You better...good reas...kill...bye," and she hung up.

Eli's eyes were wide as he handed me the phone, an "I don't know" expression on his face. I grabbed my phone and stuck my tongue out at him. Yeah, that's right! No one messes with Mother Alli! I heard him chuckle as I stood up, grabbing the chips and headed towards the kitchen. I took a deep breath and exhaled, my head finally clearing from the emotional high. I put the chips back in the pantry and smiled. He was trying so hard, I could see it. I didn't know how I could possibly make it better rather than just sitting there and asking questions. I felt like we needed to be in a normal setting rather than in an empty house facing each other. I didn't want him to feel obligated to tell me because I really wanted this to work. I wanted to open up to him, too. I wanted him to know that I wanted to put as much effort into this as I could.

When I turned around from the pantry, I gasped when I met Eli's hard chest. I looked up in confusion and saw that he was deep in thought, his lips in a straight line.

"I think we should go out to dinner," he said bluntly, his eyes meeting mine curiously.

I blushed, my stomach filling with butterflies.

"Dinner? With people?" I asked.

"No...with you," he dragged, his voice laced with sarcasm.

I pouted and smacked his arm lightly, his hand holding his arm dramatically.

"I meant, like out in public! Won't you get too much attention?" I giggled, playing with the hem of my green shirt nervously.

'I don't think you know this, but I was voted master of disguise on my last public event. _By your mother! _Who said that?" Eli said playfully, changing his voice to fit his joke.

I laughed so hard that my cheeks started to hurt, but I didn't care. He was so stupid and cheesy and his expressions dramatic and one-of-a-kind, but if this was the real him, I would be falling even harder than I already was. He bowed his head in appreciation to my laughter and smirked.

"So, date?" he asked hopefully.

I smiled. "Yes."

**oooooooooo**

I now understood where he got the inspiration to name himself Morty, after seeing his car…well, his _hearse._ When we decided to leave the house, after Eli made some phone calls to the other band members, I saw the black, shiny hearse parked outside on my driveway. My jaw dropped and Eli smirked proudly, dangling the keys on his fingers. He told me he got his hearse when he was sixteen and had named it Morty, like _muerte _in Spanish that meant death. He opened the door to his hearse for me and slid in next to me once I was seated. I made a really lame joke about how now I knew where his obsession with death came from, and I smiled when he laughed. Because no one laughs at my jokes...he did not tell me where he was taking me, nearly driving through the familiar streets in the night. The car ride was comfortable, we were shooting details about ourselves back and forth without interruption. We had been talking constantly about each other since he had asked me to dinner an hour ago, learning as much about each other as we could. There wasn't an awkward silence in the entire hour and a half and my heart only soared at the realization.

Eli decided to take me to a small Itailian food restaurant called Primabella that I had never actually seen before. As Eli parked the hearse, I blinked as I saw the dim lighting of the restaurant and the secluded tables through the windows. Then, when I turned around to talk to him, I saw what he called "a disguise."

"Eli, I am not going to date a man with a mustache that looks like fur."

"What? Oh, come on, Clare. You know you love this mustache."

"No, as a matter of fact, I do not like the mustache at all."

"Aww, why not?"

"It looks like _fur_. On your face!"

"What's wrong with a furry face?"

"That it's on your face."

"..."

"..."

"...Yeah it does kind of look like I put a rug under my nose."

"Yes, yes it does."

"...I swear, it was Adam's idea!"

"..."

"...Okay, it was my idea. I've always wanted a mustache..."

"I would've gotten you an awesome mustache if you had asked me, silly!"

"...I should just put on some glasses and a cap, huh?"

"Mm, that would be best."

We got out of the hearse and walked to the restaurant. I looked back at Eli and giggled; he put on his own thick-rimmed glasses to hide his eyes, a beanie to cover most of his hair, and a really thick jacket to hide his upper body. I didn't even recognize him! He looked so adorable; I just wanted to keep him in my pocket! He stuck out his tongue at me and opened the door, the intimate setting of the restaurant immediately hitting me. I walked inside and Eli followed closely behind as the people dining turned to look at us. I blushed, and Eli stood in front of me to talk to the man in the front, hiding his face slightly by scratching his forehead.

"Hello, I made a reservation for two under the name Eli," he spoke in a deep voice that made me giggle.

The man checked the computer and smiled, leading us to a small booth on the side that was surrounded by no one. Our waitress came to our table, giving us the menu and asking for our drinks. I frowned slightly when I noticed that she kept eyeing Eli, not even glancing back at me. She had her flirty eyes on, and it was annoying me. Eli, however, didn't even seem to care. He glanced at her when he ordered us water, but made no further contact than was necessary. I could tell she was pretty disappointed when she left, and I was smug. Eli sighed as he took off his glasses, making sure nobody was looking. I knew that right now, he had his guard up. Our waitress returned and asked for our meal, and we both asked for the tortellini because Eli had mentioned earlier that he and his parents would always order that when they came. When the waitress left, we became Eli and Clare again.

The entire dinner was absolutely perfect; the food was absolutely amazing and the company was more than expected. I loved talking with Eli because I didn't even realize that three hours had gone by of our meaningless chatter and talk. There was no heavy conversation, just the small little details that made up his character and made me love him more with every second that passed by. I loved the way his lips curved into my favorite crooked smile and made small dimples on his cheeks when he laughed. I loved the way he told me stories of his past with his engaging facial expressions and his hilarious imitations. I loved the way he scrunched his napkin in his hand while he ate like a very hungry little bear. I loved the way he leaned closer every time I told him a story, genuinely interested in me rather than pretending to actually care.

I loved the way he made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the whole world.

Eli graciously paid for the check and walked me out of the restaurant, his hand on my lower back as he guided me to the hearse. I slid into the cool seat and sighed, taking in Eli's scent in the car. He slid into the driver's seat and turned on the ignition. He looked at me, a smirk of mischief plastered.

"Let's go somewhere," he whispered excitedly.

"We are somewhere," I whispered back sarcastically, giggling at his pout.

"Shut your mouth, Miss Edwards. I want to take you somewhere," he chuckled, putting the hearse in reverse and backing out. "I think you'll like it."

I smiled and rested my head on the seat as he turned on soft rock music, letting him take me where he wanted. I turned my head slightly, staring at him hopefully as he drove casually with one hand on the steering wheel and the other tapping the stick with the beat of the music. I knew then that it was real, these feelings. I would not tell him this, but he won. He won that stupid challenge we had made last week without him even knowing.

I was in love with Elijah Goldsworthy.

I turned my head to my window and sighed. I didn't know if I should be happy or sad about this because I still had no idea who Julia was or to what extent she made up his past. I then realized that I didn't care, because I would help him get through anything as long as he wanted me there. After a few minutes of driving, I felt the car park. I looked out and saw nothing but an endless field of grass, hills, and several trees. I lifted my eyebrow in confusion as he smirked and stepped out to open the door for me. He climbed on Morty's hood gently and extended his hand for me to take. I hesitantly put my hand in his larger one and let him lift me to the hood as well. He crawled to the roof and laid down on it, extending his long limbs and staring up at the sky. I smiled and followed suit, crawling up next to him and laying my head on the cool roof.

I gasped when I looked up; the stars were so beautiful here with no city lights to obstruct their brilliance. I felt Eli's gaze on me and turned my head to the side as well, our faces close to each other. He smiled softly, a deep emotion running through me as his fingers lightly brushed against mine on the metal.

"So where are you going to stay for the night?" I asked.

"Drew and Adam are staying at their own house, and I guess I'm going to stay at mine. My parents have night shifts so they don't get home until late morning," he explained, the cool breeze moving his hair.

I bit my lip and blushed as an idea formed in my head. "Do you want to stay at my house?"

Eli's eyebrows rose in shock, staring at me deviously, making me blush even more.

"I mean, if we're both going to be alone why not just spend it together?" I reasoned.

Eli smiled and looked up at the stars again. "I like the way you think, blue eyes," he chuckled.

"Well, Mr. Goldsworthy, I think you have truly outdone yourself," I teased, the tips of my fingers softly playing with his.

"Have I?" he smirked, looking back up at the sky. "Am I earning a lot of brownie points?"

I bit my lip and smiled at him. "Maybe. Not with Alli, apparently," I recalled.

"Oh my god, she hates me now," he groaned, taking his hands and covering his face miserably.

"No she doesn't! You're just not on her favorite list for what happened last week," I said, lowering my voice as I got to the end as the memories came back.

He dropped his hands and stared at me, intimately. I felt like he was reading my mind with those piercing eyes, and I wished that he wouldn't feel the slight sadness that swept through me suddenly. I didn't want to be the first one to ask because I knew it was a touchy subject, and I wasn't sure if he wanted to touch on that yet. Eli sighed and brought his closed hands up to the table, struggling to find words.

"I want to make this work, Clare. I really do. I know that I messed up horribly back in Toronto and I'm so thankful that you're giving me another chance because this past week has been absolute hell," he said deeply, the heaviness I had felt all week returning at his confession.

"I haven't been able to sleep at night, I haven't eaten right in days, I can't stand listening to music because you were the only thing that came to my mind. I didn't know if you were happy without me, and I didn't want to interfere after everything I did. Then I just...couldn't take it anymore. I found myself moping that my room was losing your scent and that my pillow didn't smell of your hair anymore, and that song I had started writing was haunting me. I had to come find you, to ease my mind. If you had said no, I would have respected your decision and left from your life even if it would have killed me to do it. I just needed to know if you felt the same misery I did, because I don't think I could have handled another minute without you," he expressed, his voice wavering slightly.

He looked so desperate, searching my eyes deeply. I wanted to cry and hold him, wanting to reassure him that I felt the same way. I itched to touch the hand that was next to me, but I stopped myself and intertwined my fingers on my stomach.

"I don't...usually fall, so this has really taken its effect on me. I'm so used to carrying my own weight that when you came into the picture, I actually felt like I didn't have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. When we were apart, I went back to the way I was and I hated myself. I'm going to be honest-," I looked up at him and he was staring intently. "-I don't like the dependency I have on you. Even if we've known each other for two years, I really only felt the pull last week and it's really scary how much it has affected me. I'm scared of going this far with you when I'm not even sure if I can handle the consequences," he explained darkly.

My eyes were wide and my heart was beating in my throat. "Consequences?"

He said nothing, just staring into my eyes and trying to convey an emotion that I didn't know. His eyes were shining, determined and unmoving. I wanted to know what it was, desperately. His eyes were so passionate and hard, always making my spine tingle with its intensity. That's when it hit me. My eyes widened and I stared at him all the more. That sparkle in his eyes, I had seen it before. Could it be...?

Is he in love with me, too?

I ached to tell him how I felt, but I bit my cheek to stop myself. I didn't want to ruin anything by telling him the intensity of my emotions because I wasn't exactly sure if he felt the same way. Eli took a deep breath and scoot a little closer to me before his eyes met mine.

"I know we're doing everything backwards and I shouldn't be asking this of you, but I just need to let it out," he said.

I waited anxiously, my stomach flipping in hope.

"Would you be mine? I know I haven't completely opened up, but I only need time and I promise I will. I just can't stand having you so near me and not have any claim on you because you're so beautiful and perfect. I feel desperate to make you mine because I want you to know that I really do want this to work and I don't want to share you with anybody else," he expressed, softly.

My heart skipped a beat and swallowing became hard to do as I heard him say the things I've wanted him to say in my dreams. I felt like a magnet, and I couldn't stay away anymore. I leaned in and pressed my lips to his soft ones, moving them slowly against his. He didn't respond for a few seconds, obviously taken aback by my actions, but then he slowly, surely, started to kiss me back. It felt so right, having his lips move sweetly against mine and just being with him. He broke the kiss much sooner than I wanted and breathed on my lips, our noses touching.

"Thank you...girlfriend," Eli breathed, smirking.

I smiled and daringly reached for his hand, hoping he wouldn't pull away. And instead of flinching away like he did before, he laced his fingers with mine tightly.

**oooooooooo**

The two of us stayed on the roof of the car for hours, neither of us talking and simply watching the stars and holding onto each other's hands. At some point, I had closed my eyes and drifted off a little bit. This night was the best I've had by far and I was light-headed at the surreal situation. My eyes snapped open when I felt Eli kiss my cheek softly, lingering, and whisper that we should head home. My heart fluttered at the word, _home_. I didn't want to leave, fearing that the moment would be lost. But as we got in the car and drove back, I smiled in relief and pleasure when he slowly reached for my hand and held it in his lap the entire ride.

When he parked in front of my house, Eli reached back and grabbed a black bag that had his belongings and his guitar case. We made our way inside the house wordlessly, just taking in the entire night. I turned on the lights and made sure to lock the door, placing my keys and purse in the front table. When I turned back, Eli was looking at me expectantly.

"Where do you want to sleep? I have a guest bedroom or a couch, or if you want my room..." I mumbled, wanting so badly to sleep next to him again.

I giggled silently when I saw his cheeks flush subtly. "Where do you want me to sleep?" he asked.

Dang it, he was going to make me pick! "Well, you could set up in my room if you want. I mean, I don't mind..." I said, biting my lip.

Eli smirked and nudged his head to the stairs, telling me to lead the way. I smiled and walked up the stairs with Eli behind me. When we got to the last door on the left of the hallway, I opened the door and mentally sighed when I realized that my room was clean. He walked inside and dropped his belongings, eyeing the room cautiously.

"Hmm, I'm just surprised there aren't any posters of me on here," he teased, earning a smack on the arm.

"Okay well, I'm gonna go ahead and change in the bathroom. You can change here, okay? I promise I won't peak," I said, going to my closet and picking out my nicest pajamas's.

Eli wiggled his eyebrows seductively and chuckled when he noticed the goose bumps on my arms. I huffed and walked outside into the hallway and to the bathroom, closing the door. I changed quickly and brushed my teeth, making sure I looked presentable. I don't know why, but I was really nervous. Maybe because there was more to our relationship than before? Or maybe just the fact that we were in a relationship and not just flirting around. I combed my hair and washed my face, checking my appearance. My pajamas were light blue and consisted of a loose baby doll and some shorts. I really liked them, but I always felt bad sleeping in them because they were just so pretty. Now I had an excuse to wear them though.

I got out of the bathroom and walked to stand in front of my door, knocking sharply.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

I heard nothing, and I got a little worried. I opened the door slowly, hoping he was already done changing. And silently hoping he wasn't done changing. When I opened the door fully, I scrunched my eyebrows together when I saw Eli's crouched body sitting on the edge of my bed grimly.

"Eli?" I called out quietly.

He lifted his head and looked at me, his eyes hooded and serious. "I'm ready to tell you about Julia," he stated bluntly.

My eyes widened and I immediately closed the door and went to him. He flinched slightly when I moved to sit next to him, and I frowned. I started to pick up his patterns; he usually started to revert to his cold self whenever he talked about a sensitive part of himself. I tried not to take it personally as I got my rolling chair and rolled it towards him, sitting in front of him. He was still crouched, resting his elbows on his knees and bowing his upper body. He looked up at me with sad eyes and straightened out a tiny bit, his elbows still pressed to his knees.

"I had just turned seventeen when I gave my first concert in New York City. I was extremely nervous, but it all went amazingly and I still remember the intense feeling of watching the filled up arena scream my name and sing along with the songs I had written. That's where the band and I met our first groupies, this group of girls that had gotten backstage passes to meet us. One of those girls was actually Fiona Coyne, Adam's love interest and keyboard player of GCJ, but the band wasn't together at that point. Then, there was Julia," Eli said, his voice hard as he spoke.

I listened attentively, knowing that this was taking a lot of effort from Eli and that this story is the reason why all of our problems started.

"Julia Locklear was my self-proclaimed biggest fan and told me that she was very excited that she was meeting me. Since the band still did not have the reputation to go out into the exclusive clubs, we all decided to just get to know each other. Julia and I...we really hit it off in those two hours. I fell for her, and she fell for me. So I kept in touch with her even after I left to California where the band and I were going to record our new album, and we eventually met again in New York and we started dating. We managed to find a way to see each other, with her in a performing arts school and me with my elevating career. We dated for a year and we were completely happy. We had our fights, but I really did find happiness with her...She was my first love," he said quietly, his voice cracking at the end.

My heart was beating slowly, feeling it crack under his pained voice. I didn't want to hear it anymore, I didn't know if I could take it. I didn't want to hear of how he fell in love with Julia and was completely happy with her because I couldn't help the pang of hurt in my heart. I didn't want to hear of how this would end because I knew that Eli was telling me this to keep me with him, and I was making him relive some horrible memories. But he was ready to tell me, and I wasn't going to stop him. I wanted him to trust me more than anything.

"One day she told me that it had always been her dream to sing a duet with me. I jumped on the opportunity, knowing that she had a beautifully trained voice and I had the talent to write the perfect song. I showed her the song and we worked on it together, actually planning to record it for the new album coming out, but then one day at the recording studio, JJ came up to me and asked if he could talk to me. I went out for a while, leaving the band and Julia together in the recording studio. When I came back, I caught Julia making out with one of the band members of the group next door in the recording booth," he growled, his fists tightening.

"I was angry, we both were. Julia denied the entire thing, saying it was nothing and that I was misinterpreting, but I know what I saw. We said some things in the heat of the moment, screamed at each other, and she left the studio angrily. I was going to go after her, but I was just too angry at myself for letting this happen. Then Adam came into the studio and told me..." he was seething, angrily staring at the ground.

There was a pause as Eli clenched his jaw and panted silently. "...that Julia got hit my a car. She died."

I gasped in horror and wanted to cry.

He looked up at me, his eyes sad. "A lot of things happened after that, me spiraling down. Fitz and I fought a lot after that, going into disagreements all the time, my writing became a little darker and so did my musical theory, which led to this last album. You know, the crazy hard-core rock one? JJ told me to take my anger and guilt and turn it into my writing and it helped a lot. In the process, I became distant from everyone. I didn't want to feel the same pain I felt with Julia, and that's why it's so hard for me to open up. I have always kept to myself, but even more so with Julia," he whispered, and looked down at the ground.

"Eli, I am so sorry. If a relationship is the last thing you need, then I promise I don't mind waiting. I know you need your time, and I don't want to replace your memories with Julia," I said sadly, hating the words coming out of my mouth. But I loved him, and I wanted him to be happy.

"No!" he yelled, looking up at me with frantic eyes. "Please, don't."

I blinked and stared at his desperate eyes as he stared at me with his lips parted emotionally.

"I...I need you, Clare. Julia is in the past, and if this past year has taught me anything it's that I did not love Julia as much as I thought. I believed that I was, but I never truly was. You have taught me that I need to let go and move forward to a future that I know is better than staying swallowed up in my past," he confessed, his eyes watering.

I let the tears escape my eyes as I moved to the bed and hugged him softly, wanting to help him rid of the pain. He stiffened, before tightly winding his arms around me, clinging to me desperately as his hands moved to press me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried silently for his loss, feeling his wet tears drip down my shoulder as he buried his face in my neck tightly.

He was broken, but he wanted me to help him pick up the pieces. He was ready to let me in, and I was ready to love him.

* * *

Another long chapter for my beautiful readers and reviewers! Phew, that one took a while. Please forgive me if the transition was slow, but it was needed to base their relationship. You are NOT going to want to miss the next chapter. Why? Because it will contain a LONG waited confession and life-changing, earth-shattering events. Yeah, that's right. I think you know what I mean, hmmm? ;) It's going to be epic! Thank you for not giving up on me and giving me your wonderful feedback, that's what keeps me going.

Until next Friday! Off to watch Halo part one!

**WAZAM**


	10. Edge of Desire

**EARLY UPDATE! **Have I ever told you guys how much you surprise me? It's like, I can't even understand that I'm 20 reviews shy of 500 reviews in ten chapters! If it wasn't for your amazing reviews, I would have already deleted this story because it was such an unrealistic plot and I knew it. But wow, I'm just in shock right now. All I can say is THANK YOU to all of those who review each of my chapters with detail and those who add me to their favorites and alerts. Really, you are the fuel to my drive. Alright, so along with some reviews, I got A LOT of questions. So here I am to answer them all, my wonderful readers:

1. You do know that Degrassi is set in Toronto?  
Yes, I do know it is set in Toronto, but for the sake of the story, I wanted to keep Toronto as a "big city" compared to the small, un-named town in which Clare resides in. How can I explain myself...I thought it would be a much bigger deal if Degrassi was in a small, unheard of town where hardly anything happens and Toronto is the city where Eli and Clare met and signify a larger meaning. So by saying that Clare lives in a small town, it kind of makes it a little more surreal. I don't know, I'm crazy. Sorry if I confused anyone!

2. The last chapter still didn't explain Fitz' hostility towards Eli and Clare, are you doing that on purpose or is it a typo?  
I assure you, it is not a typo. I know that the story line is still a little sketchy at this point, but in due time everything will make sense. When you finally read why Fitz does not want Eli and Clare together, you're gonna say "OMGWTFBBQ I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!" That's what I'm going for. So, just stay with me and you'll finally get the answers you deserve.

3. Eli's reaction to Julia to Fitz and his story to Clare don't really add up, what's up with that?  
Have you considered the option that perhaps your devious little writer is mixing up the stories on purpose...? That perhaps Eli is not exactly being honest...? Hmm...

4. So are you going to write another version of "Rockstar" but in Eli's point of view?  
Yes, it is official. Before any sequel is made to this story (if any), there will be another story with purely Eli's point of view. It will certainly answer a lot of questions, won't it? I was also considering just making the sequel in Eli's point of view rather than another version of Rockstar. _What do you think? Rockstar version two in Eli's point of view, or sequel in Eli's point of view?_

5. Okay so Eli's nineteen, two years before that he was seventeen and met Julia when he was seventeen...so he was talking to Clare while all this happened?  
This is correct, It sounds really horrible, like "Clare, Eli liked you the entire time but he was in love with Julia." Eli will explain, so don't worry your little heads off!

6. How do you write so much in a week and still make it awesome?  
Simple, I have no life. Nah, I'm just kidding, guys. I do have a life, an active one. It's just that when I have an idea, it's hard for me to stop writing. My average chapter is 5,500-8,000 and I write maybe two hours every other day. I don't know, is that weird? Whatever, more chapters for you. :) This one in particular took me a little longer to write, but I think it'll be worth it. Speaking of which, I have officialy decided that it is impossible for me to keep the quality of my chapters while updating twice a week, so I'm sorry but I will only update once a week.

Any more questions? I'll be happy to answer! Why? Because I love everyone's amazing, positively inspiring reviews! Seriously, if I could, I would send each and every one of you a one-paged long message saying how much your reviews fuel my writing drive, but it's either that or more chapters. So, I'm going for choice number two, but I do wish that I had the time to thank you for my 400+ reviews! Never in my life, wow! Oh, one last Q&A:

7. So, I love this story and all, but why the heck is this story rated M?  
**You want to know why it's rated M? Get ready, ladies and gentlemen, because we're finally going to live up to the rating! Yeah, that's right. We're going there, finally! If you don't like the rating, then you shouldn't be reading in the first place. Please, feel free to bask in the rated M goodness of this beautiful chapter. I hope it lives up to the expectations!**

While reading the end of this chapter, I suggest you listen to "Edge of Desire" by John Mayer, because it was my inspiration. If you don't like him, then you don't have to listen to it. I just really loved that song and thought if fit their relationship perfectly. I would like to acknowledge one of my reviewers who sent me the most beautiful review of all time. **OhMyMunro**, this chapter is for you. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I own a room with orange walls, not Degrassi. Nor do I own "Edge of Desire" by John Mayer.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 10._

"Mmm, Clare. It's time to wake up," a delicious voice whispered in my ear

I groaned and turned around in my sleep, sighing when I snuggled into the warmth. A deep chuckle rolled, cool fingers running through my golden tangled tresses. I smiled as I arched my neck into the pleasurable fingers caressing my hair, feeling at peace. I hadn't slept this well in a while and I didn't want to wake up just yet.

"Come on, blue eyes. I promised we would meet the guys for lunch. We have to get up," the voice lulled, wrapping a lazy arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

I inhaled deeply, the masculine scent filling my senses. I slowly fluttered my eyes open, a shirt-clad chest the first thing I see. I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his slow heart beat against my hand. I looked up and blushed lightly as Eli lay next to me, twirling his long fingers in my bangs. I looked down and laughed; he didn't even bother to change last night, we just fell asleep with our tight jeans. I remembered what happened yesterday and snuggled deeper into his chest. Eli had told me about Julia last night, completely opening up. I knew he only scratched the surface of the fine details, but he had already told me a lot more than I expected. I felt Eli shuffle next to me, leaning his head down to kiss my forehead lightly.

"Good morning," I whispered, closing my eyes and relishing the feeling.

"More like good afternoon. It's already noon," Eli chuckled.

I groaned and buried my face in his chest. He smelled so amazing; I just wanted to stay here forever. I turned in his arms and squinted as the sun's light shone through my curtains. I rubbed my eyes and picked up my phone on my bedside table, checking it. He was right, it was already noon. Eli's arm around me pulled me back, pressing his body to my back. As I checked my text messages, I felt his chin rest on my shoulder, watching me. I closed my phone and turned my head to look at him in amusement.

"Can I help you?" I giggled.

"Yes, yes you can," he stated smugly, leaning down to kiss my lips softly.

I smiled and sat up slowly, bringing him with me. I swung my legs to the edge of the bed and stretched, still feeling groggy from the most amazing sleep ever.

"How did you sleep? Besides feeling uncomfortable with jeans," I asked, walking over to my closet as Eli sat on the edge of the bed.

"I slept beautifully, soundlessly. I haven't slept like this in a while," he admit, running a hand through his sexy bed head.

I nodded as I went through my closet. "Yeah, me too. I've noticed that I sleep better when you're with me," I said, blushing.

I heard him stand up and come behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck sweetly.

"May I use your shower?" he asked.

I snorted. "What kind of question is that? No, Eli, you can't use my shower."

He chuckled and removed himself from me, coming to my side to bump my hips, making me wobble. He laughed and went to his bag on the floor.

"Whatever, Clare. I know you like me dirty," he grinned, slinging it over his shoulder.

I stuck out my tongue and picked out some dark jeans, a blue elbow-length shirt, a light floral cardigan to go on top, and my black boots.

"It's the last door on the left, okay? I'm gonna shower in my parent's room," I smiled. "Do you wanna borrow my dad's shampoo? Or do you want to smell like chamomile shampoo and kiwi mint body soap?"

He opened his bag and fished out his dark colored shampoo bottle. "I'm all man, baby," he winked, walking out of the door and to the bathroom.

My heart raced and I had to lean against my wall as I smiled like a fool. I could get used to this.

**oooooooooo**

_Hey, the Dot for lunch? We so need to talk, missy!  
-Alli_

I sat in the kitchen, chewing on a piece of toast, as I waited for Eli to get ready. My hair was still wet and it was a little chilly outside, but I felt perfectly at peace. I loved winter time, especially mid-November like it was now.

_Definitely! Let's say in 10? I'm really hungry  
-Clare_

I heard loud footsteps pound down the stairs, then approach the kitchen. I looked up and smiled as Eli walked in, looking as gorgeous as ever. He was wearing a long-sleeved, maroon sweater rolled up to his elbows, black skinny jeans, a white scarf, his usual wrist bands and rings, a studded belt, and plaid boots. He was the only man I knew that could pull off plaid boots.

"So you wanna come down with the guys and I for lunch at the Torres house?" he asked, leaning on his elbows on the table top.

I pursed my lips and shook my head. "I promised Alli we'd meet up at the Dot for lunch," I said, taking the final bite of my toast.

Eli pouted, then smirked. "That's understandable. She probably thinks I took advantage of you last night," he commented sarcastically.

_For reals! I'm on my way :)  
-Alli_

I stood up and went for a glass of waters to take my daily vitamins and pills. "Probably," I laughed. "But she'll probably bow down at your feet for actually corrupting my pure, innocent soul," I laughed, grinning mischievously.

Eli chuckled and inspected the bottle of vitamins that I started to swallow. Then, his eyes fell on the one bottle that I knew he had to comment on. His eyes widened and he picked up the bottle in disbelief.

"Birth control pills? Whoa whoa, Clare. Am I missing something?" Eli teased, staring at me incredulously.

I took the bottle from him playfully and took out one pill, swallowing it with water.

"It's not like that! My dermatologist prescribed them to me when I was fourteen to help my skin. I used to have really bad skin when I was younger, and birth control pills actually do help certain skin types," I stated intellectually.

His eyebrows lifted, amused. Then he shrugged and accepted my knowledge, making me smile in victory as I chugged the rest of my water and placed it in the sink.

"So let's say, theoretically, you fall in love with me right now and beg me to take you. Would you worry about having a condom?" he asked playfully, but I could tell that he was being serious.

I smirked with what I hoped came off as seductive and grabbed my black purse on the counter. "Why? Are you in love with me right now?" I asked.

"Hey, we're talking about you right now," he retorted, enjoying our banter.

"Well, that's what birth control pills do, don't they, Eli?" I teased. "No, I wouldn't need a condom. But I'm not in love with you, so that just became trivial," I said quickly, defending myself.

"Hmm, interesting, Miss Edwards. Didn't your mom get suspicious as to why you were taking birth control pills?" he asked.

"Nope, because Dr. Collins said the pills have improved my skin immensely," I grinned. "So I'm gonna give you the extra set of keys so that you could come in if you need anything. Just don't throw a party or anything like that," I said, changing the subject.

He wiggled his eyebrows and grabbed the keys from my hands, putting them in his pocket along with his phone. He pat his back pockets and nodded when he felt his wallet. I giggled and turned on the alarm, walking out of the door with him by my side. I locked the door and sighed, taking in the cool breeze of the day. Eli took out his keys and twirled them in his index finger.

"So, do you want a ride to the Dot?" he asked.

"It's okay, I can walk," I replied.

He stopped and stared at me like I was crazy. "No girlfriend of mine is going to walk by herself looking as amazing as she does. Come on," he smirked, opening the passenger door to Morty.

I blushed and hopped in, waiting for him to come to the driver's side. Once he was seated, he turned on the ignition and it purred to life. He backed out of my driveway and drove to the Dot. I was surprised that I didn't have to tell him where to go; I guess he came down more often than I thought. After a short, comfortable ride, he stopped in front of the Dot and smiled.

"If you need me, you have my number," Eli said, smirking lightly.

I smiled and leaned forward, meaning to kiss him on the cheek, but he turned his head at the last minute and captured my lips, kissing me so deeply that I felt it all the way to my toes. I leaned back and sighed in content. I opened my eyes and scoffed when I noticed his smug little grin. What an asshole! He knew what he was doing to me.

"You suck, Eli," I commented playfully, opening the door to the hearse.

"Ouch!" he gasped, chuckling as I almost tripped on my way out.

I stuck out my tongue and closed the door, watching him drive away. When I turned to the restaurant, people that were on the outside tables were giving me weird looks, making me blush. I quickly walked inside, sighing as the heat warmed me up. I quickly spotted Alli on a booth next to the window and slid in front of her. She looked up and smiled, putting her phone away and giving me her undivided attention.

"Clare! Oh my god, you little minx, what happened last night?" she exclaimed, making heads turn.

I hid my face and blushed, telling her to shut up. The waiter came up to us to take our orders, and we ordered some cheeseburgers with curly fries and strawberry lemonades. When he was gone, Alli crossed her arms and lifted her eyebrow curiously. I sighed and leaned in closer, avoiding having anyone hear me. I told her everything that happened, from Eli appearing at my door, to the restaurant and the car, and to Eli's history. I trusted Alli with all of my heart, and with my twelve years of friendship I knew that even if she loved gossip, she never told anyone my secrets. That's what I loved about Alli, she kept some sort of balance in herself when it came to her true friends.

"Wow...no wonder he was so messed up in the interview," Alli said, leaning back and staring at me.

"I know, I didn't realize it was that bad," I added just when our food arrived.

"There's still one thing I don't understand, though," Alli said, eating a fry. "Why did Eli get so mad at the interview then? I mean, don't you think he was over-reacting? He broke Fitz's jaw out of anger. It makes more sense that he would've been sad rather than angry."

I shrugged. "I think that's understandable, but there's one thing that really does bug me a little," I said, taking a bite of my burger.

"What?"

"We met two years ago, and two years ago he was dating Julia. He told me he was in love with her, but he said he liked me, too. It doesn't make sense," I said, hoping she had better insight.

Alli nodded to herself and ate silently. "Well, when I talked to Drew last night, he did tell me something about that. He came over last night for a few minutes, it was an unexpected surprise," she said.

"Whoa, what? What did he say?" I asked with a smirk, curious now.

"Well at the time I didn't know the story, but he did tell me that at one point he was pretty bummed, and Adam secretly confided in Drew to tell him that a girl he was interested in had mentioned that she had a boyfriend. This girl obviously being you," she said.

"KC...? Okay, that makes a little more sense..." I murmured, sipping on my lemonade.

"In my opinion, I think he tried to get over you since he knew you were taken and found Julia. I don't know, that's just what I think," Alli commented.

I sighed and agreed, wanting to change the subject. So then, of course, Alli started talking about Drew. She told me that he came over yesterday when all of the girls were at her house and that it was a riot. Thank goodness her parents thought it was because of the movie they were watching and didn't come down to check up on them, but still. She said that the girls decided to leave if they got details later, which Alli agreed to, and stepped outside with Drew. She told me that the kissed her and told her he really liked her.

As her best friend, I had a critical eye. I knew that Drew was kind of a player and I told her this, but she said that he had been completely different with her and she was also being cautious. I promised that I would ask Eli what Drew thought of Alli, just for precautions. After we were done with our food, we ordered some hot chocolate to heat us up for the cool air and talked about anything and everything.

Then all of a sudden, some weird guy wearing a tuxedo, sunglasses, a top hat, and had a scruffy beard just randomly came and sat next to me on the booth. Alli and I stopped talking and looked at the stranger weirdly as he just sat there, not even smiling.

"Uh...hello?" I asked.

"Hey, pretty lady. What's shakin'?" an awfully familiar voice said in a deep voice.

I stared at him a little longer, as he stared at me. He lowered his sunglasses and smiled sheepishly. Alli and I squealed in unison.

"Adam?"

"SHHH!"

"Oh, sorry..."

Adam smiled and leaned back, putting his arm around me and acting very suave. "So what brings you fine ladies to this fiiiine establishment?" he teased, making us laugh.

"We just finished eating and ordered some hot chocolate. Why are you here?" I asked, interrogating him. "And wearing…that?"

"Yeah, aren't the guys supposed to be at your house?" Alli asked.

"Oh well, about that..."

"TOP O' DA MORNING TO YA, LADIES!"

Two other guys that matched Adam's tuxedo, sunglasses, facial hair, and top hat came into the restaurant looking like they were Jewish mediocre singers at a bar mitzvah. I blushed in embarrassment as everyone in the restaurant stopped and stared as one slid in next to Alli and the other grabbed a chair and straddled it with the back to his chest. I laughed so hard as I watched the two idiots grabbing some granola bars from our cookie tray and eat them with crumbs catching on their excessive facial hair.

Adam grinned and shook his head. "I thought we were going for the subtle entrance, guys," he laughed.

Drew, the one at Alli's side, pursed his lips and shook his head with exaggeration.

"That was a wee bit of an understatement, lad," he said in a horrible Irish accent.

"What's with the Irish accent?" Alli laughed, poking his beard.

"Well, we just decided to be a bit more international with our clothing," Eli nodded, his Irish accent slightly better.

"Oh right, and what you're wearing is definitely Irish," I said sarcastically, sticking out my tongue as Eli scowled.

Our waiter came back, holding his note pad close as he stared at the boys weirdly. "Uhhh...?"

"No thank you, laddie, we're just visiting the ladies here," Eli chanted, grinning through his beard, earning a confused look from the waiter.

"Oh God," I groaned, hiding my face. "You couldn't wear the furry mustache and beanie?"

"No, because we're in the light of day now and you never know who we' gonna see," Eli said gruffly, amused.

I rolled my eyes and Adam laughed at me. He poked my side, making me jump and giggle. I really liked Adam, he was a really open and friendly person. As I played around with him, I realized that he and Eli were absolutely different. I don't know how they became friends, but somehow it worked for them. It was kind of like Alli and I, but a little more extreme. Either way, I'm glad there was someone in the band that was actually somewhat normal.

"So why are you interrupting our girl talk?" Alli asked, sipping on her hot chocolate.

"Because we wanted to know if you girls were interested in taking up a proposition," Drew stated, taking off his sunglasses.

I raised an eyebrow and waited patiently.

"We just so happened to talk to JJ this afternoon and might have mentioned that we really wanted our number one fans to come with us on our last concert of the tour," Adam smiled, taking a cookie from me.

"So we just might happen to have two VIP tickets for our concert in Vancouver on Monday with your names on them," Drew grinned.

Alli and I frowned at each other and I felt so awful.

"You know we would absolutely love to be there, but we can't go," I broke the news, biting my lip.

"What, why?" the boys asked in unison, pouting.

"Are you kidding? I can't just say I'm going on another field trip starting today, and Clare's parents return tomorrow. There's no way we can pull off going to Vancouver and back," Alli frowned.

The three boys sighed, but nodded their heads in acceptance. Eli looked at me and pouted, and my heart sank. I really, really, really, REALLY wanted to go see them again. If it was up to me, I would follow Eli to every single performance and watch him, but I can't. The semester is almost over and I can't afford to miss school. Plus, I already stretched my boundaries by sneaking out in the weekend; I can't possibly risk going out again while my parents were in town. I always knew that my time with Eli would be limited; it's just the time we put in between that mattered. I already knew that eventually we would have to separate, but we would always meet up again.

"Aw man, I'm kind of bummed now," Drew frowned, putting his head down.

"Don't be! We can still watch you guys on TV and cheer for you back home," Alli assured, patting his back soothingly.

After a few minutes of conversation, we actually left the restaurant with many not-so-subtle glances from civilians. As we walked down the side walk to Eli's hearse, I felt his hand pull on my wrist and stopping me from walking. Adam, Drew, and Alli proceeded to walk away while I turned to Eli in curiosity.

"So Clare...I'm not gonna be able to see you after this weekend? When do your parents get back?" he asked gloomily.

"They get back Monday afternoon, so you can still spend all day tomorrow with me. Unfortunately, you are going to have to leave to do your concert without me," I nodded, wanting to kiss away his frown.

"Well then, I guess I'll just have to take as much time as I can with you this weekend. You wanna go hang out?" he asked.

I was about to answer, but Adam called us from the hearse, begging him to open the doors. I smiled and looked at him.

"Maybe we should hang out with everyone, too," I suggested.

He nodded, lifting his chin. "Later?"

"Later," I agreed.

**oooooooooo**

For the rest of the afternoon, the boys, Alli, and I basically drove around and went on urban adventures (without their crazy get-up). Our day was spontaneous and something that would have probably seemed boring to me before, but just hanging out with the guys and getting to know them was more fun than the urban adventures. They were so goofy together; it was completely different than how they deemed to be. In all of their posters and album covers, they just seemed like a bunch of bad-asses. Their music was rock and alternative, and you'd think that a bunch of brooding, deep guys were the originators behind the songs. Turns out, it's a bunch of crazy hooligans behind the punk rockers.

Adam was a complete sweet-heart. He always tried to fit in with the older Drew and Eli and make snarky comments, but didn't fool the two. He was really funny and was the optimist of the group. Besides Eli, he was the one who I got along with the most. Drew was just an idiot. He was smooth, charming, and totally suave, but his high-pitched laughs and immature jokes always gave him away. I loved Drew, he was much deeper than he seemed and really kept the party going with ideas and 'your mom' jokes. Wow. What Alli saw in him, I don't know. Eli was...Eli. He was the brooding, sarcastic intellectual of the group. He was just a bad-ass with epic wins, dramatic body language, and smug attitude. I realized even more now that being with Drew and Adam was really important to him, because they meant a lot to him. In public, he was always arrogant. Here, he could be as stupid as he wanted to be and it was okay.

I felt like I was intruding in their bonding, but they insisted that they loved my company as well as Alli's. It felt surreal that Proxemics actually wanted Alli and I to hang out with them, to become a part of their social circle. The entire afternoon, I couldn't help but feel the strong magnetic pull towards Eli that had not been there before. My eyes would always somehow find him, and when he would look back at me it was like everything was right. I would catch him staring at me at times, shamelessly eyeing me up and down and making me blush. All day, I had wanted to tell him how I felt about him. My heart pounded whenever I was near him, because I knew that he felt the shift between us. We had technically only met a week ago, but we knew more about each other than most people did.

By the end of the day when we dropped off Alli, Drew, and Adam, I knew I had to tell him today.

We arrived at my house at nine without belly's full of pepperoni pizza and cheese sticks. We were such fatty's. Eli plopped on the couch with a sigh as I turned on the lights and plopped next to him, smiling.

"So blue eyes, did you have fun today?" Eli asked smugly, leaning on the arm rest of the couch.

I nodded. "Yes I did, I really liked hanging out with everyone."

"They really like you too. Especially Adam," he chuckled to himself. "I'm glad they can see the amazing person that I see in you every day. You're really something special," Eli said calmly, taking off his scarf.

There was a comfortable silence, and my heart started to flutter and my stomach dropped suddenly. I knew it was the right time now, I couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I love you," I whispered, my heart soaring as the wonderful words finally left my lips.

Eli stared in a daze, his eyes wide and his lips parted as an audible gasp broke the silence. My fragile heart dropped and the feeling of relief was replaced with dread. _He...doesn't feel the same way. He doesn't love me back_, was the only thought that crossed my mind as tears of embarrassment started to blur my vision. He didn't move, didn't speak. He was just sitting there, looking like I had just spoken in Chinese. The room air started to choke me, my muscles began to shake stiffly, and my stomach was contracting painfully.

Oh no. Oh no, no no no, no.

I stood up and ran up the stairs of my house, the tears flowing down my cheeks. I didn't care if he followed me or not, I just wanted to lock myself in my room and die. Once I reached my room, I slammed the door shut and locked it, letting my body crash down on the door and sob uncontrollably. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, hoping that it would somehow stop my body and my heart from breaking apart. I buried my head in my arms and let the enormity of my emotions course through my body. I can't believe I told him I loved him! I'm an idiot for thinking he loved me, too! I had been rejected by him before, but this one just topped everything. My sobs came louder, the rejection and embarrassment over-coming any other emotion in my body.

I felt the door knob twist and shake, followed by the vibrations of rapid knocking.

"Clare, open the door! Please, let me explain," Eli shouted through the door.

"No! Just go home Eli!" I shouted back, lifting my head from my arms and resting it on the door, my body relaxing slightly as the sobs broke through the room.

"Clare, please..." he pleaded. I have never heard his voice so desperate, it almost made me want to open the door. But then I remembered why I couldn't face him right now.

"I…have never been so humiliated!" I shouted, angry tears running down my cheeks. "I don't need you here trying to explain why you don't feel the same way. Just go!"

I heard him sigh, and his footsteps leave my door. I heard the front door open and then shut tightly, then nothing. I bit the sleeve of my sweater hard as the tears ran down again, feeling so frustrated that I could just punch something! I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to calm the hiccups escaping my lips. After a few minutes, I finally calmed down the sobs until there were only tears running down my face. I just wanted to go to sleep. I stood up and dragged my feet until I got to my closet. I picked out a red t-shirt and purple shorts and stripped of my clothes. I changed into my pajamas and turned on the lamp on my desk before I plopped onto my bed on my back, staring at the ceiling blankly.

I thought I heard the front door open, but I didn't pay much attention to it. I put my arm over my eyes and exhaled a shaky breath, my tears finally stopping. My phone buzzed then, seeing the screen light up with my mom's ID on it.

"Hello?"

"_Hi honey, how are you?_"

"I'm good, mom. You?" I replied, clearing my throat so my voice wouldn't sound so hoarse.

"_I'm doing good. I just wanted to check in on you. We're going to be back on Monday afternoon, as planned. Anything interesting happen today?_"

"No, nothing at all," I said flatly.

"_Alright. Are you okay? You sound a little down. Do you wanna talk about it?"_

"It's nothing, just a small fight," I said quietly.

"_With one of your friends? Alli?"_

"...Yeah."

"_Well I'm sure if you just let her cool down, you'll make up. You know how Alli can be, don't let it bother you. Everything is gonna be okay," _she said sweetly.

"Thanks mom," I smiled sadly, oh how my mother could be so clueless.

"_Okay, well I'm going to go now. Have a good night, sweetie. I love you."_

"I love you too, mom. Good night," I hung up.

I sighed. Now what?

That's when I heard strumming. I sat up, alarmed, and turned towards my closed door. Eli? I heard him mumble a few things, the sound of a pencil against a paper. Then I heard strumming, choppy and dis-coordinated. I huffed angrily. Was he trying to swoop me off my feet by singing me a stupid song? I heard no melody or words, just pauses and a few chords here and there. I sighed tried to block him out. He wasn't going to get me to open that door. After a few minutes of unsuccessful tuning out, a mellow, moving melody was being played outside of my door. I swung my legs to the edge of the bed and pursed my lips, hearing the chords finally come together.

_"Young and full of running_  
_Tell me where has that taken me?_  
_Just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity?"_

I hadn't heard this song before. I walked towards the door cautiously, pressing my ear on it to hear him better.

_"Love is really nothing_  
_But a dream that keeps waking me_  
_For all of my trying, we still end up dying_  
_How can it be?"_

My eyes widened and my heart picked up its pace at the lyrics. His voice was so beautiful, so raw and passionate. I unlocked the door and opened it slowly, a gasp when I saw him sitting on the floor, cross-legged, with his guitar on his lap. He had new music sheets sprawled on the floor in front of him and a pencil, reading the lyrics and notes he had just written, apparently. I gasped when his molten green eyes met mine as he sang the chorus:

_"Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me_  
_'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see_  
_I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believe_  
_There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me"_

Fresh tears started to run down my cheeks, listening to his heart-aching words. His chords messed up a little because he was trying to look at me as much as he could without reading the notes.

_"So young and full of running_  
_All the way to the edge of desire_  
_Steady my breathing, silently screaming_  
_I have to have you now_

_Wired and I'm tired_  
_Think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor_  
_Or maybe this mattress will spin on its axis_  
_And find me on yours"_

I covered my mouth with my hand as I smiled through my tears, feeling on a rollercoaster of emotions. He was telling me everything about his feelings with this one song.

_"Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me  
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see  
I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believe  
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me"_

He flicked his wrist one last time and let the beautiful chord ring through the empty house. He dropped his hands on his guitar and looked up at me, his intense eyes staring deep inside of me. I was speechless, silent tears trickling down my moist cheeks as my fingers covered my lips. He moved his papers carefully and placed his guitar on his side, standing up slowly and standing right in front of me. I could only stare at him incredulously as I watched him grab my wrist gently and move it from my lips. He leaned down and kissed my cheek softly. He placed slow butterfly kisses down my cheek, brushing away my tears. He switched sides and kissed away the small tears lovingly. I lifted my hands and clutched the front of his v-neck, wanting so much to look into his eyes. He placed one last lingering kiss on my right cheek before moving his head back to stare into my eyes.

I finally understood the light in his eyes, the emotion behind his clouded eyes. My heart fluttered and my fingers tightened their grip on his shirt as I read the message his eyes were trying to tell me, what his actions had told me this entire time.

"Clare…you might have said that you fell before I did…but I lost the bet days ago," he breathed, his voice rough and intimate.

My eyes widened slightly, putting his words together in my mind.

_"True love, waits, huh? Well there's only one loophole. I'm gonna make you fall in love with me."_

"Not unless I make you fall in love with me first!"

He lost, I won.

He loves me, too.

But we both won in the end.

No more words were needed, his eyes told me everything. I was ready, and he was too. He searched my eyes once, finding the answer he needed, and leaned down to press his lips to mine softly. I inhaled deeply as little sparks of electricity ran through my body, our lips moving together. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I let him kiss me, feeling his strong arms wrap around my waist sensually and press me against his long body. I whimpered as his lips moved slowly, lovingly, as if he had never kissed me before. I tilted my head and ran my fingers through his hair, feeling a desperate need to get closer to him and his intoxicating kisses. Our lips parted, but brushed as we gulped for air. He lifted one hand and cupped my cheek, nuzzling his nose with mine tenderly, affectionately. My eyes fluttered open and felt my heart skip a beat as I watched him pant on my lips, his eyes closed and his nose brushing mine.

"Clare," he said softly.

"Mmm?" I hummed, my mind clouding.

He stroked my cheek with his thumb, kissing my lips sweetly.

"I need you. So much," he breathed, his voice breaking as he skimmed his nose against my cheek until he had his face buried in my neck.

I lifted my right hand and stared at the silver ring on my finger before taking it off. I had made my decision. I lifted his face from my neck until he was standing up straight again, and reached for his hand. I held it in between my two hands and placed the small ring on his pinky ring, kissing it gently. He stared at me meaningfully, letting me do with him as I pleased. I kissed his fingertips, not breaking eye contact, before slowly bringing his hand to rest on my stomach.

"Love me, Eli," I whispered, watching his eyes darken and stare into mine.

He inhaled sharply before crashing his lips on mine urgently, pulling me flush to his body. He pressed his open hands to my lower back and pressed my hips into his, dominating and manipulating my body. I whimpered at the tenderness of his touches and pulled on Eli's shirt gently. He denied my request by pushing me into my room and closing the door with his foot, pressing me to the door and kissing my jaw line. I moved to get my hands under his shirt, but he caught my wrists and placed them on his shoulders firmly. I frowned; he wasn't going to have any of that tonight. The frown was replaced by a gasp when he placed his hands on my hips and leaned closer, his head dropping to the crook of my neck. My hands clutched his shoulders as I moaned softly, leaning my head to the side to let him make his way down my neck with hot, open-mouthed kisses. His hands were running up and down my sides fluidly, following the curves of my hips, my small waist, the sides of my breasts, and back down. My lips parted as the intoxicating sensation of Eli's soft lips moving down the length of my shoulder and sensual hands sent molten lava down my body.

I was shaking, my body vibrating with just the simple touch of his hands and slow kisses. It was too much, all of the love coursing through my body. He was taking his time with me, becoming familiar with me as he sucked and kissed my collarbone. I gasped and mewled, raking my hands through his hair and pulling in desperation to get him closer. He groaned softly and pressed me further into the wall, licking the hollow space where my shoulder met my neck. Hearing him groan only fueled my ecstasy, closing my eyes and gasping for breath. I arched my back sharply and opened my lips in a silent gasp when his cool hands slid under my shirt and pressed on a sensitive part of my lower back. I felt him smile against my neck and sprawl his hand over that spot again, making me gasp and convulse against him in pleasure. He slid his hands up my back slowly, bringing my shirt with them. I let go of his hair and lifted my arms, letting him remove my shirt. He threw it carelessly on the floor, not removing his eyes from mine. I smiled warmly, bringing him back to my lips again softly. I sighed when I moved my hands under his sweater, feeling his smooth muscles tighten against my fingertips. I felt a sudden urge to feel his skin against mine, so I slid my hands up, just like he did, until his sweater was almost completely off. He chuckled softly and lifted his arms, assisting me on removing it. I stared in awe as his muscles twitched and moved with every move he made.

He smiled and took me in his arms swiftly, lifting me gently while kissing me with excitement. I giggled and wrapped my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck, kissing him back with fervor. He walked around and then gently lowered me to my bed with impressive strength and control. I gazed longingly at him as he kicked off his shoes patiently, watching me with expert eyes. He placed a knee on the bed, pushing himself up until his tall frame was above mine completely. He straddled my legs and placed his hands on either side of my head, breathing deeply as he stared at me lovingly. I smiled and pressed my hands to his chest tentatively, softly smoothing his skin and gliding them up and down. He closed his eyes and exhaled shakily, letting me touch him as I pleased. I made my way up his strong neck and buried my hands in his hair, moving it away from his face above me. When he opened his eyes, warmth filled me. His usual playful, platonic eyes were now filled with emotion, dark with passion, and bright with adoration and love. Just like mine were. The fact that I was the only one who had ever seen him like this made my heart flutter.

He smiled softly, bringing one hand to caress my cheek. I felt the cool metal of my ring, his ring, on his pinky contrast with the heat of my cheek. He seemed to notice and looked down at his fingers, examining the new ring.

"You don't have to give this to me yet, Clare. If you're not ready-"

"Don't, Eli," I interrupted. "I'm ready," I smiled, giving him the reassurance he needed.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, his voice deeper.

I shook my head, closing my eyes and leaning closer to the heat of his hand. Honestly, I was a little bit nervous, but only because I didn't want to come off as awkward or ugly in front of him. I have never been this open with anybody.

A small smirk played on his lips as he lowered his body onto mine just enough so that our chests were touching and his breath was mingling with mine.

"How about now?" he whispered huskily.

My breath hitched and I squirmed, feeling anxious for his touch. "Eli, please..." I whimpered, moving my hands to his shoulders to try and push him further down.

He chuckled and kissed my lips softly. "Patience, blue eyes. Let me take care of you," he breathed deeply, moving his lips down my body achingly slow.

His lips sent shocks of heat up and down my body, making small moans escape my lips at his ministrations. When he reached the top of my breasts, he licked the outline of my peach lace bra teasingly, his eyes looking up at me. I gasped and arched my back slightly, bringing my hands to his hair again. My breasts were aching, pleading for his touch. He slid his hands behind my back to unclasp the bra, bringing down the straps with care. The straps were down, and Eli removed my bra completely, throwing it in the pile where our shirts lay. He stared into my eyes before slowly bringing his searching eyes down my body. I felt a blush rise from my neck up to my cheeks, embarrassed that his probing eyes kept staring shamelessly. I had the urge to cover myself, but I didn't because I wanted to surrender myself to this man.

"Let me love you..." Eli murmured, bringing his sprawled hands to my waist, thumbs inwards, and glided them up until they reached my breasts.

A moan escaped my lips when his hands finally cupped my breasts, applying pressure. I felt my nipples harden under his touch and arched my back, wanting more. He whispered something inaudible and leaned down, licking the underside of my right breast. I gasped, feeling his wet tongue move up slowly to my peak, circling it before bringing into his mouth. I cried out softly, my back arching into his mouth and my fingers tightening in his hair as he fondled and squeezed my left breast, teasing me mercilessly. He grunted softly, lowering his body until his torso pinned my lower body and continued his teasing. He withdrew his lips and blew on my nipple lightly, making me gasp at the sensation. He smiled in satisfaction and switched breasts, making sure to give it equal attention.

By the time he was done, I was already gasping for breath and trembling in ecstasy. Dear Lord, I was at the point of begging and I still had my shorts on! The things this man could do with his hands... I detangled my fingers from his hair as he lifted his body and kissed me again, this time with a fire and urgency that was not as present before. He licked my lips, and I opened them gladly, letting his skilled tongue dance with mine. Eli brought his hands to my upper back and pushed me up until our chests were pressed together tightly, a sharp moan of pleasure ringing out from both of us through our kiss. His hands traveled down until they reached the hem of my shorts, his thumb poking in and rubbing small circles on my hipbones.

"Eli..." I moaned, arching my hips off the bed.

He bit his lip softly and brought my purple shorts down to my knees, leaving me in my matching peach lace panties. Eli threw the offending material down the floor and caressed my thighs lovingly, looking up at me. The feeling of Eli's amazing hands so close to the place of my desire was already driving me insane, but when my eyes locked on his, I squirmed to get closer to him. I lifted my legs and attempted to hook my toes to Eli's jeans, pulling them down. He smirked and leaned back from me, kneeling up and moving his fingers on the button of his jeans. I sat up and placed my hands in his, wanting to take over a little. He smiled and let me fumble with the button and zipper of his dark jeans, my fingers trembling slightly in anticipation. Once it was lowered, he proceeded to lower them down, revealing his black boxers, and something very hard poking through it. I blushed as I watched him remove his jeans and kick them down, a little nervous about his size, but more excited. All my thoughts disappeared as he leaned forward and pressed his mouth flush against mine. Eli's strong arms wrapped around my waist and brought me close to him as he lowered me back down and straddled me. I arched my back as bolts of pleasure ran down my spine as I realized that Eli was dominating me. His hands and lips were so arousing and luscious, but as the inner masculine, possessive side of him started to take over, and my body went into over-drive. The heat in my belly started to grow unbearable, needing some sort of release. I lifted my hips up against his, hoping to find some friction. Eli broke the kiss and threw his head back, closing his eyes shut and opening his mouth.

"_God_...dammit, Clare," his groan of pleasure filled the room.

He dropped his head to mine again, panting against my lips hotly. I wanted to hear his throes of passion again, so I tried to lift my hips again. Eli's hands gripped my hips tightly, keeping them from moving, and I mewled in impatience. The room was silent except for our heavy pants starting to calm. I waited, watching as Eli gulped inaudibly and opened his eyes again, staring into mine. He slowed us down, and I was grateful for that because I wanted to take in every moment with him. The insane lust that drove our actions was replaced by something less heavy, but all the more intense. I leaned up and kissed him chastely, just loving his closeness to me. Our limbs were tangled and our hands were slowly tracing every curve and crevice of each other's bodies. My body was humming and I was so warm, filled with love for him. We were staring into each other's eyes, letting our emotions set in as his hands slowly caressed down my sides until he reached the waistband of my panties. He slowly slid them down, our breathing becoming heavy again. I wanted to remove his boxers, but I didn't want to leave his strong grip. He was holding me so tightly, like he never wanted to let go. Neither did I, not ever. So I hooked my toes to the waistband of his boxers and started to nudge them down until they were down his ankles. He kicked them off and I blushed as I looked at him for the first time. I didn't get to see much because in the next second, he pressed me to the mattress; our bodies flush against each other. I gasped, and he grunted.

Our eyes locked again, and I knew we were ready. This man was beautiful from head to toe, and he was all mine. He nudged my legs open gently and eased himself between them. I welcomed him with open arms as he lowered his body onto mine and supported most of his weight on his forearms on either side of my head. I gasped as I felt the tip of him tease my entrance, my belly starting to boil in anticipation. His face was etched with concentration, flipping his hair away from his eyes. I smiled lovingly as his hand smoothed away the bangs from my eyes and kissed me once, much slower than before, preparing me for the pain that was to come.

He broke the kiss and nuzzled my nose gently as I moved my hands to the back of his neck, twirling the small hairs. He searched my eyes, looking for any hesitation, and found none. He cradled my head with his arms and lifted himself a little more, preparing himself. I gripped his shoulders tightly as I felt the tip of his cock start to push in gently. His head was bowed, hiding his eyes, and he panted and shook with restraint as he slowly eased himself inside of me, stretching me to my limit. I bit my lip to keep from crying out as tears welled up in my eyes, the pain of the intrusion overwhelming me. When he was fully sheathed, he exhaled sharply and gasped, panting against my neck as he tried to gain control of his movements to let me get used to him.

Despite the pain, I felt complete for the first time. I loved having him so close to me like this. Feeling his breath and small, soothing kisses on my neck...his warmth all over...his amazing scent...his strong body pressed to mine in the most masculine, intimate, and dominating way. Eli was murmuring sweet words of apology as my grip on his shoulders slackened slightly, willing my body to relax. Once my inner muscles contracted and relaxed, I felt an overwhelming shock of pleasure trickle up my spine. I gasped and rotated my hips against his, letting him know I wanted more. Eli groaned and rolled his hips back tentatively, picking up his head to look into my eyes. Pleasure shot through my body as he paused momentarily. His eyes were clouded and dark, the control starting to waver.

He moved his hips back, and then started to thrust slowly. I gasped and whimpered, mesmerized by his intense stare as I followed his achingly slow thrusts. I moaned and pressed my hands on his back, meeting his thrusts a little faster. He trembled with restraint and grunted, picking up his pace.

Oh..." I gasped, wrapping my legs around his waist to bring him closer, sucking him deeper into my body.

Eli grunted my name in pleasure and thrust faster, his hips thrusting in and out at a controlled, deep rhythm. I whimpered, wanting desperately for him to lose control. I could see that he was too afraid of hurting me, but I wasn't having that. I locked my ankles around his lower back and moaned loudly when Eli groaned passionately and started to thrust faster, harder. This new angle gave him the best penetration, which made both of us lose our control. Our breathing quickened as I met each of Eli's delicious thrusts, shamelessly crying out louder and louder with each thrust as the pleasure ran through my veins.

"Eli, ah!" I cried out, willing him to go faster.

Eli's eyes darkened immensely as he groaned and he twisted his hips sharply, hitting a spot inside of me that made me cry out in intense pleasure. His arms trembled until they gave up and his entire weight fell on me, his cock still plunging deeply into me. I gasped, the air stolen from my lungs as I wrapped my arms around his back. I thought I would feel suffocated, but the feeling of Eli's full weight on me only made me see blinding lights behind my eyes. Eli grunted and tried to get back up on his forearms, but I wrapped my legs tighter around his undulating hips and dug my nails in his back.

"Mm, Clare..." Eli grunted huskily, as his hips pounded erratically against mine.

I arched my back, moaning in approval. His tip was hitting a spot inside of me repeatedly with impressive force, the pleasure so immense that I felt it everywhere. His sinfully dark eyes gazed at me as my moans became louder, uncontrollable, and beads of sweat rolled down our faces. He kissed my lips hotly as he gave a particularly hard thrust, making me scream out his name. Eli's hands dragged down my heated arms slowly with each powerful thrust, reaching for my hands. I intertwined our fingers and held on tightly, the simple display of affection sending shivers down my arched back. I felt the boiling lava in my belly coil, each thrust tightening it up further. I was so close, and by the way his jaw clenched tightly and the muscles of his neck contracted, I could tell he was too. He grunted my name, and I opened my eyes to gaze into his loving ones. I could have wept at the raw passion in his eyes.

"Clare..._fuuuuckkkk_!" Eli cried out, bringing our intertwined fingers above my head as his thrusts became deep and long, feeling every single part of Eli inside of me. I didn't like it when he cursed, but when he cried out awash in pleasure, it just turned me on all the more. My breath hitched as the coil in my belly tightened and exploded brilliantly.

"Uh...Ahh...ELI!" I screamed, pleasure so intense shooting through my body that my toes curled and my hips bucked uncontrollably.

Eli lost control of his rhythm, pumping sporadically. He groaned as his thrusts started to slow down, riding out our orgasms. When it was over, we were panting for breath. I was so overwhelmed that I felt like I was going to pass out. Eli slowly retracted his hips with a hiss, untangled our hands, and moved to lay beside me. I whimpered from the loss of heat, but sighed when he wrapped his arms around me. I gasped when I felt his body tremble as his arms collected me to him. He was panting wildly, bringing my moist body to his and bury his head in the crook of my neck. I sighed, snuggling into him as he lifted the covers over our intertwined limbs. My legs felt sore and shook with effort and I knew it would be very difficult to walk for a while, but I knew it would be worth it. He was worth it.

This was nothing like Alli had described it She told me that the first time is always unpleasant, no matter who it was with. She said that guys are usually selfish and take pleasure rather than giving, and they don't learn to do that until much later when they learn about the partner's likes and dislikes. She even told me that the woman rarely ever has an orgasm until the second, maybe even third, time they have sex. As Eli shook around me and held me to him like a life-line, I knew we were different. Eli wasn't like everybody else; he actually wanted to please me before himself, in every sense of the word. Obviously, Eli could be self-centered and selfish, but...he loved me. This wasn't just to satisfy the sexual tension or relieve the lust. This was love.

"Eli, you're trembling," I whispered, running my fingers through his wet locks.

He kissed my shoulder weakly, inhaling deeply as he held me closely. He was hiding something.

"Please, tell me?" I pleaded, not wanting him to close off again.

He lifted his head slowly and lay his head in front of mine, searching my eyes desperately as our breathing started to slow again. He leaned forward and kissed me achingly slow, taking a deep breath.

"_I love you, too_."

* * *

Wow. How I wrote almost 11,000 words before Friday, I will never know! I hope my lemon wasn't awful, I tried really hard. I'm sorry it wasn't too sexy, but it was their first time, you know? I also have no experience whatsoever so...yeah. Constructive critisism is welcome, just please don't be too harsh! I have been trying to improve my lemons and I hope to continue writing them throughout this story and perhaps some one-shots as well. Tell me what you think? Pretty please? You know how much I love your love!

By the way, I just had to say this. I don't know if you're aware that in this years Gemini Awards, they created a fan tribute video to celebrate their 30 year anniversary. Yours truly sent a video, and was on Canadian television for two beautiful seconds. My heart soared when I saw it~!

**WAZAM**


	11. Yours

I am very sorry for the mix ups in the last chapter. As I explained to some, I did not edit my last chapter enough and just wanted to post it up. Not my best decision, but now it's fixed and it won't happen again! Thank you for those who were kind enough to tell me about my mistakes in a non-hating manner! Now that the actual Degrassi is finished (which did not end in the best way ever), Fridays will be mine. BY THE WAY! **I have a twitter account now**! So now you can follow me and see the progress of the chapters and news. The webpage is on the homepage link of my profile. Or you can look me up:

_the_WAZAM_

As for Adam and your many questions, you'll find out in this chapter! I was waiting a bit for it to come up in the story as Clare and Eli's relationship progresses. Aren't you happy there isn't so much drama? Yet...Oh yes, it's going to get good.

**WARNING! **This chapter does contain inappropriate sexual scenes, so please enter at your own risk and don't send me hate mail for it.

**Disclaimer: **I own a grand piano in my living room, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 11._

Bliss.

I was in complete and utter bliss when I woke up the next morning. My legs were sore, my throat was a little scratchy, and my whole body felt like jelly. I didn't care, though. The minute I opened my eyes and saw Eli's peaceful, sleeping face next to mine, I forgot about all of the pain. He treated me like a goddess last night, like I was made of glass and sugar. He was patient and loving with his hot kisses and sweet touches. Elijah Goldsworthy was in love with me, and I with him.

I was floating.

I shifted my legs and winced slightly, knowing I would have to be gentle today. I blinked and licked my lips as I watched the morning light frame Eli's face like a holy halo, his thick eyelashes heavy against his cheeks and his pink lips slightly parted. I looked down and blushed, our naked bodies pressed together under my purple covers. In the morning, I would wake up and sometime's Eli's arm was around my shoulder or he would have his head in the crook of my neck. Now his body language was completely different. Our legs were still tangled together, his arm was wrapped tightly around my waist, possessively, and his face was right in front of mine as he breathed in and out gently. I sighed and looked at the rings on his left hand on the pillow, my True Love Waits ring winking with the light.

I don't regret giving it to him, in every sense of the word, but I knew that I would have to explain why I didn't have it on. I mean, I always had an image in my head about how everything would go. I would go to college and get my degree, start my own business, then I would fall in love with the man of my dreams. We would have a traditional relationship where he would take me out on the first few awkward dates, then we'd go steady and I'd meet his parents and he'd meet mine. Then, he'd ask for my hand and get we'd married in a beautiful garden setting in front of a priest. I always pictured my first time on my honeymoon, somewhere, on a bed with white sheets and dark wood. It was so cliché, but I always knew that I would find my true love once I was older.

In a way, I kind of felt lost now. I could never regret what I did with Eli, because it was perfect and everything I could have ever wanted. Yet, I felt like I had no control. All my life, I always handled situations and took control over them. I never liked taking too many risks because then I would lose the grasp of reality and feel weak. With Eli, there was never any control. We slept in the same bed before going out on a date, we professed our secrets before having a deep relationship, I had my first dirty dancing before I knew his true feelings for me, and now I gave my virginity to this man after a week of physically knowing him. I didn't even recognize who I was when I was with him, but then again...maybe who I am now, with Eli, is who I really am and not that control freak in my past.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

I loved Eli, completely. I am in love with this man and he probably doesn't even know how much. I don't know where my life is going now; after last night, I'm sure that I cannot control everything in my life like I used to when I was younger. I know that I don't have to be dependent on Eli, but he's the only stable thing in my life right now. I mean, I had school and a bit of my parents (what with their divorce, and whatnot), but Eli was slowly bringing me out of my shell. The real me. I didn't want to lose that just yet. I want to discover myself with him, and I want to continue being this happy for as long as I live.

Eli grunted in his sleep and unconsciously tightened his arm around my waist, bringing me closer to him. I snapped out of my deep thoughts and turned back to the gorgeous rock star in front of me. I couldn't help but notice his hard length poking my stomach, making me smirk slightly. I tentatively shifted my hips towards his and felt his length glide across my skin. He breathed out my name and thrust lazily back with me, his grip unfazed. I smiled and brought my top leg on top of his slowly, aligning our hips together and making the two of us gasp. He was still asleep, but his brows were pinned together and his jaw was clenched as he continued to thrust against me, grunting softly. I smiled and leaned forward, lightly kissing and licking his tan neck. I squealed in surprise when both of his hands suddenly held onto my hips and pinned me down, one hundred and twenty pounds of determined male hovering over me with dark hooded eyes.

"Stop trying to rape me in my sleep, crazy fan girl," he said huskily, lust and sleep evident in his eyes.

"You started it, you sex predator," I teased, blushing slightly.

He lifted a perfect eyebrow. "I was just sleeping, innocent as a baby, when I suddenly felt my beautiful girlfriend rub up against me. How did I start this?"

"You started this by being so handsome in your sleep," I said, happy that I could say that without being accused of being an obsessed fan girl...wait...never mind.

"Touché," he chuckled lusciously, leaning down and kissing me deeply.

I moaned as I kissed him back with as much passion as I could muster. I spread my legs slightly so that he could rest between them and sighed in pleasure when he pressed his body to every curve of mine. He broke the kiss and made his way down the side of my neck, licking and sucking hotly as he rotated his hips to mine, teasing me. I whimpered and pulled on his hair roughly, an animalistic desire surfacing and making me anxious for him. He grinned like a fool and ran his hand up my bent leg, holding onto my thigh and hitching it up his hips. I hid the slight wince that threatened to escape as the pain between my legs throbbed slightly. Nothing escaped Eli's detailed eyes, however. He traced my right breast with his free hand and leaned upwards, leaving me hot and bothered. He opened his eyes and stared, analyzing.

"How sore are you?" he asked softly.

I bit my lip and arched my back into his long fingers. "It doesn't hurt, I promise. Just...please?" I whimpered.

He smirked and palmed my breasts, giving into my desires as I mewled in pleasure. I squirmed underneath him as I dragged my hands to his biceps, pulling to get his hard body on mine again.

"You don't have to lie to me, blue eyes. I don't want to hurt you more than I already have," he said, leaning down to give a long lick to my nipple. "After all, I'm not exactly...built for innocence," he chuckled smugly, pushing his hard length into my hips as if to emphasize his point.

_Men_.

I rolled my eyes playfully and pushed on his shoulders sharply, making fall down on his back next to me. I smirked with victory as I crawled on top of my very surprised, very aroused boyfriend. He said he didn't want to hurt me, but I wanted him so badly that I didn't even care. I straddled his waist and propped myself up with my hands on his smooth chest. He brought his hands up my legs to hold my hips, but I swatted them away playfully. I gave him a warning look, and Eli raised his hands in surrender; he tucked his hands behind his head and lay back, watching me with sinfully dark eyes.

I blushed and leaned down, pressing my body with his. I heard him sigh softly as I kissed his neck, licking his Adam's apple softly. His skin was sweet and salty as I dragged my tongue down to his broad shoulders, biting softly. I felt Eli's arms tighten in tension as I ran my fingertips down his chest and made a circular motion up and down. He hissed sharply when I razed my short nails down his nipples, making me smirk. I leaned down and started to kiss his chest, loving the way his muscles contracted at my touch. He was absolutely, _freaking _beautiful. I was greedily kissing my way down his chest, memorizing the feel of his muscles beneath my fingers and the sounds of pleasure I was ringing out of him. I remember I would always have fantasies about him before I met him. I always dreamed of being able to admire his body, kiss him like no one ever had.

Now, here I was, licking and kissing his sun-kissed skin as he gripped his hair to restrain from touching me. I know he didn't want to succumb to me because he didn't want to lose the challenge, but I knew it was already getting hard for him. Literally. Wow, bad pun much? Focus, Clare! I moved down his body until my legs were straddling his and my lips were moving fluidly along the hard lines of his abdomen. My nerves were starting to get to me by the time I reached his hips. I moved to his right hip and nipped softly, licking and teasing. I heard Eli's breath hitch as I moved inwards, ignoring his hard center on purpose and moved to his other hip to repeat the process. I was moving slower as I got closer, making Eli growl impatiently.

"Clare..." he warned in a deep voice, staring at me with intense eyes.

"Yes?" I asked innocently, staring up at him through my thick eyelashes before poking out my tongue and licking the tip of his erection seductively.

His eyes snapped open and without any warning, he pushed me down to the bed and was suddenly surrounded by his hot body. I gasped, the air escaping my lungs as I stared up into his crazed eyes.

"You little devil," he growled darkly, before pressing his lips to mine.

He kissed me roughly, plunging his tongue into my mouth. Holy mother, this kiss was unlike any I've had before. His hands were moving all over my body, smoothing my curves, squeezing my breasts, massaging my thighs; I was completely overwhelmed with pleasure. Then, I felt his magical fingers working between my legs. I arched my back and gasped, and with a flick of his wrist, two of his fingers were pushed inside me. I let out a scream in surprise and slight pain, biting my lower lip as he began pumping them in and out rapidly, not bothering by starting off slow. I began taking gasping breaths as he worked my tight entrance with expert skills. Eli was panting along with me, grunting as he synchronized his rapid thrusts with his tongue on my body. I shot my arms out and grasped onto my sheets tightly, thanking the Lord for this man's amazingly long and skilled guitar fingers.

Then, he changed his angle and hit a spot inside of me that made my entire body freeze with the intense pleasure.

"Oh, God!" I screamed, feeling my abdominal muscles coil and release as my orgasm coursed through me.

"Yes?" Eli smirked, licking the beads of sweat on my collarbone as I panted wildly.

"Eli, stop being so cocky," I breathed, running my hand through my frizzed hair in a daze. Eli lay on his side next to me and played with my messed up bangs.

"Hmm...cocky?" he dragged, winking suggestively.

I gasped and laughed at his stupid joke. "Wow, Eli! Really?"

One night of sex, and he was already a pervert!

"Really," he chuckled, kissing my lips gently.

I looked down at our bodies and put my hand on his slick chest. "What about you? Can I...?"

He smiled and shook his head. "That's really sweet of you, blue eyes, but not now. I want this to be about you right now," he said.

I pouted and he chuckled, drawing lazy circles on my arm.

"I want to take care of you today until you're all better," he explained. I sighed and nodded, cuddling into him. "So...no regrets then?"

I looked up at him and stared into his curious eyes momentarily before shaking my head firmly, smiling. I searched for his left hand and took it in mine, intertwining them and admiring his rings. I slid my thumb over the silver True Love Waits ring on his pinky and smiled.

"I love you, Eli," I whispered, looking up with a little bit of fear.

He stared at our fingers, almost as if inspecting them together, before sliding the silver band with intricate patterns off of his ring finger. He then slid it onto my middle finger, fitting a little big but not enough to slide off. I gasped as he leaned down and kissed the new ring on my finger gently before smoothing it down.

"I love you, Clare," he said softly.

Such words have never been said so beautifully.

**oooooooooo**

Today was Sunday, the last day before my parents came home Monday morning. Even though I wanted to spend my time with Eli, I knew I had things to do. For one thing, I really had to tell Alli. I wasn't sure if she was going to be happy for me or shoot me, so I was a little scared about that. I also had to go to church in the afternoon; I'm probably gonna feel so dirty staring at the priest in the eye after what I did, but I honestly didn't care. I wasn't breaking any of the rules because Eli was my love, so there. I was also in the process of turning in applications for colleges, but most of it was done anyway. The deadline is in December and I already turned in my top college applications, so I really didn't have to worry. Eli said I was crazy to be worrying about it because I could get anywhere I wanted with my grades. I was pleasantly surprised to know that Eli was actually a very smart cookie; he really didn't explain much, but I knew that he was going to a very private university to become an English major. Something similar to pride swelled up in my heart knowing that he wasn't just relying on his talent and...good looks.

I was a little sad that Eli was going back to his reality, and my dream.

After our rather amazing morning, we had gotten ready together and talked about our plans for the day. He was going to spend the day with his parents so that I could do my things and needed to make phone calls later on. I used to see him as an untouchable figure, and I would actually get jealous of all those girls at his concerts or people that would take pictures with him at parties. It was still insane how real he was, how Elijah Goldsworthy had really chosen me over everyone else. By noon, the two of us were freshly clean and sitting in my dining table eating some waffles that I had prepared for us.

"So Momma Edwards is coming home tomorrow?" Eli asked, sticking a chunk of waffle in his mouth.

"Yup, right before school. So you better skedaddle out of here before she finds out what you've done to her daughter," I laughed, fixing my bangs.

"Oh right, I broke all the rules this weekend didn't I? Little Saint Clare no more," he chuckled.

I shook my head. "Hey, I'm still a good girl so shut up, mister," I retorted.

He smirked and chewed his last bite of the waffle. He swallowed and tapped the table in thought.

"So I want to go to church with you," he stated.

I raised an eyebrow and stared at him, not knowing if he was being sarcastic or not. He looked up at me seriously, mimicking my facial expression.

One thing I knew about Eli from before I met him was that he was an atheist, so the fact that he wanted to come to church with me was…odd.

"For research purposes only," he clarified, smirking.

I shrugged and laughed. "Of course you can come. I just didn't think you'd...want to?"

He rolled his eyes at my expression and picked up his plate to take it to the sink. I followed suit, smiling to myself as I took my daily pills. Eli at church? Well, this is certainly going to be the weirdest day ever. Eli turned to me with wide eyes, moving his lips as he said something inaudible. I tilted my head in confusion. He nodded to himself and twitched his fingers as he thought about music, I imagined.

"What is your voice type, blue eyes? Soprano?" Eli asked suddenly.

"Yes...why?" I asked.

He lifted his index finger at me, indicating 'hold on', and ran upstairs. I pursed my lips and let him do whatever he had to do while I cleaned the dishes quickly, knowing that everything had to be perfect when my parents came back. I heard Eli's footsteps approach and wasn't surprised when he had one leg on a chair while he hoisted up his guitar and spread out sheet music in front of him. I placed the dishes back in the cupboard and sat in front of him, watching in fascination as I became a witness to his creative process. He put his red and black pick between his lips as he wrote something down on the sheets, before taking it and strumming a couple of chords.

"Can you reach this?" he asked, strumming a chord.

I took a deep breath and sang the note asked of me with ease, and smiled in triumph when his eyebrows lifted in surprise. He nodded his head and started to play a really catchy song, reading the notes on the sheet music. He looked up at me and grinned, his excitement giving me chills.

"Okay, so I had a dream last night and I got a really good idea for our song. Would you like to hear what I have in mind?" he asked, his eyes shining.

I nodded enthusiastically and heard him sing what he had of the song. He would stop occasionally and tell me which parts were going to be his and which were mine. The lyrics were the same as the ones I had found in his room in the summer house, which made me happy because the lyrics were really amazing. The lyrics and the melody mixed well together and I was still in shock that he could do this in such a short time. Almost like the song he sung for me yesterday, swoon.

"And this is where you're gonna harmonize with me, going _la la la laaa lala-_" he sang in the highest voice he could as he tried to mimic me, but his voice was already so deep that it sounded really funny. I couldn't help but laugh.

I heard the doorbell ring and Eli stopped. I got up and skipped to the door, peaking out through the small window to see who it was. I smiled and opened the door.

"Hey Adam!" I smiled.

"Hey Clare," he smiled back, giving me a small hug.

"Are you here for Eli?" I asked.

"Well, I was actually here for you," he said sheepishly. "I kind of wanted to hang out with you today, if that was okay with you?"

I blinked and nodded, a sweet smile spreading on my lips. I knew Eli would be okay with it, seeing as how they were best friends and all. I loved Adam! He was such a sweet heart. Plus, Adam was terrible at keeping secrets, especially about Eli. Not that I was going to pump him for information, but anything that Adam told me about Eli always fascinated me.

"But speaking of that hooligan, is he here? He hasn't been answering my texts since last night!" he accused, peeking behind me to see if he was anywhere to be found.

I blushed, knowing that his phone was probably forgotten by that time. I let him in and closed the door behind him. When Eli spotted him, he smirked and put down his guitar to walk up to him.

"You're kidnapping my Clare, what?" Eli asked, giving him a "man hug."

"I'm just gonna ask her for a favor, I won't kidnap her for too long. What's up, bro? I've been calling you all morning," Adam asked.

"You can blame Clare for that. She is very distracting," Eli smirked, glancing over at me.

Adam looked back at me while I blushed, looking at Eli shyly. Adam did a double take, then looked back at Eli. His jaw dropped and he looked back to stare at me.

"Elijah Goldsworthy, you corrupted our poor innocent Clare, didn't you?" he exclaimed.

Eli's smirk widened and he wiggled his eyebrows at Adam. I hid my face in my hands and groaned in embarrassment.

"TMI, Eli. Seriously!" I just heard Adam yell, wondering what Eli had told him while I covered my hands.

"Okay, can we go now?" I asked, my voice a little higher than normal.

Eli laughed loudly, his laughter sounding like music. I flushed and went for my purse on the couch, swinging it over my shoulder. Adam came next to me and smiled sympathetically, pulling me into a hug.

"You're one of us now," he whispered, cheekily.

I groaned and smacked his shoulder, walking towards the door as the two males laughed out loud.

"ANYWAY! Eli, you'll lock the door for me?" I asked, the blush still present on my cheeks.

Eli clicked his tongue and smirked slightly, and the look in his eyes made me melt. I smiled and walked after Adam out the door, closing it shut. The air was chilly and it stung my face slightly, but it was a nice day overall. I clutched onto my fluffy sweater as Adam led me to his very normal blue car parked next to Eli's hearse.

"Thank God you don't drive a hippie bus or something. Then, that would be way too weird," I commented, laughing as Adam took one look at Morty and rolled his eyes, opening the passenger door for me.

"Eli will be Eli," he said as I slid inside the warm car.

He followed in next to me and turned on the engine, backing out of my driveway.

"So, where are we going?" I asked.

"Well hopefully you don't find this cheesy, but I found out that Degrassi was going to be open today because of a game so...maybe you'd like to give me a tour? I haven't been there in so long, I kind of missed it," he said, driving through the narrow streets.

As we drove, Adam and I talked about pretty much everything. He pushed me for details on how everything went last night, but it was just so embarrassing telling ADAM, bass player of Proxemics and Eli's best friend, about how good Eli was in bed. Boy, was he good...but no, it was too horrible to even talk about it with him. So I just told him that Eli did not hurt me in any way so there was no need for punching. I even showed him the ring that Eli had given me, and he was taken aback by the action. He had laughed incredulously and parked the car in the school parking lot, murmuring something I couldn't understand.

Alli was SO going to kill me for telling Adam first.

We walked down together, our hands in our sweater pockets as we entered Degrassi through the front door. Adam looked around and smiled.

"This place hasn't changed much," he said, walking to the left.

I followed him to the hallway near the gym, stopping in front of a yellow locker. He put his hand on it and looked at me.

"This was my locker way back when," he explained, and I nodded, still not believing that the hottest boys on the face of the planet were from Degrassi.

We walked around the empty halls of Degrassi, hearing buzzing and faint cheers from the gym from the game. It was a really nice conversation because we didn't even talk about anything heavy like Eli or Fitz. Adam was really great to talk to and I was suddenly jealous of Eli for having such a friend. Well, Alli was just as amazing but Adam was...Adam. Every once in a while, he would stop and take out his phone to text someone.

"Anyone I know?" I asked teasingly, watching as he put his phone in his pocket.

Adam blushed and sat down on a bench near the tall windows. "It's uh...Fiona Coyne?"

"From the party? Aw, Adam! That's so cute," I smiled, sitting down next to him.

He smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, I danced with Fiona for a really long time and then later I sat down with GCJ. You know, getting to know her friends and all."

I nodded. "Did you know them before?"

"Yeah, but not very well. I mean, I know Lola very well from past friendships but that's all. I needed to become acquainted with the other two girls," he said.

"Lola, the lead singer? She looks really nice, I've always wanted to meet her," I said.

Adam looked at me with hesitation, and his lingering gaze made me skeptical. He quickly looked away and cleared his throat. What was that? What was wrong with me wanting to meet Lola?

"Yeah, she's really nice. So yeah, Fiona and I have been talking for a while now and I'm really happy, but..." he hesitated, looking down at his hands.

"What?"

"Clare...can I tell you something? Something that is really, really personal?" he asked softly, looking up at me.

"Yeah, of course Adam. I would never tell anyone, you know me," I replied, watching conflict cross his eyes.

Adam cleared his throat and tapped his fingers on his jeans as I waited patiently.

"So, let's say you were Fiona and I actually got involved with you. If...I wasn't exactly who I said I was, would you run away?" he asked, curiously.

"What do you mean?" I asked, crossing my legs and leaning towards him.

He licked his lips and stared at the ground for a few moments. "If you found out something about me that was really weird, something that most people look down upon...would you stick through with me?"

I really didn't know what to say because he was really confusing me. I scrunched my eyebrows together and tried to find a way to comfort him.

"Well, if I was Fiona and I truly did like you, I would help you go through whatever it was you were going through. You're a really great guy and I would be there for you whenever you needed me," I said.

"See, that's just it..." he started. He took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. "What if I'm not...a guy?"

I tried to mask my shock as the information sunk in; I made sure not to look him over to see if there was anything that gave him...her away. I found none; but then everything started to make sense. Looking at Adam, he was always different than the boys in the band, but I could never really put it together. Now I started to look at the details. Adam's jaw wasn't as defined as the rest of the boys, his hands weren't as big, he always wore baggy clothes, his voice would sometimes change pitch almost as if he was forcing his voice sometimes...

Oh my god.

"Adam...?" I didn't know what else to say, I didn't want to offend him.

He shifted his feet and leaned forward, his hands on the bench.

"Gracie," he stated simply. "My birth name was Gracie. I was born as a girl, but my mind is one hundred percent male. I am a female to male transgender, always have been."

I was about to say something, but he cut me off.

"When I was Gracie, I was never happy. It wasn't until I was in middle school that I cut my hair, binded myself, and became Adam. It was really hard for everyone at first, but then they accepted who I was and everything just became normal for me. Eli met me as Adam, and he helped me through my depression phase when my mother deliberately tried to bring Gracie back. Drew, Eli, and Fitz know about me, and now you do, too. I realize that I can't hide my true self forever, but my happiness depends on it. I always knew that when it came to this part of my life, I would have difficulty but I never thought much of it. Now that I'm here, with Fiona waiting for my true intentions...I don't know," he said quietly, running his hand through his short hair. "I hope you don't think differently of me."

I smiled sympathetically and put my hand over his, trying to comfort him.

"I could never think differently of you. If anything, I admire you," I said, making him look up in shock. "You had the courage to stick up to what you wanted and your happiness and went for it without caring about anyone else. You had really good friends who stuck with you during the hard times, and now I'll be here for you too. Anyone who wants to take away your happiness doesn't deserve your friendship."

He smiled and put his other hand on top of mine in gratitude.

"So if Fiona doesn't agree with that, then she doesn't deserve you. I know you'll find the one girl who will look behind the physical appearances and love you for who you really are, as Adam," I smiled.

He nodded softly. "Do you think I should tell her?"

I bit my lip and thought about it first. "Well, I think that you should wait for the right time. I think that you should go ahead and make your intentions known and when the time comes, you'll tell her and see what happens from there," I suggested.

"Thank you, Clare. I'm glad Eli found you," he said, pulling me into a hug.

I felt stupid when my eyes watered slightly as he hugged me tightly, but I hugged him back and I was completely grateful that Adam trusted me.

When we pulled away, I looked down at my phone to find a new text message.

_Hey blue eyes, didn't you say church was at six?  
-Eli_

It was 5:45!

_Where are you?  
-Clare_

"Oh wow, we've been here for two hours! Eli and I have to go to church," I explained.

He stared at me in disbelief.

"Yeah, I know. He said it was for research purposes only," I laughed as we stood up.

_I'll be waiting in my hearse in front of the Dot.  
-Eli_

"Do you mind dropping me off at the Dot? Eli's waiting for me," I asked.

"Dang, Miss Clare, what have you done with my best friend?" he asked, walking me back to the car.

"You tell me," I shook my head.

**oooooooooo**

I'll admit it, I was wrong.

I thought it would be easy bringing Eli with me to church. You know, we would go through the ceremony and I would talk to all of my friends from Youth Group and he would be very respectful and no one would recognize him at all. However, it was all much more complicated than that. I remembered that Eli couldn't wear any disguise at all because hats weren't allowed and it was too hot inside the church to wear thick jackets. The only thing he could really wear was the furry mustache, which didn't really cover much. Maybe people wouldn't notice...? Eli and I stepped out of the hearse when we arrived at the church, receiving a lot of weird looks from the conservative people on their way to church.

"You do realize that people are going to recognize you, right?" I asked, watching as people stared.

"No they won't. These people are a bunch of Bible huggers, what makes you think they're going to listen to Dr. Doom's music for the dead?" he replied sarcastically, placing his hand on my lower back.

"I know who you are," I said.

"...But you're Clare Edwards, the saintly seductress. You don't count," Eli retorted confidently.

"If you say so," I giggled, knowing he was going to be eating his words.

What I didn't realize was that far more people were going to recognize him than I thought. A small voice in the back of my head told me that a lot of these people were really close to my family; what if my mom found out? I pushed it in the back of my head and walked into the church with Eli by my side.

"My God, why is it so eerie in here?" Eli asked quietly, as the organ music played in the background.

I smacked his arm and stared at him, warning him. We sat down on the benches at the back where not a lot of people were sitting, waiting for the mass to start. No one dared to sit next to us, they were too intimidated I guess. I didn't like all of this attention...

"You know, you're really cute when you're trying to be threatening, blue eyes," Eli whispered, grinning to himself when I blushed.

"Stop being an ass," I whispered back, sticking out my tongue.

He gasped. "Cursing at the Lord's house? My, oh my, Clare Edwards," he smirked wickedly.

I was about to argue with him, but then I saw his eyes flicker above my head and smile awkwardly. I turned around and saw two girls that I recognized from Degrassi but never really talked to. Oh no, don't tell me-

"I'm sorry to bother you, but are you-?" the blonde one asked, clasping her hand over her lips as the two girls giggled with excitement.

I felt Eli laugh beside me, a laugh that could make any girl's heart melt. I suddenly felt very jealous. Before Eli could answer them, the organ music swelled and everyone stood up as the priest made his way down the middle aisle. The girls immediately ran back to their parents and both of us stood up. For the one hour of mass, I could hardly pay attention to any of the readings or the priest's sermon because I was just so sucked into the jealous feeling inside of me. I am not a jealous person, I never have been; but when it comes to a person like Eli, who I still can't believe is in love with me, I tend to get a little...possessive.

I can't believe all of the girls that would literally turn around and gape at him, giggling and squealing. I wanted to go up to them, bonk them in the head, and tell them to listen to the word of God! What a hypocrite, I wasn't even paying attention. All I could do was take side glances at the ironic, holy aura of the man beside me, as he sat with his arm around my shoulders, his legs crossed as he sat with complete comfort. He was actually paying attention, he was deciphering every word that went on in the mass. I would smile sometimes when I saw the incredulous look on his face or the look of mock after a certain part of the priest's sermon. I was happy he wasn't complaining because he was the one that wanted to come, and I would have felt pretty embarrassed. True to his word, he really was listening and wanted to understand the theory behind my religion. Of course, he wouldn't understand, but he was trying. It was so funny, watching him kneel down at the benches and look around. He was so lost, it was so cute.

My slight euphoria would always be fazed when the girls around us would wink and wave slightly, making Eli nod in acknowledgment. I especially hated the offering of peace, where we shook the hands of everyone around us. People actually came up to us and started to shake his hand, their mouths open like fishes out of water. You're supposed to give peace to those AROUND you. Idiots. But Eli gave me a hug though, and I was inclined towards sticking my tongue out at the disappointed fan girls.

I didn't even notice that we were already at the final blessing, and the mass was already over. I watched as the mob of people started to approach us, and I was about to run in panic, but luckily Eli grabbed onto my hand firmly and pulled me out of the church. I laughed as Eli ran, pulling me behind me as I tried to keep up. We got into the car quickly and put our heads down, hearing the mob of girls running past us. I poked my head out of the hearse and laughed.

"Wow, I thought that only happened in movies," I said in disbelief, fixing my hair.

"Oh no, baby, those crazy fan girls are real. Very real," he said, out of breath. He peeled the mustache off of his face and threw it at me, making me squeal and toss it back.

I laughed as he turned on his loud music and drove towards my house, the thick wave that had consumed me during church fading. When we arrived at my house, I decided to make us a quick dinner that consisted of my very easy recipe of fettuccine with grilled chicken. I kind of expected him to come behind me, wrap his arms around me and take me to a world of oblivion, but dinner was actually pretty calm. We sat down at the living room couch and ate while watching some old movies on TV, laughing and making stupid jokes. He asked about what happened with Adam, and I only told him that I knew what happened. Then, I remembered something.

"Hey, you know Lola? From GCJ?" I brought up suddenly.

His eyebrows knit together and he stared at me as he took a sip of his tea.

"What did Adam tell you?" he asked hesitantly.

"Well she just came up and he was really...weird about her. Did something happen between them?" I asked.

Eli paused. "Well...not exactly. It's nothing important, we just don't like her very much," he said, taking a bit of the spaghetti.

"Oh my god, what did you put in this?" Eli asked, his mouth full of spaghetti as he hummed in pleasure.

"Oh some cream, butter, poison..." I smirked.

Eli choked, holding onto his neck. Then, he shrugged and continued stuffing his face with my spaghetti. I laughed at him and flushed, loving the fact that he loved my cooking. We settled into a light conversation, just enjoying each other's company as we finished our dinner. Our time was coming to an end, and I knew he would have to leave tonight because my mom was coming home tomorrow morning. I watched as he told me a story, animatedly wavhing his arms around and laughing at his own joke, and suddenly, I wanted him.

I leaned over in the middle of his speech and pressed my lips to his shocked ones, wrapping my arms around his neck and moving to straddle his hips. After a few seconds, Eli responded in fervor and kissed me with as much desire, wrapping his arms around my waist. I moaned, loving the feeling of his toned arms around me. He was trying to go slow, kiss me with patience, but I wasn't having that tonight. I bit his lower lip and raked my hands through his hair, pulling. He groaned and detached his lips from mine, nipping my jaw line.

"Eli, please..." I begged, wanting him to go faster.

"You're sore. I don't want to hurt you..." he murmured against my skin, running his hands up and down my back soothingly.

"I don't care," I said firmly, cupping his face and bringing it up to mine so I could look into his beautiful green eyes. "I want you," I ground out, pressing my hips to his hips.

Eli's eyes darkened and his hands stopped momentarily on my hips. "You're driving me crazy, blue eyes," he breathed out dangerously.

I bit my lip and watched as his eyes traced my lips.

"Fuck being slow," Eli growled, crashing his lips onto mine and pushing me down to the couch.

It felt amazing, our hands roaming frantically. I felt blurred, too lost in the world Eli introduced me to, but I still felt everything. I felt every caress of his fingers as he removed my clothes, every touch of his hips as he sucked and licked every inch of my skin, every single shudder of pleasure that ran down my spine. My fingers shook as I unbuttoned his shirt, removing it impatiently. I closed my eyes and let myself feel as Eli pleasured my body. When I opened my eyes, we were both free of any restraints and holding onto each other desperately, our heavy breathing in tune.

"Get on your knees and hold onto the arm rest please. Both hands," he said in the most polite, sexy voice I have ever heard.

I complied, and got on my hands and knees while I held onto the beige arm rest. I gasped when I felt his cool hand slide down the length of my spine, kneeding my sensetive flesh.

"You are so beautiful, Clare," he growled in approval.

HIs hands smoothed down to my stomach, one of them trailing up to cup my breast and the other rubbing circles dangerously close to where I wanted most. My body was humming with anticipation, feeling so worked up even if he hasn't touched me.

"Eli, please! I need you now," I moaned, pushing back to find some sort of friction.

"Tell me," he purred, leaning his torso to my back and moving his lips to the shell of my ear.

"Eli!" I mewled, flushing red with anticipation.

"I'll give you anything, blue eyes, but I need to know what you want," he whispered deliciously into my ear, licking softly.

"I want you inside of me, now," I ground out, pressing my hips back to his.

Eli groaned out in approval and holding my hips apart, he pierced himself inside me, filling me to the brim in one go. We screamed out in unison at the sudden pleasure coursing through us, the feeling of having Eli fitting so perfectly inside of me overwhelming my senses and making my heart pound loudly in my ears. His grip tightened on my hips, to the point of bruising, and started to thrust in and out of me at an erratic pace, making me moan and throw my head back. I thrust my hips back in time with his rapid thrusts, feeling sparks of pleasure shoot up my spine. It hurt because I was sore, but I did not want him to stop for anything. Eli grunted and slid his hands up to my waist, helping me thrust in time with his deep, rough thrusts. It was apparent that the amount of force he had used last night was nothing compared to the power in each earth-shattering thrust.

"God…" I gasped, willing air in my lungs as I pushed my arms against the armrest for more leverage

Eli's groans filled the room along with my panting breaths, his hips hitting my clit with every thrust. I screamed out in pleasure when I felt one of his hands move between my legs, rubbing the bundle of nerves with his thumb expertly.

"Come on, blue eyes. Cum for me," he commanded roughly.

I moaned loudly, feeling the coil tighten with every single order he gave. He possessed me, manipulating me to his will, and I loved it. Then, he gave a particularly hard thrust, and I fell over the edge with a scream. Eli growled, and pumped a few more times before exploding as well, his orgasm waving through him. As the emotional high started to fade, I felt Eli pull out of me with a hiss, before gripping my waist and bringing me down to the couch with him. I was panting for breath, clutching onto Eli's smooth skin and burying m face in his neck.

"Wow," was all I had to say.

Eli hummed in agreement and kissed the top of my head, wrapping his arm under my shoulders and curling me to him. We lay there for a couple of minutes, catching our breaths and willing our heart rates to slow. Eventually, my eyes started to droop and I was suddenly very, very tired. I probably dozed off, because when I opened my eyes, I was being carried bridal style into my bedroom. Eli picked out some pj's from my closet and helped me put them on, but I was too tired to really I was dressed, Eli tucked me in and turned off the lights, sitting on the edge of my bed fully clothed. He ran his thumb over my lips and smiled.

"Where are you going?" I asked softly, willing my eyes to stay open.

"I have to go pick up Adam and Drew, we have to be on a plane to Vancouver in a few hours," he whispered.

"Stay," I pleaded, wanting to stay up longer with him.

"How about this: I'll stay until you fall asleep and make sure everything is nice and clean for when you wake up, okay?" he argued.

I nodded my head and smiled when he leaned down to leave a lingering kiss on my cheek. Before I knew it, his face became blurred, and I fell asleep.

**oooooooooo**

My alarm clock buzzed loudly.

I sat up with a gasp, looking around as the morning light filled my room. I looked at the clock and remembered everything that happened last night. I frowned, wishing I could have said good-bye to him...verbally. I swung my legs over the bed and noticed there was a note on my night stand. I reached for it and opened it carefully, reading Eli's elegant script:

_I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful weekend. This weekend was the start of a new life, one where I don't have to wallow up in my past. Slowly, but surely, I know that I'll be able to come out of my shell. With your help. I will be calling constantly and keeping you posted on everything that happens with our last concert of the tour. Don't be surprised if I fly in every once in a while. I love you, Clare. _

_Morty will be on IM every night, just saying._

_Yours,  
Eli_

I smiled and my heart fluttered wildly. So with Eli in my mind and my heart, I did my daily routine of getting ready for school, and mentally prepared myself for Alli's wrath. By the time I was just about to leave the door to school, my parents opened the door and came in with all of their suitcases.

"Clare!" my mom exclaimed, opening her arms.

I smiled and hugged her tightly, smiling as my dad kissed my forehead and walked inside.

"How was everything?" I asked, letting go of my mom.

"Well, we can talk about that later. So honey, anything interesting happen while we were gone?" my mom asked.

_I just snuck out and flew to Toronto behind your back, went to a hard rock concert, dirty danced with a drop-dead gorgeous rock star, spent the night with him in the same bed, had him stay over at our house without parental supervision, got a new boyfriend, helped write a song for his new album, and drove around in his hearse. Oh, by the way, I lost my virginity and we had amazing, mind-blowing sex on my bed and on the couch. Twice. _

"Nope, nothing out of the ordinary."

* * *

So, I feel a little dirty now. Please tell me that wasn't as horrible as I think. I tried my best? Hehe. Okay so I'm debating a little bit. The song that Eli and Clare are going to sing...should I actually make it a legit song? I was thinking that I might just not specify what song it was because it would keep the authenticity of the fiction, but I'm not sure. What do you think? I haven't exactly found the right song so that's why I'm a bit skeptical.

By the way, I'm very thankful for your amazing reviews and feedback. I couldn't have done it without you all. Happy Thanksgiving!

**WAZAM**


	12. Meltdown

Hello again, everyone! You have got today a semi-early update! Honestly, I was going to wait till tomorrow, but I just couldn't wait to put it up. I hope you know that I'm spoiling you with early updates, don't get too used to them in case I have a lot of work at some point. The semester is coming to an end and this month is going to be pretty hectic for me. However, I must admit that I love this story so much that I doubt I'll ever be able to miss a deadline for it. I'm just saying, don't be surprised if you don't get early updates every week!

I didn't even realize that I had written over 150 pages worth of chapters in this story in the last two months. That, is insane. I really haven't even noticed that I had written so much and I hope no one has gotten tired of this yet. **I am estimating about six or seven more chapters until the end of Rockstar. **It's coming faster and faster, and I'm a bit sad that it's almost over but it had to be done eventually. We are SO close to getting to the good part, I am very excited to write these next few chapters! I love all of your reviews, I hope you know that I read them all! I mean, **600+**** reviews**? You guys are the best! I swear, if I reach 1,000 reviews...wow. It would be my dream come true. Even if I don't hit 1,000 I had just as much fun writing this and I hope you all had the same amount reading it. Thank you so very much!

So anyway, onto the chapter! I MUST WARN YOU...this chapter is going to get very intense. Just trust me, okay? You've trusted me thus far, so don't stop now! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own a broken Wii, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 12._

"Why are you so nervous, Clare?"

"I don't know how to say this..."

"Say what?"

"Alli...uh..."

"You know I'm not good at charades, Clare. What are we talking about here?"

_Dear Lord, please have mercy for I am about to tell my best friend that I gave up my nine year promise in one weekend...and told someone else first. Please give Alli the strength and compassion to forgive me and not make a huge scene in front of everyone, for then I'll be the center of attention for the next year. Also, if it's not too much to ask, would you please make this ten minutes walk to school a little longer so she can vent out and scream before anyone else comes? That's all I ask. Amen._

"Well, you see, Alli..."

"Hey Clare, is that a new ring?"

"...Yeah..."

"This isn't your usual style of rings. It's nice though. Hey but where's...?"

"Yeah, about that..."

_Stare._

_Black eyes asking questions, blue eyes answering._

_Eyes widening. _

_Biting lip._

"...Where is your chastity ring, Clare?"

"Uhm...Eli has it. I gave it to him on Saturday..."

Double meaing.

A gasp.

A cringe.

"Oh. My..._HOLY FUCK, DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY?_"

Everyone around us turned at the sound of his name, then realized what the sentence meant, then gawked. I smacked my forehead loudly and groaned, hiding my flushed face.

"ALLI! What did I tell you about being _SUBTLE_?" I whispered harshly, watching as the adults around us continued to gawk.

"How can I possibly be subtle when my best friend in the whole world and I _finally _have something in common?" Alli exclaimed loudly, squealing and jumping on the spot, holding onto my hands and expecting the ring.

"Something in common? Alli we have a lot of things in common!" I argued, not sure if to smack her of laugh with her.

She completely ignored me, as I expected, and sat me down on the nearest bench. I looked at my watch and reminded her that we only had seven minutes before the first bell rang.

"Who cares? She doesn't even care if we're late, this is much more important! So, Clare Edwards, you are now obligated to tell me every single detail of what happened; starting with how, what, where, and everything that went on in your head when this happened. Then, we're going to talk about what his reaction was during, and how he treated you because if he treated you wrong, I'm going to have a couple of words with Mr. Goldsworthy. Who am I kidding? He probably treated you like a princess! Then, we're gonna talk about positions, and what-"

I groaned.

_Dear Lord, thank you for making Alli happy rather than upset at my actions. I cannot complain and say you did not do your work there, but I have to ask for one more thing, respectfully. Please give me the strength and courage to endure this extremely embarrassing, long, and detailed discussion that I am about to endure. Also, I pray for a distraction that might randomly come up. Like, a sudden interest in academics that might make Alli skip this talk, or even a dog that might come and take Alli's shoe...yeah, nevermind. I know that's a stretch. Forget that last prayer, just please...help me survive this. Amen._

**oooooooooo**

Needless to say, Alli and I arrived to school fifteen minutes late. We arrived into the computer lab, and sighed in relief when noticed that he had a substitute teacher. Nobody was doing anything, really. I sat down on my green bouncy ball and put my bag on the computer next to me, still flushed from that really embarrassing conversation we had. Alli was still smug, filled with information and dirty details that were apparently needed. Since when? I don't know.

"Ma'am, excuse me," I called the substitute, "What are we doing today?"

"Your teacher didn't leave me anything, so just...stay quiet," the lady murmured, flipping the page of her magazine.

_Good morning, blue eyes. You have no idea how much I wanted to stay last night, but I hope you got my letter.  
Did Momma Edwards come home this morning?  
-Eli_

Alli read the text message and squealed, shaking my arm before standing up and moving around the class. I giggled and texted back:

_Good morning. :) I wish you could've stayed too, but I understand. I got your letter! You're such a romantic, Eli :P  
Yeah, she and my dad came home this morning. They haven't talked about what happened, but they seem a little better now.  
Are you and the boys in Vancouver?  
-Clare_

I closed my phone and turned on the computer, ignoring the hum of people on the other side of the classroom. My phone vibrated on the table.

_Yes we are. I'm actually on commercial break right now. I'm being interviewed on the Morning Show. They're asking me deep, personal questions, oh no! Haha. You should watch me, just saying.  
-Eli_

Wow, the Morning Show? That was pretty big. I rolled my eyes at his sarcastic comments that could not miss and froze when I saw a red-haired girl sit next to me suddenly. Was she even in this class?

"Hi, Clare Edwards?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"You don't know me, but I go to your church sometimes," she smiled. "There were some rumors going around last week that you actually met Elijah Goldsworthy, is that true?"

"People are still with that?" I asked in disbelief. I wanted to tell everyone about our relationship, but I didn't know how he felt about the idea of us going public.

"Well, the only reason I bring it up is because you came to church yesterday with someone who looked extremely similar to him. Everyone has been saying that it was Elijah with a fake mustache. Crazy, huh?" she laughed.

_Ugh, Eli and your fake mustache._

"I, uh..."

"Clare! Come here!" Alli called from across the room, obvious excitment in her voice.

I excused myself and stood up, watching as Alli and the entire class sat in front of a computer with interest. I pinned my eyebrows together as I walked towards the computer, confused as to why people stood aside and let me sit on the ball rather than lurk around everyone's shoulders. When I sat down, my heart fluttered when I saw the headlines of what they were watching.

**"_Welcome back to the Morning Show! We're here with Elijah Goldsworthy, lead singer of the Proxemics, talking about his career."_**

Everyone looked over my shoulder and huddled, lifting up the volume of the computer. I watched as Eli sat with calm, his leg crossed in a 4 shape and leaning back casually. He looked so delicious right now, how did he do that? I just spent the entire weekend with this man and his charm and physique still stunned me. It was so surreal, knowing that my boyfriend was on international television right now. A lot of the girls in back of me were squealing as Eli chuckled and flipped his hair back, and I rolled my eyes at them. If I didn't know any better, I would have squealed just as loudly as they are. Guess what, fangirls? He loves _me_. Na-na-nana-na!

"What's going on?" I asked the people behind me.

"They mentioned your name, Clare! Right before commercials came on!" a boy replied.

I gasped and my stomach dropped in anticipation. Was Eli talking about me on television?

"Yeah, they were talking about relationships and Eli mentioned a Clare at one point! With all the rumors, we just thought..." a girl murmured, her voice fading as the show went on.

_"So, Elijah. We were last talking about how your career has been greatly affected by something new in your life," the puffed-up interviewer said._

_Eli smirked and looked down at his dark jeans, his arms adjusting on the arm rests. "Yes, I can't say that my success is based solely on me," he smirked wickedly, obviously hiding something._

_"Well, Mr. Goldsworthy, we're on our toes waiting to hear this inspiration!" she pressed, her smile widening at the audience._

_"Many things come into play when talking about my success. I am lucky enough to have my best friends as my partners in the art of rock, Adam, Drew, and Fitz. They are the most talented people I know and I am glad that I get to work with them everyday. My manager, JJ, is also to thank. He was the one who put us out there in the world and advertised our music, which led us to where we are today..." he paused._

_The interviewer clasped her hands and leaned closer. "Ahh, yes. The last one. You've kept this one a secret, haven't you?" _

_He grinned at her, intertwining his fingers in front of his chin. "Well, it's not really a secret. I just haven't really talked about it," he explained casually._

_There was a pause as the interviewer smiled in anticipation, staring as Eli smiled at his hands in thought._

My breath hitched as everyone in back of me waited, staring at the computer monitor. I know that this wasn't the inspiration that Adam was talking about a long time ago. I knew Eli well enough now to know that he wouldn't talk about anything too personal. I was wondering if he was going to mention our relationship, though. If he did...all hell would break lose. And I would love every second of it.

_Eli looked up from his hands and looked at the interviewer with amusement. "A big part of my inspiration comes from my absolutely lovely girlfriend," he stated._

I bit my lip and clutched onto the hem of my sweater, hearing all of the girls behind me whine in disappointment and the boys murmur to each other. I think I heard my name, but I was too engrossed with the computer to care.

_The audience gasped and the interviewer's jaw dropped. She regained her composure and grinned. _

_"So the big, bad Elijah Goldsworthy has a girlfriend! Is she anyone from a rock band that we know?" she asked._

_He shook his head. "Not at all, she is actually the complete opposite of me."_

_"How so?" _

_"Well, she is in no rock band, for starters. She is actually an old friend of mine who I've known for a few years who was always a fan of mine, but I didn't know until recently. We just...hit it off when we met up again," he said, staring at nothing in particular._

_"How long has this been going on? You've sure kept it a secret! Where is this mysterious girlfriend of yours?" she asked._

_He chuckled and looked into the camera. "Well, she's probably at school right now, but if she's watching, she knows who she is," he smirked. "Oh, and we've only become official this past weekend but this has been going on for about two weeks now."_

My heart melted as my favorite crooked smile played on his lips.

_"Wow! This sure was an eventful morning her on the Morning Show. Unfortunatley, our time is coming to an end. Are there any questions the audience would like to ask Elijah Goldsworthy before he joins the Proxemics as our music guests?" the interviewer asked. "Yes, you in the back!"_

_A young woman stood up, wearing a Proxemics shirt. "Yes, Elijah! I bet I'm not the only one thinking this. For the fans! Is there any possibility that you will be single anytime soon?" _

_He smirked. "No, I don't think so. I am pretty much in love with this girl so I'm sorry to disappoint, I love my fans very much."_

_The audience cheered and roared, while Eli laughed and ran his hand through his hair._

_"Last question?" the interviewer asked._

_A younger girl, in her early teens, stood up and took the microphone. "Can you tell us what her name is?" _

Everyone behind me drew closer to me as my heart thudded loudly against my chest.

_"She probably wouldn't want me saying..." he said, trailing off. _

_The crowd hummed in disappointment. _

_"I'll just tell you her first name, just so that none of you will walk out of here with a frown," Eli chuckled as the crowd cheered. _

_"So? Her name?" _

_Eli played with the ring on his pinky finger- the ring _I _had given him- and smiled softly, looking up at the camera. _

_"Her name is Clare."_

Oh my god.

"Oh my god..." I whispered.

_"Oh my god!" _everyone yelled, pulling on my arm and shooting so many questions at me.

"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!" the substitute yelled, flipping the page of her magazine angrily.

The mob of excited teenagers around me shushed their questions, but continued to smooth my hair and pull on my sweater. They wanted me to confirm if I was in fact Elijah Goldsworthy's girlfriend, but all I could do was stare at the screen. Eli got up and ran to the side, where Proxemics was already set up and ready to play. He picked up his red fender and swung the strap over his shoulder, grabbing his pick and looking around at the band. I was surprised to find Fitz there, his jaw completely fine and his face flawless. If I didn't know what happened, I would've said everything was perfectly fine. I knew better, though.

_**"Proxemics, final concert of the tour tonight in our very own Vancouver! Grass seating is still on sale for Proxemics live at the stadium at 7:00 PM. Go pick up a ticket today!"**_

_"Uh-one, uh-two, uh-one two three, uh!" Eli grunted, the rest of the band following along to the fast beat of the song. _

_The camera zoomed in on Eli's face from the ground, his sharp jawline moving as he sung lusciously into the microphone and his forearms moving rapidly with the guitar. _

Just then, the bell rang.

Everyone groaned and scattered, getting their bags and such. I got off the ball and turned, watching as a boy in my class sat down and started to click on some buttons on the video. I wanted to ask what he was doing, but I just wanted to get out of the classroom before I was bombarded with more questions. I quickly swung my bag over my shoulder and walked out next to Alli. I sighed in relief, the air of the hallway calming me down.

"Clare, I can't believe he came out with your relationship to the world! You are so lucky," Alli sighed, smiling at a couple of girls who walked by.

"Uhh...yeah," I murmured, distracted by the group of guys staring at a phone and looking up at me in shock.

"Clare? What's wrong?" Alli asked as we reached her locker.

I scrunched my eyebrows together when two girls on the other side of the hallway looked up from their cellphones and stared at me oddly. I flipped my head to the other side and noticed that more than half of the people had their cellphones out and were looking at me blankly. I put my right hand to my face, pretending to fix my bangs as I felt the uncomfortable gazes of the entire Degrassi population on me. Alli closed her locker and turned to me, before looking around behind me.

"Why are they staring?" I whispered with my head low, walking alongside Alli to my own locker.

Alli glared at the people around her. "Hey! What are you staring at?" she snapped at several girls, who immediatley turned the other way.

I reached my locker and opened it carefully, taking out some of my books for my next classes. Chantay skipped towards me, leaning against the locker next to mine and eyeing me with mischief. I coughed uncomfortably and closed my locker, turning to her with caution.

"Is it true that _you're_ Elijah Goldsworthy's girlfriend?" she asked in a hushed voice, her eyes widening.

I lifted an eyebrow and looked around, noticing that everyone was carefully listening for an answer. I clutched my books to my chest and bit my lip softly.

"Who told you that?" I asked.

"Oh, haven't you heard? Everyone's getting a video of his interview this morning, saying that his girlfriend's name was Clare," she explained.

I gasped. So THAT'S what he was doing at the computer. Wow, things cycle pretty fast.

"And I know for a fact that you sang with him in his last concert, it's all over the news. Also! Word on the street is that he was here, this weekend," she said rapidly, shaking her head and widening her eyes even more than I thought was possible.

"Wait, it's on the news?" I asked in disbelief.

"Just that Elijah was singing with a mysterious girl and then later took her to a VIP party. Take a look," Chantay coaxed, giving me a magazine.

I took it in my hands and recognized it as the magazine that Proxemics was interviewed by. I could also tell because their picture was on the cover, the one with the white background and the weird chairs. Eli looked so seductive, it gave me chills! I ignored that, and kept a mental note to buy the magazine later, and opened the page where Chantay had placed sticky notes. I skimmed over the interview and noticed that the previous argument was actually cut off and was replaced by a conversation I was not present for. I guess JJ must have convinced the journalist to cut out that part of the interview. I turned the page and scowled when I saw a clouded image myself, with Eli's arm around my waist, coming out of the backstage with huge smiles on our faces. My face was blurred because of my hair in my face and the lighting, making me unrecognizable. However, I saw myself in the mirror everyday, I could recognize myself anywhere. I didn't voice this to Chantay, though.

**'IS ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY HIDING A SECRET SOMEONE FROM THE WORLD?' **the headline read.

I frowned, but was thankful my name was not mentioned. On the opposite page, I saw a picture of Drew and Alli coming out of the party at night. Thank goodness the picture was at a distance so no one could tell for sure who it was, but still. I turned the page and saw the album cover of GCJ with a picture of the new Proxemics album cover right next to it. I pressed my lips into the line and pinned my eyebrows together as I read the headline.

**'POSSIBLE BAND AFFILIATIONS?'**

I skimmed down and read something about secret meetings that members of Proxemics and GCJ have been having, and that there was a possibility of forming new alliances. On the bottom, there was a picture of Fitz and Lola sitting at a remote coffee shop, discussing something over snacks. Fitz was wearing sunglasses and had a hoodie over his head, but the bandages on his jaw gave him away. After all, he just came out from the hospital. Lola was wearing some expensive looking sunglasses and a black coat and long black boots with studs. As I stared at her, her brown hair cascading down her back, I remembered the reaction Adam and Eli had towards her. I looked up at her album cover and stared into the dark, almost purple, eyes that smoldered through the page and pondered. I was really curious as to why they reacted so skeptically, so weirdly. I mean, she doesn't look like the nicest girl but if there was possibility of them forming an alliance, then why would they have acted that way? Why hadn't Eli mentioned this possible alliance?

"So spill, Baby Edwards!" Chantay exclaimed, taking the magazine from my hands and staring expectantly.

I frowned at the nickname and huffed silently, not in the mood to satisfy this nosey know-it-all. I shrugged and turned on my heels to my next classroom. Alli snapped her fingers and ran after me, walking down the hallway like super stars. She gave me a high-five and a squeal as she dropped me off to my advanced English class. Of course, the minute I sat down I was bombarded with questions and comments about the interview, and I merely shrugged them off. Mrs. Dawes entered the room and told everyone to be quiet and stop pestering me meaningless questions. My phone vibrated, and I quickly checked the message. Well, messages actually. I guess I didnt' notice my phone vibrating before.

_Did you watch the interview?  
-Eli_

_Clare, I want to talk to you. Please? I've been hearing things about out dating a celebrity and I want to know what's up with you. Are you okay?  
-KC_

The girl in back of me looked over my shoulder but I immediatley covered my phone. When Mrs. Dawes started to write on the board, I sent a quick reply to Eli. I didn't even want to touch on KC right now.

_Yes, I did. Actually, my whole school saw it! I've been harrassed with 'Are you THE Clare?' BLAH. Btw, you looked handsome up there :)  
-Clare_

I took out my binder with notes and listened to Mrs. Dawe's lecture, ignoring the suspicious students as my phone buzzed silently.

_I'm sorry, blue eyes, I couldn't resist. You're too amazing to keep a secret. Now stop texting in class and get online later.  
-Eli_

I smiled and was about to reply when I got another message.

_I love you.  
-Eli_

I felt my cheeks flush and I wanted to giggle out in complete happiness, but I controlled myself.

_I love you, too.  
-Clare_

**oooooooooo**

The month of November breezed by as the whole "possibly Elijah's girlfriend" situation faded into the background with time. Neither I nor Alli ever confirmed that I was dating him, but it was sort of obvious now. I made a lot of new acquaintances because of the possible relationship and never had any time to myself at school, but it's what I expected. At first, the attention was really weird. I have never been one to be the center of attention; I never blended in to the background, but I wasn't...out there. It seemed that with that one video, I was suddenly everyone's new best friend. The most random people would come up to me during free period and talk with me or offer to take me out to a movie. It was really low, seeing how people were so desperate to see if I had any connection with celebrities and if they had any friends I could hook them up with. I mean, even while eating in lunch and texting Eli! Some girls would actually sneak behind my shoulder and squealed at the sight of the name on the screen. I would immediatley reject the idea and tell them it wasn't Elijah. They would frown, but tell the entire school nonetheless. I would go to church and sing in the choir, and I still got a few comments about that boy I brought to church last time. I would just tell them he was a very good friend of mine who was vising for the weekend. I was actually surprised that none of the snooty mothers had told my parents about him yet.

Good luck, I guess?

I imagine that the reason nobody has really tried talking to my parents about me is because of their shaky marriage grounds. I mean, they had enough problems to worry about. Even at home, I could sense the problems. Before the camp, they were always barking arguments at each other and sometimes even bringing me into the angry discussion and making me the jelly of the sandwich. After the trip, they were pretty decent with each other. It seemed as if everything was back to normal and they loved each other, but when the room was silent and my presence wasn't known, I could feel the tension. I knew that they were waiting to get a divorce until I went to college so it wouldn't be so hard on me, which is almost too considerate of them. I was pretty depressed when the topic of separation came up, but now I am actually accepting the divorce. I am eighteen, and I am soon going to be out of their hairs. Why should my feelings get in the way of their happiness? They had given me everything they could in my eighteen years and I guess I could see where they were coming from. The small ordeals at home and the attention given to me at shcool could be a little overwhelming at times, though.

The only reason all of this attention was bearable was because Eli was with me to help me out. He had obviously been through fake friends before and relaly helped me get through this phase. I can't lie, having all of this attention was actually really amazing but there were times where I couldn't take it. Eli was always there to help me out and talk me through the process. Eli was just as attentive as ever. After his tour was over, he told me that he and the band focused on putting together their new album together and strengthening their relationship. He had also asked when we could finish working on our song and record it, but it was nearly impossible for me to go out of town without my parents knowing. I considered telling them, but Eli was a little skeptical. He said he was scared they would forbid me from seeing him. I had giggled and told him he was silly, when really I was scared of the consequences for going behind their back. I feared their reaction to my bad behavior, plus the fact that I was dating the infamously hard-rock, tortured soul Elijah Goldsworthy. Let me just tell you, teen rebellion and punk rock star boyfriends don't really mix well in my parents' book.

It didn't matter anyway.

Our relationship grew stronger and stronger by the minute and I couldn't be more happier. Eli was opening up to me more, telling me about Fitz and how he was surprised to know that I forgave him. He mentioned that Fitz had been acting weird, but nonetheless had started to act civil with Eli and actually apologized. Eli still had his doubts, but he accepted it anyway. I was happy that Eli and the band was close, it made me happy to hear of his success and happiness. However, he still hadn't mentioned GCJ...

I was currently sitting outside on the steps of Degrassi as I wated for my mom to pick me up. I had stayed after school for 'Jesus Club' as Eli called it, and needed a ride. I didn't feel like walking. I sighed and played with the ring on my finger, tracing the pattern of Eli's ring. Alli had told me today that she and Drew were official now and that she was very happy with him. I could not have been happier for my best friend, and I knew that she deserved someone to treat her right. I hoped that Drew was that person... Just then, I heard jocks coming out through the door and froze. I knew KC was there, and I hope he didn't notice me. KC had been trying to reach me, but I have been completely ignoring him. I knew that he and Jenna were a little shaky with the big news of her pregnancy, and I couldn't think of a worse time to come crawling back to me begging to talk to him. He probably didn't even want me back (not that I wanted him), but it was annoying anyway. I closed my eyes and wished I was invisible, but then I felt someone sit next to me.

I opened my eyes and frowned when, of course, KC sat with his moist head and dirty football jersey.

"Clare...?"

"Yes, KC?" I sighed, looking away and resting my chin on my hand.

"Why haven't you been answering my texts?" he asked softly.

I stared at him incredulously and scoffed.

"You have given me no reason to answer. You've just been asking if the rumors are true and you are in no place to ask that!" I replied angrily.

"Yes it is my place!" he answerd back.

I lifted my eyebrow and crossed my arms. "Really? And why is that?"

"Because I'm your ex-boyfriend and I still care about you. I mean, not like that...I presume you've...heard of Jenna..." he murmured.

"Yes, I am. And not to doom Jenna or her baby, but I'm glad this happened to you. I know that part of the reason you broke up with me because of my abstinence and now it's biting you back," I grit, hoping my mom would come faster.

KC sighed and scratched his head, looking down. "Clare...I just want to know if you're okay," he sighed.

"Yes, I'm okay. Happy?" I replied with edge, standing up straight.

"You're happy that everyone thinks you're going out with that rock star?" KC asked in confusion.

"I don't care what everyone thinks," I replied grimly.

"...wait. Clare, where's your ring?" he asked suddenly.

I looked down at my hand and showed it to him, as if he was stupid. He grabbed my hand, a little too roughly, and lifted it to his face. I gasped and frowned at him angrily as he inspected it with suspicion.

"This isn't your abstinence ring. Where is it?" he asked, anger starting to cloud his eyes.

I pursed my lips and pinned my eyebrows together in confusion.

"I don't have it with me right now, why is that such a big deal?" I asked sharply.

He paused, letting me take my hand from his grip and aid it smoothly. I watched as his face tightened, his eyes darkening with anger and his body tensing. His eyes met mine with fierce anger.

"You gave it to him, didn't you? You slept with him!" he accused, his nostrils flaring dangerously.

I gasped and stared in frustration, anger, and shock.

"No I didn't! What's the matter with you, KC? Stop jumping to conclusions!" I seethed.

It's not that I was ashamed of having given my ring to Eli, but I think both he and I can agree that this matter is not something to be taken lightly to the press. For my sake. If I told KC, it would be out and it would damage his and my reputation. I didn't mind letting loose in front of Eli, but I was going to defend both of our reputations in front of everyone else.

"Then why the hell don't you have it on? You never went a day without it for as long as I can remember. Now, ever since this gossip has come out, you suddenly don't have it. Don't lie to me, I'm not fucking stupid!" he growled, his hand gripping my wrist tightly and making me wince.

I stood up and made him lose his balance, pulling my wrist back from his rough grip. It was slightly red as I held it to my chest.

"So you go out with me for almost a year and all we did was kiss, with the occasional make out on the couch. You know this guy for, what, a week and you have sex with him? What the fuck?" he yelled, standing up and tightening his fists.

I gasped at his vulgar language and his anger, making me stagger back in fear of his uncontrollable state of mind. I was so FRUSTRATED! I wanted to tell him off, curse him to his grave and say things that I probably would have never said! My anger was already to that point, but I knew that I couldn't say all of those thing. Not now.

"No, I didn't KC! I am true to my faith and your opinion doesn't matter to me anyway so stop acting like such a...UGH!" I grunted, feeling relief when I saw my mother's car pull up.

I stomped my way to the car, when I heard KC yell my name, his voice slightly calmer. I turned back with a death glare as he walked over to me, his body flush with anger.

"At least tell me this...are you at least going out with the guy?" he said softly, his eyes hardly controlled.

I grit my teeth and exhaled sharply. You know what? I didn't care anymore. If this was going to get him off my back, then so be it.

"Yes, okay? I am dating Elijah Goldsworthy, that genious, brilliant rock star that's currently giving the concert of his life and I love him more than I thought I loved you. So shut the _fuck _up, KC, and don't tell me what to do," I stated strongly, walking the rest of the way to my mom's car.

I got into the car breathless, amazed that I had actually stood up to him after an episode like that and said a profanity! As my mom zoomed off, a small smile played on my lips when I noticed his awe-struck expression. Oh yeah. I am Clare, hear me ROAR!

What I didn't know was that rumors are very, very hard to stop when they start. Especially when it starts with a jealous ex-boyfriend.

**oooooooooo**

A week passed since the KC incident, and it was now Wednesday, the day before the first day of December. Word had gotten out that I had, indeed, confirmed my relationship with Eli and it seemed that I got even more attention now. There wasn't one person in school that hadn't come up to me yet, whether it was for kissing up, asking questions, or just making comments about how gorgeous he was. I didn't like having my entire life on display for everyone, but I knew that was a consequence of dating a celebrity. I didn't mind, if it meant having Eli. I was at home, wearing my warm night gown and fluffy socks while typing out an essay on my laptop. I had just finished eating dinner and I was trying very hard to finish this for English, but the words just didn't seem to come. I sighed and leaned back on my chair, checking my phone. It was weird, usually Eli called me at night but he still hasn't called. I crossed my legs on the chair and opened up my IM page, checking to see if he was online. I scrolled down my contact list to find Morty, but he wasn't online. I shrugged and closed my laptop, taking a break so that the words could flow freely.

Then, my phone rang.

I smiled when I saw his name on the screen and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, blue eyes. Missed me?" he , a lot of wind blowing in the background.

I smiled and plopped down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"What if I said no?" I teased, knowing that it was a complete lie.

"Well...then I'd have to prove you wrong then, hmm?"

I hummed in confusion when I heard him grunt breathlessly, his voice fading in and out as the phone slipped and moved around. I called out his name, but only heard the wind and shuffling. I sat up on my bed when I heard the crunch and crackle of the tree in front of my window and gasped, holding my breath. I clutched onto the phone tightly as I slowly moved from my bed to my window, moving the curtain to the side slowly. I gasped when I saw a hooded figure on the tallest tree branch reaching for my balcony railing. I was about to scream for my parents when the man jumped onto the balcony, when he lifted his head and I saw the smug grin on the face of Elijah Goldsworthy.

"Scared of the big bad wolf, blue eyes?" he rasped into the phone, his deep voice sending shivers down my spine.

I threw the phone on my bed and opened the window, letting him climb in. Once he was in my warm room, I wasted no time and threw myself at him, hugging the living daylights out of him. Eli chuckled softly in my ear and wrapped his strong arms around my waist, lifting me up slightly. I giggled and burried my face in his neck, taking in his intoxicating scent. I felt my back arch as the sensitive nerve endings on my spine contracted at having him in my arms again, so suddenly. My bare feet touched the ground gently, but his arms were still wrapped tightly around me. He leaned his head down and kissed my shoulder gently, before nuzzling his cheek on it, swaying my waist softly. I smiled as we danced to an imaginary song, our bodies humming with pleasure and joy of being with each other again. I sighed in his ear and ran my hands through his hair. I always loved playing with his hair, it was so soft and long. Before I had met him, one of the items on my "bucket list" were to meet him and ask him to play with his hair for hours.

Eli inhaled slowly, skimming his nose up the length of my neck until he reached my ear, where he exhaled hotly and making me shudder in pleasure. His large hands sprawled on my back and he pressed me further to him, our bodies still swaying.

"Well, Miss Edwards, I'd say that I just proved your little statement to be a lie," he whispered, sticking out his moist tongue and licking along my earlobe.

I tightened my hand in his hair and pulled him back, sucking in his plump lower lip in between my teeth. He groaned and pulled his bottom lip from mine and kissed me frantically, desperatley moving his lips over mine while bringing his hands up to cup my face eagerly. I whimpered as his lips devoured mine passionatley, hungrily. I got on my tip toes and fisted my hands in his hair as sparks of pleasure spiked my body. He was just so irresistable when he was like this, kissing me with dominance and power, I just wanted to stay like this for all eternity. Too fast, too soon, his kisses slowed in fervor. I mewled and clutched onto his hair tighter to keep him with me. I thought I had succeeded when I heard him grunt lowly, but his hands dropped from my face and held my waist softly. His lips left mine with the soft noise of suction being broken, his nose skimming mine gently.

"As much as I would love to take you right here and now, and trust me...I _really _want to have my way with you right now...you and I both know you are incapable of being quiet," he whispered against my lips, chuckling as I pouted angrily.

"That is not true!" I whispered harshly, removing my hands from his hair as punishment.

A mischeivous grin twitched onto his lips, and before I knew what was going on, he had my right leg hitched on his hip and his other hand skimmed over the sensitive part of my lower back that made me writhe in pleasure. I gasped and couldn't control the loud moan that left my lips as I pressed my hips to his jean-clad ones. I instantly pressed my lips into a line with realization, and Eli removed himself from me with a stupid smug smirk on his perfect lips. I huffed and crossed my arms angrily, my cheeks flushing as I wastched Eli chuckle and move to sit on my rotating desk chair. His smirk twitched higher as he watched me sit on the edge of my bed, trying my best to stare daggers at him but failing miserably. How could _anyone _give Eli the death glare when he was just...so beautiful. Ugh, curse him and his charm!

"So Clare, when can I swoop you away to an exotic island? Christmas break?" he teased, rolling the chair closer to the bed.

"Eli, we can't just get on a plane and spend millions of dollars on a completely spontaneous trip," I argued, having had this conversation before and hating shooting down his idea.

"Yes we can," he stated simply.

"YOU can, I don't have the kind of money," I said quietly, making sure my parents didn't hear our loud conversation.

"No, _we _can. What's mine is yours, blue eyes. I have more than enough for the two of us and all of your friends and acquaintances combined, with much to spare. Money is not an issue. Anything you want, you can have it, Clare," he said, waving his hands in indifference.

"I know it's not an issue, but I could never...I would never ask you to spend on me that way," I said, shlyly playing with the hem of my nightgown.

He grunted. "Are you saying that I can never spoil you with jewlery and all the fines chocolates in the world?"

I lifted a delicate eyebrow. "You want to spoil me?"

"Very much," Eli breathed honestly, surprising me. "You deserve anything, and everything that I can give you. I want to spoil you, because I can't believe you're mine," he said.

I blushed and tore my gaze from his, my heart fluttering at his confession.

"I just want you to know that I don't want you for your money, Eli. It's never been about money..." I trailed off, looking at my pale fingers on my lap.

I saw Eli lean towards me with the corner of my eye, his hands interlaced as he leaned on his elbows.

"Hey, look at me," he whispered.

I looked up at him nervously and saw the intensity in his eyes, making me shiver under his piercing gaze.

"You're sweet, Clare. So innocently,_ temptingly _sweet. Only you could possibly be worried that I'd think you wanted me for my money," he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. He brought the chair closer until our knees were touching, and put my small hands in his. I looked up at him with a sheepish smile as the geniuine smile on his lips making my heart soar. "I know that it was never about the money, nor will it ever be. So just stop worrying and let me enjoy the fruits of my labor by spending it how I want: on you."

I smiled and leaned forward to press my lips to his softly, sharing a sweet kiss that made my toes curl.

"CLARE! Can you come downstairs, please?" my mother's shrill voice called from downstairs, making the both of us jump in shock.

My eyes widened and I immediatley stood up. I grabbed Eli's arm and pulled him up, watching as his eyes searched for a place to go.

"Would you mind hiding in my closet? I promise not to leave you in there for long," I whispered frantically.

He chuckled and stole a chaste kiss from me before walking into my walk-in closet and sitting in the corner, my long dresses draping his head and shoulders. I giggled at him and closed the door, leaving it slightly ajar. I put on my slippers and checked my room one last time, to make sure there was no evidence, and ran outside. A goofy grin was plastered on my face as I skipped down the stairs, the happiness in my heart and soul making me feel like I was floating. I stepped down the last step and turned the corner, expecting to find my parents aimlessly talking or something.

I was wrong.

The blood froze in my veins and I felt my heart drop to my stomach when I noticed my mother's death glare and my father's reserved expression as they sat in the dinning table, waiting. I knew instantly that the problem was not within themselves, nor was the discussion going to be short. They were going to talk about me.

"W-What's going on?" I stuttered, my voice quiet in the thick room.

"Sit down, Clare," my mother's stern voice grit out, her body tense.

My jaw shook with panic and my whole body felt cold as I dragged my feet slowly to the chair in front of the two of them, pulling out the chair and sitting stiffly. The room became silent, and neither of my parents moving or looking at me. Oh no...please don't tell me that...

"What, exactly, did you say you did these two weeks we were away?" my father asked, his voice polite yet accusing.

I closed my eyes in horror. Oh God...they knew. My heart pounded in my ears and I rubbed my hands together to try and stay calm. I wasn't sure if they knew about that, maybe they didn't. I shouldn't tell them. Or should I? I was so confused! I was just wrapping myself up further in this lie.

"Why do you ask? What...is this about?" I asked softly, trying to make my voice sound confident. Even I knew it was a lie.

My mom sighed in frustration and looked at my dad, murmuring something that I couldn't understand. She got up and went into the kitchen. When she came back, she threw five different magazines on the table, the force of the throw making me cringe. I hesitantly opened my eyes and read the cover of the magazines. My mouth dried and my entire body froze in shock and panic, as I saw only pictures of Proxemics, Eli, and hazy pictures of myself and Alli in the small pictures. I let out a shaky breath and knew that this had to come eventually. I couldn't hide a secret forever. Oh my god, it was going to be very, very bad.

"What were you THINKING? I was just on my way to give donations to Father Tom, when Mrs. Doris tells me about how her daughter had been saying that you came out in a magazine! She already had a copy for me to see, and even though it's hazy, we all know that you lied to us Clare! What the hell happened this weekend?" she screamed, throwing her arms frantically and scaring me so much.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. All I felt were the silent tears that ran down my cheeks.

"Helen, let the girl speak. Maybe she has an explanation for this..." my father said softly, always on my side in some way.

My mother's deadly face shot to my father's sharply. "I don't believe this! Why the hell are you giving her the benefit of the doubt _again_, Randall?" she exclaimed, turning her gaze to me and making me wince. "This magazine says that you went to this band's concert and went backstage with them, in Toronto. TORONTO! There's also pictures of Alli in here and I already told the Bhandari's about this, but we trusted you! How did you buy the tickets? How did Alli's parents even let her out? You went to Toronto unsupervised, went to see this band that I specifically told you was not in your best interest, and now there are rumors EVERYWHERE that you were involved with this boy and that he even came down for the weekend! So you had him in the house, with NO ADULTS? I thought I knew who you were, Clare Diane Edwards, but I don't even know what to THINK anymore!" she screamed, her muscles tight and her eyes flaring with anger.

Her rant continued longer and longer, accusing me of my crimes and evidently threatening and declaring that my freedom would be taken away. I felt numb. I could no longer hear what she was saying, only see what was happening. My arms were wrapped around my chest to somehow protect myself from the pain, but it only throbbed more. The silent tears ran down my cheeks continuously, only increasing when I saw my father gaze up at me with disappointment. I let out a sob as I saw him turn away from me. My dad always supported me, with everything, and I had never once seen him angry at me. Now, watching him look at me lowly with those eyes, I felt like I was dying.

"Do you have ANYTHING to say about this, young lady?" my mom finally let out, panting wildly.

I looked up at her and kept my mouth open, the words not able to come out.

"...I-I love him, mom," I managed to whisper, the only words that could possibly justify everything.

She scoffed, making my heart sting.

"I don't _care_ what the hell you feel for this...this corrupted, twisted boy! You are never going to see that boy again, **EVER**!" she bit out.

I choked and let out a dry sob as my tears dripped on my hands, because there was only one thing on my mind as my mother continued to scream and yell. Not the fact that I was going to be punished forever, or that I wasn't allowed to see Eli anymore, or that my mother might just use violence against me. No.

The only thing I could think about was Eli sitting upstairs in my closet, listening to the whole thing.

* * *

Oh.

It had to be done! Did you think they were never going to find out? Reviews are most appreciated, and loved. Thank you, and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me for this heart-breaking chapter.

**WAZAM**


	13. Aftermath

Please forgive me for the late update! I had a previous engagement that I could not get out of and I was not able to finish this chapter. Guess what? This is my longest chapter yet! So of course, you can imagine that I wasn't able to finish. At least it's not too late, it's only a day late.

I would like to dedicate this chapter to _PavedWithBadIntention_s, because she was a huge inspiration to this story and she is one of the best writers I have ever seen. I am glad that I met her and hope that I can continue to have her and her devious little mind with me. I also dedicate this chapter to _Shehadastory_, because without her, Eli's amazing jaw line and hip sucking would not have been possible. FINALLY! I dedicate this to all of my faithful readers, reviewers, and new readers as well. If it were not for you, this would not have been possible nor would I have enjoyed this writing experience as much as I have. Thank you guys, you're awesome!

**WARNING, WARNING, WARNING!**  
**This chapter is extremely naughty.**

Enjoy at your own risk! And leave me a pretty little review while you're at it?

**Disclaimer: **I own a lit up Christmas tree, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 13._

"WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, CLARE DIANE EDWARDS?" my mother yelled as I pounded up the stairs, tears falling down my cheeks angrily.

"AWAY FROM _YOU_!" I yelled back, my throat scratchy from all of my screaming.

I opened the door to my room and slammed it shut, locking the door and kicking it in anger. I grit my teeth and let out a frustrated, tight scream as my entire body tightened painfully with stress. When my mother forbid me from seeing Eli, something inside of me snapped and I was not scared of her anymore. We had been downstairs screaming and yelling, each of us trying to be louder than the other to show some form of dominance. I fought back, arguing with everything I could as she stubbornly stood to her stupid moral rules. My dad was just sitting there, watching us yell back and forth with a passive expression on his face, infuriating me all the more. After about an hour of heavy discussions, she finally saw my ring hand. More importantly, she saw the absent ring on my ring finger and the new ring on my middle finger. Her eyes had widened impossibly and her mouth gaped, like an idiot. I didn't even bother bringing it up; I slashed around and ran to my room. She obviously had more to talk about, but I had nothing more to say to her. I heard my parents arguing downstairs, but the volume was much lower.

I cupped my hands over my face and let the angry tears drag away the tension, my muscles shaking with its enormity. My ears finally picked up the shuffling behind me, and I quickly turned around to the source. Eli had opened the closet and was uncurling his back to stand in his proud, long posture, his eyes piercing mine with an unreadable expression. His hair fell over his eyes, darkening the shadows and his lips were drawn in a line. He looked pensive, serious, but I could not gauge his reaction. He looked angry, but at the same time he looked lost. I thought I saw pity, but then I realized that he was waiting to see what i would do. I bit my lip and stared at the man in front of me, the forbidden fruit I was never even supposed to take.

"Do you want me to leave?" Eli asked softly, his stunning voice hesitant.

I curled my lips into a frown and let fresh tears start to fall, a small sob escaping as I crossed my arm on my waist and lifted my other hand to my lips.

"Please don't," I confessed shakily.

I just wanted him to hold me, and that thought made me want to cry so much because I knew how complicated this was. I dropped my head and let the soft sobs break through my throat as I watched Eli's feet step towards me. I sighed when I felt his arms wrap around me protectively, bringing me to his chest and wrapping me to his warmth. I rested my cheek on his chest and sighed again, keeping my hands in between us. His hand rubbed smooth circles along my back as he rested his chin on my head, calming down my sobs and soothing the anger. After a few minutes, my tears had slowed and my body was tired from the abuse of emotions. Eli suddenly let go of me and went to turn off the lights, the only light coming from the dim lamp on my desk. He took off his boots and sat on my bed Indian-style against the headboard, looking at me curiously. I smiled sadly when he pat his lap in invitation to join him.

I crawled on the bed and laid down on my set to let my head rest on his lap, his hands immediatley coming down to greet me. I sighed softly and brought my hands to his jeans when one hand rested lazily on my waist and the other played with my curls. Eventually, my parents had calmed. Eli and I were silent as we heard my parents sigh and say that they would leave the topic for another day. My dad offered to drive my mom around to calm her, which she accepted. I heard the scraping of wood, and eventually the front door opened and closed. It was silent, my parents had gone.

"I'm guessing you heard everything, huh?" I asked softly, tracing with the seams of his jeans.

Eli chuckled. "Oh yeah, the twisted, corrupted boy hiding in the sweet, naive girl's closet hearing exactly what he knew all along," he said bitterly, and I knew he was only acting tough for my sake.

I stiffened and wiped my cheeks, guilt creeping up my heart.

"I know it's not my place to ask or anything, but where do you stand on this? Please tell me you're not..." he trailed off, not wanting to say it.

A sigh escaped my lips and I twisted my body so I was face up and I could look at him properly.

"I'm eighteen and my mother can't tell me who I can or can't date. I mean, it feels really awful going against her when I have to live here for the next few months, but I'd rather be happy. I've given up enough of fun throughout my lifetime by just following rules all the time. I like being corrupted by you, Mr. Goldsworthy," I grinned, my humor surfacing again.

Eli smirked, his eyes glimmering with relief. "So, you _do _like me bad," he breathed huskily, my stomach doing a back flip as he leaned down closer to my face.

"Not_ too_ bad..."I whispered, wanting to sound threatening, but failing miserably and sounding like a dishonest plea.

He raised one perfect eyebrow and smirked, his signature look, and I knew he could see right through me. I felt the heat of his hand radiate against my stomach as he started to draw his fingers up and down slowly, sensually.

"Oh yes. You see, what you don't know is that even though you say you like being corrupted by me..." he started, walking his fingers to the side of my breast, then passing over it over and over, making me whimper. "...I like corrupting you even more," he whispered darkly.

I shuddered and moaned softly, wanting him to put his hands on me. His fingers were circling my breasts, but he never went where I needed him most and it was killing me!

"I know that your saintly morals are just a facade. You like being bad, don't you? You love being a fighter when you know I'm always going to win," he coaxed darkly, smirking as my eyes glazed over in lust at his words. "Admit it, blue eyes, the idea of sneaking around behind your parent's wishes turns you on."

That was all it took. I brought my hands up to clutch his hair tightly, bringing those amazing, plump lips to mine passionately. The tip of his nose lightly touched my face as the new position made me shudder. Eli growled deeply, darkly, before completely removing his lips from mine. I whined a little louder than I intended to when he also slid his legs from beneath me, making my head fall to the soft mattress in disappointment. Oh, but Eli was always full of surprises. I gasped breathlessly when I suddenly felt Eli's full body weight press against the length of my body and kiss me frantically. His forearms framed my head as I slid my arms over his broad shoulders, clawing his shirt as the pressure on every single curve had my writhing and forget everything that happened earlier. He bit my lip seductively, making me gasp and arch my back into him. He pierced his tongue into my mouth and played with mine expertly, dominating me in every way.

Then, he did something that I had never felt before. He pressed his open mouth to mine and inhaled sharply, stealing the air from my lungs in a single suck. My eyes widened as the need for air sent red-hot adrenaline through my body and the feeling was indescribable. He dropped his face from mine and sucked on my neck, panting harshly as he hitched my thigh over his hips and pressed further into me. I moaned breathlessly, my eyes wide and my mouth agape as I bucked my hips against Eli's to ease the wild fire he had created in me. I dragged his face up to mine again and pressed my lips to his, opening his lips with mine and sucked in, intoxicated. He thrust his hips sharply and, before I could move away like he did, Eli tilted his head further and took my breath away again.

We separated our lips harshly, gasping and panting as I somehow pushed him over and left me straddling his waist with my thin nightgown already inching up my thigh. The sound of our heavy breathing and my frantic heart aroused me even further, and I moaned when I felt Eli's hands grip my hips above him. I closed my eyes and sighed, loving the powerful feeling that coursed through me when his large hands moved around my petite body. I leaned down and moved his shirt up slightly, so that I could lick his stomach experimentally. Eli grunted softly as I moved my lips to the side. When I reached his hip bones, I bit down softly and sucked. Eli let out a strangled groan, and immediately sat up, dragging me back up on his hips. I whimpered as Eli sucked on my earlobe and his heavy filled my senses, the feeling so overwhelming that I didn't know if I wanted to push him away or beg for more. I felt him grin against my ear, his hand skimming my thigh, up and slowly under my nightgown...

"Clare, are you up there?" my mom's voice called from downstairs, followed by a shut of a door.

We both froze, and then I sighed and Eli groaned out in frustration.

"I don't think your mother hates me as much as I hate her right now," he whispered harshly, dropping his hands and opening the distance between us.

I bit my lip and dropped my head to his shoulder. I swung my leg over his hips and removed myself from him, standing up shakily on the floor. He fixed his hair, and his pants, before sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at me.

"Should I hide in your closet?" he asked quietly.

I smiled. "No, I think it's time the big bad wolf went home for the night."

Eli pouted and I giggled quietly. He stood up and reached to hold my hand,purposefully,his deep emerald eyes pierced my own.

"You owe me," he stated.

He squeezed my hand as he stole one last kiss from me, a sweet kiss. When he pulled away, I removed my hand from his to walk towards my balcony door. I opened it and stood next to it, winking. Eli smirked wickedly and made his way outside into the cool night air, taking hold of the branches of the tree. He looked back at me, just to make sure I was fine, and I nodded my head, closing the balcony door and smiling softly. He smiled back, a breathtaking smile, and proceeded into climbing down the tree and disappearing into the night. I bit my lip and closed the curtains, reaching for my phone in the night stand when I heard it vibrate.

_Remind me to kill Mrs. Doris' daughter tomorrow. I am grounded for LIFE...but it was so worth it!  
-Alli_

I smiled softly and replied, voicing my complete agreement to both:

First I'll get over this last conversation with my parents. Then, I'll corner Mrs. Doris' daughter with Alli and claw her face off. Finally, I'll stare at Eli's picture until he gets back so that I can finish what he started.

**oooooooooo**

The stress of my parent's divorce had affected the recent show of events, which caused the entire situation to go out of control. My parents had cooled when they called me down that night, and we calmly talked about what happened. I then realized that my mom wasn't really angry, she was disappointed more than anything. My father, I didn't know of. He wouldn't really speak, he would just nod and listen objectively. I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders once I told my parents the EXTREMELY modified version of my relationship with Eli. My mother had looked down upon me, and clearly stated that I was to stop seeing him. Even if she was calmer, she stuck to her decision. However, I only nodded slightly, not wanting to fight her off because I was going to go behind her back anyway. There was no way I would give up Eli now, it was impossible. Life returned to its normalcy, somewhat.

The fight had worn off, and so had the next few weeks as mid-December blew in.

I had started getting acceptance letters from colleges, and I was extremely happy that I did not get rejected from any of my top colleges. That really helped to give me points with my parents, and I knew that this small period of solitary confinement would end soon. My parents agreed that they would move out and separate once I chose a college and left, that way it would be easier on me. It was an effort for them to stay together this way, holding off the divorce for my sake, but the marriage camp had helped the fighting to decrease. On top of that, going to school was becoming even weirder now. Whenever Alli and I walked the hallways, went to get lunch, or even just stayed after school in the library, there would always be at least one person to come up to us and beg us to confirm, ONCE AGAIN, that we were dating the untouchable rock stars. At first, it felt really awesome to feel like people parted like the Red Sea whenever we walked around. Then, it just started getting to be _too_ much.

"Shut up!"

"Excuse me?"

"So that really is Elijah Goldsworthy's one-of-a-kind ring?"

_Sigh._

"For the fifth time, yes it is."

"Why did he give it to you?"

"Because...I'm his girlfriend and he wanted me to keep it?"

"OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!"

"...No, I will not shut up."

"So, then, Elijah Goldsworthy's phone number is in your contact list? Like THE Elijah Goldsworthy's phone number?"

_My God, these people..._

"Yes...?"

"SHUT UUUUUUP! Do you think you could...you know...share?"

"Uh, no."

"What? Why not?"

"Maybe because he's _my _boyfriend?"

"Oh...that's right. Okay, bye Clarrisa!"

"...It's Clare."

I had that conversation at least once every hour these days. It was overwhelming sometimes, and extremely tedious. Alli was just as uncomfortable with all of the questions she would get from the closet Drew Torres fans. Sometimes, I was jealous of her. I mean, everybody knew who Drew was and was just as important as Eli, but for some reason I was the one that got the most attention around school. Eli was the figure head of the band, the idol, the hot, twisted sex god that became the fantasy of every little girl that hid behind a bible and safe boy bands. Sometimes, I would just go and hide in the bathroom for a little while. I would sit on the closed stall and just breathe, overwhelmed with the persistent fan girls and greedy guys who wanted my friendship for their advantage.

Then, there was that small whisper in the air.

That tiny, little voice in the back of the screaming adorations that began to grow, multiply. Some people from my "Jesus club" have asked me, if the rumors were true. I would immediately dispell it and think it was about my relationship, but it wasn't. They would all look at the ring on my finger, and then back at me with revelation. I asked what the rumor was, but no one would tell me what it was. I had a feeling that something was going on and I didn't like it. I told Alli about it, and she said that she would keep her ears open for anything suspicious. It was growing; soon enough, I knew all of this would explode and I wanted to keep it in control as much as I could.

I was beyond tired! I was already ecstatic that this week would be the last week of this school semester and I could finally get away from everything and just...spend time with Eli. I really missed him and I wanted to find a way to be with him this Christmas break. Whenever we talked on the phone, texted, or even IM'ed online, it would only be for a short period of time. He was very busy now that the album was getting together and the deadline was soon. I really missed him. I was seriously considering taking his offer up on stealing me away to an exotic vacation for a while.

Tonight was taco night at my house, and I was finishing up my essay for Mrs. Dawes. I had to write about an issue in my life and present it as my final exam on the last day next week, which was pretty nerve-raking. I had a few topics in my head: I could either talk about my parents divorce, but that would be too personal, or Eli and the unwanted attention I was getting now, but that was a little conceited...

Then, I got an alert on my IM.

**morty-golds49: **hey, shortcake ;)

**clare-e23: **oh god please tell me that is not my new pet name!

**morty-golds49**: no, it's not. I like vixen better, personally. it's kinky

I blushed and felt my body heat up.

**clare-e23: **you and your kinkiness ;) so what's up, morty?

**morty-golds49: **I have a surprise for you

**clare-e23: **surprise?

**morty-golds49: **yes, a surprise. and no, I didn't spend a lot of money on it so shush. what are you going to be doing for the next two hours?

I lifted an eyebrow and bit my lip.

**clare-e23: **I'm actually going to be having taco night with my parents, so I'm not gonna be able to do webcam tonight if THAT'S what you're implying.

**morty-golds49: **no no, I'm gonna save that for another night. it's perfect, you just keep doing what you're doing.

**clare-e23: **so...what's the surprise?

_MORTY-GOLDS49 has signed off. _

What the-?

I got off the computer and took out my phone, quickly sending him a text message to ask what happened. Even ten minutes later, he didn't respond. I was about to call him when my parents called me downstairs for dinner. I put on my ballerina flats and went downstairs, helping out my mother bring the taco shells to the table. I smiled as my dad helped me put the table, and sighed softly when he smiled awkwardly. He was still a little off about what had happened and it was a little discouraging. He was trying, though, and I hoped that our relationship would mend.

My mom sat down at the table, bringing with her our iced teas and smiled warmly. My dad sat down and cleared his throat, placing his napkin on his lap. I was about to sit, when suddenly we heard the doorbell ring. We snapped our heads to the front door and my eyes widened. Was it...? I immediately power walked towards the door and opened it slightly to peek my head out. My jaw dropped and my heart fluttered.

Elijah Goldsworthy was at my doorstep wearing a _white_ button-down, buttoned at a modest level, navy blue skinny jeans, black shiny shoes, holding a large Christmas bowl filled with cookies. Holy mother...

"Surprise," he said sheepishly, looking down at the Christmas bowl.

"You're not supposed to be here, you know! What's the surprise? You in white or freshly made Christmas cookies?" I asked in disbelief, taking in the sight of him. He looked practically angelic, it was incredible!

He lifted his gaze to my eyes through his thick eyelashes shyly. "Both?"

"Eli, my parents are in there! You can't come in..." I murmured and looked back at my parents, who were eyeing me curiously.

I looked back at Eli, who had a determined look on his face. "Clare, I have decided that you're too important to make this informal. I want your parents to like me, and I'm going to win them so that I can have their approval. As much as I love sneaking around, ," he stated.

My jaw dropped, again, and I couldn't speak. He wanted to face my parents?

"Clare? Who's outside?" my mother asked from inside.

I looked at him in panic, and he nudged his head to the door as he straightened himself up and took a deep breath. I shakily opened the door completely, moving out of the way to let Eli in. I watched as he took long steps inside and walked straight up to my kitchen table, my parents staring in confusion. Then, I saw the click in my mother's eye and her jaw dropped.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards, I am very sorry for the sudden intrusion but I was wondering if I could join you for dinner," he stated fluently, surely.

"I'm sorry, but who are you, exactly?" my dad asked curiously, his eyes glancing at me.

I closed the door with indifference and stared at the back of my boyfriend's head, praying for his mercy.

"My name is Elijah Jay Goldsworthy, and I really care for your daughter," he said, his arms tightening as his hold on the bowl of cookies tightened. "I made you and your family some gingerbread cookies with my mom this morning, as a gift," he continued, softer this time.

Both of my parents stared in awe, dropping their forks on the table. I sucked in a breath, not realizing that I had stopped breathing.

"...please, uh...please sit down, Elijah," my mother said breathlessly, her face absolutely priceless.

**oooooooooo**

So, I thought dinner was going to end with knives on the wall and horror.

"Wow, that is absolutely incredible! You're going to finish recording your album in New York?" my dad asked incredulously, genuinely interested.

"Oh, Elijah! It must be so amazing to go to New York during Christmas!" my mom cooed, completely engulfed in the conversation.

It turns out, Elijah Goldsworthy is a real crowd pleaser. Literally.

"Please, Mrs. Edwards, call me Eli," Eli said in a luscious voice, making me swoon on the chair next to him.

When dinner first started out, the tension in the air was thick. I could practically see the accusations in my mother's eyes: "_I thought you weren't talking to him anymore!_" and "_You put us in a position where we couldn't say no! How dare you_!" However, Eli seemed completely oblivious of the tension and cranked up the charm. If I didn't know any better, I would have said that Eli was the sweet one in the relationship because he was being absolutely phenomenal. He somehow managed to melt the ice and got my parents asking him questions about his career. They never mentioned me, which made me happy, but Eli talked to them with excitement in his voice and animated expressions that were absolutely adorable. Even if I knew the entire story, I couldn't help but become lost in the story as well. He had such a way with words, that boy. At some parts of the dinner, I couldn't help but stare as he took bites of the crunchy taco. The way his lips curled and his tongue licked as he ate and talked, making the whole table laugh whole-heartedly and making me hot. To think that those hot little lips had said all of those dirty things to me, and was now using those lips to butter up my parents. He would randomly gaze at me through the corner of his eyes and smirk wickedly, making me blush furiously.

This was the best night, ever.

For dessert, we had some of Eli's home-made cookies. They were so delicious, but I wished I wasn't so full. Of course, my mother gushed on and on about how amazing the cookies were and that she wanted to take his mom's recipe, to which Eli smiled sheepishly. My dad talked to Eli about music, and how he wrote his songs. My dad was always into that kind of stuff, so he came to like Eli fairly quickly. Eli mentioned that he was going to finish recording his album in New York, and planned to stay there for two weeks to finish. My heart quickened when he turned to look at me, and I knew that there was an underlying message.

He wanted me to go with him to New York.

By the end of the dinner, I could tell that my parents' opinion of Eli had completely changed and I couldn't help but feel light-hearted. I really wanted to talk to Eli alone, though.

"Well, this has been lovely. I'm glad that you came for dinner, Eli," my mother sighed.

"Thank you for taking me, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards," he said sincerely.

I smiled and stood up, starting to grab the dirty plates on my hands. Eli stood up and stopped me from my actions. "Here, let me help you with that," he said, taking the dirty plates from her hands with ease and taking them to the kitchen. I blushed and picked up the remaining dishes before following him into the kitchen.

When I entered the kitchen, he was smirking in victory with his hands in his pockets. I placed the dishes in the sink with the rest and hugged him tightly. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his cheek on the top of my head.

"You're crazy, Eli! Absolutely crazy!" I whispered, my heart so big that I thought it would explode.

"Crazy for you," he breathed back, chuckling at his cheesy line.

I groaned and let him go, smacking his arm.

"Ouch, blue eyes!" he feigned hurt, laughing along with me.

I giggled and sighed, practically floating. He looked behind me and smiled at my parents before turning back to me.

"Do you think Momma Edwards likes me for her baby girl now?" he asked softly, his smirk growing.

"I'll talk to her when you leave," I replied, turning on the water over the dirty dishes.

"Well see, that's the thing..." he started, trailing off. I looked up at him curiously. "I was wondering if, now that your parents are kind of cool with me, they would let you out for a few hours," he said hesitantly.

I lifted an eyebrow curiously. "Where would we go?"

He leaned against the counter and searched my eyes. "I've never done this before, open up my entire world for one person, even for Julia. I'm ready, though. I want to let you in to the birth place, the one place that has always been shielded to protect my past."

I stopped what I was doing and let the water flow over my hands, my eyes wide as his words sunk in.

"I want you to meet my parents, Clare," he breathed.

My heart skipped a beat and I turned off the water, giving him my full attention. "Eli...are you...really?"

"Yeah, I talked to my parents about it earlier today. This was kind of another reason why I wanted to meet your parents," he explained, grabbing a dry towel for me.

"I'll go ask my parents," I smiled, grabbing the towel and drying my hands. He smiled back, and I really wanted to kiss him...

"Okay, I'll wait for you outside," he replied, walking past me and saying good-bye to my parents who were currently sitting at the dining table.

I walked over and waited for them to say good-bye, before walking him out. Before I closed the door, he winked at me slyly, and I couldn't help but blush. I closed the front door and spun on my heels to confront my parents. When I reached the table, they stopped talking and looked up at me curiously.

"Mom, dad...so...I was wondering if I could go out with Eli for a few hours?" I asked hesitantly.

"This doesn't change anything, Clare," my mother cut in, crossing her arms and staring fiercly.

My jaw dropped. "What? Why?" I asked in disbelief.

"Okay, well we'll admit that he is DEFINITELY nothing like the magazines say he is," she started.

"Of course, mom! You were the one that always told me to never trust TV ads and magazines, now you're basing him on gossip-obsessed magazines?" I replied, frustrated.

My mother huffed and rubbed her eyes with her hand. My dad cleared his throat and leaned back on the chair.

"What your mother wants to say is that we still don't know anything about him and-"

"Well I do! I know him very well and he is the most amazing person I have ever met, and I think it's unfair that you're judging because of that. If you're going to make an excuse as to why I can't go out with him, then blame my 'irresponsibility' and not your insipid judgments. Were you not in the same room I was just in? He's the perfect gentleman!" I argued, crossing my arms angrily.

The room fell silent, and I knew they were cracking. I knew my parents well enough now to know that they were feeling a bit guilty and knew that they had no choice now. My parents looked at each other for a few seconds, having a silent conversation, before looking back at me.

"Okay, just be back by 11:00 Clare. The only reason we're letting you out is because he's waiting outside and because he hasn't given us a reason to doubt him. Just...be careful," she said in defeat.

I had a feeling she wanted to say something else, but I merely smiled and ran to get my purse upstairs. I checked my hair in the mirror and sighed in satisfaction. I had to make sure I looked presentable enough. I mean, I was actually going to meet Eli's _parents._ I tried not to think about how nervous I was starting to get and ran down the stairs, said a quick good-bye to my parents before they changed their minds, and walked out the door. I clutched my jacket closer to my body as I walked down the steps and found Eli sitting on the hood of Morty, his legs swinging and his fingers drumming on his thighs. He looked up when he heard my foot steps and smiled so wide, I almost lost my balance. He had to stop being so damn attractive! He jumped off the hood of the car and moved to the passenger side of the hearse to open it for me. I smiled and climbed in, putting on my seatbelt as I waited for Eli to climb in next to me. He turned on the ignition, blasted his rock music, and backed out of the driveway.

"How did it go?" Eli asked, shifting the stick and driving down the street.

Was it weird that I got a little hot watching him work the stick of the car?

"Uh...my parents took it well. My mom was still a little hesitant about it, but I gave her the guilt trip and it actually worked," I said smugly, turning to the window.

"Letting your secret boyfriend have dinner with your parents, defend my honor, and use your devilish tricks into submission? Big night," Eli chuckled, his eyes widening in exaggeration.

I laughed and shook my head lightly, listening to the intense guitar solo in the song and smiling when I saw Eli's fingers move to the beat on the steering wheel.

"So Clare, what do you think about...what I said about New York?" he asked.

"You're going to be in New York to record for Christmas, yeah?" I confirmed.

He nodded. "Yeah, and I was wondering...if you would like to come with me so that we could record, and I could finally take you out for that vacation we've been wanting to take," he said. "Drew is asking Alli, too. He's actually facing her parents right now."

"Oh no, Alli's parents? I wonder how THAT'S going..." I winced playfully. "Yeah, but about the trip...I would really like that. I just don't know if my parents would let me go with you on a trip, unsupervised," I said glumly.

"Well, we'll find a way, now won't we?" he smirked.

Suddenly, Eli slowed to a stop and parked in front of a small, colonial house that was decorated lightly with Christmas lights and wreaths. My stomach did a back flip and I suddenly wanted to turn back. I looked back at Eli, who was smiling with amusement.

"Nervous?" he asked.

"Uh..a little," I admit, biting my lip.

He shook his head lightly and leaned down to kiss my lips softly and lick my bottom lip.

"Don't be, my parents are going to love you," he said, leaning away and turning off the engine.

The both of us opened the doors at the same time and stepped out. My heart started to pound as Eli came to my side and put out his arm for me, smirking. I blushed and brought my hands to wrap around his bicep nervously, letting him lead me to the lit up porch. He took out his keys and unlocked the door softly, before turning to look at me.

"I just want to warn you, my parents tend to be a little...blunt," Eli said sheepishly, nervously.

"I think I can handle that," I smiled in encouragement, wanting him to feel comfortable letting me in.

Then, he opened the door, and the warmth filled me.

**oooooooooo**

"So Clare, honey, would you say that Eli performs off-stage as well as he does on-stage, if you know what I mean?" Eli's mom, CeCe, asked with amusement in her voice.

_Oh dear god..._

"Mom! I thought we discussed this earlier..." Eli warned, taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

I blushed when CeCe and Eli's dad, Bullfrog, laughed at my shy responses as they continued to tease Eli. Because we had already eaten at my house, Eli's parents were kind enough to make us some hot chocolate with small marshmallows inside that were so delicious. His parents were extremely excited to meet me because apparently Eli had talked about me a lot within the past few weeks. His parents were completely different from mine; my parents were a little reserved, but still held a conversation and were genuinely interested in the other person. However, when I talked with Eli's parents as we sat in their living room, I felt warm. They were one of the kindest, most interesting people I have ever met. Especially CeCe, I got along with her right away and the entire aura around them was very home-y. I loved watching the interaction between parent and son; his parents were like best friends than guardians and it was a nice change.

"Oh! Clare, I just have to show you Eli's baby pictures. He was the cutest baby I have ever seen!" CeCe gushed, getting up from the couch and running to a cabinet filled with albums.

"Really, mom? Really? You're going to be that kind of mom right now?" Eli groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

I giggled and put my hot chocolate down. "Aw come on, I want to see your baby pictures, Eli," I cooed.

He looked up from his face and glared playfully. I stuck out my tongue and giggled as CeCe came back with a fat album and sat net to me on the couch, opening it up. The first page was a picture of CeCe and Bullfrog in a colorful looking van with baby Eli wrapped in a blue blanket in their arms. The top caption said, _'July 29, 1991: Baby Elijah Goldsworthy was born on the way to the lollapalooza. It's good luck, he's gonna be a star one day.'_

"Aww!" I exclaimed, looking at Eli with puppy eyes. Eli rolled his eyes and went to snatch the book.

"Oh come on, Eli! This is the first time you ever bring a girl home, I want to show her your beautiful pictures," CeCe begged playfully.

Eli grabbed my hand and lifted me up so we were standing in the living room.

"I think I've had enough embarrassment for one night. Can we be excused?" Eli asked, smirking.

CeCe and Bullfrog looked at each other and smiled knowingly. "Mm, young love!" CeCe gushed, as Bullfrog waved his hand to let us go.

Eli immediately pulled on my hand, picked up my purse from the couch, and led me up the stairs of his green house. I smiled, taking in all of the pictures hanging on the wall. There was picture of CeCe and Bullfrog when they were younger, and when they got married. Then I would see pictures of young Eli hanging from the monkey bars in a playground and I couldn't help but squeal to myself, thinking of how many girls would kill to be in my place right now. Finally, we stopped at a black door with a huge skull in the middle. Eli squeezed my hand and smirked when I lifted my eyebrow teasingly. Eli reached for the door knob, twisted it, and opened the door. He led me inside and turned on the lights.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Eli said, closing the door to his room lightly.

It was somewhat like I imagined; there was a lot of band posters on the wall, nearly covering the entire thing, he had a window facing the street with a desk and old computer parallel to it, a closet with very little clothes in it, suitcases, a lot of CD's and junk on the floor, and a double bed. With black Batman sheets.

"Batman sheets?" I giggled.

"Hey! I bought those sheets when I was twelve, okay? Batman is the shizz, so don't discriminate. This is only my temporary room, seeing as how I'm not usually here, so I don't really bother to change it," he explained, scratching the back of his head and dropping the bag on the bed. "Hey, I'm gonna go to the restroom really fast. Seriously, my house is your house, okay?"

I nodded my head and smiled as he went out the door. I looked around the room and noticed that his computer was on. I bit my lip and tilted my head in curiosity. I knew it was bad to check...but I was curious to see what he did on his free time. I moved to his desk and sat down, looking at the tabs that were open. One of them was an article on the political issues in Germany, which made me smile, but ignore. The next was his IM page, which was online. I smiled, he only had his band members, myself, and a few other people that I didn't recognize, but it was small. The other tab was his own account, the Elijah Goldsworth, open to the public. I wondered what everyone said about him...I was about to click when I heard Eli open the door. I quickly turned around, my eyes wide as he stared in confusion.

"What's up?" Eli asked, closing the door and coming to look over my shoulder.

"I was just curious to see what you do on your free time..." I replied softly, scared he would get mad.

He laughed. "I'm not really interesting on my free time. I was actually going through some fan messages before I picked you up on my account," he stated.

"Can I see?" I asked.

He grabbed a chair and came to sit next to me, clicking on the public account I had just been on and opening up all the fan messages he got. My eyes widened at the huge number of people following his statuses and the amount of messages he got. There was a lot of dirty mentionings of him, which made me slightly mad, and there was also some sweet ones and adoring ones. The dirty ones were making me mad, though.

"What do you do when girls send you all of these messages saying they wanna do things to you?" I asked in disbelief, reading one in particular.

"Eh, I don't answer those. Sometimes I play around with them and stuff, but I try not to be associated with that," he joked, smiling at some of the comments that girls put.

"Wow, you're actually going to respond to that?" I asked in disbelief as he hit the respond button on one of the flirtatious comments.

Eli didn't respond to me, smiling slyly as he typed out a response. I huffed and stood up from my chair, not wanting to read anymore. Eli continued typing to the girls, and I was suddenly very angry that he didn't even pay attention to me. I turned my back to him and crossed my arms, the jealousy and rage starting to take over. I suddenly realized that I had forgotten just how popular Elijah Goldsworthy was to the entire world, and not just my school. There was probably billions of beautiful girls flirting and sending cute messages to him, and he probably responded to a lot of them behind my back. I am not the jealous type, nor am I possessive of this. He can do whatever he wants, but for some reason this was making me so angry.

I turned back around to see him, and he had completely ignored my presence by then! Now he was chuckling at some of the messages and responding to more of them. It started off as a simple little thing, a playful joke. Then I stood up and wondered what he would do, if he would ask me what was wrong. My little game of hard-to-get had completely backfired and now I was paying the price for it. Now, I was just too angry to even want to talk to him right now. I grabbed my purse and slung it over my shoulder sharply, trying to get his attention.

"Okay, I'm gonna go home now..." I hinted, watching his fingers type.

"Oh okay, is it 11 already...?" he trailed off, not turning around.

I inhaled sharply. "Don't worry, I can walk home, Eli. I wouldn't want to keep you from your fan girls," I said, venomous sarcasm in my voice.

"...hold on, hold on...what?" he asked, dazed.

Hot tears stung my eyes and I clenched my fists, immediately turning around. I opened the door and didn't even bother closing it, running down the stairs and running into CeCe and Bullfrog cuddled together watching a movie on TV.

"Oh, Clare, leaving so soon?" Bullfrog asked, turning his head.

"Yeah, I need to get home now. You know, school night," I said, putting on my best smile.

"Isn't Eli gonna take you home? Where is he?" CeCe asked, standing up and nudging towards the stairs.

I bit my lip to keep from crying. "It's okay, I want to walk home. It's nice outside. It was really nice to meet you, thank you for letting me into your lovely home," I said softly.

CeCe smiled and came to hug me tightly. I felt some of my tension wash away and I hugged her back, the tears starting to sting my eyes again.

"You are welcome in our house anytime, baby. You have made my Eli so happy; I am grateful that he found you," she whispered into my ear, rubbing my back sweetly.

She let me go and smiled motherly at me, Bullfrog coming to stand behind her and rub her shoulders and smiling with equal love in his eyes.

"Clare?" I heard Eli's faint call from upstairs.

"Well, I'll just be going now. Thank you so much," I smiled before turning and walking through the front door quickly.

The night air stung with its icy breeze, but I didn't care. I let the angry tears run down my cheeks as I walked down the empty sidewalk in the dark. I didn't look back, nor did I answer the vibration that signaled a call from Eli. I simply kept on walking the short walk to my house, so fed up with feeling like I could never keep up with Eli and his fame.

**oooooooooo**

"Clare, will you tell me what the hell is going on between you and Eli? Drew has been begging me constantly to ask you to talk to him," Alli pleaded as she walked me to my last class.

I frowned and clutched my books closer to my chest. Today was the last day of school, and I hadn't talked to Eli in a week. I had completely ignored all of his advances, even if he begged me to talk to him.

"I already told you what happened, Alli, and I'm tired of trying to keep up with him and his stupid fan girls and I don't want to talk to him right now. This week is stressful and I don't need him and his overly-cocky comments to top it off," I spat angrily.

"...Did you break up with him, Clare?" she asked quietly.

We stopped in front of my last class, Advanced English, and looked at her pleading eyes, sighing.

"No...no I didn't break up with him," I replied.

"Because apparently Eli is pretty angry that you just decided to walk off and remove his name from the face of the earth. At least, that's what Drew told me," she said, warningly.

"Yeah, so I've heard," I said starkly.

"Yeah, Drew said he was practically fuming and has been for days," Alli confirmed. "You know that they're here today, right? The whole band is here for the day."

"I wouldn't know, I haven't talked to Eli. He better not show up at my house again," I grumbled.

The bell rang and I was about to enter the classroom when Alli gripped my wrist.

"Clare, didn't you hear me? He's pissed, at you! Aren't you scared for your relationship, for you?" she asked desperately.

"No, I really don't," I said nonchalantly and walked into my classroom.

The class period went by slowly as we listened to students present their final paper, and all I could think of was Eli angry at me. Honestly, I was a little scared of how this was going to turn out, but my pride wouldn't let me go crawling back to him. It was all my fault, I took things out of proportion, but everything was just getting to me by that point. School was finally calming down, with work and interrogations, and my parents had definitely lightened up to the thought of Eli being close to me. Maybe not boyfriend to them yet, but definitely getting there. Now I didn't know if we were going to be able to get to that point because he was angry with me. He had definitely been trying to get a hold of me, at first in confusion, then in sadness, and then he started to get a little frustrated.

The last few messages in my text inbox from him were from yesterday:

_Clare, stop being such a baby and confront me about the problem already.  
-Eli_

_God, are you always this infuriating? Just answer me already!  
-Eli_

_You know what? I don't care. If you want to act like an immature, self-centered girl, it's your problem. Thanks for wasting my time.  
-Eli_

The last one had stung, a lot. I had cried a lot yesterday because I was losing him and I was so angry that I couldn't bring myself to submit to him! I didn't want to be weak, I didn't want to admit that I had been child-ish by taking such a silly little thing as jealousy into such an extent. Now, I wasn't even sure if I could be able to save this relationship anymore. By the time it was my turn to read my essay out loud, all of my passion and anger was raw in my voice and Mrs. Dawes had given me an A plus and a golden star. Too bad I was too angry with myself to even celebrate the fact.

The last bell rang, and everyone ran out of the classrooms in a hurry. I, however, stayed after to ask Mrs. Dawes a few questions about next semester and the classes that I could take with her. By the time I got out of the classroom, mostly everyone was gone. I put my books in my locker in the empty hallway, sighing and wondering what I was going to do with this whole situation.

Then, when I turned around, I gasped and felt my heart nearly jump out of my chest. Eli was standing right in front of me, wearing the most dark and sinister expression I had ever seen. He was so beautiful, and I hated him for it! He was breathing heavily, staring at me like I was the most hated thing in the whole world.

"Eli, what-"

"I don't want to play games with you, Clare. Not today," Eli ground out sharply, making me freeze.

"Oh, so _now _you give a shit about me. Okay! I'll humor you. Why are you here?" I asked sarcastically, letting the anger loose.

Eli's dark eyes narrowed sinisterly. "You know why the fuck I'm here, Clare. Tell me what happened last week, now."

I looked around the empty hallway and then turned back to him. "I don't want to do this with you, Eli. We're in school and in the middle of a-"

He gripped my wrist, roughly, and dragged me to the end of the hallway quickly. He kicked open a black door at the end of the hallway and pulled me inside harshly, closing the door and pushing me further into the room. I huffed angrily and removed myself from his reach and walked further into the room. I walked through another set of doors and saw that we were in the theater now. There were music stands scattered around the lit up stage and a closed piano in the center. I continued to walk, but was stopped when Eli reached for my shoulder and swung me around.

"Why are you doing this, Clare? Just tell me what happened and we can go on with our lives," Eli growled darkly.

"Oh, so you can go and flirt mercilessly with all of those sluts that throw themselves at you? Sure, let's just get innocent little Clare out of the way," I spat back.

His eyes widened and his body became tense. I thought I had struck a nerve, but then his nostrils flared and his lips pressed into a thin line with his eyes glinting dangerously.

"That's what this is about? The girls on my internet account?" Eli asked in disbelief.

I rolled my eyes and scoffed in exasperation.

"I don't care, Eli! I just can't stand having to stay in your shadow all the time," I said, waving my hands around.

He laughed coldly. "You are such a _bitch_!"

I scoffed and stared at him in disbelief, not believing that he just called me that.

"Did you just call me a bitch?" I exclaimed angrily.

"You had me suffering for a whole week thinking that I did something wrong, that I hurt you. After all that, I come to find that you got jealous over some girl who is just another grain of sand in the desert! You're always trying to manipulate and control everything around you, including those stupid girls who could never have me. Yes, I'm calling you a bitch," he said sharply, taking a step towards me, his posture stiff and menacing.

I raised my eyebrow in challenge and took another step towards him, our bodies still a few steps away.

"At least I'm not a man-whore who thinks he can get whatever he wants. You're always so cocky and full of shit and you think you know better than everyone else when you are absolutely nothing. If you didn't have your fame to hide behind, you'd just be an annoying, sarcastic little boy with nothing but your dry humor and stupid black nail-polish!" I spat out, venom in my voice.

We glared at each other, our bodies close now and our heavy breathing being the only sound in the room. The tension was thick, emotions were running high, my body was shaking.

"So, that's it then," Eli said, his jaw clenching angrily.

"Yeah, I guess that's it," I agreed, my breathing hard.

An icy blue glare.

A deep snarl.

Then, all hell broke loose.

He shot his hand up to my hair and crashed his lips onto mine harshly, kissing me angrily. I moaned into his mouth and immediately raked my hands down his back, letting his tongue dominate my mouth roughly. He brought his other hand behind me and and groped my ass, moving us backwards in haste. The sound of falling metal and chairs was sound as he gripped my hair tighter and grunted harshly into my open mouth.

"I hate you," he breathed huskily against my bruised lips, crashing me against the edge of the piano and lifting my thigh over his hips. Eli's words sent a wave of pleasure so strong, it sent a shiver down my spine all the way to my toes. The thought of being a slave to Eli's rage and passion making me anxious.

"I hate you more," I breathed back, grunting as he pushed me further into the curve of the piano.

I removed my lips from his and kissed his jaw line hotly, licking and sucking roughly when he clenched his sharp jaw line. We were grunting, panting, and moaning as I reached his neck, sucking harshly and bringing my hands to the front of his shirt. The angry passion inside of me twisted and grew as he ran his hands all over my body hotly, and I tore the front of his shirt roughly, breaking the seams and popping off the buttons. He quickly discarded the shirt as I kissed down the length of his neck, letting out my frustration by sucking where his shoulder met his neck, leaving a mark.

He groaned out loudly, deeply, and lifted my head to kiss my lips again. I removed my lips, panting harshly, and brought my hands down to his belt. Once I removed his belt, I unbuttoned his pants and slid the zipper down as he watched with dark eyes. I looked up at him, our breathing in sync, before I shoved my hand in to grip the length of him, hard.

Eli's eyes rolled back and grunted as I moved my hand slowly, achingly slow. He threw his head back and bucked into my hand, clenching his jaw and grunting through his teeth as I moved faster. I brought my head down and licked his chest as I moved my hand at an erratic pace now. His hands slapped down against the piano, hard, as another moan ripped from him. His breathing was loud and heavy in the silence of the theater, making me moan in anticipation. I was aching now, and there was nothing that could stop the angry tornado inside of us. Suddenly, he gripped my wrist tightly and removed my hand from his pants, groaning at the loss. I moaned when he cupped the back of my thighs and lifted me up to sit on the piano, making me squeeze my legs around his waist to bring him closer.

Eli took in a deep breath and roughly pulled the shirt from my body and over my head with a hiss. "I hate that you make me feel this way," he breathed passionately, before he shoved his tongue back into my mouth. I whimpered and my body shook as his hands ripped the clasp of my bra impatiently and threw it aside, running his hands over my naked torso. I threw my head back when his hands groped my breasts impatiently, bringing his hot lips to the tip of one of them. I hitched my legs higher on his waist and roughly gripped his hair in my hands to bring him closer. His tongue circled my nipple rapidly while he arched my body into his mouth, making me gasp and lose myself in the heat. He licked his way down and sucked hard on the skin of my stomach, making my muscles contract deliciously and moan at the feel of his anger.

"I hate that you make me lose control like this," I moaned breathlessly.

He suddenly removed himself from my breasts and yanked down my skirt. I arched my hips off the piano and allowed him to remove my skirt and my underwear, while I pulled down his pants and boxers. When he finally came back to me, he brought his hands to my back and pulled me towards him sharply, making the two of us gasp. His dark eyes stared into mine, dangerously.

"I am going to fuck you, _hard_," he grit out, bucking his hips into my wet core, making me moan.

"Do it, Eli," I panted, not in control of my body anymore.

He crashed his lips onto mine quickly, before pushing me down and laying me out on the surface of the smooth piano. The dual sensation of cool wood and hot air above me made me sigh and moan. He gripped my hips roughly and entered me in one strong, deep thrust. A simultaneous groan filled the room as he slammed into my heat at an uncontrolled pace. We didn't bother starting off slow, we were ready before we came into the room.

Skin and sweat meshed together frantically as the friction between our bodies increased, our moans and grunts ripping from our throats as the frustration inside of us melted away. He plunged into me harder with a loud grunt and my eyes rolled to the back of my head in pleasure.

"Eli! Don't stop, don't stop," I ground out as I rotated my hips to encourage him to go faster.

"I don't plan on stopping. Never," he grunted roughly, his fingers squeezing my hips hard, pain and pleasure mixing to create the perfect vent for all of the emotions coursing through my body.

My lungs burned, and my legs shook as I tried to get closer, lifting myself up from the piano and clinging to him. He buried his face in my hair as he picked up his pace, speeding up and slowing down, rotating and circulating his hips. I moaned out loud as he pushed me further and further to the edge, my hands slapping down his back and raking my nails into his skin as the pleasure burned through me. He groaned at the sensation and moved his hands to my back, bringing me in tighter.

"How do you like me now, huh?" Eli growled out, bringing his head back to look into my eyes.

His mouth was set in a wicked smirk, his eyes almost black, and his body moving over me with power and dominance.

I desperately bit my lip as his lips parted and let out harsh pants as he continued to thrust with vigor. Our ragged breathing filled the room and the intense friction started to make the piano shake under us, squeaking as my body moved with his thrusts.

"Come on, lose control Clare," he groaned out, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

My body was flushed and my heart was pounding loudly in my ear. I moved my lips to his ear, panting, "Make me."

Eli growled wildly, before angling his hips and assaulting my body with impressive strength. I moaned loudly as the new angle hit a spot inside of me, making my toes curl. I let myself fall against the piano again, slamming my hands on the surface to brace myself. The heat was flaming violently through me, overwhelming my senses.

"Oh god..."

"Scream for me, come on," he coaxed huskily.

I cried out as mind clouded over and my chest began to heave. His thrusts slowed down, and I arched my back and mewled in displeasure.

"You're going to have to be louder than that," he growled possessively.

"GOD DAMMIT, ELI!" I yelled, rotating my hips against his.

He grinned and undulated his hips at a frenzied pace, making us cry out in pleasure. We pulled, scratched, and clawed each other as hard as we could as the anger and frustration peaked. Then, he brought one hand between my legs and rolled his thumb over my bundle of nerves and everything collapsed. I cried out his name violently, shudders rolling throughout my body and my orgasm momentarily blinding me.

"CLARE!" Eli cried out roughly, his neck extended and his muscles shaking as he exploded within me. As we rode out the waves of our orgasm, he collapsed on top of me, the piano squeaking with our weight. We gasped for breath, clutching onto each other desperatley, nothing but our heavy breaths and moans of rapture filling the theater.

"God, I love you," Eli breathed, lifting his head to look at me.

I smiled and moved his bangs from his face.

"I'm sorry about the bruises..." I apologized, eyeing the deep red marks on his shoulder and chest, red lines from my nails all over his skin.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he inspected my sensitive body filled with marks.

"I loved every second of it," I breathed.

"Good, because I'm not sorry," he grinned, kissing my lips lusciously. "You should get angry over stupid things more often."

"...stupid things?"

**oooooooooo**

After the very enjoyable...make-up, Eli and I snuck out of school undetected and grew back to our witty banter and flirtatious conversations. I was home now, and I had asked my parents about the one thing I wanted for Christmas:

I wanted to go to New York with Eli.

My parents were in the living room, and I could over hear them talking. My mother was against it, completely. My dad was actually arguing to get me to go, but my mother just wouldn't change her mind. I grew sad of hearing, so I just went up to my room and sulked a little bit. Going on this vacation with Eli was the perfect way to finally strengthen our relationship and just get away from everything. After a few minutes, my dad knocked on my door.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure dad," I replied.

He came into the room and sat on the bed with me, sighing.

"So, you really want to go on this trip with Eli?" he asked.

I bit my lip and nodded my head. "I want to be there for him, and I just...I don't know, I-..." I trailed off, my heart filling with hope, love, and happiness.

We turned to look at each other, and he smiled wide for the first time in a long time. I bit my lip and smiled, turning my gaze away in embarrassment.

"You really love him, don't you, Clare-bear?" my dad whispered, his eyes warm.

I blushed and nodded my head, turning to look at him. "I really do," I confessed, my heart pounding in my chest.

He took my hand in his and caressed it lovingly, looking into my eyes. "I have only ever wanted someone that would be worthy of your affection, someone that could give you the world and more; but more than anything, the man who was lucky enough to hold the treasure in their hands must make you absolutely, undoubtedly happy. You are my little girl, and I love you more than anything in this world," he said softly, his eyes flashing with emotions.

I teared up and felt goose bumps spread through my body at my father's words.

"Go to him, Clare," he whispered.

My eyes widened.

"Forget about your mother, I'll deal with her later. Go to him, Clare-bear," he smiled, his eyes shining with so much love.

* * *

SO? What'd you think? Don't be too harsh if you didn't like it...I tried really hard on it! Next chapter, is the BIG BANG chapter. Who's excited?

**WAZAM**


	14. Cold

BIG BANG CHAPTER! Okay, I am not sure how you guys will take the chapter, but this is the climax of the story. It may not be dramatic to some people, and it might not be what everyone expected, but I don't care. I know that somewhere out there, there will be at least one person who will appreciate the small little twist I added in there. I actually based a lot of my story on this chapter, where everything starts to fall together, so I was actually very excited to write this one!

OH, and I do want to address something. As my fan base continues to grow, so does the number of haters and critics. Honestly, it's fine. It is so sweet that some of you defend my story and start an argument, but I can't expect for all of my comments to be positive. One thing that I really do have to say, however, is that a lot of my critics aren't being rational. I appreciate constructive critisism because I know that I am not perfect and my grammar and/or writing style can be improved, but what I DON'T appreciate is being told that I am being unrealistic. If you're trying to be cool and hate on me because you want to be different, please stop. I put my heart and soul into my writing and it really hurts when the reasons you decide to tell me, and others for that matter, how stupid I am. If you're reading this, you know who you are. So I just want to clear something out to those who are reading this and need clarification:

1. Do you know what website you're in? It's called fan_FICTION; _as in, it's not real? Yeah. Just in case you forgot the memo. So what if this would never happen, that's what fiction is all about. My life is completely structured and I want to write about fantasies because they're a nice outlet, and some people actually like reading romances like these. If you don't like the idea of a fictional story, what are you doing here? Why not just stick to the Degrassi on television and not bring me down saying that my ideas are stupid.

2. This fiction is rated M. Simple, easy to understand. If you don't like the rating, you don't have to read it. I even put up warnings in the beginning of chapters so that you'll be prepared, so I don't understand what the problem is. Yes, I realize that my mature scenes are unrealistic and probably more amazing than real life, but how is that a bad thing? I'm sorry if you don't like it, just don't read it if you don't want to.

On a brighter note, I broke my reviews per chapter with _'Aftermath' _thanks to 90+ amazing reviewers! Thank you so much, I honestly can't tell you how much I enjoy reading your reviews. Seriously, I find myself laughing at some of them because I can't believe that you guys like this story so much! As well as all of my Twitter followers, you guys are seriously the best! If I could, I would give you all some apple cheescake! I would love to continue breaking records, if you don't mind!

**WARNING! Small lime included. So I won't get banned for using lyrics, listen to "If It Means a Lot To You" by a Day To Remember when the recording scene comes out. Please excuse any incorrect information about New York City, for I have only been there once in my life and do not claim to be an expert.**

**Disclaimer:** I own a collection of Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 14._

_Ding dong!_

I waited outside of Eli's door in the middle of the night, bags in my hand, hoping that he would still be home. My dad had let me go to New York with Eli and told me to waste no time, because if not my mom would find out and forbid me to go. I was absolutely grateful for my dad, and I really hoped it would be worth it.

The door swung open, and Eli appeared wearing thick-rimmed glasses, black sweat pants, and an old Proxemics t-shirt. He looked so casual, it was rare to see him this way and I was glad that I was one of the few that could.

"What are you doing here, blue eyes?" he asked playfully, stepping out and closing the door in back of him.

"I can go to New York with you," I smiled, excitement bubbling in my stomach.

His eyes widened, before a wide grin appeared on his features. He enveloped me in his arms and lifted me up, causing me to squeal and drop my bags. I held onto his neck as he laughed and twirled me around in his arms. I loved these moments with him, they were pure, simple, adoring. He gently put me down on my feet again and feathered my shoulder blade with kisses.

"Now I can finally have you all to myself and spoil you to my heart's content," Eli smirked against my shoulder.

"One step at a time, Eli," I murmured into his hair, running my hands through his silky locks.

Eli lifted his head and tightened his arms around me. "Who should I be thanking? Mama Edwards or Papa Edwards?"

"Papa Edwards. He wants me to be happy," I smiled, leaning up to kiss him chastely on the lips.

"Hmm, remind me to thank him later," he breathed hotly, capturing my lips in a smooth kiss.

I was cold and I couldn't feel my fingers wrapped around his hair, but I didn't care. His kisses were searing, beautiful, and I was happy. Our little moment was ruined when I suddenly heard the door open. We both pulled away from each other and found Drew standing in the doorway, a drumstick in his hand and his mouth full of chicken. My eyes narrowed in confusion and Eli stared at him as if he was the biggest idiot he had ever seen.

"Oy! Alli, Clare is here!" Drew called out, completely ignoring the fact that he ruined a moment.

"Alli is here?" I asked, giving Eli and I some distance even though his arms around my waist did not lose their grip.

Before Eli could answer, a pair of rapid, heel-clad footsteps were heard until I saw Alli in the doorway next to Drew with a huge smile on her face. She looked down at my bags on the floor, and then at me. We stared, before she squealed and ran to hug me. She removed me from Eli's arms, much to his displeasure, and hugged me tightly.

"Your parents let you come to New York!" Alli exclaimed.

"My dad is covering for me. Wait, how did your parents actually let you go? I mean, your parents are completely-"

"I know! I mean, in reality, they don't know that I'm going..." she smiled sheepishly. "We had an argument and I was just angry. I mean, I'm 18 and I can do what I want! Even Drew came to my house, bless his soul, and was practically eaten alive by my parents! It's okay though, because he helped me pack my bags and sneak them to his car so that I could be here with everyone. We were just waiting on you and Eli to see what was going on," she explained. "And now that you're here, we can leave early tomorrow for New York and have the vacation of a life-time!"

"Wait, so everyone is sleeping over here?" I asked.

"Yeah, everyone is crashing in Eli's living room since Alli can't really go home until after New York and my mom is pretty strict even with our liberal lifestyle," Drew explained casually, waving the drumstick around. "So yeah, we all set up blankets and pillows in the living room. We even made room for one more, just in case you came."

I was about to open my mouth when Eli interrupted me.

"Don't even think about it, you're sleeping in my room with me," Eli stated confidently.

I blushed.

Alli winked.

Drew bit his drumstick.

Eli grumbled at our distance.

This really was a weird site to behold.

Nevertheless, we went inside the Goldsworthy household and planned out the transportation. Fitz was here, too, but he didn't even look at me. He was talking with Adam, laughing about something. He was acting strange, but I thought nothing of it. Eventually, Eli led me up to his room and helped me get comfortable. We lay in the darkness of his room, his arm around my waist securely as we whispered and laughed quietly for what seemed like hours. There was no seducing, no inappropriate touching, and no explosion of skin and sweat. There was, however, a sweet murmur of words, loving nuzzles, and intoxicating embraces as Eli and I fell asleep under his Batman sheets.

**oooooooooo**

We were now on the Proxemics jet on our way to New York, talking business. The boys of the band were with JJ in one of the many conference rooms of the jet talking about the album itself and what was going to happen. So Alli and I caught up with each other in the front of the jet on one of the couches, shooting information back and forth about what happened since we last saw each other. We had been pretty distant ever since our parents grounded us, but we were both glad that this opportunity came up and we could be close again. She told me that she and Drew were getting pretty serious, just like Eli and I were.

Before we could really talk much more about relationships, the boys walked out of the room and made their way towards us. Fitz went to the very back and turned on his music, Adam turned on his laptop, and Drew and Eli came to sit with us.

"Are you excited, ladies?" JJ asked as he passed us.

"Definitely," we replied.

"Good, it's going to be amazing. Clare, baby, Eli will tell you all the details on recording sessions. It's gonna be great," he grinned before walking into the captain's room.

Drew led Alli to one of the big screens on the other side of the jet to show her some videos while Eli rested his head back and closed his eyes. I poked him in the arm before crossing my legs and patting them, just like he had done before. He looked down and smiled, slowly leaning down so he stretched his long body on the couch and rested his head on my lap, facing up. He sighed and smiled at me.

"So tell me, what are we going to do in New York, big shot?" I asked, running my fingers through his bangs as he stared up at me.

Eli closed his eyes and hummed in content as I played with his hair. "Well, first we have to finish our song and then record it. The due date for this album is actually the 23rd so that the first set of albums can be released on the 24th, so we have roughly about two weeks to finish. Also, I was wondering if you'd be my date; we're actually going to have a Christmas/Release party and there's also a birthday party that we should attend, only because Adam wants to," Eli said, to himself mostly.

"Who's birthday?" I asked, his little rant making me giggle.

"Fiona Coyne," Eli smirked, opening his eyes to look at me. I rose my eyebrows in surprise.

"You want me to be your date to a VIP, celeb-only party and for the Proxemics' event of the year? I'm kind of not prepared for that, wardrobe-wise," I explained nervously.

Eli tilted his head to the side so my fingers could rake through the side of his hair as he chuckled in amusement. "Which is why I am going to take you shopping for the occasion when we arrive," he said.

"You? Come with me to go shopping?" I asked in disbelief, smiling as he melted under my soft fingers.

He looked away from me then. "Yes, because now that you're associated with the band, you're going to have to play the part," he said almost inaudibly.

Play the part? He sat up slowly as the captain said on the PA that were were minutes away from landing in New York and needed to get our seatbelts on. Eli reached into the pockets of his leather jacket and took out his rings, slipping them on carefully as I looked out the window to the beautiful city as we started to descend, trying to decipher his words.

"Clare, you know that I love you, right?" he asked suddenly.

"Of course, Eli," I responded hesitantly, jumping slightly when the jolt of the jet hitting the ground smoothly scared me.

He slipped on the last ring, my purity ring, and took my hand in his gently. "I just want you to know what you're getting yourself into. If you decide to get down with me here, your life will never be the same," he stated seriously.

My eyebrows scrunched together and I stared in confusion, unbuckling my belt. The jet was soon slow again, and we came to a halt as the engines started to die down.

"Do you love me, Clare?" he asked, his molten eyes staring into mine.

"Y-Yes, more than anything," I replied, his intensity scaring me.

He squeezed my hand gently and stood up, taking me with him. "I've loved you since the moment I saw your eyes in the crowd that night in Toronto, and I want nothing but your happiness. I wish I could lie to you and tell you I could give you a normal life, but I can't. The minute you step out of this jet with me, you will no longer be my secret girlfriend; you're going to be Clare Diane Edwards, a rock star's girlfriend. Elijah Goldsworthy's talented, beautiful girlfriend. My girlfriend. You're going to have as much publicity as I have, maybe even more for the time being. You are going to be defined by me, and everything about you is going to become known by every person who knows of Proxemics. I'm giving you one last chance to decide. You can still turn back and keep your past life, but once you step out, there's no turning back," he said, grimly, hesitantly.

My eyes widened as the air-sealed door opened and the sound of cameras shuttering and people murmuring became clear, staring into Eli's hard eyes. I looked away from him and saw as Fitz stood at the doorway, smirking as he walked down the stairs, followed by Adam and JJ. Then, I saw Drew and Alli whisper on the side of the opening, before Alli smiled and nodded. Drew reached for her hand and she stepped into the light, followed by the large roar of the people on the bottom. I watched as she disappeared from my sight, knowing well that she had decided that he was worth it. Was Eli worth it?

"Are you ready for that?" Eli asked quietly.

I looked back out at the opening of the jet and took a deep breath. I intertwined our fingers and looked up at him, determined. He lifted a dark eyebrow.

"All I know is that I love you, and you're worth it," I smiled shyly.

Eli released a breath he was holding and leaned down to kiss me sweetly, lingering. He looked at me one last time, and I nodded. Then he led me to the door and we stepped out into my new life, our new life.

**oooooooooo**

It was official. Everyone knew my name.

It was insane, all of the attention I was getting with Eli. We managed to get away from the paparazzi at the airport and got into the stretch limo that was arranged for us. Alli and I sat next to each other, our hands shaking and our eyes wide with the intensity of the feeling.

"Don't worry, those goose bumps will go away in about fifteen minutes," Adam said playfully as he laughed at our demeanor.

"Yeah, I remember that night our first album came out? Man...it was crazy," Fitz chuckled, looking out the window.

Fitz was being...surprisingly nice even after all of the drama that happened. It was odd, and I knew that something was off about him. I didn't want to ask, though. Maybe I'd ask Eli later. We drove around New York, smiling and laughing with each other and enjoying the company. Then, the tall buildings and insane traffic died down a little bit and suddenly there was vintage town houses and grungy apartments with stairwells in the front. The people changed from business attire and big coats to leather skinnies and edgy boots and shirts. I giggled slightly, this was so typical of them.

The limo stopped in front of a wide, red-brick, abandoned building in the center of the street. We got out of the limo and helped out with the bags in the trunk.

"So guys, where are we going to be staying?" Alli asked, dropping her heavy bags to the side walk.

"We actually rented this house on St. Mark's that has been amplified and transformed into a pent house where we'll be having our Christmas party. It's pretty sick, I've seen the pictures that JJ sent us," Drew exclaimed, opening his phone and clicking through his messages.

"Way to ruin the surprise, Drew!" JJ said sarcastically as he walked the steps of the building.

We all followed behind and ran inside, trying to get into the warmth. When the lights turned on, I was completely shocked. It was a lot bigger than it looked on the inside. The first floor was one big room with ample furniture, modern paintings, and an edgy feel to the entire space. There were red lamps, chains on the walls, and Proxemics props on the walls and adorning the room. There was a large platform in the end of the room that was currently being equipped by some men in black. I looked up and saw the square in the middle of the roof that showed the other three floors of the penthouse, which is where the actual house was, I imagined.

"Oh my god, this is amazing!" Alli exclaimed, looking around in awe.

"We had our own personal designer come and fix this place up. So, we need to go over the agenda," JJ said, pulling out his phone. "Proxemics, make sure all the songs are done like I mentioned. We need to record three more songs on Friday, which is a week from now on the 18th. Fiona Coyne's birthday party is tomorrow in her penthouse, so make sure to be there by 9:00 PM. We also need to work on Clare and Alli's image; who's going to take care of that?"

"I will," Eli spoke up. "On account that I'm familiar with...the style and everything."

"Yeah, what are you not the expert on?" Adam said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Eli narrowed his eyes playfully.

"I'll go too, they could use another opinion besides Eli's dry sense of style," Adam smirked.

"Okay good, take care of that. So I'm gonna go talk to the producers and we'll talk about your release party later. Try not to...get into anymore drama, please?" JJ pleaded, grinning sheepishly as he excused himself and walked out of the penthouse.

A man dressed in black came up to me and took my bags and Alli's from our hands, smiling and taking them up the chrome stairs.

Fitz sighed. "Well, I'm gonna see if I can get a date or something for tomorrow's party. I'm the only loser that hasn't gotten a date," Fitz mumbled grimly, walking away from the group and taking out his phone.

"Oh dude, I can help you with that!" Drew said, running after him.

Alli rolled her eyes and smiled.

"I guess we should go take Alli and Clare to Trash and Vaudeville. What do you think, Eli?" Adam asked.

"I think that's a great idea," Eli grinned.

"Trash and Vaudeville? What's that?" Alli asked, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder.

Adam put his arms around the two of us and grinned. "You'll see."

We went outside of the penthouse and into the cold New York air and walked down the street. People were giving us looks; they probably recognized Adam and Eli but didn't know Alli or I so it tripped them off or something. We walked side-by-side for a few blocks before we finally reached a red building that had a light up sign that read 'Trash and Vaudeville' and had a window with mannequins dressed in rock and goth outfits. Oh wow, were we really going in there?

"Uh, you guys are going to a store? With normal people?" Alli asked as we walked up the steps.

"This store is anything but normal. A lot of rock icons come shopping here. We're really close with Jimmy Webb, the manager, so I'm sure he'd be happy to put together an outfit for your first VIP party and our release party," Adam explained as we entered the store.

The loud metal music filled the long room filled with racks of leather and studded accessories. It smells like brand new leather, and I felt completely out of place as I watched Eli and Adam walk in with their bad-ass attitudes and punk jackets and boots. Alli and I stared at each other in disbelief as we followed the two boys through the store.

"Jimmy!" Eli called out, walking over to a tall blonde guy wearing a bunch of belts and chains who was helping out a girl with some jeans.

Said man and the dark girl turned to the source of the voice and both their eyes widened.

"Elijah Goldsworthy!" Jimmy exclaimed, walking over to him.

Eli grinned as he brought the taller man into a hug, both men patting their backs in a friendly gesture. Adam walked over to them and gave him a "man hug" as well, the three reuniting with each other.

"Look who's on my wall, Mr. Goldsworthy!" Jimmy pointed to a wall.

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped when I saw the rather large picture of Eli during a concert with his upper body arched insanely as he screamed into the microphone in his hand, red lights framing his gorgeous body. His eyes were closed shut and his legs were wide so that he could bend backwards dramatically, and I instantly grew hot. The only time I had seen Eli in concert was when his back was hurt, and now I _really _wanted to see him full-on. Alli let out a breath and swooned next to me. I poked her arm in warning and we both giggled.

"Aww that's sick! Where'd you get that?" Eli admired, going over to the wall covered with pictures of other big artists.

"I got one of my people to take a picture so I could put it up on my wall. You're becoming an idol, my friend, I think you deserved a picture in the wall. So what brings you big guys to New York?" Jimmy asked, patting Adam's back as the two admired the picture.

"We're actually finishing recording our latest album. It's going to be out by Christmas. We're having a release party at our penthouse, which you're invited to," Eli grinned.

Jimmy closed his eyes and put his tattooed hand over his heart in appreciation. "I will gladly celebrate. Do you boys need an ensemble for it then? I've got a new brand of leather that just came in..." he started, looking around the store.

"Not for us, Jimmy. We're actually gonna need your help to dress up the newest members of our family," Adam grinned, turning his head towards us.

I blushed as Jimmy looked over at us, probably eyeing our colorful attire, and smiled. "And who are these pretty ladies?" he asked, walking over to us.

Eli walked over to me and put his arm around my shoulders, tucking me to his side. "Meet Clare, my girlfriend. She's going to be recording a song with me for the album next week," Eli said, the pride in his voice making my heart flutter.

"Adam, this is your girlfriend?" Jimmy asked, smiling at Alli.

"No way, I have my sights elsewhere. This is Drew's girlfriend, Alli," Adam smiled, putting his arm around her either way. "But she's not your main problem; Drew said he already got Alli a dress and she just needs accessories. It's our little Miss Clare-bear that needs your expert skills," he nodded.

"Drew got me a dress?" Alli exclaimed, shaking Adam for information as he whimpered in fear of her enthusiasm.

"We're going to need two outfits: one for a VIP birthday party, and the other for our release party. For the birthday party, I'm going to be wearing a black white-striped button down, chained vest, black leather skinnies, and the first pair of boots I ever bought from you. For the release party, the band and I are wearing the black, studded military outfits we bought from you a few months back," Eli explained as Jimmy nodded in agreement.

Eli looked down at me and smiled. "So we're gonna need you to paint my pretty little girlfriend's pink clothes to black and studs. Just be gentle, it's her first time," he winked, making me blush.

Jimmy looked me up and down. "It's been a while since I've seen a preppy girl like this in this fine establishment, I would be honored to corrupt her outlook for you, Mr. Goldsworthy," he grinned wickedly.

Uh-oh. What did I get myself into?

**oooooooooo**

"Eli, would you stop staring at my legs?" I squealed, hitting his shoulder.

"I can't help it, they're freaking long in those heels..."

"PDA, guys!" Alli groaned.

It was Friday night, the night of Fiona Coyne's party. Eli, Alli, Drew, and I were in the limo on our way to the party, and I was all dressed up and glammed with the outfits chosen by Jimmy Webb. We had been in the store for about two hours, trying on different dresses and outfits until everyone came into agreement on two dresses. For the party, everyone decided that I would wear a short, lacy black dress with a halter, fitted top and a flurry skirt that resembled feathers along with studded heels and eccentric-patterned tights. My hair was up in a messy bun and my make-up was light except for my pouty red lips, which made my eyes stand out even more. Adam could not come with us because he had to be there early. After all, he was Fiona Coyne's date. Fitz said that he needed to pick up his date on his own and insisted that he would meet us there, so we merely shrugged him off.

We arrived at the lit up party entrance, which had a huge red carpet and a lot of paparazzi and New Yorkers standing on the outside of the bars. My stomach flipped as the door opened and Drew and Alli stepped out, the crowd screaming with excitement. I felt Eli kiss my cheek and intertwine his fingers with mine as he stepped out a few seconds after, bringing me with him. I made sure to keep my balance on my heels and smiled shyly as the crowd of people roared even louder. I looked up at Eli and noticed that he was looking at me lovingly, smirking. I blushed and walked with him through the red carpet as the flashing lights of the cameras surrounded me.

"Elijah! Clare! Can you-"

"Is it official that you two are-"

"YOU GUYS ARE SO BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER!"

"Are you working on the album that release-"

"NO THEY DON'T! ELIJAH IS MINE!"

Eli removed his hand from mine and offered his arm. I gladly took his bicep in my hands and let him lead me through the crowd, the feeling of claustrophobia starting to kick in. I let out a sigh as we finally entered the large black doors that led to a large room decorated with a _lot_ of pink. The lights were dim, save for a huge spotlight on a very large cake with a _20 _on top, and there was a lot of people dancing and lounging.

"Clare, can you believe we're here?" Alli squealed as she came next to me, holding onto Drew.

"No I can't!" I replied, smiling widely.

"Come on, Alli, I want you to meet my idol!" Drew exclaimed, leading her to the dance floor as she waved softly.

I rolled my eyes and looked up at Eli, who was nodding his head in acknowledgment.

"So, are you ready to be Elijah Goldsworthy's hot sexy date?" he smirked, leading me into the crowd of celebrities.

"You know it, Mr. Goldsworthy," I winked, and he chuckled.

I never saw Eli as mingler at parties, but apparently he was. He took me from group to group, introducing me and talking with people for a few minutes before going somewhere else. A lot of the people here, I didn't recognize, but there were a few people I did recognize. I actually met some of the songwriters that I admired, actors, and musicians. Honestly, I don't know how I didn't faint! Well, after meeting Elijah Goldsworthy, I think anyone is immune from over-fan girling. After an hour of standing, I finally convinced Eli to sit down. We sat down at a secluded section of the party and sighed.

"So what do you think of your first celebrity party?" Eli asked smugly.

"Well, besides meeting some of the most famous people I've heard of, it's kind of boring," I stated honestly, raising an eyebrow.

"Boring?" Eli asked, feigning hurt.

I crossed my legs and smirked. "When is the fun going to happen?"

Eli smirked devilishly and placed his hand on my knee, rubbing small circles. "Oh, so you want some fun, do you?"

My eyes glazed over and I was about to flirt some more, when suddenly a blonde girl wearing a white, sparkle dress came up to us.

"Eli! I'm so glad you could make it!" she exclaimed, fluttering her long lashes.

"Oh, hey Tinsley. Yeah, of course, we love Fiona. I haven't seen her around, or Adam. Have you seen her?" he asked.

Tinsley was another band member of GCJ, I recognized her then. I wanted to kill her for interrupting.

"Uh, no. She's probably with Adam talking to guests. But hey! I really want you to meet someone!" she exclaimed, reaching for Eli's hand.

I growled under my breath.

"Who is it? And I'd rather not leave Clare by her-"

"Eli! You came!" someone called.

We looked up and I gasped. Fiona walked over to us, her arm around Adam's, in her absolutely stunning black mini dress. She looked like she was glowing, I was a little jealous. I stood up as Eli did as she reached him and outstretched her arms. Eli hesitated, but then pulled her into a short hug.

"Happy birthday, Fi. I hope Adam is treating you right," Eli said playfully, letting her go.

Fiona smiled and then turned to me, her head tilting.

"Oh, Eli, who's this pretty girl?"

Eli looked at me, his eyes shining. "This is my girlfriend."

I blushed. "My name Clare Edwards, it's so nice to meet you. Happy birthday!" I said, surprised when she suddenly pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm so happy you came! I'm glad the rumors were true; you are really pretty," she complimented, letting me go and smiling.

My eyes widened and I mumbled a quiet thank you, completely embarrassed.

"So, Eli, come meet our manager?" Tinsley asked, breaking the conversation.

Eli looked at me, then at Tinsley.

"It's fine, Eli, we'll keep Clare company. Our manager has wanted to meet you," Fiona said, taking my arm in hers warmly.

Eli nodded his head and lingered his gaze on mine a little while longer before turning and following Tinsley into the crowd. I turned back and suddenly felt like a third wheel as Adam and Fiona looked at each other lovingly. Now I know how he felt when Eli and I were together.

"So Clare, do you like dancing?" she asked, shaking her hips.

"Of course! I've wanted to dance all night!" I responded, moving my hips with hers.

"Good! Adam, take us out to dance," Fiona ordered in a sweet voice, teasing.

Adam laughed and took the two of us to the dance floor. We submerged ourselves into the crowd and danced to the beat of the music, laughing and acting like fools. Fiona was one of the nicest girls I have ever met; she was so fun, but she still knew how to keep her attention on one person even if she had a lot of people around her rather than ignore me. I gave Adam a look as we continued dancing, and I saw the faint blush adorn his cheeks. After a few songs, we got tired and decided to sit it out. We went back to the couch we were previously sitting on and panted.

"Clare, I am SO happy that you're Eli's girlfriend. You're so much fun," Fiona complimented.

"Yeah, that's our Clare-bear," Adam added, smiling.

I blushed and played with the end of my dress. "Oh come on, you guys are too nice."

"We really have to keep in touch after this, I don't want you to just disappear on me, okay?" Fiona said.

I laughed and turned my head, trying to look for Eli. I hadn't seen him in a while and I was beginning to grow anxious. Adam and Fiona started a conversation without me as I continued to search for his dark head through the crowd. I saw a blonde head, and followed it, recognizing it as Tinsley. Then, I saw Eli. He was talking to an older man, looking interested in the conversation. I smiled and turned back to the conversation, adding a comment here and there. I wondered where Alli was, too. I picked up my head again and absentmindedly turned to where Eli was. Rather than finding him with the man by themselves, I saw a girl with a silver dress and long black hair come up to him from behind. She placed her hand on his shoulder and walked around him. Eli's head perked up as he looked at the girl, his face blank as she smiled seductively and ran her hands up and down his arm. My eyes widened.

He didn't flinch. He always flinched.

My heart dropped as I watched his lips move and respond to her. He didn't move her hand from his arm, nor did he look angry like he usually did. Who was this girl?

"Who is that?" I asked unconsciously.

Fiona and Adam perked up and followed my gaze. "Oh no," Adam groaned.

"That's Lola," Fiona sighed, shaking her head. "What does she think she's doing?"

I looked back and gauged their reactions, they both stared at each other, having a silent conversation.

"Okay, will someone tell me what the hell is going on with this Lola girl?" I asked, frustrated.

Fiona looked at me, her eyes sad. "Eli...he hasn't told you?"

"No, he always avoids the subject. And so do you, Adam," I stated, narrowing my eyes at him. "Also, I read that GCJ and Proxemics might have an alliance, is that true?"

Adam scrunched his eyebrows together and scoffed. "No, that's not true. Where did you hear that?"

I looked back at where Eli was and found that he and the girl were missing. I felt queasy all of a sudden.

"No one wants to tell me what happened with Lola?" I asked, looking at them desperately.

Fiona sighed, biting her lip. "I don't think it's my place to say. He should tell you himself," she said.

I looked away and let out a sigh, trying to calm myself.

"FIONA COYNE! GET ON UP HERE, BIRTHDAY GIRL, AND CUT YOUR CAKE!" a voice on the microphone exclaimed.

I looked up and my eyes narrowed as I saw Lola's flawless self next to the cake, calling up her band mate. Fiona touched my shoulder sympathetically before standing up and heading towards the cake. I looked at Adam pleadingly, but he just looked down. I needed to leave, I couldn't stand not knowing. I wanted to find Alli and tell her what happened; she was always good at cheering me up. As I stood up, I suddenly collided with a hard body. I looked up and saw Eli, his face serious and pensive.

"Are you ready to leave?" he asked, his voice tense.

"Yes," I confessed.

"Adam, we're leaving," Eli informed him, before grabbing my hand and leading me through the crowd of chanting people.

I looked at the back of his head and was confused by his sudden urgency to leave. We walked outside into the cool air and walked straight into a waiting limousine, sliding in. I looked at him, my eyes wide as he stared angrily at the end of the limousine.

"Eli? Tell me what's wrong," I said quietly.

He didn't budge, though. He merely stayed staring at nothing, his eyes softening slightly. I bit my lip and looked out the window, my heart banging against my rib cage at the possibilities of his anger. Did he have a past relationship with Lola? What had they said to each other? After a few minutes, we arrived at the penthouse. Wordlessly, he opened the door and slid out, waiting for me. I followed him out the limousine and up the stairs into the warm, empty penthouse.

He took of his vest and made his way up the stairs without a second glance at me, but I wasn't having any of that. I followed him up the stairs and into our room, shutting the door closed.

"Eli, what's going on? Why won't you look at me?" I asked desperately, watching as he swung the vest on a nearby chair and turned to me, his eyes on the floor. I walked up towards him, ready to make him look at me, but then gasped. My anger melted away as I saw the sadness in his face, his posture not angry anymore

"Clare."

He looked up, blue eyes met green.

"Eli...?"

His eyes flashed, and his breathe quickened.

"Only you. Dammit," he breathed. "Only you."

Softly, possessively, he took my hands in his and crashed his lips to mine. He kissed me, bringing my body to his, molding them, as he had never kissed me before. There was urgency, desperation, and love. I responded, just wanting to be with him again. All control was lost, and we took passion and pleasure from each other. Clothes were lost, bodies pressed together, pants filled the air. I kissed him, he touched me. I was drowning, drowing in the desperate need to love him and for him to love me. He moved me to the bed and pressed me to the mattress, his hands tracing all of my curves.

My name fell from his lips, my mind blurred.

Everything became fast, heated touches and breathy moans. I raked my hands down his back as he kissed every inch of my skin, daring to go where no man would ever go. He was intoxicating, his body weight on mine as he took everything from me, giving me everything he had. I was breathless, my love for him growing at his tender touches. He was everything to me, everything that I could have ever wanted. When he lowered himself to touch me, to lick me, in the most intimate of places, my moans grew in intensity. I gripped his hair in my hands as he loved me, moving his sensual tongue in rhythmic circles.

He was like molten lava on my body, his lips and tongue burning my nerves with endless pleasure.

Then, he buried himself inside me in one quick thrust, a cry of desperate need escaping us. I clutched onto him as he moved with tenderness, loving. He gasped my name as I clutched onto him tightly in an attempt to get him closer, his movements becoming faster as he stoked the fire inside of us. I forgot about everything except for Eli, our soft pants and gasps making me cry out as we moved our way to a quivering, trembling ecstasy that threatened to consume me. I never wanted to stop.

Suddenly, he rolled us over until I was lying above him, our chests brushing. We panted against each others lips for a few seconds, staring into our glazed eyes.

"Clare," he rasped, kissing my lips affectionately before I sat up and placed my hands on his hot chest. "Ride me."

And I did. My stomach quacked and I threw my head back as the passion consumed me, feeling his hands on my hips. Then, the pleasure became too much and I exploded around him, gripping his forearms as the waves of pleasure raked through me. I brought my body on top of his as he clenched his eyes shut and grinded against me one last time as he released with me. He wrapped his arms around me and bit my shoulder gently, bringing me down to my side and covering us with the blankets.

This was my everything.

**oooooooooo**

A few days after the party, I still felt that Eli wasn't telling me something about Lola.

I had spent the weekend with Adam and Alli, mostly. With the two most talkative people I knew, they were able to keep my mind off of Lola and Eli. Eli and Fitz were busy writing chords and arranging things with JJ that were time consuming. I only saw Eli at night, where we shared a large room. Sometimes, he would bring his sheets and we would shoot ideas back and forth for the ending of the lyrics. We would change the lyrics every so often and we had to start over and recreate the process. Usually I don't enjoy talking about the same thing for over an hour, but this was different. It was amazing, seeing how Eli's mind worked. Other times, Eli would be absolutely exhausted when he came to our room. I understood him; after all, the main reason we came was for work. So I would rake my hands through his hair lovingly until he fell asleep, unconsciously reaching for my waist and bringing me close. He changed so much in the past couple of months that we've been together.

The weekend went by and now it was Tuesday, and Eli and I spent the day together. Thankfully, there was a lot of people this time of year in New York and it was somewhat easy to blend in to a crowd. He had taken me to several music shops with old records and books, which kept us entertained for hours. I also insisted that he take me to a Broadway show, but he grimaced and told me there was nothing that was worth seeing. I begged to differ, but he convinced me otherwise by pushing me into a forgotten alleyway and kissing me like a mad man. Needless to say, I completely forgot about my dream to see Phantom of the Opera. Then, we just basically strolled around New York with thick coats and our hands intertwined.

Every once in a while, a couple of girls would jump in front of us and ask to take pictures with us, mostly with Eli, but I came out in some of them. I noticed that whenever girls came up to him, touching his bicep and his back, he would flinch subtly and his eyes would harden momentarily. Only a person who was as close as I would notice his hesitance, but still. I knew he was only comfortable with certain people touching him, so why was Lola one of them?

"Aww, is my poor little blue eyes afraid of ice?" Eli teased.

"No, I'm just afraid of falling on my butt and not being able to get up!" I argued, holding onto the rim.

Eli took me to Rockefeller Center and insisted that we go ice skating. It was already pretty dark and there was people in the rink, but I always wanted to go ice skating. Eli was an expert at ice skating, apparently, while I struggled to keep myself up. What wasn't this man good at?

"Here, hold onto my hand and I'll help you," Eli chuckled, holding out his hand.

I glared teasingly and held onto his hand, letting him pull me to the center of the rink. I waved my left hand in attempt to keep myself up as I let Eli pull me, squealing as I almost lost balance. Eli laughed and moved in front of me, turning swiftly to look at me and hold onto my two hands as he skated backwards.

"Stop showing off!" I whined playfully, holding onto his hands tightly.

"Me? Show off? Never," Eli snickered. "I just like watching you wave your hands around like a little girl."

I glared and removed my hands from his stubbornly. He rose an eyebrow in amusement as I struggled to keep balance, grinning when I successfully stood up straight. Then I squealed in surprise when a skater dashed past me and made me lose the balance. Luckily, Eli caught me and held me close, chuckling in my ear.

"Don't worry, I think it's cute," Eli said, holding me in his arms..

I smiled into his warmth and looked up at him. Then, the question inside of me couldn't hold itself in anymore.

"What happened with you and Lola?" I asked, bluntly.

Eli stiffened and allowed me to remove myself form his arms, holding onto his hands again and letting him pull me around the rink.

"What do you mean?" he asked stiffly.

I looked down at my feet and bit my lip. "Well, at Fiona's party...you let her get near you. You told me you don't like unnecessary physical contact."

"Not with you. Any physical contact with you is always necessary," Eli smirked, trying to change the subject.

I looked up at him curiously. "Eli, you don't have to tell me what happened if you don't want to, but just know that...I know something happened," I said.

Eli's eyes darkened as they narrowed slightly.

"You're familiar with her touch, and that alone gives it away. Please just, for my sake, tell me if you're still interested in her," I whispered, my heart dropping as I ushered the words through my lips.

Eli's eyes saddened and he brought me into his arms again, spinning us on the ice slowly as the momentum moved us.

"Lola...she used to be close to the band and I, but not anymore. It has been a problem, being friends with Fiona and the band when Lola is so close to them, but we manage somehow. She's not invited to our Christmas party, so you don't have to worry about unwanted advances, okay?" he said, bringing his head to my hair, kissing it gently.

"I would never leave you, Clare. You are my entire world, and I love you more than I thought was possible," he breathed, resting his head on my shoulder.

I smiled sadly and held onto his shoulders, nuzzling my cheek on his hair. "I love you too," I whispered.

Everything was okay. For now.

**oooooooooo**

A strum of the guitar.

Tune the bass.

Beats of the drum.

Being inside the velvet red recording studio with Proxemics was indescribable. Eli put large headphones over my ears and grinned, winking. I blushed and turned to the music in front of the intimidating microphone, going over it once again. I looked up through the mirror and saw Alli, JJ, and the music producer pointing at buttons and screens in front of them. Then, they looked up and buzzed a button.

"Okay you guys, this is the last song that will go on the album _Odd Room_ before we wrap it up. Let's go to "If It Means a Lot to You" with Clare and Eli," the producer said through the PA.

Eli came to the microphone next to me, black earphones adorning his head and his acoustic guitar in his hands, and cleared his throat. Adam was going to play the electric guitar in this one, while Drew played the drums, of course. There was no electric guitar or drums in the first part of the song, it was going to be pure voice and guitar for the meanwhile. Fitz sat down in the stool in front of the microphone and positioned his guitar in front of him. Our eyes collided, and I instantly turned away.

"Ready, guys?" Eli asked through the microphone, and I heard him through the earphones.

Fitz and I nodded, and he started to bob his head to a beat in his head. He gave a pronounced bob, and the two started to play the guitar in harmony. Then, Eli came in singing. His singing was absolutely breath-taking, that I didn't even notice it was almost my turn to sing. I felt butterflies in my stomach as my part came up. I swallowed inaudibly and took in a deep breath. Eli and I looked at each other and smiled as we came in together to harmonize. I put a hand on my stomach to measure the control of breath and sang. The drums came in, as well as some electric guitar, as we started to build up. I felt the hairs of my arm stand up from the sheer emotion of singing with the band. Everyone came together as we sang the final verses of the song.

We stopped, and everyone cheered. We congratulated each other and gave high-fives to everyone. Eli laughed and hugged me quickly, kissing my cheek.

"You were amazing," he whispered.

I blushed as he let me go and went to the microphone. "How was that?" Eli asked.

"Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!" JJ exclaimed, Alli squealing in the background.

"We would just like to take it again from the last chorus because there was a few mix-ups with the chords. Can we do that?" the producer asked.

We got back into positions, and finished the song within an hour's time. After a few days of editing and re-singing, we actually did it. On December 23rd at 6:23 PM, Proxemics album _Odd Rooms_ was completed with "If It Means a Lot To You [featuring Clare Edwards]" as the final song.

**oooooooooo**

Alli applied the last few dabs of red lipstick on my lips and smiled in satisfaction. The Proxemics Christmas party/release party was downstairs and the loud rock music was faint as I sat in the vanity with Alli, getting ready. We smiled at each other, and no words needed to be said. We were happy, we didn't need anything else. Alli came next to me and looked at the two of us in the mirror. She was wearing a sparkle chrome mini-dress, along with stilletos and a lot of wristbands. I was wearing a black loose mini-dress with tall anklet boots and studded bracelets. Drew came into the door and knocked.

"We're gonna start, come on," Drew said, wearing a black fitted military jacket just like Eli had said.

Alli and I quickly fixed our hair and ran after him, coming down the stairs to greet all of the celebrities and fans that filled up the entire room. Drew ran up to the now set-up platform where the entire band was in their matching outfits. Everyone had their instruments ready, plugged in, and tuned. A large Proxemics banner hung behind them as well as severl screens that also hung on the entire room.

"WELCOME TO THE PROXEMICS RELEASE PARTY!" Eli exclaimed into the microphone

"YEAHHHHHHHHH!"

"Thank you guys for coming! We're gonna kick off this little party with a little song from our new album, _Odd Room_. Hit it!"

Drew banged on the drums loudly as the entire band came in to create a loud, pure punk rock music. Alli and I made our way through the screaming crowd and went to the very front, cheering and throwing our hands in the air as Fitz's guitar solo came in. We cheered them on as Eli sang into the microphone stand, moving his fingers on the guitar expertly. The chorus came and the crowd was absolutely crazy, jumping up and down with the crazy beat. Eli swung his guitar back and let Fitz take over as he grabbed the microphone stand and sang into it. All the girls, including myself, went wild with screaming when he gave out a long scream, leaning back and taking the microphone stand with him. He widened his stance and held onto the microphone stand, grunting and grinding into it wildly as the bass and guitar filled up the room, making everyone roar loudly. By the end of the song, everyone was so pumped up.

He was so _fucking _sexy. I officially wanted to be that microphone stand so he could grind up against me and grunt like an animal.

"THANK YOU, NEW YORK!" Eli screamed out, lifting his hands for applause. "Now I don't want to spoil the entire album, but I do want to sing to you the duet that my lovely girlfriend and I have created together. Come on up here, blue eyes," he winked, panting into the microphone.

I blushed and shyly walked up the stairs to the platform and smiled as Eli brought me another microphone stand. The guitar started to play, and Eli and I sang our song together, looking at each other every once in a while and exchanging glances. The audience was so responsive and they loved every second of us on the stage. Performing with Eli was my new favorite thing, and I could do it for the rest of my life, I decided. By the end of the song, the entire band came and we had a huge group hug as the party-goers cheered us on.

"Alright, so enjoy the party and let's have the best Christmas party ever!" Drew said through the microphone before we all got down the platform and met up with everyone.

I got a lot of congratulations from the party goers and couldn't help but blush as Eli gave me most of the credit. Alli came over and hugged me, telling me that I looked just like a rock star. Never in my life had I imagined that I would look like a star, let alone a rock star, but Eli always seems to prove me wrong. The party went on with rock music in the background and I was having so much fun meeting new people, fans of Proxemics. I was talking to several people when Eli came behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Hey, my blue eyed rocker. How are you doing?" he whispered in my ear, making me shudder.

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Amazing, you?"

"Now? I'm amazing, too," he grinned, kissing the top of my hair.

I smiled and looked up, but then my smile fell as I looked at Fitz with his arm around a certain someone.

"Eli?"

"Yes, blue eyes?"

"I thought you said Lola wasn't invited to the party," I said lowly, keeping my eyes on the black-haired beauty in Fitz's arms as they talked to JJ.

"What?" Eli asked incredulously, following my gaze. "How did she get in here?"

He let me go and stomped his way over to them, with me waking right behind him. When he reached Fitz, Lola, and JJ, he tapped Fitz on the shoulder.

"Fitz? Can I talk to you?" he asked lowly.

Fitz nodded and let go of Lola to walk slightly to the side.

"How did Lola get in here? I specifically told the security that she was not allowed inside," he asked.

"Oh, I let her in," Fitz said, a smirk on his lips. "Why was she not invited?"

I stood on the side, watching silently as the tension started to rise. This reminded me a lot of the hard interview I witnessed. I crossed my arms and bit my lips as I stared.

"Fitz. I don't want any drama. We talked about this, why the hell are you doing this again? I thought we were passed this," Eli growled.

"Oh Eli, thank goodness you're here! Fitz and Lola told me of their plans to have an affiliation and I absolutely love the idea. What do you think? We can have another tour with GCJ!" JJ came in, putting his arm around Fitz.

"No! What the hell, when was this decided?" Eli exclaimed angrily.

As I watched the conversation go on, I suddenly felt a presence next to me. I quickly turned my head and gasped softly when I saw Lola stand next to me, staring at the boys as well.

Lola snickered. "Boys will be boys, huh?"

"Y-Yeah...they're always fighting," I murmured, surprised by her comment. I always imagined Lola to be mean and vicious by the way people described her to be.

"I know, right? Especially Eli, he's so hot-headed sometimes," Lola added, her beautifully dark eyes glancing at me.

"I think Fitz is more hot-headed than Eli, if you ask me," I smiled, shaking my head.

"Well whatever, at least they have Adam and Drew to balance them out," she nodded.

I rose my eyebrows and looked at her taller figure.

"So I'm guessing you know the band really well then, huh, Lola?" I asked.

Lola turned to face me as she smirked. "Oh sweetie, please, Lola is just my stage name."

"Oh? Then what do I call you?" I smiled.

"My name is Julia, Julia Locklear," she stated, a wicked smirk on her face.

I gasped and my eyes widened my heart pounding in my ears.

"Julia? Julia _Locklear_?" I clarified in disbelief.

I saw Eli's head pick up from the corner of my eye and he turned with panic written all over his body. My stomach dropped and my body felt numb as I stared at the girl who I presumed to be dead. I turned to Eli, who was looking at me with an indescribable expression on his face, my body turning cold with shock.

"I thought you said she was dead," I breathed shakily, my hands quivering.

Eli's eyes hardened as he glared at Lola, _Julia_, darkly. His face was twisted in the coldest glare I had ever seen in my life, directing it towards the smug girl next to me.

"She is dead. She's dead _to me._"

* * *

BAM! How'd you like my twist? I bet you didn't see THAT coming! Reviews would be lovely! I promise next week will not be late.

**WAZAM**


	15. Announcement

For those of you who follow me on twitter, SURPRISE! I know I said I wasn't going to update today, but it's my gift to you for Christmas, even if...well, you'll see as you read. Let me tell you: your reaction to the last chapter? Priceless. It was more than I ever expected and I am absolutely smitten. Also, we broke reviewing record again! 100+ reviews from the last chapter? Wow, you guys spoil me! Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews and critiques, I really do take them into account and try to improve my writing. I love you guys!

So this chapter is particularly shorter than most of my chapters, but it is just as important. Please read and enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I own a creamy red velvet cake in my kitchen, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 15._

I was numb. I didn't know what to feel anymore.

"Why?"

"Why what, Eli?"

"Why are you _here_?" Eli seethed at Julia, his posture crouched and tight.

Julia let out an amused laugh, throwing her head back and placing her long fingers over her stomach in hilarity. The music was still pounding and people were still dancing, but the tension was becoming too thick to ignore now. Adam and Drew joined Fitz and JJ as they stood on the side watching Julia and Eli and myself, the third wheel. I saw Alli behind Drew, but she was just as speechless and uninvolved as I was.

"You have got to be kidding me! Is that it? Is that why you've got your panties in a knot? I can't believe this, you're still angry at me after all this time? Stop being such a baby, Eli!" Julia snickered, her eyes dancing with mischief and her lips curled in a very similar smirk.

I watched as Eli's glowing green eyes widened and his breath catch in his throat. He curled his lips in a snarl and narrowed his eyes dangerously at her.

"What you did is far from acceptable; it is unforgivable! You took everything from me, and you expect me to let you into my home, my party, my _heart _without a second thought?" Eli exclaimed and mumbled profanities under his breath, stomping his foot in anger and turning to give his back to me.

He was going way over board with this! I thought that all she did was cheat on him, he was taking this way over the line. Then again, I don't even know what the truth was and what wasn't. I crossed my arms and turned around, noticing that several people started to turn to watch the scene but overall people were ignorant of the argument. I turned back to the scene, where Eli was hissing words under his breath at Julia, who kept that amused, sinister smirk on her face. She was unfazed by his uncontrollable anger, but I was. I felt my eyes water slightly as I felt the room start to spin. I was frustrated that I didn't know what was going on, I was confused as to why he lied to me, I was heart-broken that he actually hid something from me again, I was angry at him for promising that he would be different, but most of all I scared of what this meant.

"Guys! Stop!" Fitz said strongly, walking over to Julia and Eli and getting in between, his back to Julia.

"Don't think you're the innocent one here, Fitz. You betrayed me, again," Eli said quietly, his voice barely controlled as Adam, Drew, and JJ walked up to them.

Fitz shook his head in disappointment and turned his head to JJ. "Do you see this? This is exactly what I was talking about!"

I tilted my head in confusion; Adam glared, Drew's eyes widened, Julia licked her lips, and JJ frowned.

"What? What's going on?" Eli asked, his eyes searching wildly.

"This isn't the first time Eli goes haywire; this has happened three times in the past year, and four more times since we formed this band. What really makes this unacceptable is that this always, and I mean _always, _has something to do with his personal choice of being reserved and away from the fame, which was weird to begin with," Fitz started, turning towards the three boys on the side.

My heart started to pound in my ears as the wheels started to turn in my head. Fitz was up to something, what was he doing?

"What does that have to do with anything, Fitz?" Eli demanded, smacking his arm so that he could have his attention.

"You're not exactly helping your case here, Goldilocks," Fitz smirked. "Eli has a lot of issues that are affecting this band and putting pressure on its members in a way that is completely unnecessary and should not be stood for."

Oh my god. Was he going where I think he was going? I watched as Eli's face went from angry, to confused, to disbelief at the realization.

"I was talking with JJ over here and he confirmed something very exciting. JJ, would you care to do the honors?" Fitz asked.

JJ sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Well it is official that that we did, indeed, have enough success in the Proxemics tour to go on an even more successful world tour this year to kick off the new album," he stated, his gaze focused on Eli.

A very happy news was apparently not appreciated. Adam mumbled something to Fitz, Drew took in a deep breath and looked down, not wanting to meet anyone's gaze, and JJ stared at Eli in deep thought. Why wasn't anyone happy about that? Did the boys already know about that? Wait...was everyone in on this?

"But I don't see how we could possibly go on world tour with such a messed up leader of the band," Fitz finished, staring at Eli darkly. "In fact, I don't see how we could proceed with our career at all with a leader as sucked up in his life as Eli. We need a leader who is innovative and can take full responsibility of the pressure one has to take to move forward in the music industry. A leader like me."

"Where are you going with this?" Eli asked, his voice almost inaudible.

"This is going nowhere, Eli, as long as you remain dead weight to this band," Fitz shrugged.

He looked at the band, who stared at him in warning and in curiosity. "Which is why we all agree that you should be kicked out of the band," Fitz finished, his face feigning hurt. "I'm sorry, man, but you just can't handle it."

I gasped and placed my hand over my heart as I watched hurt and betrayal cross Eli's eyes, his jaw tight and his body trembling slightly. Eli's eyes were downcast as he tried to control himself, not knowing what to do. I wanted to cry, to run and hold him and tell him everything was going to be okay, because his pain was my pain. I can't believe they would do this to him! I immediately shot my gaze up to glare accusingly at Adam for not saying anything, but I noticed that he was just as surprised as I was. Drew and Adam were staring at each other in complete shock, while JJ looked down at the floor like a coward. I growled angrily when Fitz smirked in satisfaction, Julia clinking her heels until she reached his side and held onto his arm lovingly.

That's when it hit me.

The interview when Fitz purposely mentioned Julia in front of me, when he threatened me to stay away from Eli, Fitz's change in demeanor with me, bringing Lola/Julia with him all the time...he was trying to get Eli unstable this entire time. He has been wanting to break us up because he knew that it would be devastating for him and give Fitz an excuse to take charge. When he knew that Eli and I weren't going to break up so easily, he started to bring in Julia. At first, he thought that the mere past would tear us apart, but he brought her in to meet me to make matters worse. I glared in disbelief, watching as Fitz grinned in his rise to power and Eli's vulnerability. It was his plan all along, to be on top of the band. Unfortunately, Fitz got the display of anger that he had wanted with Eli and Julia.

He got exactly what he wanted.

Eli's face finally looked up, and he stared sadly at the four boys in front of him. "You were all in on this, then?" Eli asked them, his eyes accusing.

The boys were shocked, their mouths opening and closing but nothing came out. I shuddered when Eli's sad, green eyes looked into mine, broken down. He exhaled sharply, closing his eyes and gripping his hair in frustration. Suddenly his wide eyes opened and he walked away, moving past us and the crowd and walking up the stairs of the penthouse. My heart shattered and dropped to my stomach as the tears finally fell down my cheeks. He was lost, confused. I know that he had to have a good reason as to why he lied; he needed the benefit of the doubt.

"WHAT THE FUCK, FITZ?" Adam yelled, walking over to him and shoving him.

Julia let go of Fitz's arm and walked to the side, away from the fight. There was fire in Adam's eyes as Fitz regained his composure and towered over him.

"You knew this was coming!" Fitz argued, his stance open.

Adam growled and was about to attack, but Drew came up and held him back. "Not like this, Adam!" Drew calmed, glaring at Fitz.

JJ walked up to Fitz and scoffed. "You told me you thought he was unstable, I didn't think you would kick him out of the band! What the hell, Fitz?" he scolded.

"I would make a way better leader, and you know it. I play just as well as he does and I can come up with songs too. We don't need him and his emo music," Fitz stated confidently.

"Look, I don't know what the hell your problem is, but none of us agree with this! You can't kick Eli out of Proxemics," Drew exclaimed, his voice so loud that I saw some of the party-goers turn to us.

Fitz scoffed. "I think I just did. Eli didn't argue with me because he knows just as well as I do that he can't do this!"

"That is not true!" Adam retorted angrily.

I took in a deep breath and knew that I had to do something about this. I knew I wasn't going to be much help down here, but I could definitely help upstairs with Eli. Eli needed me, just like I needed him. I knew that Adam, Drew, and JJ were all on Eli's side of this and that everything would be under control here. I turned on my black heels and started to walk towards the stairway, determined to get to the bottom of this situation. As I was about to ascend the stair case, I felt a hand on my wrist stop me and turn me around.

I gasped when my eyes came in contact with icy violet.

"Where are you going?" Julia asked, her voice almost too sweet to match her cold body language.

"I'm going to talk to Eli, alone," I said, trying to get my wrist from her cool fingers.

"Will you just give up already?" she said, exasperated.

I lifted my eyebrows.

"He lied to you about me and you're still going to crawl back to him? Don't be pathetic," Julia scoffed.

I glared my blue eyes. "I don't think it's any of your business what I do or don't do. Any enemy of Eli is an enemy of mine."

Julia lifted one eyebrow in amused surprise. "Enemy? Little girl, you don't know what you're getting yourself into."

I scoffed and turned around, about to walk up the stairs again when she pulled me back.

"Why don't you just let it happen? Fitz wouldn't do this if he didn't think it was right. We're not trying to be mean to Eli, we just know what's good for the band," she hissed.

"We? Last time I checked you were with GCJ," I argued.

Julia chuckled coldly. "Listen. You are completely, and totally wrong for Eli. So just give up already and let it happen. I know him better than anyone. In every sense of the word," she smirked seductively, trying to anger me.

"Julia. I don't like you. I love Eli more than anything and nothing you say is going to stop me. So stop being so insecure, and get off my back," I smiled sweetly before pulling my hand back and walking up the stairs before she could say anything else.

Once I successfully made it upstairs, I looked around the empty hallways with endless doors. As the music pounded and shook my feet, I wondered which door to start looking in. I sighed and decided to check in our bedroom first, hoping that he would be in there. I made my way down the dark hallway and stood in front of our door before opening it softly. I peeked inside, and sure enough, Eli was sitting on the bed with his head hung and his elbows on his knees in a crouched position. I sighed as I slowly made my way inside and closed the door softly. I had seen him in this pose before; the last time I saw him this way was when he told me the, apparently, untrue story of Julia.

I slowly made my way to him, my heels sinking into the soft carpet before I sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. I sighed sadly when he didn't even bother to look up, his eyes were still covered by his dark bangs in their hung position.

"Eli?"

He inhaled and looked up at me, his eyes lighter than usual. He looked back down at his intertwined fingers and sighed.

"Do you want to leave?" he asked quietly, his voice husky.

"No, I don't," I replied, slowly placing my hand on his broad shoulders. I smiled when he didn't flinch and rubbed small, soothing circles. "But I would really like you to tell me what happened, if you don't mind."

Eli played with my purity ring on his finger. "You're not mad?"

"I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed that you lied to me," I replied sadly, my fingers kneading the knots on his back.

"I never lied to you, I just...edited the story," Eli sighed, picking up his head and staring at the wall in front of us. "Julia...she did cheat on me, but it wasn't with some guy in a band. It was Fitz, as you can well imagine. Really, that is what made me upset and angry with her more than with Fitz. When Adam told me that she got hit by a car, we ran outside to make sure she was okay. She was fine because the car wasn't going so fast and she only broke an arm and bruised her ribs. When we ran out, she was on the street along with several drivers who had stopped to help. I went to help her and kneeled down, inspecting for any serious cuts or bruises, but found none. What I did find was her purse flung to the side with a lot of crumpled up papers that spilled out. While Adam tended to her arm and called an ambulance, I went to pick up her purse and put the papers back in. However, one of the papers was not crumbled very well and I read 'Money Transfer Receipt' with her bank account number next to mine..."

He took in a shaky breath and I placed my chin on his shoulder, my hand rubbing long circles on his back now in encouragement.

"She, uh...she stole from me. After I found that paper, I started to un-crumble the other ones as well. She transferred more than half of the profits I had made from my music to her own account, which was about fifteen million dollars at the time of my early career, little by little. And you know what? That didn't bother me as much as when I opened the last crumbled paper that was an e-mail from a music producer that came attached to music sheets. The song that she and I were supposed to sing, the one that I put all of my heart and soul into, was suddenly already published. She stole three of the songs we had worked on together and started her own band with Fiona, Tinsely, and Holly J called GCJ, with those three songs that made them almost as successful as Proxemics. but not even close," he said grimly.

My eyes were wide and my heart clenched painfully. How could someone do that? How could anyone be so...cold-hearted?

"I remember the look in her eyes when I turned around with the e-mail of her new manager in hand. She looked so...indifferent, cold," he whispered, mostly to himself. "I had never seen her like that before. I asked her why, and she only laughed at me. As the ambulance arrived and took her in, I realized that stealing my work and my success was the whole reason for our relationship. I had let myself fall for her, when all she wanted was to use me to step on to reach for the golden ticket."

He sighed and turned his head to look at me cautiously. "Everyone was distraught, of course, because we thought of Julia as part of the family. It was a really dark time for us, but we managed to pull together. Fitz apologized and I forgave him, but after that we were just always on unsteady ground...I don't like being vulnerable, especially after what happened. That is why I didn't want to tell you about Julia. I am really sorry, Clare," he said, hanging his head.

I removed my chin from his shoulder and ducked down slightly so that I could see his eyes. "It's okay, Eli. I am just a little sad that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me, that's all."

"I do trust you," Eli said quickly, looking up. "I trust you more than anyone, Clare."

I cupped his cool cheek with my hand and traced his cheekbone with my thumb softly. "I trust you, too. Adam and Drew are right behind you as well."

"No they're not. They were in on this plan to sabotage me with Fitz all along," Eli murmured, his eyes darkening slightly.

"I promise you that once you left, Adam was the first to stick up for you. They stood up for you before, and they'll stick with you again. So did JJ! No one wants you kicked out!" I defended, watching as his faced relaxed in my hands.

"What am I going to do, Clare? Even if Adam and Drew aren't with Fitz on this, and even if we somehow get passed this, I don't think I'll be able to lead this band," Eli sighed, bringing his hand over mine.

I gasped and narrowed my eyes. "What are you talking about? Don't even say that!"

Eli turned his head into my palm and kissed it softly, bringing it down to his lap with both hands as he played with my fingers. "How am I supposed to lead a band into a world tour when there has been so much corruption? How am I supposed to start from scratch? I can't go solo, I can't play...what do I do now?"

I moved my hands from his and held his in between, moving my body so that I was facing him. "Elijah Goldsworthy, don't have any doubt in that silly little mind of yours that you can't make it. You are the glue to Proxemics, you are the musical genius. I have never met anyone so talented and so smart in my entire life. Eli, you wrote an entire song in thirty minutes at my house when I told you I loved you! Not only did you write music and lyrics to it, but it was the most beautiful song I had ever heard in my life. You have the innovative looks and mind-set that can keep you above and beyond wherever you go. You are the artistic director of your concerts, you are the writer of most of the powerful lyrics, _you _are the head of Proxemics for a reason!"

Eli let in a shaky breath as he took in my words, the open emotions in his eyes swirling.

"And whatever you do, wherever you go, I'm going with you," I smiled confidently. "So I guess you're stuck with me."

Eli swallowed and suddenly brought me into a tight hug. I sighed as the warmth filled me, wrapping my arms around his neck as his strong arms enveloped me into him in the biggest bear hug I've ever gotten. Eli lifted one hand and put my hair behind my ear softly, kissing it sweetly.

"You are too good to me. I love you, blue eyes," Eli whispered into my ear.

I giggled and leaned back so that I could look into his green eyes. "I promise you're going to get so tired of me," I smiled playfully.

"Never," he whispered before leaning down to kiss my lips eagerly.

I smiled into his lips and kissed him back with equal sweetness, enjoying as his hands caressed my body. Suddenly, he removed his lips from me and gasped, his eyes wide with mischief.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Suddenly, he grinned wickedly. "Well, two things. First thing is first, your Christmas present," he smirked.

"Oh?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow.

"Yes, but you're going to have to wait for it now. There has been a change of plans," he said, removing himself from me and standing up.

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, wanting him to come back and kiss me. "I don't mind waiting, but...well...what's the second thing?"

Eli offered me his hand, and I held onto it firmly before he pulled me up and led me out of the room. I laughed as he ran down the hallway, leading us towards the boom of the music.

"Eli, tell me what's going on!" I giggled, catching up to him as we arrived to the railing of the second floor so that we were over-seeing the room filled with dancing people.

He kissed my cheek softly and grinned. "You'll see," he said. "Gabe, can I have a microphone here, please?" Eli called to the security at the bottom of the stairs.

A few minutes later, Gabe came back with a wireless microphone. Eli thanked him and grabbed it, tapping it to make sure it was on. Then, he brought it to his lips.

"Yeah, excuse me! Can I have everyone's attention?" he called through the microphone.

The music dimmed slightly and everyone turned up towards us, including Adam, Drew, Alli, JJ, and Fitz. Where was Julia?

"It has come to my attention that my band members are not very happy with the way I have been running things around here," Eli started.

My eyes widened and I looked up at him as he grinned. "Eli?"

"So, before I let you all continue with the Proxemics album release/Christmas party, I just have on announcement to say," he said, pausing as the silence filled the room.

Silence.

Thud.

Tension.

"They're getting exactly what they wanted. I quit Proxemics."

* * *

OH NO! Eli quitting Proxemics? What will happen! I'm sorry for its lack of plot, but it was necessary. Please send me a lovely review on your thoughts!

Happy holidays! Hope you spoil yourself with delicious food, I know I am!

**WAZAM**


	16. Starting Over

Three more chapters, everyone! It went by so fast, I didn't even notice how close the end was! To put you out of any misery that you might be feeling (in case you are) Eli's point of view will be next, and you will not have to feel deprived of Rockstar, per say. I am so close to 1,000 reviews, I can't even think straight! Oh wow, I am going to absolutely love my 1,000th reviewer and shower them with all of my love!

Thank you to all of those who read, review, and/or recommend this story. Truly, there are no words.

**Disclaimer:** I own amazing Twitter friends, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 16._

It was head turning, jaw-dropping, and heart stopping.

"So enjoy this party, because it's the last night that the boys and I will be together as a band," Eli said, motioning the DJ to turn up the music again.

"Eli! This is not what I meant!" I whispered harshly, his words ringing in my head.

He merely smirked and walked down the stairs confidently, contrary to the completely awe-struck and vulnerable expression of every single person in the entire room. I followed behind him frantically, trying to catch up with his long strides. People started to murmur to each other as we approached the group. Adam, Drew, JJ, and Alli were all in shock and completely speechless, but Fitz was glaring suspiciously with his arms crossed.

"You win, Fitzy-boy. Have fun getting over your writer's block," Eli smirked, glaring back in amusement.

Alli came up next to me and was staring at me in shock. "What did you say to him?" she whispered.

"Nothing! I don't know what's going on either!" I whispered back, my attention going back to the boys when Adam stepped up in the middle of Fitz and Eli.

"Whoa, dude...what are you doing?" Adam asked Eli.

"Giving Fitz what he wants. I'm tired of fighting with him," Eli replied.

Adam looked back at the the remaining members of Proxemics, contemplating, before he looked back at Eli. He walked over to his side and stood next to him, his hand on his shoulder.

"Well, wherever you go, I go. We're kind of a one package deal," Adam said, a smirk on his face. Eli looked at him and nodded, smirking in acknowledgment.

Drew looked at JJ, then Fitz, and then shrugged. "Eli is the musical genius of the group; he was the one who really pushed me to be what I wanted to be," he said, walking over next to Eli as well. "I owe you everything, there's no way I'm gonna leave you and Adam alone," he grinned.

JJ, who was watching the whole scene unfold, pat Fitz on the back. "Well, I guess we've come to a predicament here, haven't we? Proxemics is now population one, while no name is population three plus the two chickies," JJ said.

I smiled when JJ walked over to the three boys slowly and turned to Fitz. Fitz growled angrily, his jaw clenching tightly with restraint. Eli crossed his arms and lifted one eyebrow with a sly smirk.

"Well, I guess it's just you, Fitzy. I think we can all think of a solution here, can't we?" Eli said.

Fitz's eyes widened in anger.

"We might as well just keep the label...and kick Fitz out," Eli said, cocking his head in challenge.

Even if the new album of Proxemics was playing loudly in the speakers, the whole room was focused on what was going on now. It was an implosion, a small intense argument that was probably bigger than an explosion, but Eli won. As Fitz opened his mouth to say something, we suddenly heard a woman screech from the entrance of the penthouse. We all turned and saw Julia seething at her two band-mates, Fiona and Holly J.

"You girls are making the biggest mistakes of your lives!" Julia screeched, her face beautiful even when angry.

"No, Julia. We can't stand being this anymore. I've been working with you with a stolen base, with a stolen career. I can't live with this anymore. I quit," Holly J smiled arrogantly, before stomping from the entrance.

Julia looked at Fiona with sympathy. "Please, Fiona. You're my best friend..."

"Honey, this is what friends do. You are obviously way out of line here and someone has to pull you back. So while you do, I quit as well," Fiona said, turning away from her. "I always wanted to be an actress anwyway!"

I dropped my jaw at her simplicity, Adam smiled knowingly, while everyone else rolled their eyes as she left.

"Okay...enough with the bad news. While we keep this party going, I'd like to ask you to take your stuff from upstairs and leave," Eli ordered. "Derek, go get his things," he said, while Derek nodded his head and took a few men upstairs.

"You think you've won, haven't you?" Fitz said, approaching him with a silent fury.

Eli scoffed. "You were never even a player, Fitz. This was bound to happen anyway," he said.

"Why do you think I did this, huh? I did this because the fact still lies that you are still unable to lead the group, even without me," Fitz stated, face to face with him now.

"Oh yeah? Because I'm emotionally unstable, is that it?" Eli hissed.

My eyes widened. Oh no...he was starting to lose control. As I watched Fitz start to grin, I knew that this was what he wanted Eli to do. I wanted to stop them, but Alli was holding my arm tightly.

"Yeah, that's right. So you just keep writing your little emo songs and fuck your life-ruining bitch," Fitz laughed.

I gasped, my heart stung.

Eli's eyes widened infinitely.

The entire room fell thick.

Adam and Drew tried to move quick enough, but it was too late.

"ELI NO!" I screamed.

Eli swung his arm back and hit his nose, hard. Fitz groaned and held onto his nose, moving backwards, but Eli wasn't done. He connected his fist to his jaw harshly, and grunted as he punched his stomach and sent him to the floor. There were flashing lights of the cameras, people calling on the phone, insane arguments in the background, and Fitz had won. JJ was calling the ambulence now.

"What the fuck did you just say, you-!"

"It's always the fucking singer's girlfriend's fault, man. You let her ruin you," Fitz breathed, spitting out blood and grinning crookedly on the floor.

Eli's face was wild, uncontrolled, and no one wanted to get near him. He crouched down and held onto the color of his shirt, bringing him up slightly.

"I thought you said you and I were going to go together, that we were band brothers till the end. Now you crossed the line," Eli hissed.

The sound of the ambulence was heard, and medics came into the building, which also brought in papparazzi that were outside. They rushed inside and pulled Eli away from Fitz, but not before the cameras flashed and the memory was saved for the public.

"No, I didn't. I won," Fitz chuckled darkly as the medics carried him out of the building.

Adam came to Alli and I and pushed us back as the swarm of papparazzi became too much for the security to handle and surrounded Eli. I held onto Adam's arm and leaned my head against it, watching as Eli stood with his eyes wide at what had just happened.

"Is it true that Proxemics is breaki-"

"Elijah, why did you knock Fi-"

"Do you think this fight will make you lose a lot of fa-"

"Elijah Goldsworthy is unstable. What will his fans thi-"

There was no stopping it now.

**oooooooooo**

It was splattered on the newspaper:

'ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY HAS GONE MENTAL'

'MARK FITZGERALD HAS BEEN SENT TO THE HOSPITAL AFTER A RAGING ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY BEAT HIM UP'

'IS THIS THE END OF PROXEMICS?'

The people had gone from the party completely dumbstruck, as well as Fitz, who was currently in the hospital with no job. We had all talked to Eli, and everything seemed to be fine now. JJ said that he would do everything he could to calm down the media, but there was no promises. Eli said that he would like to schedule an interview to the public, but that wasn't the best idea for now. I had successfully calmed Eli down at night, telling him that it was okay and that we would get through it together. He had kissed me and told me he was sorry, and I knew that he was still the same as always. We spent the next several days in hiding, just staying in the penthouse and being with each other and the band, hoping that it would fade soon.

"We need a new guitarist, a male guitarist," Eli said a few days later, sitting in the kitchen table.

"I can schedule an audition for male rock guitarists," JJ said, instantly taking out his phone.

"So soon?" Adam asked, taking a bite of his cereal.

Eli nodded. "We have the world tour soon; if we're gonna do that, we need someone who will learn, and learn fast. It's already going to be January, we need time to prepare."

"Yeah, we can't let this get to us. We need to move forward. How soon can you get the audition?" Drew asked JJ.

JJ typed a few things on his phone and smiled. "Tomorrow afternoon. I have sent out invitations to producers and record companies to send any guitarists our way for tomorrow at the theatre."

"Wow, you're really good at that," Alli smiled, while JJ grinned.

The next day, everyone was already prepared to go out and finally face the problem. We all had breakfast together and discussed what was going to happen today with the audition and how to handle the media that was going to approach soon. After all that was finished, we basically relaxed.

"Look, as much as I love this penthouse, I don't wanna be stuck in here! I say we go out before the audition, who's with me?" Alli asked.

"I'll take you," Drew said, standing up and sighing as he fixed his shirt.

"Anyone else?" Alli asked, eyeing me. I looked away, not really wanting to go out.

"Well, I promised Fiona that we would go ice skating in a few minutes so as much as I would love to be the third wheel, no thanks," Adam smirked.

Alli nodded. "Clare?"

Eli wrapped his arms around me from behind and placed his chin on my shoulder. "No way, I need her for moral support," Eli grinned sheepishly.

She rolled her eyes and reached for Drew's hand. "Fine, then I guess we'll meet you guys back here in a few hours," Alli said as she and Drew walked out.

"Oh! Hey, Fiona," Alli said, letting Fiona in just as they were going out.

Fiona smiled sweetly and walked inside, her black bag around her shoulder.

"Hey, Princess Fiona," Adam grinned, bringing her into a hug.

Once he let her go, Fiona made eye contact with me and grinned. "Clare! Did you get my texts?"

"Yeah, and I'd love to go ice skating with you and Adam but..." I started.

"She's staying with me," Eli said, moving from behind me to stand next to me, his arm around my shoulders.

Fiona pouted and pulled me from him. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? I miss Clare's company," she said, hugging me.

I blushed and hugged back. I mean, it was weird enough getting text messages from _the _Fiona Coyne when she just wanted to say "hey, what's up?" but having her want to hang out with me? Yeah, I don't think I'm ever going to get used to that.

"Oh come on, Fi, let's leave the two love birds by themselves," Adam smirked.

Fiona sighed and walked over to Adam, who was already at the front door. She held onto his arm and looked back at us one last time.

"Fine, but Clare, you and I are hanging out soon," she smiled.

"Bye guys, we'll be back later," Adam waved, helping Fiona out the door and closing it shut.

Now it was just Eli and I. Alone. I blushed and bit my lips, looking over to Eli, who was smirking seductively.

"So...we have the penthouse to ourselves..." Eli started, elongating his vowels.

"And they won't be back for several hours..." I murmured back, smirking.

Eli wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and pulled my hand up to our room.

**oooooooooo**

We both gasped and groaned, falling down on the bed parallel to each other facing the ceiling. I closed my eyes and sighed in glee.

"Soooo, Clare...are you up for another round?"

"Mmm...I'm so tired though."

"I know, my _skills _tend to have that effect on people. So...yes or yes?"

"Maybe later. Let me rest for a second."

"Please? I'll make it worth your while."

"Eli, my wrists hurt and I already fell of the bed twice!"

"...I could ask Alli and Drew if they wanna join us when they come back!"

"No! Please do not!'

"...Fine. We'll play Guitar Hero later, but I will not be surrendering my throne as king of rock because my guitar was malfunctioning!"

"Uh-huh. Yeah, that's exactly what happened, Eli."

"Woman, don't use that sarcasm with me!"

I giggled and glomped him, the guitar on his torso jabbing uncomfortably at my stomach but I didn't care. Eli let go of me to remove the guitar impatiently from around his neck and surprised me by glomping me. I smiled and allowed him to pull me into him, brushing his lips against my cheek sweetly.

"Oh my god, Eli and Clare are making babies!" Drew's booming voice suddenly exclaimed.

I jumped at the sudden intrusion and we both looked up from our completely innocent hug to look at Adam, Drew, and Alli staring at us with sarcastic, yet amused faces. Eli groaned something inaudible and threw a pillow at them, which was easily dodged. Adam and Drew ran over to us and jumped on us, making us gasp laugh at their sudden child-ish behaviors.

"Hey! My Clare-bear is still there, idiots! Stop suffocating her in that weird excuse of a hug!" Alli exclaimed, pulling on my foot from below the two boys.

I finally managed to get away from the three rowdy boys and sighed, smiling as Alli fixed my bangs for me.

"You guys! Did you forget the reason why we came back for Eli and Clare?" Alli asked, crossing her arms.

"Oh yeah!" Drew said, laying down next to the two boys. "Dude, the audition is in a few minutes so we better get going."

Eli nodded in acknowledgment and covered his face with his hands. "Does JJ already know how many people signed up?"

"No, we'll only know once we get to the theatre," Adam said, getting up and helping up the other two boys.

I bit my lip and looked at Alli meaningfully. She raised a black eyebrow and tilted her head in confusion. I really didn't want to say anything, but I felt like I was intruding. Well, that Alli and I were intruding. As the three boys fixed their jackets and jeans, they made their way out of the room with Alli and I behind them. As they walked out of the door, I stayed inside, hesitant. Adam stopped and looked back, smiling incredulously.

"What's up, Clare?" he asked, confused.

"I...well, is it weird that Alli and I are always with you guys?" I asked.

Adam scrunched his eyebrows together and came up to me. "What are you talking about?"

"We always go with you guys to Proxemics events when we really have nothing to do with it. Is that weird? I mean, we're going to an audition as 'judges' and we don't even..." I stopped, hoping Adam would give me the answer.

He sighed and put his arm around me, walking me towards the door. "Clare, you are a key component to Proxemics. If it wasn't for you, Fitz probably would've gotten his way and successfuly kicked out Eli. Plus, you've made him exceptionally inspired, in every sense, so why shouldn't you come? And Alli...well, she definitely brings out Drew's musical side. So I don't see why you even have this in your head," he said, closing the door behind him and led me into the limo.

"So let's head on out, Proxemics+singer's girlfriend+drummer's girlfriend," Adam teased.

After a few minutes in the limo, we finally arrived to a crowded theatre in a busy street. I looked outside the window and gawked at what seemed like an endless line of male guitarists. There were punk guitarsists, chill guitarists, indifferent guitarsists, grunged-down guitarsists, ecstatic guitarists, you name it. I heard Eli scoff in annoyance when the papparazzi came into view; there were a lot of different television stations and magazine reporters interviewing some of the guitarists waiting outside. After the whole "unstable" scandal, one could only imagine that reporters were trying to get the dish on the guitarists.

"Is there no way to avoid this, JJ?" Eli asked, groaning and covering his eyes with his hand.

"Unfortunatley not. We could go through the back, but the papparazzi are still going to be there questioning," JJ sighed, going through his phone for emails.

The limo headed to the back area of the theatre, which was already crowded with fans and papparazzi. JJ was the first to get out, hoping that would delude the hectic reporters. I could already hear the questions they were asking him, and I knew it was going to get pretty intense when Eli went out.

"Don't worry guys, I'll distract them for you," Eli smirked.

He touched my hand with his fingers, slowly interlacing them with mine. I smiled as our rings touched and wondered if the butterflies would ever go away; I hoped they never would. Eli went in front of me, helping me out. I was instantly bombarded with lights and microphones, making me feel suffocated.

"Elijah, how does it feel to have hundreds of people waiting to audi-"

"Do you feel that you've let down your fans with the sca-"

"Is it true that you're completely derange-"

"Clare, how does it feel to date a mentally unstable-"

I sighed as Eli tightened our fingers and pushed through the crowd, securities widening the space between the crowd and us. The door became visible and I smiled. JJ opened the door for us and started to lead us through when suddenly, I stopped and turned to the crowd.

"I will have you know that _Elijah_ does not have anger or mental issues, he has simply been through hard times like any hard working person would. If anything, you should be going after Mark Fitzgerald with this. So there," I stated firmly, smiling confidently before walking into the backstage of the theatre with the rest of the band.

Alli came up to me and hugged me. "Clare, you are one brave cookie," she said, laughing at me.

"Wow, Edwards, I didn't think you had it in you," Eli smirked, pulling my hand lightly.

I blushed and allowed him to lead me to the stage, where we walked down and went to the front row of the dim auditorium. There was already a table set up in the front of us with individual laptops for notes, a clipboard of all of the entries, and a microphone for Eli. Alli and I took the seats behind Eli and Drew in the second row and snuggled into the red cushioned seats.

"Alright boys, let's see what we got...wait, how many guitarists are outside?" Eli asked, looking up to JJ, who was standing in front of him.

"We have roughly 348 guitarists in line as we speak and more signing up..." JJ smiled sympathetically.

My jaw dropped and the boys groaned in unison. Adam picked up the list and flipped through the many names.

"Each guitarist has a number attached to their shirt and you'll be able to mark down if you want to accept, deny, or defer for later judgment. We have a lot of security in the front that already filtered out the flunkies and are monitoring the situation. Just call Jasper, he's the one in charge of security. I'm gonna be in the back watching movies with Derek and blocking out the sound of overly-confident and obnoxiously loud guitarists. Good luck, Proxemics," JJ grinned, walking away.

"Wow!" Drew called out, playing with the pen in front of him.

"Alright guys, we have to look for three things: quality of sound, raw talent, and quality of appearance. We don't want some prep to be our new guitarist. He has to be able to play with precision, learn fast, and look the part," Eli said as the other two nodded.

"Let's get this show on the road! Jasper, bring in guitarist number_ one_."

Alli and I groaned, pouting. This was going to be a very, very, very long day.

It was pretty fun at first, watching as the different variety of guys came in and rocked out to the best of their abilities.

"Alright, guitarist number 87. What are you gonna play for us?"

"I'm gonna play the secondary guitar to your song Hit the Lights, which is beyond wicked!" guitarist number 87 exclaimed, looking awestruck to be in front of Proxemics.

"Thank you, it's one of our favorites too. That's the hardest solo the secondary guitar has to play, let's see what you got," Eli smiled.

None of them were very good, however. They were either too nervous or just had a bad day, but there was no room for messing up with the reputation Proxemics already had. By the time we reached 150, Alli and I were already cringing by the insanely wild guitar solos and hard chords. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Proxemics and rock...but to a certain extent. The boys were pretty upset, too. Adam wasn't even trying anymore, he would scratch them out when they first showed their face on the stage. Drew and Eli were a little more tolerant and really took them into consideration, even if they started to get annoyed with the compliments and amateur playing.

"Guitarist number 258, proceed."

"Oh my god, man, you guys are _legendary! _I mean, you're ju-"

"Yes, yes, very kind of you. So you're gonna play for us?"

Unchallenging pieces caused disinterest.

Cut that.

Intimidation caused messy fingers and loss of beat.

Scratch that.

About four hours later, we went through about 400 guitarists, achingly slow. When it was all done and over, Alli and I peaked over Eli's shoulder and looked at the list. I bit my lip and sighed; no one. Out of the 400 guitarists that auditioned today, not one of them could take Fitz's place. Adam groaned and closed his eyes, resting his head on the back of the seat.

"Well, that was a fail," Drew groaned.

"I'm just glad it's over! They were hurting my ears!" Alli exclaimed, rubbing her ears.

"No one came close," Eli agreed, going through his notes of possible considerations.

"Hey, what about number 312? That's the one I had put down," Drew said, showing Eli.

"Yeah, I had him too, but he has a trained talent, not a raw one. The four of us already had music in us and that's what made Proxemics so successful. If we put him in, it'll just ruin our mojo," Eli sighed.

JJ walked in and studied their faces carefully. "No one?"

"Nope. We're doomed," Adam groaned.

"Well, I have a visitor for you," JJ said, motioning in someone from behind the stage.

We all looked up with tired eyes and smiled when we saw Fiona Coyne walk in, all fresh and sparkly. Fiona waved at us and leaned over the table to kiss Adam on the lips softly. I looked away, embarrassed, and smiled. At least her sparkle could cheer us up a little bit.

"Hey guys and girls, how's it going?" Fiona asked, her hands on her hips.

"Gahhhhhhh," the boys groaned.

"I'm guessing there was no one?" she asked.

"There is no one that could take Fitz's place..." Adam smiled sadly, ironically.

Fiona's eyes widened. "What? Are you serious? Well that's no good."

"Tell me about it! This is a complete disaster," Eli said, leaning his head back on the seat.

He looked up at me and smiled tiredly, and I smiled back, running my fingers through his hair soothingly.

"Well...would you be open to one more guitarist?" Fiona asked tentatively.

"Someone you know?" Adam asked.

"Yeah, my brother Declan. He's kind of a closet guitarist. Trust me, he's really good. I've heard him play sometimes and he sounds like something you'd like; do you want me to call him for you?" Fiona asked, taking out her purple phone.

Everyone looked at Eli, who was currently under my manipulating touch. He smirked, his eyes closed. "Yeah, sure. What's one more guitarist?"

Fiona smiled triumphantly and called her brother, walking away in her amazingly beautiful high heels to talk to her brother. A few minutes later she came back and sat down next to Adam.

"He's coming. He'll be here in like five minutes, promise," Fiona smiled, kissing Adam's cheek.

Everyone soon feel into a light conversation as we waited, everyone doing their own thing. I removed my fingers from Eli's soft hair and tapped Alli on the shoulder. "Hey, do you remember that one guy who looked a lot like our sub in French?"

"Oh my god, yes! Oh, and that guy with the weird side-burns," Alli laughed, flipping her hair.

"Excuse me?" Eli interrupted, looking up at me. "Who said you could stop playing with my hair?"

I glared playfully and ran my fingers through his bangs. "You know, sometimes I think I spoil you too much," I giggled.

"Mmm, you got me," Eli smirked, closing his eyes under my touch.

Suddenly, we heard footsteps come closer.

"Fiona?" someone called out.

Fiona's eyes lit up and she removed herself from Adam's lap, standing up and going to the edge of the stage. "Declan, over here!"

Eli lifted his head from my fingers as we all saw a boy walk onto the stage with a black electric guitar around his neck. Alli and I gasped as we took in his appearance; he had dirty blonde hair that fell over his beautiful eyes, a sexy smirk (not as sexy as Eli's, though), a blue button-down, and dark jeans. He was...really handsome. The Coyne's really were graced with beauty.

Declan smiled and approached the edge of the stage, looking at Eli, Drew, and Adam.

"Wow, Proxemics. Hi, I'm Declan Coyne. My sister said you were looking for a guitarist?"

"Yeah, we are. We auditioned 400 and we had no luck, so give us your best," Eli said, leaning back and crossing his leg in a '4' shape.

Declan nodded and was given the cord by Jasper, connecting it to his black guitar. He cleared his throat and then all of a sudden, there was an explosion of insanely fast notes all together. My eyes widened and I got goosebumps as I watched his fingers move inhumanly fast on the neck of the guitar. It was impressive, the way he could keep up such a fast beat and hit everything perfectly. No one had done that in the audition. After a few minutes of awe-inducing solo music, he stopped and looked up.

"Holy-..." Drew gasped.

"Tell him to play Fitz's solo in Hit the Lights," Adam whispered.

My smile widened and my heart fluttered at the possibility.

"Are you familiar with the secondary guitar solo of our song Hit the Lights?" Eli asked.

"Yeah, it's a monster, I only know a little bit of it. It's a little rough though," Declan grinned.

"It's okay, we just wanna see something," Eli said through the microphone, leaning on the table to listen closely.

Declan nodded and started out slow, strumming with his gold-colored pick. Then, the hard part came in. I held my breath and crossed my fingers, knowing that this was the part that everyone else messed up on. I couldn't help but gasp as he went through it perfectly, hitting every note and possibly playing it with more intensity than Fitz ever could. I was disappointed when he suddenly stopped, smiling sheepishly. Wow. If _that _was what he called rough, I couldn't even begin to imagine how it would sound once it was perfected.

"That's all I know, I'm sorry," Declan said, stretching his fingers on his sides.

Fiona looked back with a smug smile, her arms crossed. The three boys crowded together and whispered to each other for a few minutes, contemplating and arguing, until eventually, Eli stood up with the microphone in his hand.

"This is a commitment; we're going to go on a world tour this summer and we're going to have to go through intense training sessions together so that you can get the hang of the ropes Fitz used to have. There's also going to be a lot of pressure, taking over his spot. Do you think you can handle it?" Eli asked.

Declan smirked proudly. "I've been waiting to do this since I picked up a guitar. I can handle anything you throw at me."

"Well then, Declan Coyne, welcome to Proxemics."

* * *

Well? This chapter is, yet again, a transitional chapter and I'm sorry if it wasn't as dramatic as the other two before it. It is necessary, and I hope I didn't bore you too much! Please leave me your thoughts! Next chapter will finally be hot, once again. ;) Oh, and just a heads up, I think I'm going to be needing a **Beta Reader** soon. If anyone is interested, let me know.

Have a happy new year! I will see you next year ;)

**WAZAM**


	17. Point of No Return

I am so sorry for the late update! Family crisis came up and I could not write this with as much time as I wanted to.

I can't tell you how much your reviews make me giggle. I love all of the wonderful comments and support, but what I really love is your reaction. It's so funny to see what you guys actually thought was going to happen. Some of you thought it would be Declan once I mentioned Fiona, but there was a rather large number of you that thought it was going to be Sav. That was actually plan B, but I have other plans for Sav later on.

As for the Beta Reader situation, I got a fair amount of volunteers and I thank you very much! I am still considering whether I should or not, I have never really had to depend on anyone. If I do take on a Beta Reader, then it would be after Rockstar. I will definitely keep your names in mind and contact a person who I think can handle the enormity of my awfully long chapters.

**WARNING: **Here we are again! I said there was steamy, and there definitely is. Read at your own risk! It's about to get very explicit.

**Disclaimer:** I own a color-coded closet, not Degrassi. I do not own Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera or any of his songs.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Chapter 17._

As much as I loved that Fitz was replaced by a much nicer, cleaner, and infinitely more talented guitarist, I hated that he was taking all of Eli's attention!

"Clare, you have to do something about this!" Alli begged, pulling on my arm.

"Alli, what do you want me to do? Just rush through the door and disturb their rehearsal?"

"Yes!"

I sighed in exasperation, looking at the door in the penthouse that contained the loud music of the new and improved Proxemics. It has been a week since Declan Coyne was declared the new guitarist of the band, and besides the New Years celebration, the four boys have been crammed inside the music room of the penthouse in beautiful New York. It was understandable that they had to teach Declan the ropes of being in Proxemics, but seriously! It's been an entire week of complete abandonment of the girlfriends! They practically sleep in there! Alli was beyond frustrated by now, and she was being somewhat contagious. We had to go back home tomorrow and we were spending our days stuck with the luxuries of the expensive house without seeing any of the outside world!

The only time we went out this week was when Fiona offered to take us out; apparently she missed her new boyfriend just as much as missed ours. So we went out shopping and eating at cute little restaurants she was familiar with. Fiona clicked with us very well, surprisingly. My theory was that she was tired of hanging out with the girls of GCJ and their lies and she actually wanted real friends. Fiona was spoiled and sometimes selfish, but she was the sweetest friend I had ever met.

I huffed and stood up from the couch and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle from the pantry. I heard Alli's heels clink behind me.

"Clare, please go in there! You're the singer's girlfriend," Alli whined, stomping her heel on the floor.

I bit my lip and sighed, taking a sip of the water. "Okay, okay. I'll go and check in on them," I replied, hastily making my way through the kitchen.

Just as I turned the corner, I was taken by surprise when I hit a tall, unfamiliar mass. I gasped and dropped my closed water bottle on the floor, my eyes wide with apology as I looked up. My cheeks flushed and my stomach flipped with nervous butterflies as Declan Coyne bent down smoothly and retrieved my water bottle, handing it to me with a sly smirk.

"I-I'm so sorry, Declan, I was in a hurry and I didn't-"

"Hey, it's no big deal. It happens to everyone," Declan grinned, his deep blue eyes glinting with light.

I took the bottle from his hands and looked down, feeling my cheeks flush even more. I cleared my throat and shifted my weight, trying to regain my posture.

"So does this mean that you guys are done practicing?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, my fingers are pretty much on fire right now. I think that means I need a break, don't you think?" Declan chuckled, apparently enjoying my embarrassment.

I smiled shyly and peeked up at him, surprised that he was staring at me intently. His blue orbs bored into mine and I suddenly felt my stomach drop with the intensity. What was this weird feeling? It was like I wanted to continue talking to him, but something in the back of my mind was telling me that this wasn't a good idea. I played with the top of my water bottle and tried to settle down the rush of adrenaline that ran through my body.

"So...Elijah Goldsworthy's girlfriend, huh?" he asked nonchalantly.

I glanced up at him momentarily. "Yeah..."

"Hmm, you don't seem like you'd be into the 'tortured soul' kind of guy," Declan commented, smirking and crossing his arms.

I scoffed playfully and crossed my arms defensively, raising an eyebrow. "Okay, number one: Eli is not a tortured soul, he's simply brilliant and misunderstood. Number two: how would you know what my type is?"

Declan's eyes smoldered, making me gulp inaudibly. "Because, I look like I could be your type," he stated simply.

I gasped slightly and stared in disbelief. He was not even slightly fazed by the fact that he was hitting on his band mate's girlfriend! I blushed under his intense stare and just wanted to hide away. These advances were completely unwanted, and completely immoral! I don't care if he's attractive or has the most amazing blue eyes I've ever seen, this was unnecessary! I needed to find an excuse to get away, it was gnawing at me! Where was Eli when I needed-

"Hey Alli, where's Clare?" I heard Eli's voice ask in the kitchen.

"Oh, I think she went that way. So where's Drew?"

I sighed in relief and looked up at Declan, who lifted his eyebrows smoothly. I scoffed and backed up a little bit, the image of a progressing good friend completely shattering before my very eyes. I jumped when I felt two arms wrap around my stomach from behind, still in deep thought, but I smiled joyfully when Eli's scent filled my senses.

"Hey, baby blue," Eli breathed in my ear, kissing my cheek lightly.

"Baby blue?" I giggled, forgetting about Declan's presence and resting my arms on his. "That one's new."

"Mhmm, I'm feeling a big creative today," he chuckled. "Oh hey, Declan. Didn't see you there."

Declan stuffed his hands in his pockets and smiled sharply. "Yeah, I was just getting to know Clare a little more, seeing as how we're all gonna be spending time together."

I pursed my lips and glared slightly, wanting to call him out and have Eli punch him in the face. Declan glanced back at me and I saw a flicker of a challenge in his eyes, but then it disappeared as quickly as it appeared and he turned back to Eli.

"Well if you don't mind, I'd like to spend time with my girlfriend now," Eli said, a little darker.

Declan nodded his head and turned on his heel to the other side and walked away. I felt Eli relax around me and turned me in his arms so that I was facing him. I smiled sweetly when I took in his messy appearance. He certaintly had been working too hard. His hair was sticking up on end, his intense green eyes were half-lidded, and his clothes were crinkled. He smirked when I reached up and fixed his bangs with my fingers before wrapping my arms around his neck.

"So, what do you think of Declan? Does he fit the profile?" I asked.

Eli's face was blank. "Yeah, he's a very good guitarist and he's learning very fast. I don't like the way he looks at you."

Oh, so he noticed.

"Well...don't let that get in the way of music. It's probably nothing, okay? No more drama," I said, really just wanting everything to go away.

He growled and reluctantly nodded. "You're right, I just don't like it...but I think it's just the music getting to my head. We're done for now."

So you're finally free to spend time with me? No more music?" I asked, hope lacing in my voice.

"Oh I know, I know. I'm sorry, I've been ignoring you, haven't I?" Eli asked, wincing playfully.

I smirked sheepishly. "Just a little bit. I have to be home tomorrow, you know..."

Eli lifted an eyebrow. "Already?"

"Yeah, I start my last semester of high school on Monday and I have to be home by Sunday," I pouted.

"Who cares about school? You're a rock star now! Why don't you just stay here with me and I'll teach you all you need to know," Eli winked, leaning down to kiss my lips.

I smiled in the kiss, enjoying finally having all of Eli's undivided attention. "You know I can't do that, Eli. I can't live in this fantasy world forever; I have to go back to reality," I said against his lips.

"But I hardly got to see you this week!" he complained.

"Well, who's fault is that?" I retorted, placing my hands on his chest.

Eli sighed and tightened his arms around me. "Okay how about this? We'll spend the entire day doing whatever you want, to make it up to you," he said, running his hands up and down my back.

I lifted my gaze and hummed, considering his offer. "Take me to see Phantom of the Opera," I grinned, knowing he would hate it.

I laughed when Eli scrunched his nose in disgust and shook his head. "Isn't there anything else you wanna do?"

"Nope! You never took me to a musical or opera, so that's my condition," I said.

After a few seconds of though, he smirked. "Alright, but then we're doing whatever I want at night. Deal?"

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion but nodded either way. "Deal! So at what time are we going?"

"I guess I should be happy that you didn't pick something overly girly. At least the Phantom has dark and twisted scenes; I will definitely have fun watching the Phantom corrupt her innocence," he grinned sinisterly and wiggled his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, let's go get tickets."

"Ah-ah! First, I'm going to buy you a new dress."

"Eli, you've already bought me so many dresses! Why do you need to buy me another one?"

"_Because_ if you're going to be mine tonight, I need you to be...dressed for the occassion."

Oh my.

**oooooooooo**

"The opera was absolutely amazing! I'm so glad we actually went to see it," I gushed as Eli opened the door of the house for me.

"As much as I hate to admit it, the opera was mildly entertaining," Eli agreed, closing the door and turning on the lights.

I walked further into the house and looked around, finding no sign of anyone in the house. I went inside the kitchen and found a note on the kitchen island.

_'ELI & CLARE,_

_WE'RE ALL OUT DANCING AT THE NEW CLUB NEAR CENTRAL STATION. CALL US UP IF YOU WANNA JOIN US. (even though you probably won't...wink wink)_

_DON'T WRECK THE HOUSE WHILE WE'RE GONE, ALLI+PROXEMICS'_

I laughed, blushing slightly as I handed the note to Eli. He chuckled and stepped out of the kitchen, taking the note with him. I took off my coat and placed it on a chair, leaving me in a back-less cream dress that fit my curves perfectly. Eli seriously was spoiling me; he bought me jewelry and shoes to match as well. I still asked him not to, but there was no stopping him once he had his mind set on something. So I just went with the flow.

"So Clare, you ready for my shift?" Eli asked from another room.

"Yes, bring it on Mr. G-"

The lights flickered, and turned off.

I gasped and clung to the cool material of my dress. I called out for Eli, but he didn't respond. I bit my lip and went for the light switches of the kitchen, but was surprised when they didn't click on again. I tilted my head in confusion and went out to the living room, which was practically pitch black besides the light coming from the window in the kitchen.

"Eli?"

There was shuffling.

A crack.

Then silence.

I gasped and looked around, feeling a little scared of being alone like this without Eli responding to me. I called out for him again, but heard silence again. My breath hitched and I wanted the lights to turn on, now. I gasped when I saw the very dim purple lights under the stairs turn on, but nothing else. I hesitated, not sure what was going on. Eli was up to something, but I didn't know what it was. I decided to take the hint and walked up the stairs slowly, making sure I didn't trip or fall. Once I stepped on the firm ground of the second floor, I looked around to see any sign of light, but found none.

_"You have come here in pursuit of your deepest urge, in pursuit of that wish, which till now has been silent, silent..."_

It was Eli...

He was singing to me; it was faint, but I heard it. That song sounded awfully familiar. Where was it from? It wasn't one of his songs. I walked blindly forward, trying to follow the sound of his voice. I sighed in relief when I saw a flickering light under the crack of a door in the very end of the hallway. I made my way to it and opened it softly, peeking my head inside. My eyes widened as I stepped in the room and closed the door.

The room was a maroon red with dark wooden furniture and exotic black decorations. It smelled of leather and wood, and the candles that lit the room gave it an unsettling atmosphere.

I gasped when two hands sprawled over my stomach and pressed me back against a hard body.

_"I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge - in your mind you've already succumbed to me dropped all defenses completely succumbed to me - now you are here with me: no second thoughts, you've decided, decided..."_

My heart fluttered and my breath hitched as I craned my neck to the side and saw Eli's face. He had a black mask on, along with (what I could see) a black cape and a suit. He was dressed like Don Juan, like in the Phantom's play, and then I realized that the dress I was wearing was a modern take on what could have been Aminta's dress. He was the corrupter, and I the corrupting. We were role-playing. Sweet Jesus, I was so turned on.

_"Past the point of no return - no backward glances: our games of make believe are at an end... Past all thought of "if" or "when" - no use resisting: abandon thought, and let the dream descend..."_

I gasped when I felt his long fingers move strongly, seductively, along my ribcage and over my breasts, the sweet contradicting temperatures making my head whirl as he brought his fingers round the nape of my neck and close to my scalp, winding my neat bun around his fingers and pulling sharply, letting my hair loose.

_"What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks its door? What sweet seduction lies before us...?"_

He brought his face down to my shoulder and gently bit, running his hands up and down the sides of my dress hotly. I gasped and let out a breathy moan, my stomach tightening in burning pleasure. His words were burning me, the way he sang so deeply, with such emotion.

_"Past the point of no return, the final threshold - what warm, unspoken secrets will we learn? Beyond the point of no return..."_

He turned my body in his arms and swooped down to steal a kiss. I moaned and let him kiss me, sweeping his tongue over my lower lip. "You are mine tonight," he murmured against my lips before he sucked on my lower lip and tugged it with his teeth, making me moan.

"But don't worry, my precious flower, I'll be gentle," Eli smirked handsomely, the mask over his face making his eyes gleam even more than usual.

My breath was very shallow and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He puts his hands on my shoulders and smoothes down, pushing the straps down with them. I turned my head to the side to watch as his lips parted, the straps of my dress falling down my arms. His eyes were blazing, and my heart was pounding loudly in my ears.

He walked to the side and grabbed my hand, his eyes never tearing from mine as he led me to the bed. My blood was pumping through my body and sending shots of pleasure, the desire pooling in my belly as I let the intensity of his gaze fill me.

"You don't know how long I've wanted you, how long I've wanted to corrupt you, to take you, to make you mine," he whispered darkly.

I gasped as I fell down on the bed, lifting myself on my elbows to take a good look at him. He was simply breath-taking; the luxurious suit, his hair combed back, the mask on his face...he was too good to be real. I couldn't take my eyes away from his face as he removed his cape simply and reached down, gently tracing his fingers over my cheek bones.

"Do you have any idea how delectable you look, my darling?" he asks seductively, his finger skimming down to my chin. The muscles of my abdomen clenched in the most delicious fashion, like never before. He leaned down and kissed me deeply, his lips smooth, slow, urgent. I felt his fingers on my side as he slowly pulled down the zipper, peeling the dress off of my body and pulling it away. Once he removed the dress from me he stood before me and eyed me up and down, making me blush and breathe heavily.

"My God…" he said breathlessly."Your skin...it's so creamy, so beautiful. I can't wait to memorize every inch of your skin with my lips."

I moaned and squirmed, wanting so desperately to feel his hands on me. He smirked and unbuttoned his shirt slowly, revealing inch by inch of his perfect skin. He removed it and tossed it next to my dress, putting a knee on the bed in between my own legs. He hovered his body over mine and ran his hands through my hair.

"Mm, I've always preferred blondes," he breathed, clenching his hand in my hair and pulling me up to kiss me deeply. I moaned breathlessly as our tongues battled for dominance, but I had to play my part. So I let him kiss me, let his tongue explore my cavern. Eli wrapped his free arm around me and pulled me close to him, making both of us gasp at the naked contact. The hand in my hair tightened, while the other smoothed down the length of my spine, sprawling on the small of my back and pushing up. He spread my legs with his knees and settled between them, pushing my hips up to meet his. I felt his erection, pushing into my hips. Oh my...

I moaned and moved to touch him, but he brought his hand down and pushed it away. I writhed in desperate need, not wanting to wait anymore. I could hardly contain these riotous feelings that were running through me. I want him. He removed his lips from mine and trailed them down my neck, to my chest. He ran his tongue down and around my navel, nipping and sucking until he reached my hips.

"Eli..." I breathed, not wanting to be teased anymore

Suddenly, he removed himself from me and I couldn't help but groan in disapproval.

"No. Eli is not here. Understand?"

I nodded slowly, panting harshly as he narrowed his eyes. "Oh sweet naive little girl… the things I want to do to you," he breathed. "I can't wait to be inside you."

My breath hitched and I moaned at his blunt words, making me blush slightly. He undid the button of his jeans smoothly, pulling them down slowly. Once he was left in his black boxers, he slid in between my legs and hovered over me as I squirmed in satisfaction.

"Shh, be still," he murmured, as he kissed my lips softly before moving back down. He lifted my foot by the heel slowly, my heels still on them, and rubbed my ankles smoothly. Not taking his eyes off of me, he swept his tongue up the length of my long leg smoothly. I threw my head back and moaned. How was it that with a simple lick of his tongue and I was just about ready to _combust_? He chuckled darkly and kissed the inside of my thigh, trailing up until he was at the rim of my white lace panties. Oh God, I can't keep still; he's torturing me. He denied me the pleasure and moved up to my stomach, kissing and licking until he reached my chest. My skin was burning as he ripped the bra down the middle and threw it across the room.

He smirked as I gasped when he ran his thumbs over my nipples, making them harden. He blew experimentally over one of them and tweaked my other one, making me groan and arch my back into him. He brought his lips over my nipple, and I moaned out loudly. I couldn't take it, I wanted to beg and plead but I was so speechless by his ministrations. His teeth closed around my nipple and his fingers tweaked my other nipple harder, and the wetness between my legs became overwhelming.

"Please, please...I can't take it anymore," I begged.

"So eager," he chuckled, crawling over my body and kissing me deeply. I was out of breath, and my legs were tightening to relieve some of the pressure he had created. Then, I felt his hand smooth down over my hips, until he cupped me through my panties, making me freeze. He slipped his fingers into my panties and rubbed my clit with his thumb slowly.

He removed his lips from mine, my moan erupting and a gasp escaping from him.

"God...You're so wet already."

Without another word, he thrust his finger inside of me. I cried out as he thrust it in rapidly, adding another finger. Then another. I bucked my hips uncontrollably and clenched the bed sheets in my hands. Suddenly, his fingers were gone, and so were my panties. I opened my eyes and saw that his boxers were already gone as well. I blushed; he was so hard already. I looked up at his face, his mask still intact, and watched as he leaned down and pressed his naked body to mine. I gasped and we panted against each other's lips, letting the feelings consume us.

"Why won't you take off your mask?" I ask softly, reaching up for it tentatively.

He moved his face to the side. "No. I am too hideous...and you are too beautiful..."

I almost wanted to laugh at the irony of the sentence, but I remained in character.

"Please…" I begged.

He shot his face to mine again, his eyes intense. He lifted my thigh and hitched it over his hip, making me moan at the feel of his erection at my entrance."I am going to corrupt you, and you are going to enjoy every, single, second," he ordered, before slamming into me. Hard.

"Oh my god!" I cried out as I felt his hard length inside of me, pulsing.

He closed his eyes and groaned, his lips parted as he panted harshly.

"You're so tight...and you're all mine," he murmured, before he thrust into me again. I cried out as he moved fluidly inside me, thrusting with precise movements. He dropped his body on top of mine and sighed, thrusting faster and faster until I was chanting my cries of pleasure. He pounded into me, mercilessly, relentlessly with a rhythm that had my vision going white. I lifted my hips and met his thrusts, gasping and moaning as he groaned and grunted. He ran his fingers through my hair and pulled, kissing me desperately. I arched my back into his undulating body and moaned loudly when he bit my lip, hard.

When he removed his lips from mine, I became bold. I lifted my hand and removed his mask from him, watching as his eyes widened. I gasped at his beauty, and I kissed him again. I felt him shift inside of me, and that feeling in the pit of my belly started to boil. It was growing, ready to erupt any second and I wanted the feeling more than anything in the world. My muscles contracted as he thrust on and on, bringing me closer to my end. My body quivered, arching violently as one, final thrust sent me on a high of overwhelmingly pleasurable sensations. I shattered into a million pieces and cried out loudly, my inner muscles contracting against his thrusting hips tightly.

"God dammit!" he grunted before unraveling and thrusting one final time, emptying himself inside of me.

He dropped himself to my side, collecting me to him. We panted harshly, the flickering lights of the candles next to the bed lighting our sweat-sheered bodies. Once our breathing calmed, he ran his finger up and down my arm, kissing the top of my head gently.

"Clare...thank you," he whispered.

"I love you, Eli," I whispered back, kissing his bicep.

"I love you too, Clare," he replied, nuzzling closer to me.

"Hey...you know what?"

"Hmm?"

"I think it's kind of hilarious how you know the lyrics to 'Point of No Return' and I don't. Closet opera freak."

"Yeah, but it was hot."

**oooooooooo**

The worst idea ever? Having amazing, heart-stopping sex with your hot, rock star boyfriend right before having to sit through mundane classrooms Monday through Friday.

A few weeks have already gone by since New York and I already wanted to go back into his world. I used to think that Eli's world was the fantasy, but now the line was becoming blurry. I felt like this life was the fantasy, and Eli was my reality. Everything was backwards and I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way, but my attachment with him was already too deep for me to stop. For the first few days, I was actually scared of the nervous itch that wasn't there before. I didn't understand my behavior. Why was I not paying attention in class? I was thinking of Eli. Why did I mess up the dance routine in dance class? I was thinking of the beat of Proxemics music rehearsals I sometimes had the pleasure of watching on webcams after school.

It was insane, it was crazy, and it was taking me away from what used to be important to me.

I definitely knew that my priorities changed when the rumors that KC spread about me finally settled in. People stared at me differently, avoided me like the plague. I didn't understand, until I overheard someone talking about my past. I was having lunch when I overheard some girls saying that I was such a hypocrite for looking down on everyone who had sex before marriage and now I was Elijah Goldsworthy's whore.

I cried silently in the bathroom then because that's not who I was. I was someone else in the past, they had to understand that I make mistakes. They don't understand that Eli and I are special, and no one ever will. My high school reputation plummeted and it hurt like hell, but knowing that I had a life outside of high school helped me pick up the pieces again.

I was actually happy. I felt like I actually belonged somewhere and I didn't want to trade it for anything in the world. Things were going really well now. Eli was practicing a lot with the guys because of the world tour that was coming up soon. They haven't announced the world tour yet, but it was scheduled for the very beginning of June.

It was mid-February now, and I was with Alli at her house. Bringing her food from the outside world.

"Clare! I swear, my parents practically skinned me alive when I came home. I have only been able to go to school and come right back, all with their supervision. It's been two month and they're still angry with me, and Drew! They want me to break up with him," Alli complained as we sat on her bed.

I smiled sympathetically and handed her some of her favorite junk food that she was deprived of now. "Just be careful, I don't want your parents to forbid me from seeing you too," I said, making her laugh.

"They can't do that, Clare-bear, you're the only good influence I've got and they know that," Alli smiled, opening one of the chip bags and sneaking a chip. "So tell me, in the brief ten minutes we have left, what's been going on in the outside world?"

I smiled and crossed my legs on her satin bed. "Well...I got accepted to my top university today!"

Alli squealed and clapped her hands together. "Shut up! Boston?"

I nodded and smiled wide, extremely proud of my accomplishment.

"Clare that's amazing! Oh my god, I am so jealous! I haven't gotten my acceptance letters in yet, but I hope that I won't end up going too far from you," Alli said, pouting.

Just then, Sav knocked on the open door of Alli's bedroom, making us look up.

"Uh, sorry Clare, but it's 6 PM. Curfew time," Sav said.

I nodded and hugged Alli quickly before getting up and grabbing my things from the floor.

"So Clare...Alli tells me you and Elijah are really close," Sav drawled nonchalantly.

"Sav, I told you his name is Eli!" Alli interjected as I swung my bag over my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, it's just weird! So is it true that Fitz is out of the band?" he asked.

I bit my lip and nodded my head, not really wanting to say much information.

"So...are they gonna be looking for a new guitarist? Because I've been practicing and I think I could nail-"

"They already had auditions; Declan Coyne beat you to the bunch. Sorry, bro," Alli said, getting up from the bed and smiling sneakily.

Sav's jaw dropped. "What the hell, Alli! you couldn't have called me?"

My eyes widened and I bit my lip, sneaking past Sav and running down the stairs as their argument continued. I laughed at them and said bye to the Bhandari's before heading out of the household. I walked quickly to my house and went straight upstairs, turning on my computer. Once it was on, I went online into FaceRange and looked for Eli's name.

**clare-e23: **eli, guess what?

**morty-golds49: **you've decided to submit to my every will and call me Master?

**clare-e23: **...no

**morty-golds49: **darn, now I have to take back the whips and chains that I bought. nah, really, what's up?

**clare-e23: **I got accepted into my top college!

**morty-golds49: **no way! that's amazing, Clare! Boston, wow!

**clare-e23: **I know! I just can't wait to get out of high school

**morty-golds49: **well, I'm still gonna ask. how's school?

**clare-e23: **boring. insignificant. wish you were here.

**morty-golds49: **weeeeeeeeell...I might have to go back to Ontario earlier than I thought.

**clare-e23: **really? what's the occasion?

**morty-golds49: **all I can say is don't think I've forgotten about your Christmas gift...I need to finish up some details and I need to go back home to do that.

**clare-e23: **oh my god Eli, you're going way over the top with this! I feel so bad that I didn't even get you anything.

**morty-golds49: **no way, baby blue, I told you I didn't want anything except you. and it's not over the top, it's just something I've been meaning to do for a long time.

**clare-e23: **and it's taking this long? why not just now?

**morty-golds49: **hey, let's not be greedy now! trust me. if you love me, you'll wait just a little more, okay? I promise it will be worth your while.

**clare-e23: **I don't doubt that it'll be worth my while, I just wish it wasn't this well thought out! you're making me look bad, goldsworthy.

**morty-golds49: **you could never look bad! you're so beautiful

I smiled and blushed, about to respond to the IM when I suddenly heard my mom call me from downstairs. "Clare, can you come down here?"

"Just a second!"

**clare-e23: **hold that thought, be right back

I swirled on my desk chair and skipped my way downstairs, making my way to the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks when I saw both of my parents in the kitchen, standing and looking quite guilty.

"Uh, what's up?" I asked suspiciously.

My mother opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it again, looking at the floor in thought. I turned to my dad and he gave me a tightened smile.

"I saw the letter, Clare-bear, I am so proud of you," he smiled, his hands on his hips.

I pinned my eyebrows together at the unenthusiastic celebration. "Thanks dad. So what's going on? You didn't' call me down here to congratulate me, did you? Because this isn't the best congratu-"

"We're finalizing the divorce, honey," my mom interjected, looking me in the eye.

My jaw dropped and I suddenly felt sick. The room went silent and I was still trying to take the news in.

"Finalizing? As in...you've talked about this without me?" I asked incredulously.

My dad bit his lip and looked down, while my mother shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair nervously.

"I'm sorry, honey."

"When?"

"We're going to wait for the summer so that you won't have to worry about living arrangements. You'll go to college and we will go our separate ways," my mom explained, confidently.

I crossed my arms and let out a deep puff of breath. I guess...it was all for the best.

* * *

Who's ready for the final chapter?

**WAZAM**


	18. The Rockstar

Well, here we are. One last time! This has certainly been one of the most successful writing projects that I have done, and I am glad that I actually convinced myself to write this. I definitely intend to go back and edit the story, seeing as how the story keeps getting bigger and has several spelling and grammar mistakes, but I will not edit the content. I have gotten a lot of people that tell me that the idea is stupid, but you know what? I proudly have over 1,100 reviews and 60,000+ hits to prove that a story doesn't have to always make sense or be realistic. Sometimes it's good to be a little unrealistic. Honestly, this story would not have been the same if it weren't for so many people out there that encouraged and supported me through the process.

**Anonymous Editor**, my best friend who wishes to remain a secret, is the one who put up with me with all of my crazy ideas and brainstorming sessions and contribute to make my ideas real; thank you for helping bring Rockstar to life.

**PavedWithBadIntentions**, for corrupting my sweet little plot and helping me further develop my work by adding very dramatic smut scenes. Without her, this story would have been very different and I owe her the world for that.

**LiteraryLolita**, did you read all those kinky smut scenes in the past chapters? Yeah, you can thank her for that. She's amazingly creative, and she completely inspires me.

**AvivaAria**, without her wonderful insights and suggestions, the detail in scenes and improvement in my writing could not have been possible. Not a lot of people actually critique my story, and I'm glad you you so much!

**OhMyChambers**, one of the only people who takes the time to actually break down every chapter and describe what was good about the chapter. She reads the careful detail that I weave with every sentence, and I am so lucky to have her as a reader. Thank you.

**Shehadastory, **this girl right here is one of the biggest Rockstar supporters I have ever met. Thank you for spreading the word and bringing more readers and for enjoying all of my crazy ideas.

**HeatherPoulette, **for never distracting me on Twitter and motivating me to write faster; she never failed to spread the word and leave me sweet reviews, thanks so much!

**Kelsey Innocent, **for sending me the most adorable Spanish reviews. She makes me smile, thank you!

**EclareVampchick, **my 1st reviewer.

**ChristyRita, **my 1,000th reviewer.

**All of my readers and reviewers,** thank you for all the alerts and favorites, the story is nothing without you. I mean that with complete sincerity, thank you.

Now without further drabbles, I give you the final chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I own Rockstar, not Degrassi

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Finale. _

Seriously? I don't think anyone has had a better senior year of high school than I had.

It was already going to be graduation in two weeks, and then I was officially out of high school, out of Degrassi. I can't believe that all of this happened in a short year: I met Elijah Goldsworthy, the most famous and handsome man of this time, got to work closely with Proxemics and became intimate friends with them, gave up my purity ring, disobeyed my parents completely, witnessed the intense life of a celebrity, stopped Proxemics from completely breaking up, spent two fabulous weeks in New York, got accepted into my top university in Boston, went through the news of my parents getting a divorce, had Eli spoil me to death over the phone and webcam to make up for it, celebrated our seven month anniversary a few days ago, and I was told that I was going to graduate as salutatorian.

To no surprise, Principle Simpson announced that Connor Deslauriers was awarded the title of valedictorian. What was really surprising was that he awarded me the title of salutatorian. I always thought it was going to be Wesley or something, but I never expected to beat him when it came to marks. It was apparently a very close race, but I had won by a decimal. I was glad that my teachers were really understanding and knew that the end of high school was supposed to be somewhat calmer. I still had work to do, but there was much more time left for planning and organizing the future. Ms. Dawes had graciously accepted to help me edit my speech during these last few days of school. It was pretty much finished, and now all I had to do was worry about graduation practices and keeping close to my friends here at Degrassi.

Opening my locker, I placed my books and binders into the neat shelf. Everything had really fallen into place, and even if it was hard to see through the people who befriended me because of my new fame, I wouldn't trade this year for anything. A habit, I looked to the door of my locker where my circular mirror hung and checked my fluffy hair. I pursed my lips and angled my face differently, examining my hair until I was satisfied with it. Then my eyes looked to the top of my mirror and I couldn't help but smile. Where the common poster of Elijah Goldsworthy used to hang was replaced by personal pictures of myself and Eli, some including the boys of Proxemics and Alli. I bit my lip as I looked at the copy of the picture in Trash and Vaudeville of Eli in concert that I was able to convince Jimmy to give me. Was it even possible to be that irresistable? God. Everytime I looked at that picture... Let's just say that everytime I looked at that picture, I had to clench my legs together to ease the tension.

Then my eyes fell on my favorite picture, the one in the center, that Alli had taken subtly on our trip to New York. We were in the red recording studio in the penthouse recording our new song, earphones over our heads and a guitar swung over Eli's shoulder. I had a shy smile on my face as I looked down at the notes in front of me, and Eli was staring at me with the most beautiful stare I had ever seen in my life. He was smirking slightly, his eyes filled with admiration and some sort of awe that was absolutely breathtaking, and his hand was outrstretched on his side, his middle and index finger lightly touching the rim of my jean pockets. It was so sweet, almost as if he couldn't stand not having some sort of connection to me. I lifted my hands and toyed with Eli's ring on my middle finger, feeling the smooth metal soothe my need to see him suddenly.

_BANG!_

I squealed softly in surprise as my locker shut closed, revealing a sinfully excited Alli in front of me.

"Clare! Guess who's having a concert here in Ontario the day of our graduation?" she exclaimed without reserve, attracting the attention of the Degrassi students walking down the hallway.

Wow. Deja vu, much?

"If I say yes, will you calm down?" I asked, smiling awkwardly at the passing niners.

"Oh! Well first, I have to give you something because I know that neither of us have gotten this yet," she said.

Alli searched her excessively large purse blindly for a few seconds before pulling out a white CD album. She handed it to me before looking into her purse. I couldn't help the grin that spread on my lips as I held the new Proxemics album _Odd Room _in my hands, the picture of the four boys insanely beautiful. I grimanced slightly when I saw Fitz on the side, but ignored it, turning it and scanning the list of songs that included the one Eli and I had done. I looked up when I was finished and Alli already had a magazine in her hands. She lifted it until it was within eye range, squealing as I tried to become familiar with the blurry words. I took it from her and moved it away so I could read what she had given me.

**'PROXEMICS WELCOMES THEIR NEWEST GUITARIST: DECLAN COYNE'**

I smiled as a picture of the new band was shown along with information on Declan and how it happened, nothing that I didn't already know of. Alli got frustrated with me and pointed to the next page. My eyes widened as I saw the Proxemics logo attached to a large font that read:

**'PROXEMICS: WORLD TOUR 2011'**

I noticed that they already had the list of cities they were going to perform at and the dates. I read down the list and marveled at all of the beautiful places they were going to go see! Europe, Asia, even some of Africa! I found no new meaning in this, however, and quirped an eyebrow at Alli. She stared dully and pointed to the very first city Proxemics was going to go to, and I gasped when the first city that I read was "Ontario, Canada" with the date of our graduation.

"Oh my god, they're kicking off their world tour _here_? For our graduation!" I exclaimed, shaking the magazine in my hands. "Eli told me the tour was going to be in the summer, but he didn't tell me he was coming here!"

"I know! Proxemics is actually going to have a concert here!" Alli agreed, shaking her head dramatically.

For some reason, I wasn't surprised when a crowd of people suddenly came towards us and started bothering us with questions that included:

"CAN YOU GET US BACKSTAGE PASSES?"

"DECLAN IS SO HOT, I LIKE HIM BETTER! WHAT IS HE LIKE?"

"I HAVE TO GO! MAYBE I'LL HAVE ENOUGH LUCK TO GET WITH DECLAN! Since everyone else is already taken..."

"I DON'T CARE IF THEY'RE TAKEN, I LOVE ELIJAH FOREVER!"

Twitch.

"Guys, some room? We can't pull any strings, okay?" I grit, pushing my way through the mob along with Alli as we made our way to the front of the school.

Alli snickered and bumped her hips with mine as we walked outside. "It's funny how the roles have changed, eh, Clare-bear?"

I rolled my eyes and held onto the strap of my bag. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

We laughed and made our way back to our houses, conversing over what was going to happen. I was certainly going to call Eli today and confirm that the magazine wasn't a hoax, but I doubt it was. So Alli and I were already talking about what would happen that day two weeks from now: we had to pick out a dress, put on our caps and gowns, sit through two painful hours of name calling, I would say my salutatorian speech, throw our hats in the air, say good-bye to all of our friends and our high school years, and then change and run to the stadium to see Proxemics. Alli and I weren't worried about tickets anymore because we knew that there was no way we couldn't get tickets.

Once I reached home, I quickly went inside and closed the door behind me. I greeted my mom, who was currently reading a book on the couch, and walked upstairs into my room. My fingers typed furiously on my laptop until my FaceRange IM account came up. My eyes scanned the names of people until I finally found Eli.

**clare-e23: **WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO KICK OFF YOUR CONCERT HERE? ON MY GRADUATION DAY? :D

**morty-golds49: **Hi Eli, how are you? Fine Clare, thanks for asking.

I pouted and giggled. I'm glad he hasn't changed a bit.

**clare-e23: **Hi.

**morty-golds49: **Oh hello! I didn't see you there.

I threw my head back and laughed in disbelief. Seriously? We're going to do this now.

**clare-e23: **Would you please answer the question?

**morty-golds49: **Fine fine, I'll stop teasing you. Yes we're going to start off in Ontario. I figured: Clare is already walking from high school as number two of her class, why not celebrate with a rock concert?

**clare-e23: **I am so excited! Do you need me to buy a ticket or...?

**morty-golds49: **When have I ever let you pay for anything?

**clare-e23: **...Never

**morty-golds49: **So what makes you think I'm going to let you buy now? You'd be doing me the favor of going, not the other way around! I'll get you and Alli tickets, of course.

**clare-e23: **Well thank you Eli :) When are you going to get here?

**morty-golds49: **All you have to know is that I will be there on your graduation day, okay? ;)

**clare-23: **Alright, Mr. Mysterious.

**morty-golds49: **Mhmm. So I have to finish rehearsing right now, but I'll call you later?

**clare-e23: **Yeah okay! I love you Eli :)

**morty-golds49: **And I you, baby blue ;)

_MORTY-GOLDS49 has signed off. _

I smiled and put my music on shuffle on my computer, texting Alli if she wanted to help me pick out my dress for graduation later. I brought my legs up on the chair and crossed them, leaning back and listening to our song, "If It Means A Lot To You." I took out the draft of my speech and sighed, wondering when the time passed me by and how much more was ahead of me.

**oooooooooo**

"...Thank you, family and friends, for being here tonight and for listening attentively. As for my fellow graduates, I wish you all the best of luck in your lives. I love all of you and I will never forget the Degrassi class of 2011. Thank you for all of the memorable years."

I smiled under the spotlight as the audience clapped, the barrett of my cap hanging on the side of my face. Principal Simpson came up to me and smiled, turning the barrett to the other side, signifying my graduation. With one last look at the audience, I began to walk off stage to go back to my seat to continue with the ceremony. Holding onto my papers, I sighed shakily as I disappeared behind the curtains. I was taken aback when I heard slow claps coming from in front of me. I looked up at the figure in front of me and smiled wide when I saw Adam wearing a black suit.

"Adam! What are you doing here?" I asked, running up to hug him tightly.

"Several reasons, but I should probably make this fast since you have to go back in there," Adam said, eyeing Principal Simpson as he continued the ceremony.

"Well I'm already graduated technically, all the teachers just have to say their good-bye speeches or something. So what's up?" I asked.

Adam nodded and looked at me warmly. "Once you throw your hats up in the air or whatever it is you do, bring Alli in the park in front of school next to the benches, I have something to give you two."

"Okay, I'll tell her," I smiled and quickly ran back out.

The rest of the ceremony went by and once Principal Simpson announced our graduating class, we threw our caps into the air and clapped loudly. Once they were all on the ground I pouted. Now how was I going to find my cap? As most of the Degrassi class of 2011 hugged each other and smiled, I was looking for the cap I paid money for. Wow, this was pretty much the worst idea of all time. Alli came up to me and already had her cap and mine in hand, quirking an eyebrow.

"Figures. I knew you'd be looking for your cap so I did you the favor. Now hug me!" Alli squealed, bringing me into a tight hug.

I smiled and hugged her back, enjoying the glow of our friendship. We separated and took pictures with our friends, said good-bye to everyone. Even though I was still angry with KC for what he had done, I still congraduated him and gave him a quick hug. It was probably the last time I would see them anyway, so I might as well leave on a good note. We rejoined our families and exchanged words before I met up with Alli again in the front.

"Alli, Adam is here. He wants to give us something," I whispered into her ear.

She nodded and excused herself, letting me pull her into the park that Adam had told me to go into. I found him sitting on a lone park bench, large bouquets of flowers in his hand. Alli awed, which caught his attention. he instantly stood up and smiled, approaching us.

"Congradulations, little ladies," Adam said, hugging the two of us.

Once he let us go, Adam smiled and handed each of us a large bouquet of a colorful assortment of flowers. "Proxemics and I want to congradulate you on your graduation. We're all very sorry that we couldn't come all together, but it would have been way too big of a distraction from the actual stars of the ceremony," he said.

I sniffed the flowers and giggled at the "congrats!" card along with everyone's signature. Alli smiled and read the card as I looked down and noticed I had a Proxemics ticket attached to the stems of the flowers. Alli noticed them too, and she squealed, hugging Adam again.

"So they sent you to come? Why couldn't Drew and Eli come? They're the one that's supposed to be risking a mob of fangirls, not you," Alli said as she examined her ticket.

Adam cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, so you don't want me here? Wow!"

"No, we love you to death, Adam! I'm just sorry you had to risk your personal space for us," I smiled sympathetically, holding the flowers close.

"Well Eli _was _supposed to be the one to come, but...well, he had stuff to do and asked me to come instead. He did tell me to give you this flower for you because he's so cliche," Adam rolled his eyes, handing me a single red rose witha note.

I smiled and opened the note, reading his script:

_Clare,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't go to your ceremony, I'm sure your speech was amazing! I promise I will make it up to you tonight. The reason I didn't go was because there have been a lot of things on my mind, and I really don't know how to approach it anymore... Meet me backstage before the concert?_

_Eli_

I pinned my eyebrows together at his unusual writing style. My stomach dropped at the almost...cold words he wrote. Alli read over my shoulders and hummed curiously, also noting the curious words. I looked up at Adam for information, but he was avoiding my gaze. I instantly knew something was wrong.

"Adam..." I started, worry in my voice.

"Look, I promised him I wouldn't tell. Please don't bring me into this," Adam said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Fine, just tell me...is he breaking up with me?" I asked desperatley.

Adam scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Eli? That lovesick puppy dog? Break up with you? No, he wouldn't. It's nothing bad, I promise," he said.

I sighed in relief and nodded, now anxious to go to the concert.

"Well I have to go prepare with the guys at the theater. See you girls in an hour?" Adam said, looking at his watch.

"Yeah, for sure. Come on Clare, let's take off these hideous gowns and get bedazzled!" Alli said, taking my wrist and pulling me away from the park.

I waved good-bye and followed her back to the ceremony where our parents were waiting. Luckily, I already had everything I needed in the back of my mom's car so I just took it and went with Alli and Sav in the Bhandari-mobile to their house. Once we got there, we changed into the new dresses we bought and did each other's make-up. Yes, we did each other's make-up. As in, I actually mastered the art of applying make-up enough so that Alli asked me to do her make-up. Yeah, I'm pretty awesome.

An hour later, we were all dressed up and ready to go. I had on a gray silk dress that fell to my mid-thigh and hugged my torso, intricate bracelets and bangls on my right wrist, and some platform sandles with flowers on the side. My hair was down and curled as usual, and my make-up had a slight smokey tint to it that made my eyes stand out. It was the perfect mix of cute and sexy. Alli had a hot pink dress with a jewled patterns that fell to her mid-thighs, black high heels, long necklaces, and curls in her long black hair. We both examined ourselves in the mirror and agreed:

We looked just as hot as the irresistable rockstars we were dating.

Once we were ready to go, Alli pulled over a long coat to hide from her parents and we quickly went out the door with Sav, who also got tickets to go. Sav drove us to the theatre, which was aleady packed with Proxemics fans. Once we found a parking spot at the very back, we walked towards the large crowd of people waiting outside to get into the theatre. We looked up and marveled at the large Proxemics logo at the top with the new photo shoot of the four boys: Eli in the center, surrounded by Drew, Adam, and Declan wearing black and gold military jackets: their new signature.

Alli took out her camera from her purse and smiled sadly at me. "For old times sake?"

I couldn't help but smile widely at her statement as we turned our backs to the poster and took our picture with the Proxemics sign on top of us. We squealed and hugged each other once before looking back at the crowd.

"I'm so excited that I'm finally going to watch Proxemics live in concert!" Sav exclaimed, pumping his fist and grinning widely.

"Ha! A little late, bro..." Alli coughed, making Sav glare playfully.

"I'll see you guys in a while, Eli asked me to meet him backstage before the show," I said, while Alli nodded and followed Drew to skip the long line while I walked to the back of the theatre.

Once I reached the back door, I saw Derek and a lot of men surrounding the door to the back. He smiled and greeted me before I could even say anything and told them to let me pass, opening the door backstage. I smiled and walked inside, clutching my purse as my eyes adjusted to the dark stage. The opening band was playing loudly on the stage as I made my way through the busy prop-movers to find try and find Proxemics, but more importantly, find Eli. I reached the side of the stage and smiled when I saw the four males in black military suits prepping their instrunments and stretching.

Declan was the first to see me; his eyes widened before he smirked knowingly and winked. My face was blank, not wanting to resond to any of his suggestive facial expressions and ruin my mood. Drew followed Declan's gaze and grinned widely, hitting Eli on the arm hard.

"Ouch! Drew, what the-?" Eli complained before following their gaze to me.

His eyes widened and a grin creeped on his lips as he instantly ran towards me. I smiled and welcomed him with open arms as he enveloped me in his arms, lifting me from the ground and twirling me softly. I giggled and burried my face in his neck, enjoying being in his arms once again.

"Hey, baby blue. I'm so happy you could make it," he whispered, kissing my neck tenderly before lifting his head to gaze into my eyes.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything. Not like you would at my graduation," I teased playfully.

He frowned and looked down, his thumbs carressing my lower back. "I'm so sorry I couldn't go, did you get my flower?"

"Yes, Adam gave it to me. I quickly jumped to conclusions and assumed that you wanted to break up with me, but I don't think that's the case. Right?" I asked cryptically.

He narrowed his eyes and chuckled. "Now why would I want to do that? You always butter me up with hugs and kisses, I wouldn't give that up," he teased.

I smirked and looked to the side of him, where the opening band just walked backstage and left the stage unoccupied and waiting for Proxemics.

"So what were you going to tell me?" I asked, looking into his deep green eyes.

He took a deep breath and tightened his arms around me. "Well...I'm going to give you your Christmas present," he smirked seductively, giving me chills.

"Oh?" I asked, linking my fingers together behind his neck.

"Mhmm. Are you ready for it?" he asked.

I giggled and hummed in thought, before nodding. "Yup, I'm pretty sure I've been ready since December."

He chuckled and looked down momentarily. "Okay. Well for starters, there's two parts to your Christmas present. I'll give you the first one now, but it's completely up to you if you want it or not," he started as I watched carefully. "So I have not been completely honest...after our trip to New York, I made a short stop here in Ontario for a couple of days," he said.

"Okay. Doing what?" I asked, not knowing where he was going with this.

He inhaled sharply and searched my eyes, his lips parted as he breathed. "While you were at school, I went over to your house and I had a rather long talk with your parents..."

My eyes widened in surprise and I bit my lip at the thought of having Eli in my house, sitting down in my kitchen table talking with my parents like that was normal...I heard the stage director tell Proxemics head to the stage, but Eli didn't budge.

"As you know, Proxemics is going to go on world tour in the next two months. At first I was absolutely thrilled with the idea, but then I realized that I wasn't going to see you at all for two months and have almost no contact because of the scattered service they have in the other continents. So basically..." he trailed off.

I tilted my head to the side, my heart beating rapidly as I started to come to the conclusion of what he was asking me. I was so nervous, I could feel myself tremble! If he was going to ask me to go with him, I was going to be the happiest girl in the entire world.

"...I talked to your parents about it, and after a lot of convincing, they agreed and left it to you. So I was wondering if...perhaps you would like to go on a world tour with me this summer?" he asked, gazing into my eyes lovingly.

I squealed and jumped in his arms, hugging him tightly to me. "Of course I would! Eli, oh my gosh! This is the best present I've ever gotten!" I sighed, taking in the scent that was Eli.

Eli let me go slightly and kissed my lips. "You're the best present I've ever gotten, baby blue."

I smiled at his smooth lines and kissed his cheek. "So I'm gonna go to my seat now, okay? I'm sure you're going to do great!" I said, moving to leave but he held onto my wrist.

"Actually...I was wondering if you could watch from backstage. I still have to give you the second part of your present," he said, lifting his eyebrows at his request.

"Can't you just tell me now?" I asked curiously.

He bit his plump bottom lip and avoided my gaze, jittering in his place. "Uh...no, not yet. I have to go to the stage now. Wait for me," he said, before quickly turning on his heels and ran to the now dark stage, the loud roar of the crowd screaming their names in anticipation.

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion to his reaction, but nevertheless obeyed his request. I smiled and ran to the side curtain, watching as the stage director led them downstairs below the stage and onto a platform. Smoke filled the stage and ominous red lights shone on the empty stage that held only black metallic props and flames. I watched as Declan gave the signal, and Eli began pumping intensive notes into the speakers, the platform raising and the crowd going absolutely wild. Some stage crew came behind me and watched as the platform raised completely and lifted them onto the stage, where the lights began shining brightly as the beat of the drums came in and the rest of the band joined in.

Through the entire first half of the show, I watched in awe as Eli sang his heart out into the microphone, loving the way his raspy voice would scream and sing passionatley to the loud roar of the crowd and the melody of their songs. I loved the way he moved, the way he would jump and do crazy poses as he played, the way he was, simply. It was funny, the pride that swelled in my heart as I watched him play. Why did I feel proud? His talent wasn't mine, his love for music wasn't mine, but I couldn't help but tear up at how amazing Elijah Goldsworthy really was.

After an hour and a half of playing, I began to grow impatient. What was the second part of the present? Why did he keep avoiding me when I asked him? I mean, in the note he gave me...I'm sure that telling me about the world tour was not what he was avoiding, it had to be the second part. I crossed my arms and watched as the last chord rang out and the crowd cheered for Proxemics. As much as I loved this concert, I was begining to grow more anxious to what Eli had to tell me. I wished so badly that I had a time machine, it was so annoying! I felt restless as I tore my gaze from the band as Eli talked to the crowd, walking around and trying to get my thoughts off the present. I could wait! I had waited months, I'm sure that whatever Eli had to give me wasn't bad news, like Adam said. I was just being paranoid.

I perked up when I heard the sudden silence and murmuring of the crowd. I turned and was surprised when I saw Eli run up to me, gasping for breath.

"Eli? What are you doing?" I asked urgently, watching as the rest of the band looked at each other in panic and started to play on their own, winging it. "Why did you just leave?"

"I needed a break. I haven't gone this crazy in a while," he chuckled, flipping his slightly moist bangs from his eyes.

"Uhh...okay," I replied cautiously, unsure.

Eli laughed under his breath and smirked up at me, grabbing the waterbottle Derek brought him and drinking it. "So, are you enjoying the show?"

"I am! You guys are doing great, but I would _really _love to see it from the front row..." I hinted, smiling softly.

Eli didn't respond, simply stared at me with a foreign expression on his face. My eyes widened and I uncrossed my arms at his very strange body language. He's been acting like this all day. What was wrong?

"I want you to get used to being here, backstage, watching me and being here after every show and during every water break I have to keep me going," he said breathlessly, putting the waterbottle on a table next to him and move closer to me.

My breath hitched at his words and I felt my heart flutter wildly in my chest. "Get used to it? What do you mean?"

Eli swallowed inaudibly and stuffed his hands in his pockets slightly as he pressed his lips to a line. I waited, watching as he removed his hands from his pockets and reached for my left hand with his right hand, bringing it up to his chest and caressing my fingers with his rough fingers from all of the guitar playing. Proxemics continued to play in the background loudly, the crowd edging them on as Eli smoothed the ring on my middle finger patiently, curiously.

"I love you so much, Clare. I can get used to seeing your beautiful face after every show, waiting for me with open arms and taking care of me like you always do..." he said softly, testing out every syllable that came from his lips. "Could you ever get used to this?" he asked me, his eyes looking up to mine with an urgency I had not seen.

I nodded, speechless, his actions leaving me in awe. I shivered under his intense gaze, my heart pounding.

"Then I just have one question," he breathed huskily.

Nothing prepared me for what he did next. Eli got down on one knee, my hand still in his, and slipped something cool onto my ring finger slowly. My eyes widened and I gasped, my knees going weak and my entire body shaking. Was this really happening? The loud music drowned out around us, and all I could see, all I could feel was him.

Our eyes locked.

A rush of adrenaline

A gasp.

A thump of the heart.

"Clare Diane Edwards, will you marry me?"

**FIN.**

* * *

Epilogue? Yes, I think so. Oh, but first, I will take a short break from writing and begin Rockstar in Eli's point of view, followed by the sequel in the near future. Look out for Eli's point of view of Rockstar in a few weeks; it will be called "Proximity". Because all of you deserve some ease from this bitter-sweet cliffhanger, I will give you the summary to Eli's.

**_Proximity  
_**He wasn't supposed to love her, not with the darkened soul fame had caused. But it was too late. Because there are two sides to every story, this is Elijah Goldsworthy's story. Because proximity is more than words, it's everything. This is where it all began.

Thank you for reading!

**WAZAM**


	19. Alternate Ending

Surprised? I know I am! The reason I wrote this was because the awful promos and hints that lead to unhappy endings have gotten me down and I needed something to boost me up. Seeing as how my other projects are not exactly humorous or cute, I decided to add the alternate ending to Rockstar! It's unexpected, extremly short, and will probably not reveal much information on how I left off Rockstar, but I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own an optimistic mind, not Degrassi.

**CLARE'S POINT OF VIEW**

* * *

_Alternate Ending._

I huffed as I pulled my heavy suitcase on top of my bed, my muscles relaxing as the heavy weight bounced on the mattress.

With a sigh, I dusted my hands and looked around my semi-empty room. I had been packing all day and after four hours of crouching down and cramming clothes and accessories into my two large bags, I was finally finished! Now I was ready to start off the summer of my senior year and probably the greatest two months of my life! I can't believe my parents actually let me go on world tour with Proxemics. I had read the list of places that Proxemics was touring in, and I couldn't wait to explore the other side of the world. I've always wanted to go to Venice, eat authentic Chinese food, and even explored South Africa! I was actually leaving for two months, even after everything that happened between Eli and I in this past weekend...

I felt my phone ring in my pocket suddenly, sucking me out of my thoughts. I took out my phone and smiled as I read the name on the screen.

"Hey Adam!"

"Clare, how's packing going?"

"It's good, I just finished, actually," I said, patting my practically obese suitcase.

"Make sure you pack everything I wrote down on the list! You're probably not as disorganized as the guys, but I still just want to make sure we're all prepared," he snickered.

"I checked off everything on the list, don't worry."

"So I actually called you because I forgot to tell you something on the day of the concert. It was just so hectic that I completely drew a blank."

I sat down on my swinging chair and pressed the phone to my ear. "Yeah, what's up, Adam?"

"Okay well, remember a long time ago when we had a conversation on how I could approach Fiona with the whole 'I can't exactly give you babies' situation?"

I smiled, happy that Adam could openly comment on his situation rather than avoid talking about it. I'm glad that he was accepting himself for who he was, and admitting it to me. I was so honored that I could have his trust.

"Yes, I remember."

"As you know, we've been dating for quite some time now and we've been wanting to take things a little further. I'll spare you the details, but I was just so under the pressure that I had to tell her. So...I told her."

My eyes widened. "You did? What did she say?"

"She told me that she loves me."

I gasped and relaxed in my chair, my heart soaring at his words. "Adam, that's amazing! I told you that she would accept you if she was the one!"

Adam laughed nervously and sighed. "Yeah, it really was relieving once I told her the truth. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but at least I have now and that's all that matters. Speaking of the one, I talked to Eli about...well, you of all people would know what we talked about."

I bit my lip and smirked lightly. "Yes, of course. He's been reminding me every day since, not that I'm complaining!"

"He told me that you have certain...conditions. Care to explain?"

Adam sighed dramatically and I laughed at his sarcasm. I removed the phone from my ear when it beeped that I had a new call.

"Hey Adam, let me call you back. I have another call."

"Alright, but don't think I'm done investigating you!"

"I won't. Bye!"

"Later, Clare."

I hung up and switched phone calls, answering the other line.

"Hello?"

"CLARE YOU'RE LEAVING TOMORROW AND WE HAVEN'T HUNG OUT, WHAT THE HELL?"

I cringed and moved the phone from my ear, Alli's loud voice vibrating from my phone.

"Well, Alli, it's not my fault you're still under slight house arrest!"

"I know, I know. And that's why I have come up with the perfect solution. WEBCAM DATES!"

I arched an eyebrow. "Webcam dates?"

"Yes! We're going to have to webcam every single day when you're out there to fill me in on everything! Especially with all of Drew's crazy fangirls. Who is gonna be there to bark them off if I'm not there?"

"Don't worry, I will be monitoring him every second that I can!"

"Yeah, when you're not undressing Eli with your eyes!"

"Shut up, Alli! So anyway, how are we supposed to webcam? I don't even know how this works," I said, opening up my laptop and turning it on.

"Oh my god, there's this website where you can have live video feed and you mingle with different people online. I already have an account, you have to get one too!"

I giggled. "So it's like speed dating? Wow, Alli, are you implying something?"

"Well I'm not computer savvy! Sav was the one that told me about this and it's the only way I see that we can keep up with our friendship!"

"We have phones, Alli. I'll call you every day! And plus, isn't there just like...an IM with webcam?"

"I don't know! Just get an account and find me, okay? We'll test it out in a while, I'm just gonna eat dinner. You better have an account by the time I come back."

I rolled my eyes and navigated my way to the website Alli instructed me to go to, making an account and all that jazz. I searched for Alli's username and added her, but had to wait for her to come back to accept my request. I checked my laptop's built in webcam and bit my lip, not sure what to do now. I went back to the homepage of the website and tilted my head to the side when I saw the big button that said "START MINGLING!" I scrolled the mouse over it and hesitated. I had nothing else to do...should I do it? After a few seconds of thought, I couldn't help but laugh silently to myself.

Alli forced me to get an IM account and I ended up meeting Elijah Goldsworthy of Proxemics, the one man in the whole world who could ever make me feel like a star. Now Alli forced me to get this webcam mingling account, was there a consistency to this pattern?

"Hah! Maybe I'll meet my future celebrity best friend on here," I said to myself sarcastically, amusing myself.

I clicked the button and sat back, waiting for my first webchat.

"...Eh, she needs a wardrobe makeover."

_Click._

"Three unattractive boys drooling on the computer screen? No thank you."

_Cliiiiiick._

"Next."

_Click._

"Hey, he seems nice-wait...is he...? OH GOD! NEXT, NEXT, NEXT!"

_Furious clicking!_

_Click._

_Clickity click click._

"This is pretty much the worst website of all time!"

_Click._

...

"Oh my god, is that Hayley Williams?"

* * *

If you don't know who Hayley Williams is...I'm sorry for your loss. Don't worry, there is still an epilogue, this isn't the epilogue! Notice that I put no information on what goes on in later chapters! Hopefully this amused my wonderful readers and eased the wait on Proximity!

Follow me on Twitter! I have my own account, the_WAZAM, where you can talk and ask me questions. You want more back-stage information on new projects and chapters? Follow Proxemic's account also, _Proxemics. You know you wanna follow hot rock stars with precious information on the Rockstar world!

**WAZAM**


End file.
